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Finis
This will be handled in the next, and final, part. Thank you for bearing (heh, heh) with me. We must go out of town (again), to another funeral. As they say, the hits just keep on coming.
Now, for a while, lighten up:
Barnes and Nobles recently announced that they moved all the Apocalyptic and Post-Apocalyptic literature and books into the current events section.
OOOPS!
Thank you.
- COMMENTS
RanDog0255 months agoDamn, this is the best story I've read in quite some time! Thank you. I had to clean it up but listening to it with Jennifer's voice was quite the experience. Because I taught English Lit courses in college I can't help but edit the stories but it also has to be done to listen to it in Text Aloud. This story, I will follow and if the rest of your submissions are as good as this one it'll be a joy to go through each one! 5 BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE FLAMING NOVA STARS! Again, thank you for this one.
Anonymous7 months ago"...while strung out on marijuana"?? Who has ever been "strung out" on weed? I understand the phrase to mean physically addicted. On weed? No chance.
Kahunabob7 months agoLove the humor in this series. The end of story jokes are corny as hell. So bad they've become good again. Worth a star right there. // Jack & Gloria proposing getting married within what, 2 or 3 days of knowing each other and declaring undying love for each other feels a bit too rushed.
Anonymous8 months agoReally don't know what to think about this. It's all too fast for my liking and that speed just makes it either unrealistic or headed towards an almighty impact.
Anonymous8 months ago@anon 3mnths ago. You give the impression that cops actually pull out and use their guns all the time. They don't, or at least the trained ones that aren't little girls don't. You also seem to be unaware of the incredibly high divorce rates for cops, or the even higher DV rates.
The only amazing thing about this story is that the jaded cop, and you can't be a detective without already being jaded, would take up with a woman from that side of town with that amount of baggage. Not to mention that as he was officially connected to her any sexual interaction would be viewed in a very negative light by his superiors and any judge and jury. So his little bout of white knightery already singled him out as a fairy tale and that we should suspend our disbelief.
Anonymous8 months agoPage 3 ... Who doesn't know how to spell fridge?? A frig on the other hand is a sexual act. Hardly appropriate when kids are in the same room.
Old_Lion9 months agoBear,
So sad. You CANNOT get strung out on weed. I'm a 65 yo retired Hardcore Biker who has been riding since 1969. I've met really EVIL Cops and the best of the Best Cops. So many Cops. Weed is like booze, simple, easy and seductive. I would quit smoking weed for 30 days just prove to myself I wasn't addicted. No Problems. I used a one Stage or another any drug that could be taken NON Intravenously. No freakin needles, EVER.
Anonymous9 months agoThe speed at which this relationship 'exploded' was beyond ridiculous. However, when we read about him being cucked in the next story, we'll know exactly why that happened. No good parent would get into a relationship so fast and no man would take a woman seriously if she were so fast. It reeks of potential groomer and desperation/gold digger. Neither of which are healthy grounds for starting a relationship.
A great shame really because the bones of the story and the writing are both good.
Anonymous10 months agoI liked it and gave it 5 stars. While the beginning was like a normal "cheating wife" story found in this section, after meeting Gloria seemed to change him and he showed her there are good guys out there. Yes, some of it might have been over the top, but not any more that other stories in this forum. Not to mention she's already met most of his family, so she knows what she's getting into.
Anonymous10 months agoEngaged in like 48 hours? Some of the dialog snd side commentary was funny. But really 2 or 3 days?
sbrooks103x11 months ago"the screws were turned. Slightly. Legally, but slightly." - Legally BUT slightly?
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I don't know why being served at work would embarrass her. After the way she acted at the party, her affair surely was no secret.
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35 mph school zone? Here they're more like 20-25.
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"a woman's best smile" - Is this a "Feb. Sucks" reference?
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"she managed to get her former employer to give her a good recommendation." - Since THEY'RE hiring her, what do they care about the recommendation?
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@Anonymous Re: More expensive items - Where do you see him expecting her to pay for them?
KRD1925411 months agoA little over dramatic engagement, but semi-understandable due to an overly excited future son and his lone-ranger dad. But asking her to marry after what four days of meeting??? He was still recovering from an unfaithful bimbo to jump into the fire of commitment this fast with a pre-made family, recipe for heartbreak for the kids if it folds.
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What the hell did this Eulogy have to Jack's story other than to distract and confuse the reader?
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3.9* hooyah but for the distraction
Anonymous11 months agoGreat enthusiasm, but you need A Lot more experience. Too wordy, pedantic, and contrived. He's not just a cop, but a detective. Uh, I think, maybe, he's supposed to have some instincts, some discernment, about people, their character, their substance, their Tells? But his wife fucked him over, for months if not years, held him in complete contempt and disrespect, And He Had No Clue? But all his family did, but they just kept quiet. Complete bullshit.
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The new wife will soon figure out that this guy is deaf, dumb, and blind. She should steer him to private security work, 'cause he's gonna get capped as a cop. When the grocery store thug pulled out a knife, THEN he went to pull out his gun? No, too slow. The knife thrust is Much faster than retrieving a gun from a holster. Yeah, he should become some kind of corporate security consultant, he'll live a lot longer. And he might even keep this wife, if Santos doesn't find and kill her first.
Anonymous11 months agoA good fairytale, more of a romance or a novel, than a LW tale. The MC seems a bit retarded about other people feeling, somehow apathic, anf he keeps alternating his behaviour from the tough guy to the childish whining one. Another critique, is about the too many useless details in totally irrilevant activities when he was at his home, that make those parts really boring. Anyway, the story is getting better from the first part, and we hope the third part will be even better. So, for this second episode, of this not much believable fairytale, I give you 5* ! Keep going.
muskyboy11 months ago"Barnes and Nobles recently announced that they moved all the Apocalyptic and Post-Apocalyptic literature and books into the current events section." - Hahaha, made this story just a little bit better, thanks! 5/5
