All Comments on 'It was in the Cards'

Welcome back. Fabulous!

5* I can hardly wait for part two.

Tc

Gotta continue this one!

Nice premise.

Sex a bit quick, though.

Sure woud have liked some reaction from him during the 'lap dance'. A few moans. Some direction about how he should rub his cock on her ass. Perhaps her playing with her oen boobs and/or pussy while the rubbing was happening.

Dialog would have helped. How about some discussion about wherher he/she ever had anal sex before. Did he/she ever think about it? What? Did he/she ever watch anal porn? Did he/she get excited by it? Did he/she ever masturbate to it?

A little kissing her ass might have been helpful. And, since she was too dry, how about a little tonguing her ass?

And, at some point, the no touching anything but ass rule could be ignored.

Four stars.

Hot!!! Hope you will continue the story!

Super hot please continue.

Great work hope to see more

This story really needs more chapters...

Money's not a problem but the internet has been out for a month? And Amazon will deliver decks of cards.

Another part would be very welcome.

Next part is uploaded, pending approval.

For now the plan is to make several parts more.

Thanks for your support and interest.

I had almost forgotten how much fun it is to write.

Love the fact you go into detail with the sex scene, so many authors tend to be generalized in that regard, as a result after reading a few of these kind of stories it can seem you have read them all.

This was vary refreshing. Thank you. Looking forward to what happens next.

YUK!!!

Maybe a little more why she all of a sudden wanted to be Cock treat.

Looking forward to the next chapter.

I hope there is some dialog into why a brother and sister would suddenly be so horny.

Right on!!!!

I might be wrong but it seemed there was a hint on magic going on. Either way it was hot and fun, moving on to Part 2 to see how wrong or right I am.

I read only about half of the first page and did not continue because of glaring grammatical errors. Try connecting with a volunteer editor.

Great start.

Typos and grammatical errors notwithstanding, this was a well-written, well-though out story! The in-bed action was super-hot and went pretty much the way I'd hoped it would. I'm really looking forward to Chapter 2!

X-Man

OK premise.

But the sex was far too automatic. Too mechanical.

Didn't seem to be any reluctance that had to be overcome.

She never needed to play with her own pussy while he was playing with/ fucking her ass. Why?

Four stars.

Great story. The little bit of magic was enough to make the lack of resistance make sense. I'm not sure why they don't have internet, but if that's what it takes to get these two to play together, I'm in. 5*