Jay's Loelife Ch. 20

Lore sighs and sits back in his chair. "Isaac saw him over the summer, at the open practice. Nothing since then though...that we know about."

"That's two sightings," Corey points out.

Isaac nods, conceding to Corey's point. "We need to be prepared."

We sit for an hour while they talk through it. Corey and Isaac are the perfect combination of being aware of Loren's history/trauma, his emotional needs, but also understanding that there needs to be some preparation. Hypothetically seeing Lars after all these years will probably be different from actually meeting him.

I give them the license plate number in case they want to track him down. They take it but I get the distinct impression it will get trashed as soon as this conversation is over.

Corey and Isaac leave just after ten. Despite having to work early, I stay. Loren's quiet, but he doesn't stray too far as we get ready for bed.

"What can I do?" I ask as I make sure he's good and comfortable, tucked in nicely with me pressed against his side.

He rolls on his side, facing me, and sighs. It's a content sigh, kind of strange considering everything happening. He pushes his boxers down and grins. "A blow job would be nice."

I smile and move down his body. "I was thinking more along the lines of emotional support, but if this is what you need..."

****

From the screen in the locker room, I watch Loren pre-gaming. He's the best hype man. No one knows how to work a crowd quite like he does. Seeing him decked out in my gear--my number--my stomach flutters. From stylish winter beanie to specialized kicks. If he was good looking before, he's downright sinful all marked up. CAUTION: I'M TAKEN

The game hasn't even started and the air is electric. From the breezeway to the field, I watch Loren being brought down to the field where he and Blitz do cartwheels. A little friendly competition that quickly escalates into some serious mat work. After Blitz does some fancy flip, Loren waves a white flag. He can't possibly top that. Halfway back to the stands, Loren stops and runs back, doing some backflip combination that has the crowd for both teams going wild. I don't know why I'm shocked, of course Loren can do backflips. With a twist.

As Garrett, Shawn, Marcus, and I enter the field, I know we're going to win. You can feel it sometimes, when the team is vibin'. It's that feeling that makes our entrance more electric than ever. Three and half hours later it's an electric storm as the fireworks explode and confetti rains down.

The field is total chaos. With the help of Garrett and Shawn, I recorded a record number of sacks. I'm shoved around for interviews.

Loren rarely comes to the field, opting to finish tailgating with whoever scored the tickets. That's his job, I get it, so when I see him standing there, surrounded by all the people, I can't move. He smiles like he knows this moment couldn't get any better. And it can't.

Bypassing one camera, I jog to him, grabbing him by the thighs and hoisting him up so he's around my waist. "Best way to end the season is right here."

He wraps his arms around my neck. "You worked hard."

Cameras from the media and fans alike circle us. Football's only 'out' player kissing his boyfriend on the field after the SuperBowl win? A first.

He continues to stare at me. "No one is more deserving of this win than you."

"I wasn't talking about the win. I was talking about you."

Loren rolls his eyes so hard it has to hurt his head. "Look who's trying to get a good, sappy quote in the paper."

"Don't think I don't see your secret spy of a cameraman," I say, nodding my chin towards Isaac, who's not too far away with his phone pointed at us. "You can thank me later for the ratings."

Loren glances at his secret spy and laughs. As a distraction, he kisses me.

We're surrounded, everyone trying to find that perfect shot. I spin slowly, putting on a show before letting him slide down my body. I wrap my arm around him and pose properly. When the photo op wraps up, I pull Loren around the field. I refuse to let go of his hand, even during interviews. I don't know if I'll win again before I retire, so I want him here.

Gary, my favorite correspondent from ESPN, grins widely, happy for such a rare interview. He shoves the mic in Loren's face. "We have to know. What do you think was Jay's most notable play out there today?"

Loren looks at him and laughs. "The one where he did the thing with the ball? Or the one where he hugged the other team's quarterback until they fell on the ground?"

Gary throws his head back and laughs. He turns to me. "You make it a habit of hugging quarterbacks?" he asks, trying and absolutely failing to hold back his amusement.

"Every chance I get."

Loren's quote makes every article the next day. I have a feeling hugging the quarterback is about to become my new slogan...when I'm not doing the thing with the ball.

The winning team takes turns spending the day with the Lombardi. I try to get Loren to do it with me, but he refuses.

"I feel like people who care about the Lamborghini trophy--"

"Lombardi."

"Lavardi," he mocks. He thinks he's funny.

I glare at him and his smart face. "I hate you."

"Which is why I shouldn't spend the day with you and the Lugarda."

****

He spends the day with me and the Lombardi. We spend the day filming funny videos with the trophy. He's creative in a way that I adore, so I let him do whatever he wants. Professionally, there's no downside. Personally, there's no downside.

The rest of the week is nothing but traveling for interviews, photoshoots, and guest appearances but it's okay, because the first two weeks of February will be Loren and I at an undisclosed location that David, the master of secrecy, has carefully arranged.

I have never had less privacy than I've had since dating Loren. I enjoy it, wouldn't trade it for the world. It's great. Better than great. Loren is truly something special. He's a mixed bag. Sometimes it's like eating skittles and getting a sour patch. The few guys I dated were easy. I guess that's why they didn't work out. There was never a challenge. I'm not saying Loren's a challenge, but he keeps me on my toes. He makes me feel like a million bucks one minute, then makes me realize I can be better the next.

But with the season over, every fiber of my being needs to be cut off from the rest of the world.

****

"Are you saying we can't snowboard until you retire?" Loren asks twice since we started the hot and terribly humid hike. Loren wanted to spend two weeks at a ski lodge. David couldn't arrange that given my contractual restrictions. Instead, we're in Costa Rica, hiking our third mountain in five days.

"Pretty much."

"What else aren't you allowed to do?"

"Rock climbing."

Loren steps over the large tangle of roots that stretch across the path. "Then why the hell aren't we snowboarding right now? You already broke the contract."

"Because I'm not trying to impress you anymore."

Loren huffs. "When are you retiring?"

"I have one more season on my contract. They're pushing for an extension, but...nothing is official," I say carefully, wanting to make sure he understands everything clearly.

The trail narrows. I slow and let Loren lead. He's wearing a cut off tee and athletic shorts that are both short and hug his thighs, distracting me as his legs flex. He's all sunned up, a colorful headband keeping the sweat from his eyes. When the pathway widens, he slows until I'm by his side once more.

He grabs my hand. "You think you'll extend?"

"I always thought I would, but now I'm not so sure."

"Oh." He looks surprised. "I don't want you to retire because of me."

"That seems like the best reason there is. I've loved football with everything in me, but it's changed. I've never dreaded the schedule like I did this last year. I hated away games. I hated getting on the plane and leaving you."

We walk in silence. I can tell he's in his head. This is the sour patch part of Loren. I give him time to over analyze the situation.

"I didn't say I was going to retire," I assure him. "But this is a conversation I'd like to revisit with you, maybe when you've had more time to think about it. I can always sign a one or two-year extension if I need."

"Just feels like a big step. What are you going to do? Follow me around all the time?"

"I could be your personal cameraman. I'm pretty good at it."

Loren blows out air. "That would be a lot of togetherness."

I roll my eyes and keep hiking. Sometimes he likes to play a game where he pretends like we aren't in a deeply committed relationship. Like he doesn't have the key to my house and I don't have the key to his. Like we don't spend every available moment together. Like David and Jason don't share our calendars.

"It would make commuting a lot easier," I reason, grinning slightly. I can't help it, I kind of like push, push, pushing. He can't stay in his comfort zone forever. "Maybe we could even move in together."

He trips over himself.

"Oh, and Momma called and said she can't wait to meet you in April."

Loren looks like I just whipped him with a commitment switch. "Jesus Christ, Jay."

"What?" I ask innocently. "There's no holiday, no ulterior motive. It's been eighteen months. I want my parents to meet the love of my life."

The view from the top of the mountain is stunning. Lush green vegetation as far as the eye can see. Loren puts his hands on his head and stares at the best views Costa Rica has to offer. Eventually, he turns around, his anxious brown eyes find mine. "I'll go with you."

We finish the hike with very little conversation. Loren tosses his water bottle in the back seat of the rental cruiser, then settles in the driver's seat. "Next time, don't come at me from all angles. I mean, fuck. One thing at a time, ok?"

"All angles?"

"Retirement, moving in together," he says, emphasizing the living arrangements thing like it's a curse word. Then slowly, and with great deliberation, adds, "Meeting your parents..."

"Sometimes you have to throw a bunch of stuff against the wall so one of them sticks."

Loren's mouth drops when he realizes he just got played like a blitz on third down with two to go.

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