All Comments on 'It's Only Fair Ch. 05'

he/she never will be. I'm enjoying the bumbling sleuth tack the tale has taken immensely. The narrator does seem to have blinders on in terms of Stan's potential role in this and that's getting annoying. But too many other subplots have the ring of truth. Details galore to keep track of.

thEeeping the tension high might well be difficult with semi-demented spouse forced to wings away from dramatic stage. After sordid emails are revealed, Vanadorn will have a task keeping story arc on course. So far, he's doing a superlative job.

One thing for sure, if Ellie was a budding Dominatrix, it's a pity she didn't have her minions do the dishes, dusting and laundry. This " mess " could have been so easily avoided, if Rick had been coming home to a tidy house. *****

knowing not who will phone. TK U MLJ LV NV

Very entertaining and interesting. Thanks for sharing.

You really know how to keep us hanging. Great tale. Now we get to see what's really happening. Please continue...

Come on, he can't be THIS FUCKING CLUELESS much longer.....

We all KNOW it's the neighbor across the street who's her Cuff/Fuck buddy....

Other than that, a good story, and if true, painful to tell also.....

Keep it up!

still a wimp.

Nope, I'm done, you add so much shit to the story that isn't needed, like when he blew his nose and it threatened to overflow the tissue. I mean really? Really? Adding all the unnecessary stuff just becomes tedious and boring and takes away from what could be a really good story. How naive is Rick, he still can't figure out shes been fucking Stan? For fucks sake the answer was right in front of him.

I wasn't sure after reading the first chapter just where you were heading ( still not sure) but each chapter since has been building nicely. Mostly well written with good characters although I enjoyed this one more because Elle was not in it much. Can't wait for the next few chapters & please don't follow what often seems to be the norm with many writers here & just drop in a lame as ending, it is the dessert of the story, make it appetising. 5 *****

Good story, though. Rings true to me.

Forget the naysayers. The amount of detail is perfect. It gives the reader some insight to the extent of his emotions and is a reminder of all the little mundane details that still have to be attended to when going through a traumatic time like he is.

Despite the apparent level of betrayal, I'm so far willing to cut her some slack. I have some experience with mental health issues and I know it's not all cut and dry like some people believe.

This is proving to be a better story than I expected.

Many Literoticans, sadly, seem to get frustrated by anything longer or more complex than a comic book

Another cracking and very well written chapter that left me wanting more. Considering how much focus was on the handcuffs this chapter, I did feel Rick is being abnormally dense by continuing to ignore the cuff marks he saw on Stan's and his wife's hands.

This is an interesting story, but it reads more a non-fiction piece about a guy dealing with facing the expense and difficulties of a sick wife. It is intense but it is not all that entertaining. Zero erotic quality (this is Literotica!) and very little dramatic tension - more like real life anxiety! Very detailed location description, and accurate, but do we really need to know how bad the traffic is on Long Island? Also, where are this guys pals? Most guys have friends that they would talk to, this guy seems to be completely alone, weird. Good writing, but maybe this should be in another forum.

Especially liked the portrayal of the CPS and legal authority tie ins. Like playing a game of Whack-A-Mole. So far he seems to be hitting more than missing.

Nice set in with the moms.

When do we get to Stan being her playmate ? ( Just my guess :) )

You're doing an ace story here. will be following all your future writings

@Slamdawg. She already had her 'bottom' doing all that shit work. She married him. She's keeping the kinky sex stuff for Stan. Considering how he's acting, I'm surprised one of the MULTIPLE details Vanadorn is adding wasn't his frilly French Maid apron.

There is a fine line between verisimilitude and overwrought details. And I knew we had crossed that line when I needed to be told, not only that he had Oreos with water, but HOW HE FUCKING ATE THEM. I find myself with this overwhelming curiosity to know if he nibbled the cookie wafer in a clockwise or counterclockwise direction and how many licks it took to get all the cream off the cookie.

I am all for the personal touches, but we have turn by turn directions, detailed menus of EVERY meal, and seemingly every single diaper change! Vanadorn...you have established the character as a superlative dad (overly superlative, but it's fiction, so I'll give it a pass). I don't need to know again and again that he changes diapers! Excuse me. Not only that he changes diapers, but whether it is wet, dirty, and what exact brand of diaper bench he happens to be using in any given moment. My eyes and brain need to process all these words. This is filler!

Now, some of this detail is first rate! The fact that CPS is NOT on his side and the bias in the courts. The nuances of police investigations and the negatives of giving the cops open access to the house. I liked the sniping of the two yentas about the daughter. The description of Elle was good. I had a sense of how lost she was in that hospital.

Oreos= hell no! Car directions= if you mention more than one or two roads, it's filler. Expressions, legal details, and emotional byplay? Hell yes!

I am engaged in the story NOW. Because now, we've past the two pages of weeping and things are actually happening.

Now, I say these things because I am, according tot he anonymice, a douchebag. I say these sorts of things about stories I LOVE. It's something I can't (won't) control. Somehow, pointing out things I consider mild flaws in the story telling process is 'being hypercritical' but calling the writer a cuck fag who takes it up the ass is serious critique. I'll let you decide how germane my comments are.

And I DO love this story. Having a man call CPS is bold! Having detailed and layered discussions of how he needs to protect himself is awesome. It was a little slow in the beginning, with the problem barely established until the later part of chapter two, but overall I dig the quality of the writing and research. Don't stop writing.

Just...less Oreos. And diapers.

So far you are spot on with so many things.

CPS is NEVER your friend, and unfortunately to often does not have the childs interest at heart.

If anything you've minimized the pain and suffering of living with someone with a untreated mental illness. There is something called caregiver syndrome, also PTSD, depression and stress effects on the husband, etc

The question is, will she be stabilized, and will her forgive her. even if she responds well with the treatment, she probably wont be ever quite the same

And the biggie, did her getting into cheating really result from her manic episode.

The illness coupled with an available partner would account for it.

The cancer mention was also spot on. Also the "in sickness and in health" bit.

If your wife has a mental illness that caused her to cheat, overspend, gamble, drink, etc etc. Is she really responsible? remember the sickness and health thing.

I cant wait to see how this plays out.

Stan needs to be punished, severely, if he took advantage of a woman with a illness.

I'm with you. I think I posted on an earlier chapter that unless it was a giant red herring that Stan was the play mate.

I'm amazed that he hasn't connected the dots with marks on Stan's wrists!

Clueless?

Engrossing read, top notch writing. I imagine he hasn't made the Stan connection simply because he is so completely overwhelmed with the situation. Being blindsided by life tends to tunnelvision your focus to the bare essentials of surviving. The fact that so many of the readers are guessing about Stan means you have done your job as the writer. You have sucked the readers in and made them think. Even the hateful reviews means people are still reading, if only to tell you repeatedly how much they hate the story and your writing. As far as Im concerned? If you write it, I will keep reading. :-)

...with your rant, but this over-description of minutiae is a classic symptom of obsession. This is a superb portrayal of a man in turmoil.

The only control he has over anything is of his normal daily activities, the order and timing thereof and the right to describe them as he wishes.

He has a sick wife, the CPS is lurking and he is probably one step away from thinking that anyone of importance is really not quite doing all they can to help.

Let’s face it, he’s a fucking wreck - severely anxious and depressed.

He can describe the color of his mucus or his daughter’s stools as far as I am concerned, as long as it helps get the story out as the author wants.

Good work V – 5 stars

Yes, there's an awful lot of detail--tissues, traffic, Oreos, diapers... But sometimes stringing out the telling has a way of making a story even more compelling, and that seems to be working here. There are a lot of readers, including me, hanging on each new chapter.

Thanks, ohio

A couple of observations: 1. Very unlikely that the hosp. "psych. panel" was available in the middle of the night. More likely that Elle would have been admitted and the panel members would have come to work in the morning. Then the panel would have done its thing. 2. Since Rick is telling the story, I pretended the author was purposefully using bad grammar because Rick's grammar is not perfect. But all of the characters seem to have poor grammar skills. For example, the female CPS investigator used one of my "favorite" poor grammar words. (I paraphrase part of her sentence.) "I am here to observe yourself in your home environment." I rest my case.

Tim413

Very good story the reader goes with the author and his character from step to step.

It is difficult decision where is the border of sickness and health oath, but the spouse threatens to kill you in your sleeping the oath is over..................5*****

I skip over text in a story... skim chapters to get the basic premise... if the writing is not quite good enough to hold my interest. I even do it with sex scenes if it's badly contrived, gratuitous or irrelevant... or if I'm not just enjoying the dirty sex.

Not so with your story, Vanadorn.

As far as I am concerned, if it is good writing, the detail just breathes life into the characters, reality into the fantasy world we are reading.

I mean, we have writers on this site that can't even stay in the first or third person for an entire sentence, and they still get high enough ratings if the point they are trying to make does not grate against the psyche of the masses.

Instead, what we have here is a decent story, more real than most, of a higher caliber than I have come to expect.

So write as you see fit, Vanadorn, you are doing a great job.

However... if Stan is a Red Herring, ok... but either way Rick should have considered his possible involvement by now, almost anybody would have.

And lastly, if she had a little play-buddy (and it's obvious that she did), then it's WAYYYY too far gone to resurrect the marriage, in my humble opinion. Mental health questions are not enough to excuse it, especially when she would have had to plan her dalliances, conceal her activities, and the level of disrespect she exhibited toward Rick when confronted, was off the scale.

...But it's your story, so you get to make it up. Just when Rick works out Stan's involvement, Rick should become a psycho ninja CIA agent who can make Stan suffer enough to pray for death!!! LOL.

In any case, though, just bloody-well hurry it up. ;)

this story is getting pretty interesting and exciting. you seem to get exactly how things would happen if other people get involved in this situation. but seems like you are not telling everything about the relationship of the two of them and this guy Stan. who he's friends with, her him or both. be nice to know how it is

Great read and hope you continue to offer stories when this one ends. It reads like a novel and I'm wondering if you've written any books with this theme. If so I'd love to have one for the beach.

5*

I've found myself skipping quite a lot. But overall, a very good story by an obvious very good author!

As implausible as this story may sound, I have no trouble believing it. The reason is that my own brother lived something very close to this. Except CPS took the children.

My brother worked with me, long hours logging. 12 hours from the time we left till we were home. He would get home and his wife would have done nothing. Absolutely nothing. The kids diapers would be dirty they'd be hungry and the house looked like a pig sty. It was awful. Then he'd have to clean house, do the dishes and then cook dinner, take care of the kids and wash dishes again. After 3 or 4 years of this, he was worn out.

Someone finally called CPS and because of his wife and him being at work all day, they took the kids and gave them to his mother in law which was taking them from the frying pan and tossing them in the fire. Neither of the kids grew up to be much because of that.

It wasn't until the kids were older and well established in their new 'home' and my sister in law was diagnosed with bi-polar and once on meds, because the nicest lady ever. But it was too late for their kids. Where she had once been violent and lazy, she became the wife she should have been. It was unreal and 20 years later, they are still married.

In comments on a previous chapter I asked for an explanation. The story is giving me one. I appreciate it. As a long time lurker (20yrs now) of this site I get a catharsis effect from stories like this. I am the vanilla fourth party who watched a neighbourhood group dissolve over issues like this. The end of four marriages out of five. I hope there is no association between kink and mental illness being stressed here. Personal perspective is what it is. I will be registering soon so debate will be possible as a user if anyone took issue with my hopes for the plot line. Yes there is an attention to detail and many erratic thoughts. I know I had a good many of them as I went through my own version of this. I also know that what I saw wasn't what was happening until I got the story from those involved and the last divorce was final. In the interest of too much and unneeded information. I am the married one.

I have also been skimming through most of the fluff. Too much detail is making it difficult to get into a rhythm!

It's obvious that Stan's the bastard that she's been cheating with. I get that this guy is supposed too be an average good natured man, but he should have an inkling of doubt about his "friend"

Let me say that I am very interested in the story and will follow it to the end. Then let me say that I am weary of VD telling us the rules of engagement for his story at the beginning of every chapter. I am beginning to wonder if he may have control issues. Then there are the dirty diapers, the Oreo eating, the roads he takes, and the absolute density of our hero. The clues were placed in front of him from the start. Maybe Stan is a good guy, but the scratched wrists really should have set off alarms in hubby's head that he should have at least asked about. Being told what tools and materials are in his basement was another alarm.

I was going to say that no one's Mom talks like this guy's mom, but I've been to Brooklyn. He literally won't say "shit" with a mouth full if the kid is around, but his mom drops the f-bomb all over the kid, and everyone else. His character should be concerned about the child services hearing her swear in front of the little tyke. To recap: I find the story very interesting, dislike that VD feels he can set ground rules for us readers at the start of every chapter, dislike the senseless fill that we all skim over while reading the relevant parts, and am eagerly awaiting the next chapter. I guess that makes me confused, or ambivalent, or maybe bi-polar?

it can't be much as you have him painted as an idiot in the story.

waste of 7 chapters finish it. what a wino of a hubby and as they say when the going get tough divorce her.

Thanks again to everyone for the public comments and private feedback.

I am about 1/3 of the way through Chapter 6 @ this time and hope to post it tomorrow (Friday). There are lots of thoughts and guesses on what's what and who's who and what the hell is with Stan!?!? ;)

All I can say is I won't comment here and you'll have to wait and see.

As for the 'rules' - sorry about that, I want to accept the right of everyone to freely comment and vote and not shy away from doing so - but you have to admit, some of them have been pretty caustic. I'll tone it down in the future.

Thanks again and I'll keep you posted when I'm finished with 6.

-V

Here are my rules for comments. Generally, I have a pretty laisse faire attitude.

However, I tend to have a few guidelines

1) Duna gets one entry. You know why, bubballa!

2) If anyone starts a political or religious rant, I cut it including all responses. I generally eschew talking about politics in a story. If an AUTHOR talks about politics, he opens himself up. But I don't think that belongs here

3) If someone just gratuitously insults another poster. I tend to go easy on this, but reserve the right to chop him.

It's easier to just clip out comments than get huffing and puffing about ground rules. Easier to establish if this story will or will not be liked by the masses.

And let's face it. Some of these people who 1 bomb and write dismal five word dismissals of a story need some charity. They get tired of flipping burgers...their mom makes them take out the trash all the time. The basement smells. It's nice they have an outlet for their bile which doesn't include clock towers...

that seems a bit superfluous. Cant wait for next intallment, want to see what she was up to.

@ FD45 Ha Ha Ha.........I am banned here..............I gave this chapter 5*****. I hope that is not problem................

It seems some people are put off by the minute details. I have to disagree. It's the author's job to paint the picture of the scene. It's not like TV where these things don't have to be described. You can see it. But in a story, words have to be used. He wants you to see what his mind sees. The details add a certain level of realism. It is like the difference between regular TV and HDTV.

I commend this author. I like to know how he eats his Oreos as his life is falling apart. I can almost put myself in his shoes. I can relate more when I connect with the character. It seems that many people here would rather have a "See Spot Run" kind of story. Me? I would rather know what kind of dog Spot is, what color his fur is, and how fast he runs. That's just me though

Reasonably well written although the main character seems a little distant in his emotions.

I think the author is a little too worried about the word count issue. Just let the story flow and break it where it feels right. As a reader I simply don't care about that issue and don't need constant updates at the start of every story. I know the first chapter was a little short but learning a new system is sufficient excuse and that's all that needed to be said about it.

One grammar issue is driving me crazy. You keep using "I" where it should be "me." Every prepositional phrase is wrong. It should be "for Amber and me" instead of "for Amber and I." Adding a second object doesn't change the pronoun; it should say the same with or without "Amber and."

Stan did it with her....

Great story. Abuse for a man indeed has an added component: shame because a man isn’t expected by society to be a victim of physical abuse. It’s an extra taboo which has tob e overcome before one goes to the authorities.

I have had a feeling from the very start though that Stan will turn out to be a snake in the story.

The author is the creator of the story. I like what he is doing. If you do not like it..

Read another story. I admit that it was very depressing until the police showed up!

The basic moral is there. In sickness certainly describes Elle and I would not quit that easily... Though I admit that the hero seems to a fairly level-headed chap.

<<<STAN>>>

Projecting again.

Some authors feel the overwhelming need to project their own views onto others' tales and try to make that author "better" by trying to get him or her to write what that author wants them to write.

Kudos to the authors who don't give into peer pressure and continue to write their own tales, not the tales that everyone else wants them to write.

Like me, Vanadorn is doing just that, and doing a damn good job of keeping the majority of us riveted. Don't worry about FD45 or any of the other writers on here who try to "improve" other writers into what they think they should be. FD and a couple others tried that with me at the beginning. They know better than to try it with me again. They still try with new authors, though. They have to try and get every other author on here to write what THEY think you should write.

Van, to that I say TO HELL WITH THEM, and keep writing what you want to write. Great job so far, and definitely looking forward to Chapter 6. The tale is very interesting. Keep it up! :)

5 HUGE Stars!

Great writing, good characters, nice pacing, you are doing a great job.

Now, about the plot. You are writing about events in a life that I don't know about, that is new to me. Kudos! Keep it up. Tell your story, not mine or anyone else's.

Thanks a lot.

I've read so many stories on here and they all share 1 of 3 things. Either they're ''cuckold, cheating, or revenge''. For the first time, the author has gone to a subject that almost never is considered. I gave you 5 stars and wish I could give 5 more. Add in the fact that ''Rick'' is handling it the way it should be, and you have a classic in the making. Exellent work in all aspects

Do I think he is giving too much detail, maybe. I mean did we really need to know it was 1:17? However the overall story is gripping. And unlike another recent story here that deals with the law the legal stuff in this story is rock solid. Especially the advice about CPS and the anti-male bias inherent in the system.

Can't wait for more.

He ought to divorce the shrew and marry the lady cop.

Eager for the next chapter.

You are an excellent writer, keep it up. Can't wait for the next installment.

Does a good job of describing the husbands confusion and feelings.The one problem is like others I don't care how out of it rick is,he would naturally suspect stan,the guy is around all the time,hangs out w his wife,at the very least he would not share details with Stan.

Interesting question,why do the cops want her stuff? As they point out kink or adultery are not crimes,so what relevance did they have?Is this a part of the plot,where the cops will get dna and prove stan did things with elle?Will they charge him with rape for taking advantage of a mentally ill woman (they could if they felt Elle could not consent)..or is stan illl himself and had tried to help Elle and didn't do her? The fact that it isn't clear is why it is good.

One tiny legal quibble,CPS will never tell the subject of an investigation who called them,shield laws are in place,for obvious reasons.

Yes, this is powerful stuff. Five stars. I wish the installments came faster. I'm on the edge of my seat.

This story has all the dryness of a police procedural. Instead of Detective Colombo or a worn out and very cynical Sam Spade we have a protagonist with a tendency to OCD giving us his train of thought as his routine–which is very important for people like him and his life is falling apart.

The story is dry, we know or think we know who did it, the ending is still another chapter or two away and the main character isn't going to turn into John McClane.

And, making matters worse, the natives–the Anonymous Literoticati, are getting restless and forming a mob. Let's give the guy a chance to finish his story, if it's really bad then you can take up your smoky, pine tar torches, your pitchforks and burning crosses and have at him.

Methinks the neighbor, Stan, is the co-S&M culprit as I expect a few other readers do. I've known of a few bipolar folks and none have had a good family life. Pity. Good reading thus far. Cheers!

"MR Rick"? Is this story taking place in Casablanca? On another note remember early in the series the marks on Stans wrist? Just saying.

I’m hooked! You’ve written this story not sparing us much of the minutia of life. At first I was hoping you would switch to more summaries to speed up the story, but by chapter 4 the details weren’t as important as the tone you had set.

I’m now in the husband’s head. Getting a reader to that point is no easy matter, so I applaud you for that. And being so close to the husband I’m now wondering what I would do in his shoes. It’s a frightening prospect.

His wife is mentally ill and she’s role playing in an S&M relationship. The holder of the key to those handcuffs will tell us much about how she entered into that relationship: as Dom or Sub. But will knowing the truth bring closure…or more pain.

I look forward to how you resolve this dilemma.

The legal stuff is right on, hope he finds out the truth and does what he has to too protect himself and his daughter, thanks for your effort.

Great tale keeping and loving every second of it. Thanks for writing.

Thanks for posting and looking forward to more with a final concluding chapter. Best advice, write what you want. You're the author. To date have enjoyed the story concerning a difficult topic.

I thought you could not get committed today with out a judges order, usually you can only be held for 24 or 48 hours.provided you okay this and you would have to be seen as a harming your self or others.My ex wife was committed to Marlboro in N.J. For six months 20 yrs ago ,now they have closed all those institutions down and you own insurance is only good for 30 days.so they will put you back in the streets that is why we have so many homeless today. So I cannt see n.y any different since they closed most phys hospital too. It was to easy to lock her up for 30 days so I find that troubling.so how is he going to raise the money to pay these lawyers the pound of flesh they now charge 350 $ per hr and up. Charge you for every minute you are in contact with them , sitting in court , dinner, lunch, travel time calling there secy.etc if you do not have mega bucks you going to the poor house fast. Fiqure at least 50 k and up to start. Good luck rick , your going to need it and find those dollars.

Iron Dragon. You sure seem to have a hard on for me. You certainly seem to want to bring my name up in every story we seem to comment on together.

Which is funny. I don't think about you at all.

Don't change a thing, Iron. Anyone who quibbles about nonsensical plots, ridiculous levels of violence, grammar and spelling are just 'projecting'...and probably jealous...

Because you are perfect!

++

To the OP. I would much rather you don't change a thing and continue writing than you take my mild critiques as anything more than a mild critique. I tend to like a bit more happening in my story than emotional wallowing, but that is more of a personal preference and I am enjoying this very much since I like a wide variety of stories, even as I have a bit of OCD about correction.

I stayed up a bit late and finished up Chapter 6. It might not have made whatever cut off this site uses, but there is a very good chance it will be live Saturday.

Thanks to everyone for all your comments and feedback! I'm also honored to see many writers and names I have read and respected are featured here reading my own tale.

-V

Stan is the man. Dominant, sadist, master. Evil incarnate. How am I doing? Enjoying this story, eager for more.

Vanadorn, you've fans, and you've got serious chops. don't let the readers sway you, it's crystal clear that you have something on your mind that you want to write about- and you are doing it very well.

Thanks

Is right. You sure dragged this out, almost painful to read

I have just read all five to this point, and am totally involved. Not having lived this myself, I sense it is a very real portrayal. It is difficult to process, but very well written. Unlike some of the other commentators, I think the pacing is fine. Looking forward to the next installments.

Hate to be a nag but the story is too good to pass up--the grammar is driving me crazy--the worst is the use of all the--and I's--as in she looked at Amber and I --anytime you have something involving 2 people drop the Amber and just say she looked at I or she spoke to I--sounds weird right? Then say she looked at me--always use whichever sounds correct and everywhere you used --and I--you should have used me. Story is a solid 5 but grammar is a 2 at best.

Annonymous and the "I's"

You are so totally correct. And what's killing me is I know better. Ugh - what an ass. I think I caught most of them in Chapter 6 but Chapter 7 (which I'll start tonight) should have that problem licked.

Thanks and it's not nagging - it's helping! :)

-V

lol... again... i hate waiting... u keep this up... and i'll actually make an accnt for this,,, so u can know whos impatiently waiting ... btw.. good job.. yet again... as far as that other anonymous goes... he must be one of those picture book kinda guys... i wouldnt worry much about him.. this is actually good.... lol

...is quite correct, given certain circumstances. The ones objecting need to educate themselves on the use of this - if the pronoun is in place of a subject it should be 'I'.

curiousss, are you going to 'explain' OFF OF next?

lol. (And this is coming from India)

k.

Unfortunately your story is too true for many couples. I'm not referring to the BDSM part of your story but to the lack of communication in marriage.

I have enjoyed your story. Please continue.

Remove the Amber from the sentence and see how it reads.

Author has misused the I pronoun consistently in this work. It's like hitting a speed bump when reading the story.

@FD45

Actually, I tend to ignore you most of the time. Don't take it personally. Don't go away mad... You know the rest. :)

The story could be a copy of my own, let aside the bondage, but police, CPS, lawyers, shame, court etc.

It was a tear gripping path down a personally very dark memory lane I do not particularly want to visit to often. Your story and the way the man acts is very true to real life. This done without those SEAL's and testosterone stiff guys that can be found here otherwise.

You must know by now how many people enjoyed this story and how it begs for more chapters. I hope you are considering carrying on the story in the near future.

Well done in general and kind of scary. The legalese is slightly different in terms of what's happening to Elle than it would normally be in Minnesota, but similar. Here, you would have the arrest, then the police would note her to be a danger to self or others (in this case husband & child), and put her on what's called a transportation hold - meaning she then gets taken somewhere where a qualified psych provider (MD, DO or NP - I am not sure if PA's can do this or not) evaluates her.

That initial evaluation (if 'positive' for danger/problems) would then lead to a 72-hour hold (effectively 3 business days as an inpatient - worst time to get put on a 72-hour hold is the Wednesday before Thanksgiving) and then that doc (if s/he sees a problem) can then petition mental health court for commitment. So from my perspective going to a 30-day stay skips a couple of steps, but not all states work the same way.

In a way, your characters are taking this too well. A husband reacting to the CP report by his daycare provider usually doesn't calm down that fast. Likewise a mother hearing that her daughter had been committed. As a psych nurse I would love to see such acceptance and support for my patients.

And on that note - depakote is a pretty good choice, given the likely diagnosis.

I still can't believe he doesn't suspect Stan!

Even assuming he forgot about Stan's wrists when he discovered Ellie's and the cuffs, he CAN'T be so clueless that he doesn't suspect the neighbor who seems to have a lot of spare time, maybe even remember the wrist injuries, and put two and two together.

And if I were Rick, I'd be super pissed with Kerri. her "it was my job" wouldn't mean shit to me. Give me a heads up or you can fuck the hell off!

Please don't insult the readers intelligence by creating a main character who is just too dumb and passive to get the sympathy of aforementioned. He has many attributes, he should not be let down by being so stupid and clueless about Stan.

Thanks for the offering.

Great last line and fits in so well.

from page 1.

"Kerri, you ever come near me or my kid again I'll ask for a restraining order and whatever else my lawyer says I can do."

Time for a new daycare and maybe a new wife.

do it yourself? Really? Our hero and main character continues to be a moron.

Well a few lines later it occurs to him that Miss Muppet from hell probably has a helper with her handcuff play.

Stan is suspect #1 you moron!

to hell with Kerri's cleavage. Cleavage is cheap and available. F your excuses for turning me in. I don't give a f if it was the right thing to do. Fine. You did your duty. It cost you a friendship. No good deed goes unpunished. Go suck a lemon bitch.

the plot thickens.

My sentiments exactly.

But it's a great story. 5 stars

that their 'friend' stan, is the one fucking elle. she's clearly cheating.

bipolar or not. i dated/loved a bipolar girl. loved more than anyone. she cheated... a lot. tried to be abusive, but could only manage verbal...since i'm extremely intimidating....even as a 'boyscout' as i am. unlike your protagonist...i came from a rough home. i smile...i put up with a lot of abuse. but i snap...badly. so i learned to fight back early to prevent it. and i'm a mean sob when i put in 5% effort. that's what your main needed. i never hit her though. i'd restrain her, tickle her, mock her shows of power. i'd also nip in the bud her abusive verbal assaults...eventually.

but...that woman i was with. she ran away. said i was 'too perfect'. ran off to huff paint with some shady dude and fuck and have kids with. years later....she's a train wreck...her kids were all taken away by CPS. the dude tried to come after me but ran away when i laughed and got in his face. like i said...i have more rage issues than she had bipolar ones. unlike her...i got help early. friends/family/strangers/therapists...anything. anything to have control back. i don't feel bad for those that dont seek help. i just cant. it's an insult to those of us with no real support network, but forged one anyway. hell....my ex was 10 times better at doing on her 'manic' phases than me. i still addressed my issues....even if slowly.

It is an agency that does far more harm than good at least 80% of the time. It's filled with low IQ, poorly educated, officious (mostly) women who see their jobs as an opportunity to assert their own importance by pushing people around, often with tragic consequences. All these matters were better handled by the police. CPS was created by a manufactured child abuse hysteria in the 90s. Almost all of the headline cases that were used to get political support for creating CPS latr were shown to be travesties. Anyone remember the McMartin case in Socal? The Wenatchee Witch Trials? the Amirault case (Mass)? The falsely accused British nanny in RI (I believe)? and so on? CPS is based on massive fraud on the scale of the Duke Lacrosse case (another abuse of the legal sytem by the left). CPS makes the TSA look like the gold standard for air travel security. How do I know? Try representing families in cases with CPS involved.

While I can agree on part of you comment about CPS going off of the rails, there are to many numerous documented cases here in Texas to not aree, but are in error on another point. CPS in Michigan was alive and kicking in the '70's, it wasn't founded in the '90's. I will admit to a short period of a rocky start with them but two phone calls took care of that issue and they ended up after a short investigation recommended that our two daughters be removed from her custody and sole custody be given to me. Signed: BTW

While there might have been something like CPS in Michigan in the 70s, the other Anon is right. CPS as it now exists was created in the 90s through a series of highly publicized, but utterly fraudulent, "horror stories", e.g. the McMartin case and the "Wenatchee Witch trials". These matters were handled more competently and legally by the police. CPS workers generally have no real expertise and believe they can act lawlessly. Unfortunately, CPS has been around long enough that people just assume that this highly disfunctional agency has a reason to exist. The money would be better spent on addition police.

It’s Stan, it’s gotta be. A slimy snake for sure.

5 stars, but having dealt with CPS and the law, this is complete fantasyland. But it does not detract from a tale well told.

Why does he trust Kerri?