by Plenipotentiary
Good premise.
But totally unrealistic re the sex.
They're both virgins. Presumably they've never had any boyfriends/girlfriends, but they're both 100% knowledgeable about each other's body. Huh?
Needed long, slow, tentative exploration of each other.
Needed detailed descriptions of each other's bodies.
Have they watched porn? What kind? Did they like it? Did they masturbate to thoughts of each other? How often?
Do their bodies live up to those they saw on porn?
Need much more extended details about their exploring and playing with each other before moving on to cock in pussy.
Three stars.
A lovely story, well written. A nice gradual development without tearing the clothes off as soon as possible. Keep up the good work.
Many friends are in the same situation with neither wanting to make the first move. Jerm and Rachel are fortunate to have a friend like Dayna to push them togrther. It is better to take a chance than regret it.
Please continue. College decisions will keep the story going, as will
your character development skills.
NEEDS a part two. You can’t have it end like that. They’re going to different colleges miles apart, there has to be more.