All Comments on 'Jason's Adventure Ch. 01'

Keep going .

The world you've layed out has a lot of potential and it reads well, I hope you keep at it because I want more. Peace!

But you really need a proofreader, not for misspelled words but wrong words.

For example:

Bread is something you eat.

Breed is making offspring.

Nice opening for a new world & interested in how you proceed . Like an earlier poster remarked it would be a good idea to get an editor to help especially since it's your first attempt .

ps give Jason a break..he lost an inch of cock in a couple of sentences :) (from 9 to 8)

There are a few typos here and there, but you have a well established back story and you are off to a good start! Keep going!

it would be interesting to see how this story develops. i think that you have done a good job on it so far, although like some of the other comments about the typos and the loss of an inch. lol it is still a good read

I stopped reading before end of first page. Way too many misspelled or misused words..

I enjoyed the story from beginning to end. Excellent job. Thank you.

The men in these kind of story are always cowardly and always obedient were you read one you've read them all,kinda boring,you do have talent so keep on writing.