Jean: The Box Cutter Murders Ch. 08

I moved back to my mom's place in Ithaca. I got a job at the local hospital as a clerical worker in the laboratory. I made friends with some of the younger people in the hospital. On Friday nights we would go to the Salty Dog by the Ithaca harbor and dance to live bands until the bar closed. I got friendly with the bartender, and after a month Mike asked me out. My mom liked Mike because he was gregarious and always made her feel special. He made me feel special too. He was decent in bed, and the free drinks were a big plus in covering up my depression.

Mike came from an old Ithaca family, and they owned an estate along the western shore of Lake Cayuga. The estate included a small cottage and boathouse on the waterfront. During my first summer after leaving college, we would go sailing on our days off. We smoked weed constantly and didn't have a care in the world. I began to think that I could spend the rest of my days gliding through life with Mike. After Barry's involvement with every cause in the world, Mike's complete lack of concern was liberating.

That Fall, Mike's grandmother died. As the family matriarch, she had controlled every aspect of her children's lives. The estate was burdened with debt. Mike's share of the estate was limited to the cottage. He had to sell the boat to pay back taxes. Mike was devastated at the loss of his grandmother's guidance. He lacked any normal life skills beyond bartending. I knew we were in trouble when he turned to me for direction in his life.

When he found me incapable of providing the guidance he needed, he turned to the Baby Guru. Mike showed me colorful holy cards with pictures of a fat young boy sitting on a golden throne. Mike informed me the Baby Guru was the twenty-ninth reincarnation of an Indian holy man dating back to the Buddha. The man, who I planned to marry, wanted me to come with him to meet the guru at an ashram in Washington, DC. Mike was going to stay at the ashram most of December. He wasn't sure when or even if he would return.

I told him I needed the money I earned at the hospital to pay off my college loans. I wished him well at the ashram. In my head, I thought he and his stupid Baby Guru were fools. I had never had any luck in my life receiving guidance from anyone.

With Mike chasing spiritual salvation in Washington, I was left on my own for Christmas. I was invited to a holiday party by my friend Peggy, who worked with me at the hospital. She told me she was living with a physics graduate student and he was inviting some of his friends from Cornell. I must have been desperate to get out of my mother's house because I accepted.

The night of the party, I bought a jug of chilled wine and hiked up the hill to college town. I was friendly with a couple of my co-workers from the hospital, but I wasn't sure either of them would be at the party. I figured I could hang out with Peggy if she weren't too busy playing hostess. The thought of partying with a bunch of nerds from Cornell was unappealing. At least I could get drunk. I got there at the same time my friend Tom, from the hospital arrived. I hung up my coat and gave Tom a hug. It wasn't a big party. The small apartment already held a dozen guests when I arrived. Peggy introduced me to her boyfriend, Ralph, who was standing by a table covered with bottles of beer, wine, and bowls of appetizers.

I had eaten dinner with my mom, so I filled a big glass from my jug of wine. I scanned the room and overheard a conversation about cross-country skiing. I had been downhill skiing since junior high school and had recently read an article about how cross-country skiing was becoming popular. I was intrigued enough to join the conversation.

I introduced myself, and the three guys eagerly described the joys of cross-country skiing. They were an odd lot and looked like typical Cornell hippies. One of them was a massive dark-haired biochemist. The second was a short, scrawny Jewish kid from the school of Industrial Relations. The third one was just a little taller than average and a physics grad student. All of them were several years older than me, and they were all serious students at Cornell. We chatted about skiing and drank my jug of wine. The party ran down, and I headed for home around 1 AM.

A couple of days later, Peggy told me one of the guys at the party had asked for my number. She said the guy thought I was dating Tom since we had arrived at the same time. She said the guy was relieved when she told him Tom was gay. Peggy said she didn't mention my bartender boyfriend since she had listened to me complain daily about Mike's infatuation with his guru. She said it was my decision if the guy called.

So, I wasn't surprised when I got a phone call a couple of days later. The caller introduced himself as Steve. He reminded me of our conversation about cross-country skiing at Peggy's party. He invited me over to his apartment for dinner on Friday night. He said his roommate and his date would also be there. He told me if I could bring a pair of hiking shoes, he would see if he could fit them to an extra pair of cross-country skis he owned. I have no idea why I agreed to come over. Maybe I was intrigued by his off the wall invitation.

After I hung up, I realized I didn't even know which of the three grad students Steve was. Peggy wasn't much help either since she had never met any of her boyfriend's fellow grad students before the party. She promised to ask her boyfriend, but sure enough, she forgot. Friday at work I reminded her to check with her boyfriend. I still had no idea who Steve was by the time I set out to his apartment. I could always claim I had a headache and leave early if my blind date didn't work out.

I climbed a couple of flights of stairs and knocked on Steve's door. I was pleased to find out Steve was the middle-sized grad student. He offered me a glass of French wine while he put the finishing touches on dinner. His roommate Jim showed up with his date, Susie. Jim pulled out a joint and passed it around after we sat down to eat. Over dinner, I learned that Susie was a married woman, and she was very vocal about her dissatisfaction with her husband. After dinner, Jim and Susie disappeared into Jim's bedroom.

I tried to ignore Susie's loud vocalization of her mounting passion while Steve fit my hiking boots to a pair of cross-country skis. I was amused that the skis used cable bindings like my old downhill skis. I found myself agreeing to go cross-country skiing with him the next day. I thanked him for dinner and agreed to meet at noon.

We skied for a couple of hours at Connecticut Hill, a wildlife management area south of Ithaca. It was an overcast day, and Steve said it was a perfect blue wax day. The trail led up the hill through a dense pine forest. Of course, that meant we had to ski back down to get to the parking lot. Skiing back in our old tracks helped because the cross-country skis provided far less control than my downhill skis. Steve said he was impressed with my stamina and by the fact I never fell once. I had a blast.

Of course, we ended up at his apartment for another dinner cooked by Steve. I must admit I was impressed by a guy who can cook well. It helped that I had worked up a massive appetite. A shared joint and a glass of wine made the meal outstanding.

Unfortunately, Jim and Susie showed up while we were eating an apple pie Steve had baked. They managed to say hello before heading to Jim's bedroom. Once again, we were treated to the sounds of Jim fucking his noisy girlfriend. I took it as my cue to head home. Steve walked me down to my car and gave me a tentative kiss.

I said, "I like you, Steve, but I want to know you better before we start a physical relationship. Is it OK if we wait a bit? I think it's confusing enough just getting to know someone."

I watched Steve closely. His face betrayed a range of emotions as he considered my request. The early 70's was the time of free love, and I doubt he was used to waiting for sex. I thought about his roommate and Susie noisily going at it in the bedroom next to his. I imagine the loud sex was having an impact on Steve's libido. I became more nervous as I waited for Steve's response.

Finally, Steve smiled and said, "Jean, that's an interesting proposal. I like you too, and I think I can wait while we get to know each other."

Mike returned from his pilgrimage to the Baby Guru the following week. I realized I wasn't over Mike, and I wasn't sure where things were headed with Steve. Neither of them was too pleased when I suggested I would date them on alternate weekends. Mike got the first weekend after he got back.

The next weekend with Steve, we went to a foreign movie on campus on Saturday. Afterwards, we went to the coffee house in Anabel Taylor Hall. We listened to folk music and talked about the movie over coffee. I was overjoyed to find out Steve was also fond of movies. I could barely get Mike to go to the latest action film. On Sunday, we went cross country skiing again. I found out Steve was six years older than me. I found it hard to believe a grad student would be interested in a college dropout. What did I have to offer other than my body? What would happen when he got bored with me?

Neither of the guys was happy about sharing me. My plan to get to know Steve before we got physical wasn't working well either. The third weekend with Steve, we slept together. He was enthusiastic, but I was going to have to train him. For all his smarts, Steve was unaware of the female anatomy and was clueless about the female orgasm. I found myself keeping score of Mike and Steve's qualifications.

After a couple of months, I was still having trouble deciding between the two men. I had bought Steve a copy of Joy of Sex, and he was thrilled the first time he brought me to an enjoyable orgasm. It turned out I didn't need to choose. Mike gave everything he owned to the Baby Guru and moved to the ashram in Washington, DC. Steve accepted a position at Cornell as a postdoc so he could stay in Ithaca, and we could get to know each other further.

Steve encouraged me to go back to college. My mom had retired from teaching at the high school and was now working at the Cornell Alumni Office. I qualified for free tuition at Cornell, and I enrolled as a psychology major. My last year at Cornell I moved in with Steve. I applied to the Cornell Law School but failed to get accepted. My spotty undergraduate record didn't help. So much for free tuition.

I got accepted at Temple Law School in Philadelphia. My mom pushed me to go to Temple despite the cost and offered financial support. Steve told me I would hate myself if I didn't go to law school. He also said there were no jobs for him in Philadelphia and the postdoc position was a dead end. He announced that at the end of the summer, he planned to accept a job at a research laboratory in Los Angeles, California.

I was in shock. I had thought Steve, and I would be together forever. Steve then made everything a hundred times worse. After he played the Mamas and the Papas' "California Dreaming," he made a joke about wanting to date hot California girls. I didn't talk to him for days. When we parted ways, we had come to the understanding that we were both free to date other people. Steve promised to call me when he got settled.

When he didn't call for three months, I thought we were through. I was surprised when he finally called. He said the job offer had fallen through and he had spent the last three months depressed while he searched for a job. He finally found an advantageous position at a research laboratory in Palo Alto.

After the first call, we talked most weekends. Our chats gave me the feeling his plan to date hot California girls wasn't going well. Halfway through my first year at law school, Steve invited me to come out and visit.

I wanted to stay for the summer, but Steve could only get a couple of weeks' vacation. He had been made a program manager and had to spend the rest of the summer at an Air Force Laboratory near Fort Walton Beach in Florida.

Fortunately, the short vacation with Steve left me with time to visit relatives in Southern California. I had gone home after my first year of law school to visit my Mom before heading to California. While I was home, I found some old letters in the attic while looking for wearable clothes. The old yellowed letters were addressed to my mom. Evidently, I had an aunt living in Southern California who no one in the family talked about. I arranged to visit my aunt after I saw Steve. I'll tell you about that episode in my life in another story.

For fifteen days, Steve and I had a wonderful time fucking at scenic spots all over the San Francisco Bay area. I have fond memories of sitting naked on the balcony of his apartment drinking Chateau Montelena Chardonnay and eating cracked crab and sourdough bread. I was surprised when Steve called me his sweet little nymphomaniac. It seemed he was keeping score. We had sex seventy-nine times in in those wonderful fifteen days. Nothing like sex to fix a relationship.

I got an intern position near Steve after my second year of law school. I was providing legal support to inmates at the Santa Clara County Jail. I felt overwhelmed. Most of the inmates spoke broken English, and the system seemed designed to process people as fast as possible with little regard for guilt or innocence. I spent too much of my time with Steve complaining about my job.

The only positive result from working with inmates was the experience led to an internship offer from Professor Williams. My position at Temple dealt with death row inmates. I was reluctant to accept the offer since it sounded even worse than the one at the Santa Clara County Jail. I only accepted the position when he offered me two credit hours. I needed the two credits in addition to passing Contract Law to graduate. If I didn't get my law degree, I wouldn't have much of a future. I doubted Steve would be interested in me without a law degree.

I was thinking about Steve when I got off the Schuylkill Expressway and took the Lincoln Highway into North Philadelphia. I didn't head straight back to my dorm room. I had something important to take care of first. I parked across the street from Samuel's place a little after 7 PM. Marian was happy to see me when she opened the door.

Marian took one look at my revealing outfit and asked, "Hey new girl, you come to work tonight?"

Marian gave me a hug. She wrinkled her nose at the smell of cum coating my body.

I said, "No way, Marian. I have to get back to my place and study."

Ella asked if I wanted to stay for dinner. I said I only came to see Trixie and asked if she was around. I found Trixie in her room with her son, Trevor. I told her I needed to talk in private and she sent Trevor out to set the table for dinner.

"What's up, Jean?"

"You said you knew how to take care of an unwanted pregnancy."

"What happened? Did you get carried away with your boyfriend and his condom broke?"

"Nothing so romantic. Today I went to Graterford Prison to visit a client. They have a new metal detector, and my IUD set it off. They claimed I was trying to smuggle in contraband and removed my IUD. The guards said I would get at least five years in prison. It seems they have a racket where they get the women prisoners pregnant and sell the babies to adoption agencies. They decided not to wait until I was convicted. I was raped by at least a twenty guards and inmates, and none of the assholes bothered with a condom."

"I've heard about their adoption scheme, but the metal detector is new to me. I'll have to be extra careful the next time I go to Graterford to visit my baby daddy."

"Trixie, I really need your help."

"Sorry, Jean, of course, I'll help. It's very easy since it happened today. Do you have any birth control pills?"

"I have the ones I was taking before I got the IUD."

"OK, Jean, you need to take four of the pills tonight. Make sure you don't take the placebos they put in for your period. If you have a fertilized egg, the pills will keep it from implanting in your womb. You may have some spotting, but otherwise, the remedy is safe."

"Thanks, Trixie, I don't know how to thank you."

"Well, you could stay for dinner. I know the girls will be happy to see you."

"I'd love to, but I'm desperate for a shower and some clothes that aren't ripped to shreds."

Trixie said, "You have time for a shower here, and we can find you some fresh clothes. You won't have to sneak back into your dormitory with your breasts and pussy hanging out."

I welcomed her offer. I took the hottest shower I could stand. I scrubbed my skin pink with a stiff shower brush. Before we sat down to eat, I scored a large quantity of speed from Samuel. Dinner was great, but I should have stayed away from the wine. I was so exhausted I fell asleep on Trixie's shoulder. They let me sleep in Trixie's bed while Samuel took the girl's out to work. It was after one in the morning by the time Samuel and Trixie got me back to my dorm. They even parked my trusty Rambler in the school lot. Trixie came up to my room and made sure I took the birth control pills. She tucked me into bed, and I fell asleep so fast I never heard her leave.

#

The next morning, I woke up in a panic. I made it to Contract Law a couple of minutes late. The professor smiled as he handed me a quiz. I'd forgotten all about today's test. I looked over to see Niles hard at work on the test. I had promised to meet him last night to study, but I had gotten back too late. Niles had promised to share his notes and review the new material with me. I was familiar with some of the older material on the quiz but bombed the rest. I couldn't afford to flunk any more quizzes, but I blew this one. I was left with the necessity of getting an A on the final exam. I didn't think any amount of speed-fueled cramming was going to get me an A. Niles offer to cheat sounded like the only sure option.

After class Niles told me he had come looking for me at my apartment. He said Dana let him in and he studied at my desk while he waited in vain. He had left a little after midnight.

We had lunch together, and I talked about my meeting with David. I never mentioned my encounters with the guards. I focused on my frustration with the interview. I reminded Niles that the Professor believed David was lying to protect his cousins, but David never changed his story no matter how hard I pushed him. I described how David got so nervous he picked his nose until he had a massive nosebleed.

I concluded by saying, "I think David is guilty and the professor is deluding himself because he is friends with the family. It's never a good idea to get emotionally involved in a case. No good can come of it."

I had to meet with the Professor and give him the bad news. Niles said he would see me for dinner and a long study session. Our final for contract law was less than two weeks away.

Niles laughed and said, "We really need to bust our butts until the exam unless you've changed your mind about cheating."

I shook my head, "See you tonight. After today's quiz, I need to work twice as hard."

I was dreading my visit with the professor. I had little to show for my visit with David. Certainly, nothing to make up for the guards' terrorizing me with threats of prison and then gangbanging me. Obviously, I couldn't mention anything about my encounters with the guards. Professor Williams was only interested in prisoners on death row. The guards' baby selling racket and my rape didn't fall into his area of interest. I was just a minor casualty in his bigger war.

Professor Williams made me go through my description of the interview over and over. He kept hoping David had revealed something useful. I told the professor how upset my breaking the code made David. I pulled out the pages the guard had given me and read David's coded text. The Professor was not impressed with what I had found out from David's journals. He scowled as he stared at David's nude drawing of me.