All Comments on 'Jacob's Progress'

I gave it a five. You stretched yourself and wrote a serious story. Well done. You had a nice beginning and a nice ending. The romance was a bit thin, but hey, it's a short story. Write another, please, Randi.

Really loved the story, it was very beautifully written and very believable that could have happened in real life. I am glad that Paula and Lucia became friends again through all of the issues that they have been through. Keep writing, thank you for sharing the story.

@blackrandl1958 - thank you. I liked the characters, and developed a bit of a girl crush on Lucia (which no doubt comes across). I wanted to write more. But was conscious of just having finished a 60k word trilogy and wanted to do something shorter. Em

@wwaldrip - thank you for the kind and encouraging words 😊.

Well done.

Great writing, really enjoyed that, just superb, thank you.

@300WSM - thank you for saying 😊. Em

@JimmyThePlunger - that is very kind of you, thank you 😊 Em

This is one of those stories that I started out loving, then thought I was going to hate about halfway through, only to love it again by the end. People (Jacob included) acted badly, but not cartoonishly so, and their motivations made sense, and I do enjoy a good redemption arc. 5*

I enjoyed the read very much, nice tale. I'm going to check out All of your stories.

You build depth into your characters. I like that

The story pulled me in and it flowed quickly. The “I love you let’s get married” bit was jarring and abrupt but you patched that in the epilogue. At the end I half expected Lucia to invite Paula for a threesome. That would have been fun.

@Dreddras - I tried to make it not too melodramatic - wanted it to be believable - Em

@mikeyjb51 - thank you - I write a vey wide range of stuff, so not all of it may be to your taste - Em

@lc69hunter - thank you, hun 😊. Em

@MajorRewrite - my beta reader pulled me up on that (before I had written and shared the epilogue). I did walk it back, but I’m an incurable romantic at heart. Buried deep under the kinkier stuff I know 😬. Em

Wonderfully written. You captured a nice ranged of emotions and human stupidity as they reacted just like we all do with too little information. It had great highs and lows following along growth, development, and recovery. A great read.

Well written and original.

Most stories nowadays seem like Rip Offs.

@DeepTrance3 - you are very kind to say so - thank you - Em

@MightyHeart - thank you. That’s lovely of you to say. Em

I enjoyethey worked out fine.d the read. The timing on the romances seemed quick, but

@Dittybopper6989 - as mentioned by another commenter, it’s a short story. I kinda wanted to expand it a bit. My original idea was that the events took six months to a year. But I had just written a 60k word story and felt like doing something crisper. Em

First of your works I have read. It was a very well done story. Looking forward to more.

@woodward - thank you, but caveat lector - I write a whole range of stuff, some much less vanilla than this. Em

My first read of one of your stories and I am impressed. Well thought out and written, I will check your other stories in file and look forward to your future postings. Thanks.

@BigJohn601 - thanks, hun. At the risk of being a cracked record. I write in a lot of styles and you may not like all of them. Look at the category and tags first. Em

I liked it, it was a hard read in places with broken lives. I like how the love for their children brought all 3 together and a friendship was restored. The justice side of me would like to see the evil 'husbands' in jail with Bubba meeting out punishment.

5 stars and an add. Andy

Enjoyed it. I think the aftermath of "sharing" was fairly depicted. Humans are complicated, very few are able to completely separate emotions from sex, so "it was just sex," is almost never true. This is the first of your works I have read, I'll need to explore more of your writing. Thanks for sharing.

@naughtyandy4u - thank you. I went for revenge being getting on with their lives without the two perps. Just a choice. Em

@Regguy69 - thank you. I was trying to be realistic. Just a warning not all my work is realistic - much of it involves space octopuses. Em

…this story finished really well. Started kind of slow but picked up nicely. Excellent dialogue between Lucia and Jacob and then Paula at the end. Five stars for sure.

Good story and well written. Thanks for sharing.

@gatorhermit - I like wine 😬. I often leap into things. Just trying something diffeent. Em

@ibuguset - thanks for being kind enough to say so. Em

Well done!

@peyskip - thank you 😊

A simply superbly crafted story. I shall now set about some of your other works. Thank you. G

@Highpike - thank you 😊. Again, not all my work is in the vein. Em

Good story, good twist, good sex, good resolution. What more can one ask for (besides actual good sex and a good bottle of wine)?

I especially your voice and your care and respect for your readers (editing, pace, lack of "generous endowments", "36DD"...). Just a solid good read about believable characters that we can care about.

Am so glad to start following you, and to catch up with what you have already written.

Thanks for sharing your gift(s)!

Wow, I REALLY loved that story. Thank you.

@JusteenK - very happy you loved it 😊

@SeaReader - thank you 🙏. Same caveat, I write on all sorts of categories, so please choose wisely. Em

Well, that was different. Not what one generally finds in this category but nonetheless was well done and a good read plus enjoyable. Thanks for sharing. 😊😊😊😊😊.

@LaneBaggins - I was trying to be different, but not as different as my first attempt at the category.

Em

You have skills as a storyteller. This was a good one. 5* from me.

So, most of your other stuff pretty much like this, or...?

(Just kidding! Incredibly real. I do think it's your best yet. I might have gotten a little something in my eye toward the end there.)

((Not the yellow jacket I was thinking of))

Interesting tale. Flow and s kind of uneven and some real no sequeters. The biggest one is the 180 degree change from distaste to the I love you statements between Lucia and Jacob. No foreshadowing.just bam it’s there. I as a reader stopped right there flabbergasted, scratching my head, saying WTF? This is the big declaration, the denouement, the climax point upon which the whole story logic hinges… and it is dropped in our laps like an stillborn child. In short it makes no sense This in turn causes a fatal disconnect. The reader must stop and use their own common sense to bridge this illogical gap. As such the author fails to convince the reader to properly suspend disbelief.

The story though has good bones so

4 stars

I enjoyed that. Many th

The "love" part came a bit quickly, but otherwise a very nice tale. Thank you.

Emily,

I think this is a beautifully written story. Your writing style is engaging and you develop your characters as you move your story along. Thank you for sharing this tale. It's a winner.

All the best,

Dave

Havre de Grace, MD

damn that was good. Logged in just to say it! Keep writing. I dont often read 5 page stories. Totally worth it.

Different and well written, rather atypical for literotica. I look forward to more of your work.

That was an interesting story, a romance which grew out of the personal tragedies of several people. 5*.

Wonderfully done, some parts a bit rushed but overall wonderful work. Thank you for your writing. 5 stars of course.

I liked it even though it went off in a direction I didn't expect.

This is the first of your stories i have read, now i am on to the next one.

Really enjoyed the story. Hard hitting in places and so many topics covered! Really well written 👏

For a soap opera it wasn't bad; Paula's character doesn't ring true. Loyal wife, great mother, good friend, but is still a liar and a total hypocrite? And, here's where a male writer differs from a female: how does Ed, that despicable rapist and cheater, still have the use of all his limbs, even his 'third leg'?? Nope, needs to be a little more retribution there. But, enjoyed it.

way better than the tentacle stuff, so there's that.

I enjoyed this quite a bit more than I expected to. You write very well, and even when I didn’t find the characters very appealing I was able enjoy the overall story you told.

Well written!

@26thNC - the MMC and co-FMC are meant to be broken and doing dumb / mean things. Neither is meant to be themselves for much of the story. Em

@BuzzCzar - thank you for saying so 😊

@djrip - I want to do a Yellowjackets fan-fic, or I did before the season 2 finale. Em

@Shepard_N7 - thank you 🙏. Em

@BlueDru - it’s kinda funny. While there are some elements of my own experience dotted around (as with any author), the one actual IRL event that inspired me was a friend of my boyfriend who explained why he married his [doctor] second wife. It was along the lines of “well look at her, and she saved my son’s life”. Jacob isn’t based on him, but it made me think about the power exerted on a parent by saving their child. He said it was whirlwind and that what happened with his son was part of that, it was so emotional. So actually the thing which some (perfectly reasonably are saying is unrealistic) is based more on fact than the rest of the story. And I did walk it back a bit in the Epilogue. Em

Really well written and engaging story, but we never see the part of the story where Jacob confesses he's been regularly fucking Paula or him confronting Paula with the "rest of the story" she left out. 4* overall!

@IrishLaddy59 - thank you 🙏 . Em

@Tomh1966 - very glad you liked it 😊

@Mrfriendly8181 - thank you, I hope I don’t disappoint. Em

@MattblackUK - thank you for saying so 😊. Em

@MsDirector - thank you. I’d just written a 60k word story and - tempting as it was - I didn’t want this one to grow arms and legs. Em

@DessertMan - thank you. I write a lot of different stuff, so I hope you find something else to like. Em

@NorthernCardinal - thank you for saying 😊. Em

@Frank66 - I guess I’m a bit like Lucia in the story (in this one way, she’s not me in disguise, though I am also a runner). I at least hope that the best “revenge” is to find happiness in your own life. Em

@Demosthenes384bc - was trying to come in under 20k words. Also, I really wanted the end to be Lucia and Paula. To an extent - and despite the title and the narrator - it’s their story. Jacob is a kind of catalyst. That’s why I let Lucia tell the end of it. Em

This was a great story and beautifully written. I couldn't put it down. I liked the bit of mystery as to what was going on. I'm always a sucker for such things. Nevertheless, it surprised me to find it all out, even with the hints you left. Five stars, obviously! ~~JB

This price was really well written. The characters were believable and the story flowed. Thank you for posting this and sharing with us.

Well written...great story with good characters. Glad I ran across this one.

Wow! Really a great story. Character development was great. You didn't really telegraph the direction the story would take until just before you made the turn. You made the animosity between the women very obvious, but Lucia and her husband sharing was a surprise with Paula and Ed was the big surprise, that wasn't seen. It was good that at the end both Lucia and Paula were able to see that they were the victims of two lying manipulative low life's. I think you kind of shot yourself in the foot by trying to keep the story under 20,000 words. It's obvious that Paula used Jacob to get back at Lucia. That could have been explored a little more. This was really good for only your second LW story. I hope you will add some more entries in the LW section. 5-stars even with a few type-o's and grammatical errors.

Nicely written! You did a great job through Jacobs eyes exposing the story of Paula and Lucia. All three are dealing with loss, albeit different types, and the pain is expressed realistically. Jacob in trying to recover from his grief, Paula with her demons, and Lucia with the tough exterior who had been gutted.

The story moved, the writing was clean and crisp and the dialog was well done. One of the reasons this worked is there is real feeling and emotion.

@JBEdwards - thank you for the kind comment 😊 Em

@TwistedWrench - thank you for the encouraging feedback 😊. Em

@Techimsah - thank you so much 😊. Em

@JustOneMansOpinion - thank you. I loved the characters, but tried to limit how much I played with then. Em

@njlauren - thank you so much 😊. Em

Revelatory. Helluva tale, and beautifully written. Well rendered characters. You packed a lot in very few words. Thanks very much.

I have found a new favorite author. Very professionally done and I enjoyed it very much.

Very good story, you weaved an engaging and emotional tale without being overbearing, thanks for sharing!

FYI…5***** , I loved the opening paragraph. Straight ahead, BANG!

DazzyD

As others have said, you write very well. This was a very clean, enjoyable to read story, The thing that threw me off a little was how much attention Jacob payed to the styles of the ladies. "Paula was waiting outside the restaurant in a long, floral summer dress in pale peach." and "Paula was wearing a high waisted, mid-length, light blue dress dotted with faded white patches. It buttoned up the front, the top four left strategically unfastened." I have been told men seldom write effectively from a woman's POV, which is probably right much of the time. You did write effectively from a man's point of view, but I would suggest your male characters be less knowledgeable and interested in the style and color hues of women's clothes. It may be that I am a caveman, but most guys I know do notice how great a woman looks but seldom realizes that a woman is wearing a floral dress in pale peach. You certainly have talent and I add my request that you post more often in this chaotic category. Well done.

Very good story, the front half of the story " the build up" very good rhythm. "The climax" was a little rushed as to why the emotional change. The resolution was at light speed. The epilog as a means of wrapping up you story is a cheat. The exception would be if the progression was over a long period of time. I enjoyed reading you story and look forward to your next entry. 4

@Chuck100 - this is a repost of something I wrote before >>> it’s kinda funny. While there are some elements of my own experience dotted around (as with any author), the one actual IRL event that inspired me was a friend of my boyfriend who explained why he married his [doctor] second wife. It was along the lines of “well look at her, and she saved my son’s life”. Jacob isn’t based on him, but it made me think about the power exerted on a parent by saving their child. He said it was whirlwind and that what happened with his son was part of that, it was so emotional. So actually the thing which some (perfectly reasonably) are saying is unrealistic, is based more on fact than the rest of the story. And I did walk it back a bit in the Epilogue. Em

@johntcooksey - thank you so much 😊. Em

@Cracker270. -that’s super sweet of you 😊. Em

@ImNotanAnon - very kind of you to say so 😊. Em

@DazzyD - thanks. I often have slow starts. Trying to be punchier. 😊. Em

@Harddaysknight - I’ve been told before that I write girlie-men. I don’t agree that emotional men = girlie-men, but yeah maybe I should not focus on clothes so much 😬. Either that or start writing gay men! Em

Em, thank you. You brought tears, twice. A compelling read. I can feel the characters and easily visualize the settings. Your style has matured so, so much in the short time you have been on LitE. Thank you again for a great story. Keep it up.

@MrPixel - oh, hun! Thank you 🤗🤗🤗. Em

Really enjoyed this, didn't see the twist in plot.

BTW, suppressing emotion is what makes men mentally ill, I think Jacob was an excellent character.