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All Comments on 'Jack and Phoebe Ch. 01'

by Nefari0us

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  • 3 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

Loved it, loved your style…write more please!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

Interesting premise.

The sex is too rushed, however. Much too rushed.

Four stars.

DevonadrianDevonadrianover 1 year ago

Scenes are a bit jagged and hectic. The thought process for what Tom was going through needed fleshing out more. I still have no idea what's going on.

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userNefari0us@Nefari0us
14 Stories
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A novice writer looking to get her efforts in front of people in order to improve. Constructive criticism gratefully received.

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