All Comments on 'It's Only OK When I Do It'

And though the dialogue is reasonable, it too meanders... or better yet, is incomplete. It’s like you know what you want to say, so start putting down words and go on. Problem is we don’t know exactly what you’re trying to say, so a bit of... I want to say vague... dialogue (still not the right word) leaves us/me struggling to figure out what you’re trying to convey. It’s not awful each and of itself, but it is constant throughout the story. If I have to stop and think and try and figure out what you’re trying to convey ever 5th or 6th sentence, reading back several sentences to try and figure out what you’re trying to say by reading in context, it gets pretty annoying. I mean, most of us have that prblem when writing fast of getting too far ahead in our mind what we’re trying to write down, i.e. we know what complex idea we’re trying to say, and think we’ve put it down on paper/the monitor (almost said CRT, hints at how old I am), but in fact we’ve written something simplistic, or incomplete, because WE KNOW EXACTLY what we are meaning to say. We just didn’t actually write it that way.

What you need is to do more self editing. Read what you wrote word for word instead of skimming your own reading (which is tough to do), perhaps forcing yourself by reading it aloud. Read how WE read your work. Or better yet, have someone else read/edit your work with a fresh pair of eyes (and mea culpa if you are having someone else edit already, but if that’s the case maybe you need a second fresh pair of eyes).

Hope you take this critisism well. Dont mean to be mean, if it comes across that way.

this was mostly good story... and to continue, Marty may find a way to retrieve his wife to join the fun? what's good for one is certainly fine for all

Having a girl friend, a wife even!! Of course if it ever happened, you'd want other guys fucking her, what husband and boy friend doesn't? Yeah, no one you know.

In general, don’t name two characters so similarly. I’m not invested enough to know the difference between Mike and Marty. Makes it hard to keep track of who is doing what at any given time.

Poor story line. Limited conflict or struggle. Not very erotic.

If they are happy with all this, why not next time call his father to have a bite too?

Imagine your brother laying this on you. Especially if you had ever fantasized about his wife. Very fun to think about

Is there a sane person alive who would waste as much time on something they don’t like that this total loser does on these stories? If a normal person does not care for something, they tend to not seek it out. This loser spends hours every day looking for every story like this just so he can feel self important by making his comments online. I suppose it’s the only thing he has in his sad miserable life.

Kind of a funny story though. Unfortunately I have no brothers to perv on their wives though. Don’t know how I would have responded. Keep writing author and don’t let that slug bother you with all of his lame rants.

I would say that most people don't think that way. And don't react that way to a hug. And I can't think of any greater betrayal than to fuck around with a brother-in-law or sister-in-law. What kind of person would do that? It makes for a lousy story. Sick puppy shit.

Not my cup of tea but as you BIO says lets have another beer.

Not really my cup of tea, but I didn't think it was horrible.

And really, Anon needs to get a grip. OF COURSE this wouldn't happen in real life - this is Literotica. And the author did this at a friend's request, and some people totally love being a cuck. Isn't that what LW is all about?

Wow, some visceral responses - looks like this fantasy story hit a nerve. Like I said in my disclaimer, this was written at the request of a friend, and I used many specifics he wanted, and the length he wanted.

A bit Thank You to the people posting usable critiques, I'm not offended, and will take them to heart.

etchiboy: That CRT thing made me laugh!

The only issue is Marty can't complain about his wife sucking cock for a promotion when he full on fucked his sister in law.

It has happened in real life...at least once because it was me - I shared my wife with my brother (actually half brother) . He was virgin, very shy, had a GF that wanted to fuck him (was too embarrassed to admit his virginity to her as he was 27) and was clueless and very unsure of himself so my wife offered to let him watch us. A little too much alcohol and he was doing more than watching and I was having fun with it. She ended up blowing him while I did her doggie and we later switched places. He fucked her solo a few more times in the course of a week, some with me there and a time or two without me. She made him an expert on pleasing women so he was ready for the GF. It worked. They ended up getting married a few years later but as far as I know he never told her of our "tutoring"

should this be in incest/taboo?

This could have gone in a couple categories, and maybe 'group' would have had less hate, lol. The brothers didn't do anything together, so I don't see it as 'incest', and 90% of this site contains 'taboo' items :D

I chose LW because she was being a loving wife, and tried to be snarky about that part at the very end. haha... haha...

Story is done well enough. Three Stars.

As for the plot, doing your brother's wife is not the thing to do. All kinds of bad can come from that.

My younger brother lost his job due to outsourcing and moved in with the wife and I for about six months. She and he had always flirted and I asked her if she would like to do more. She admitted she thought he was hot and with my permission would love to. So she began to seduce him. First with flirting, then with wearing more revealing clothes around him, then basically letting him know it was ok to do more than fantasize. We had a long discussion about sex one night after watching a movie with a wife who had multiple lovers. This broke the ice and soon my wife was the center of both our attentions. Over the next few months we did everything that three people could do together and they even had a night or two toget while I was away. It strengthened both my relationship with my brother as well as my marriage. We are so much more open and honest with each other now.