All Comments on 'It Started with Football Pt. 01'

Your story is ok but it's very matter of fact. There isn't too much emotion, build up or suspense. Slow things down.

Great Start!

Very interesting.

Never one like this

Why leave out Emily

3 dicks is ever BETTER!

"Emily, I am glad you were honest with me. Thank you for that. This newly divulged information doesn't change our friendship and doesn't change the fact I want to spend time with you."

I know porn doesn't exactly have to be realistic, but this dialogue sounds nothing like any real person. Sorry to be harsh, but I found it really distracting.

have rob knock up terri with his child or more...

When the first half page is an editorial description of the characters followed by "Hi my name is", the submission isn't going to be worth reading.

Stop being boring. Maybe eventually it can improve up to almost worth reading.

Probably not.