by Momstheboss
Really enjoyed this one very much ( not because I have a x-wife named Jan though.!** ) lol Lets just say it was different in a good way and more or less something that I might even do at the right time & place in my world.^ hehe
You got a "4" from me an well deserved at that.! Thx.
The potential for a good story is there. Concept is good but your writing needs some polish - an editor would be a really, really good idea. Your grammar, word usage, and form needs a lot of work. As written the errors are a huge distraction.
I could not get past the first few paragraphs because of the horrible spelling and grammar. Please get an editor.
I am amazed how many people who have not even published anything here try to tell author how he should write.
I'm a stickler for good grammar, and you could use an editor. But, in this instance, I looked past that because I can relate to the story. I'm 71. My wife is a Peggy when it comes to sex. She can do without it. So, if I outlive her, I hope someday to find my own Jan and can feast on pussy before fucking her. Good story. Thanks!
Criticize people who leave comments for not publishing a story.