It Took Shrooms to Remember/Confess

I recently took hallucinogenic mushrooms, and it allowed me to talk about and, frankly remember the details, about a sexual experience that I had in the late 1980's in San Francisco that I buried very deep in my psyche and memory. I've never talked about it with my wife or a counselor and this is the first time I am saying it out loud by putting it in writing. I was a baby faced, barely 18-year-old, who moved to the Bay Area from So. Cal and had started his first job in banking in the financial district of the city. I had known only one gay person in my life, that I could recall anyway, was a typical horny teenager jerking off to Playboy or whatever I could find and trying to find my way in life. I was a virgin, had the "gay" tag about me back then, based on a rumor that I got a hard-on at wrestling weigh in's, which was not true might I say, but was not a good thing in 1980's California. That's a tough rumor to overcome at that time and place, guys judge and run from friendship with you and girls ONLY want to be your friend as gay guys make great "friends", even back then.

Ironically, I did find out 10 years later that two of our 11-person wresting team, Lee and Scott, were gay and fucking each other in high school and after practice. I had no clue, and I wrestled with each of them many times, like many times, but never had any idea whatsoever either of them was gay. Just not something that even entered your mind back then or at least it did not to me. Although now that I think about it, I do remember one time, one of the two, Lee, invited me over to his house. He had never invited me anywhere, we rarely hung out even, I couldn't make it either way, so I never thought much of it. This was about the same time of the rumor however that I had a hard-on watching guys strip down and weigh-in, which was not true (as far as I know), so now I wonder about his real intention of the invite.

Now in the 1980's there was no internet or cell phone to easily access porn, your choice was a magazine, a VHS (or Beta) tape you owned (or rented) or the adult video booth. Now the Adult Video Booths were few and far between and, in fact, the only one I knew of was in the city. I still lived at home, was 3 months post high school, and if I got horny and someone was in the house I had only the shower to jerk off. Tough to take five showers a day and the only VCR was in the family room, not to mention I did not own a single VCR tape back then, and the same mags I'd had for 4-months were getting sticky. One night it was just before midnight, I was beyond horny, so I hopped in my little Honda Civic, paid the toll on the bridge, and drove to the city and to the Adult Video Booth. The 20-minute drive allowed me to get super baked, which added to the sexual anticipation as getting high always makes me hornier than I already am. I'd had this experience three or four times before, driving to jerk off in the Video Booth in San Francisco, getting stoned on the way there and arrive horny and ready to go.

The building was next to a bar and a strip club, more of a cabaret I suppose on Broadway with a blacked out-front door under a neon sign that said Adult Video Booths. It was on a busy street, lots of activity at most hours of the night and never felt creepy going in there to jerk off in the booth, it felt kind of exhilarating and taboo all in the same.

I remember vividly going in the building, there is a token machine up front with a $5 minimum purchase required and a guy behind the counter making change. He went out of his way to tell me this time that booth six was empty, after I changed a ten-dollar bill and I said thank you, I'm sure, and headed to booth six.

It was the furthest away from the change machine, down a little hallway and in the back of the building, so I usually just picked booth one or two, they were right there and quick access to my now aching teenage cock. This night, however, I walked into booth six and took all my clothes off to start to masturbate. I don't know about you, but I like to jerk-off naked, no encumbrances whatsoever, just me and my monster playing in the woods. I remember doing like always and kicking my flip-flops off, taking off my tank top and bathing suit (always my preferred attire) and dropping in two tokens to get started.

Again, this was 1985, I'd only seen so much porn, so when a big black cock, with a skinny white kid like me sucking and licking it, popped up on screen I was totally shocked, and yet completely mesmerized. I could not take my eyes off a black cock going in another man's mouth, my cock was straight up in the air at attention and responding to my slow strokes. This felt like nothing I had ever experienced, the butterflies in my balls and the sexual desire felt different, I'm not sure how to even explain it other than the taboo nature of what I was watching was almost mind-altering.

I had never been more turned on in my entire life when I saw a finger coming through a small hole in the wall. I hadn't noticed any holes, big or small, I was just looking forward to the TV and the porn. I am stroking my 7-inch cock slowly, trying not to bust my first nut too fast, after all I just turned 18 and can literally reboot fast with 5 ejaculations my record for a day, when this finger got my attention. It's really dark in booth six, except for the TV which barely glowed, making it a perversion headquarters and the ideal jerk off room. The finger was coming through a hole about my mid-thigh and to my right, I kept watching it, the big black cock on TV and jerking away on my teenage cock simultaneously. The finger retracted and I could see an eye looking through the hole watching me watch gay porn and getting off to the black cock. I was so embarrassed I turned away, red faced and ashamed and turned the channel. Every other booth has mostly regular porn, 5 of 6 channels would be straight porn, but not in booth six, this one had ONLY gay porn. Every channel I would change to would be two guys fucking, sucking cocks or jerking each other off.

Embarrassment does not make a hard on go away I can attest to that, however. So, there I was buck naked in an adult video booth watching gay porn and I knew for sure someone is watching me. For some reason I liked it, it added to the mystery and the eroticism somehow. At some point we both quit pretending he's not watching me, and he asks me to turn back so he can watch me jerk off again. I'm so hot by this point I could care less who is watching me and am happy to oblige. I see the finger again come through the hole, almost begging me to allow him to run it down my cock, followed by a wink from his watching eye. I moved closer so the eye was within inches of my cock and just left it there for a moment, close to it and starting jerking again.

He then said if I moved the tissue box on the table in the corner there was a "larger hole" for "larger items", which of course I had no idea what he was talking about. I walked over to the corner, moved the tissue box and sure enough a hand appeared in a hole in wall and reached directly for my cock. I was shocked and turned on beyond belief all in the same. I was frozen in fear, and sexual desire, a dichotomy of emotions, 18-years old and no clue what I was doing naked in an adult video booth jerking off with a male hand coming through a hole wanting to touch my cock.

I've read lots of accounts where guys say well if I was turned on enough then maybe it wouldn't matter who was sucking on me or touching my cock and well that is true, so you know. I then moved closer to allow him to touch me. I grabbed his hand and guided it to my engorged balls, and then up my shaft all the way to the tip. He knew exactly what to do, he rubbed his finger on the head, spreading the ample pre-cum all over my teenage cock and slowly stroked me. Light soft rhythmic strokes bringing me ever closer to the hole and then I heard him tell me to slide my cock in the hole, which I did. He engulfed it so fast, licking the head expertly and working my dick through that glory hole, it was completely erotic and perhaps the best head I ever had. It did not last long, I was 18 for goodness sakes, and came in his mouth in 3 minutes maybe, if even that. I mean I blew a load in this guy's throat; he wrapped his lips and mouth so gently around it, kept with the tongue on the undertip, I mean explosion of cum. Wow!

Typical straight guy response from the 80's of I'm not gay and high tailed it the fuck out of there as quickly as I could get on my shorts, and never to think or speak about it again. I let a guy suck me off after watching me jerk off to gay porn in an adult video booth in San Francisco in 1985 and it took mushrooms to get it out of me. I've never told my wife, won't this be a surprise to her, or any other living soul but here is the story for the whole world to read.