Izzy and the Dragon Wife 01

Izzy and the Dragon Wife 01

Good morning, I am a weekender Izzy and I assure you that I am not a Dragon Wife. I mean, technically, I'm not even a Housefly Wife or anything, but I'm not Izzy for just the bedroom activity. Well, I might be the Scratching Pole Wife like the bears use to relief their back itches sometimes, but that's as far as that goes. I think.

Anyways, my story starts out with decent news, good news and the ever present, bad news and to just jump right into it, I am a pretty decent Izzy. I certainly don't have any the classic female curves like my neighbor, Mrs. Bailey, but my tiny size seems to balance all that out. I mean, when Nate catches me in the kitchen and treats me like his Scratching Pole Wife, I mean, it's alright that he humps my arm pits, right?

Which leads me to the good news, which the bad news is tagged with. But the good news is that it's been almost five weekends since I have had to endure a couple of side eyes, an eye roll or two and a firm frown from my neighbor, Mr. Bailey, as I enjoyed my Saturday morning coffee out on my deck. Now, Mr. Bailey isn't technically old enough to have a thing against a guy who enjoys his weekends dressed in drag, but I guess he just has an old soul or something. But Mr. Bailey has been gone for a while now, so I have been able to readjust to a pleasurable morning brew.

So, the bad news is that he and Mrs. Bailey have called it quits and I have experienced enough divorce in my young life to know that it's not the best of times. No matter what, no matter who did what or who said what, divorce is not the best of times. Not that I'm complaining about my peaceful weekends.

And I'm not complaining how Mrs. Bailey ventured outside a little more often too.

"Good morning, Mrs. Bailey. Such a beautiful Saturday morning, am I right, Mrs. Bailey?"

"Good morning, Izzy and indeed it is a beautiful morning. Um, Izzy, I'm not going to lie to you or try to trick you, so here, I made this coffee for you and I purposely waited for you to step out onto your deck, so."

"Well, well, well, whatever it is that you want, Mrs. Bailey, you're half way there (sip). By the way, are we saying that you're past me wearing the wrong gender of clothes then (sip)?"

"Well, that was more of an issue for the hubby, but I will clearly state that I am, I am, Izzy. I mean, as far as I can tell, you're happy and content, so live and let live, right?"

"Thank you for that, Mr. Bailey, however, before we get into what you (sip) from bringing me a coffee, say something brutely honest to me and about me as Izzy."

"Oh, um, just how brutely honest, Izzy?"

"The roomie is still sleeping, so say anything you want to."

"Ooh, um, Izzy, there is something to be said for morning hair or messy hair and your hair is always on point, so. And I mean that in the best possible way."

You know, adding "the possible way" makes it alright when one is called out for not having a sex life, right?

"Well, well, I wasn't expecting that, Mrs. Bailey, but if it ever comes to any reason to have sex hair, then I'll be sure to make it worthwhile then. Also, remind me to never ask you to be brutely honest with me in the future. So, how (sip) can I be of assistance to you, Mrs. Bailey?"

"Well Izzy, sometimes I can't help but to notice that your house is busy on some weekends and I can't help from noticing your roomie, Parker. I mean, I'm sure that he is with some of the girls that I see leaving your house sometimes, but you know, is he attached to anyone special? I mean, this might be a little forward of me, but I wouldn't mind being his Dragon Wife once in a while, so?"

"Well, I take back what I just said about you being honest and all because I really like the thoughts and idea of you being Parker's Dragon Wife from time to time, but I'll have you know that most of the girls who leave my mixers come here for me!"

LOL, those awkward moments when your neighbor is at a loss for words and she doesn't want to ruin the moment with an arm's crossed "Please!" or something, right?

"Izzy, all I'm wondering is if I wanted him to come over and check my plumbing, well, do you think he might want to rooter root my plumbing as his Dragon Wife? And by the way, please, right? And I mean that in the best way possible."

Again, with the "best way possible" thing, right? I mean, is there a magic eraser that comes with back yard conversations or something?

"Well, I like the way you say Dragon Wife, Mrs. Bailey, so if the Dragon Wife can come clean with her divorce status and all, which includes a whimpering admission that she married too young, maybe there is something that can be done."

"Fine, the court system doesn't operate at light speed, but I am officially separated and fine, yes, there should be a rule that people who are 20 shouldn't get married."

"Acceptable answers (sip), Mrs. Bailey. Anyways, all I'm saying is that the only person expected over tonight is Nate and there might be a good chance that I forget to buy fresh hamburger buns for dinner tonight and that I know how to be a distraction for Nate and I'm saying nothing more other than a 7pm knock on the front door from a certain Dragon Wife with a package of fresh buns in her hands might just work out."

Huh, the true art of the deal, right? And I don't even know where all that came from, but it came from my mouth and I guess the wheels were in motion. And by the way, I did nothing else for the rest of the day in terms of spoiling the surprise. I mean, if Parker was going to get lucky with his Dragon Wife, then that was between the two of them.

I mean, I have Parker trained enough that I'm his Roomie Wife, so I pushed the "take a shower" issue and all, but he does most things that I "suggest" to him anyways. And it's not like I planned his shower time with Nate's arrival or anything.

"Nate, what if we save some of this secret dry humping in the kitchen and wait a while?"

"Well, if I'm finally wearing you down Izzy, that's great, but Parker won't be in the shower for too much longer, so."

"Nate, what if I can almost guarantee you or us, I should say, enough alone time that I might actually have sex hair? I mean, I'll fix it right as soon as you snap one quick photo for my evidence, but what if we have solid alone time in less than one hour?"

"Well, my first thought is to call BS, but I'm listening."

"Hmmm, no listening, no questions and no talking. Just go warm up the game console and act like it's any other evening, alright Nate?"

I don't know, it seemed like things were working. LOL, what was working for sure was the adult diaper that I was wearing because I knew I was committing to, wow, some level of sex with Nate, right? Also, those "diaper" threads do nothing for me, so that was just a figure of speech.

"Burgers are smelling good, roomie! How much longer?"

"Just a few minutes, Parker, but listen, I messed up and forgot to pick up fresh buns from the store, so it looks like it's going to be cooked patties on a plate with chips tonight. Um, sorry guys. Also, answer the front door roomie."

"What? There isn't anyone at the front door and we're not expecting anyone else, so."

Knock, knock, knock.

"(Stupid fricking "I'm always right" Roomie Wife!). Oh, Mrs. Bailey! Um, wow, Mrs. Bailey in, um, Denim shorts and all???? I mean, please, come in. Um, um, roomie????"

"LOL, is there any chance that Mrs. Bailey has buns, Parker?"

"What? Like a Dragon Wife she has buns! I mean, um, um, um, the kitchen is um, somewhere, um, so the buns go, um, that way."

"I'll follow you, Parker. Oh, hello there, I'm Mrs. Bailey, well, Tara Bailey and I have much needed buns, LOL, I think."

"Ah, I'm Nate and I now understand a few things, so, so, Parker, where are your manners? Show Tara Bailey to the kitchen!"

"People! I'm plating patties in here!"

Well, I mentioned earlier that Mrs. Bailey, I mean Tara had very classical curves and all, so. I mean, classical curves that removed any doubts that she was staying for a burger, LOL, which was much more like a half of a burger, right?

"No, no, Tara, I'll clean up the plates, um, Nate has always been helpful with me, so you just sit here and find something to watch on the TV. So, Nate? Also, roomie, the TV?????"

They actually made a pretty cute couple sitting on the couch together like that, right? I mean, LOL, an aggressive Dragon Wife and a whimpering roomie couple.

"Here's my best offer, Nate. I'll put it in my mouth, but I get to use my hands as backup in case it's not as easy as T-Girls on Chang make it out to be and I get to strip down to my undies, but you don't try to put me on my back or my belly, so?"

"Well, it's not really normal to detail these things in matrix form, but I know you, so I'll even add that you are free to wiggle out of your undies, if that's where the natural movements take things."

"Well, thanks for calling me out for over thinking things, but we'll call as our time and we'll call it a tie then."

Well, what the hell did I know about the natural progression of things anyways? I mean, I have sex with a large body pillow and a banana for Pete's sakes! Not that anyone who is 20 should admit that, but I knew enough to grab a bottle of water and a kitchen hand towel as a makeshift spit kit, LOL, another thing I picked up from Chang.

And well, damn, it was easier than I could have ever imagined after the first few awkward moments.

"Hmmm."

"Nate, I promise, that was my first time. I just have a favorite video on Chang, that's all."

"Well, I was going all "hmmm" because that was great, but thanks for the info anyways, Izzy. LOL, you humped the hell out of my leg!"

"Well, that part felt natural to me, but I was a trooper, right Nate? Besides, you didn't seem to mind anyways, so."

Oh, Nate was lying about all that wonderful "hmmm" and stuff because not only did I cheat, I cheated everyway possible to the point where he finished everything, but I was still a trooper, right?

"Well Izzy, we seem to be at a decision point. Do we kick back in your bed for a while longer or do we slip back into the living room and act like nothing happened?"

"Oh, I tell can that you're ready to slip into something and congrats on that capability by the way, but we should go back in there."

Well, hells bells, right? I mean, the moment we rounded the corner and stepped into the living room, well, LOL, we could hear the sounds that a Dragon Wife makes coming from the other hallway and they didn't sound like a voice in distress, so.

"Well, I don't know, Nate."

"Oh, I know and I know those are the sounds of Dragon Wife doggie. I also know that neither of us will comfortable sitting out here and listening to that, even though I'm dropping my phone with the voice recorder turned on right here on the coffee table. And ooh, ooh, I know that I was too caught up with things for having to thrust myself into your gagging lips that we forgot to take that sex hair photo that you claim is a must for your evidence and all, so?"

Well, I could never get my body pillow into the correct position to know anything about Dragon Wife doggie, so I had to take his word for it, I guess. But that "no condoms available" was working in my favor, right? I mean, safety first and all, so.

Whish, whish, whish.

I mean, do guys just carry them around in a holster or something just in case they have the chance to throw them like Ninja stars?

"Come on, Izzy, you seemed very comfortable with me and you can lay down on that huge pillow you have on your bed, which looks suspiciously about the same size as your body. I mean, you seemed pretty comfortable with me except for when you tried to shave my legs before you had pillow sex on them."

"Well, people can only go with what they know, Nate and don't tease me."

"Ooh, Parker baby, do your Dragon Wife baby, do her like she's in her den, Parker. Um, um, well now, Parker got game, huh? Ooh, ooh, I'm with you honey, I'm ooh, ooh, ah, ah, ah, I'm with you, I'm with you, Parker. LOL, what was that, Parker? LOL, you like the way I breath fire baby? I mean, I did good today with delivering the buns, right honey? Um, um, ug, ug, ug, um, um, um, bitch, ug, ug, ug."

"OK, let's go, Nate."

I mean, I took a few notes and I'll get a copy of Nate's voice recordings later and all, but hearing it first hand was, well, it was hot. And it was so hot that my first real sex quickly turned into a 3-way with Nate on top and me in the middle and my body pillow named Nancy Jean taking it like a champ. I mean, mostly because, SOB, Nate was absolutely smashing me into Nancy Jean, but still, right?

End Izzy and the Dragon Wife 01