Jen and her BFF's Brother

"Me too, Max," she said with a smile and meant what she'd said. She had made her decision and felt a tiny bit of relief.

"I'll be driving tomorrow, so I won't be able to use my phone -- company, and insurance rules."

"I'll be ready when you get here."

The call ended.

*****

Jen sat on her front porch and watched Max's car pull into the drive. The car had barely stopped when the driver's side door swung open, and Max was out, jogging toward her. Her breathing had accelerated enough that she knew she might be as anxious to see him as he was her.

Max stopped at the porch steps, his head shaking gently back and forth, his eyes locked with hers.

She wondered and didn't have long to wait.

His eyes never leaving hers, Max came up the steps and across to where she was seated. Seeing her smile, he knew the answer to the question in his mind.

He bent and kissed her.

"Jenny Boyer, I missed you."

"I missed you too, Max." Her heart was responding to him and the kiss, and she wondered if that cloud was hanging around, just waiting.

"Do you need to change your clothes before we go out?"

"I'm not sure," she answered. "I don't know where we're going." She laughed.

"Crap. I meant to say something during our talks this week ... I guess I forgot. Any ideas?"

It was now or never.

"You said we need to be honest with each other." She expected a response, but Max just continued to smile at her. "We need to talk -- at least I need to talk."

Max chuckled. "Should I be worried?"

"Max, I'm a mess, and I just need to share with you." That wasn't quite the start that Jen had wanted, but it was a start.

"So, maybe a back corner table at Mitchell's?" he said.

She couldn't help but laugh. He had a way of making her change course that amazed her. Just one more facet of Max that she ... yeah.

She snorted. "Max."

"Gottcha, right."

"Let's go to Pizza Hut. I bet you've been eating steak all week."

"Yep, and a deal. I'll go to my parent's place and change. I've got stuff in my suitcase." This time he put his finger to her lips, savoring the kiss she gave the finger. He put it to his own lips as he headed toward his car.

As she watched his back moving away from her, she still wasn't sure what she was going to say.

Max was back in fifteen minutes, having taken a few of those minutes to say hello to his parents. He had on shorts and an Ohio State T-shirt. It was the same Max she'd known for sixteen or seventeen years -- but it wasn't. It certainly wasn't.

"Hey, you look good," he called to her, extending his hand. She took hold of it, and they headed toward his car.

The trip to Pizza Hut was short, and most of the exchange on the way was Max telling Jen how much he'd missed her. They found a booth in a corner and ordered their pizza and breadsticks.

He looked at her and took hold of one hand.

"I hope it's nothing bad about me that you want to talk about, but I'm sure not perfect."

"It's me, Max." A deep breath. "I told my mom that I'm a mess, and I am."

Max shook his head. "Go on," he said softly.

"This is hard, Max. I've been, well, a little miserable since ..."

"Dirk?"

He seemed to know everything that was going on in her mind.

"I'm sure," she said, "and maybe I'm too naive ... or weak, but I just lost faith in lots of things."

"And one of them is men," Max said.

"Yes ... and no," she said, struggling to keep looking at Max. "I realize what it is, but not why."

"Would it surprise you if I said I can understand what you're saying, but I haven't seen it?"

"Max, I know. Last Friday, when I was with you, I felt like... like everything, even me, was okay. I told Mom it was like I was on a cloud, and all the bad had dropped away, had disappeared, and there was only happiness" She bit her lower lip. "It was wonderful."

Max squeezed the hand he had been holding the entire time.

"I know it was wonderful," he said. "I was there, and it was wonderful," he added as their food arrived.

Eating pizza, wiping mouths, throwing pepperonis at each other, and some laughter eased the tension a little. But their evening wasn't over yet.

Starting on his second slice, Max said, "I had several evenings to switch on the TV and then ignore it and think about something much more pleasant -- you."

As Jen listened to his voice and absorbed the way he was looking at her, she understood what was causing those feelings she was having..

"How long have we known each other?"

"You've known me since I was born," Jen answered.

"And between you, Tany, and me, we've gotten to be best friends."

Jen nodded and wondered.

"The Greeks were cool," Max said. "They had lots of words for things. Philia was their word for loving a close friend. Do we have that, Jen?"

Surprised, Jen said, "Sure we do, Max."

"Then they have eros."

Jen's brow furrowed.

"Romantic love, and maybe more," he said. "A short step for me from philia."

Jen sucked in her breath. This was their second date, and he was talking about love, even if it was Greek words. Where was he headed?

"You better eat some pizza before I've sucked it all down," he said.

"You keep changing the subject," she replied, smiling at him.

"Not really. It's just that if I see that cloud starting to darken a little, I try to do something to brighten it back up."

Jen looked away, knowing there were two tears creeping down her cheeks. But it was too late -- he'd seen them.

"Jen," he said softly, concern in his voice. "Did I --?"

"-- you did," she interrupted, struggling to smile. "It's been a while since I've been happy enough to shed a tear."

"Happy enough?" His face spread in a wide grin. He couldn't resist using his thumb to clear the tears, then tasting it. "That's one of the best ways to share your joy," he said. "Now, let's finish eating, I'll drive us to Blendon Woods, and we can go for an evening walk."

"I think I'd like that," she said, starting on another slice of pizza and holding a bread stick in her other hand. She'd been totally surprised by the tears but hadn't been able to stop them. Her emotions were not exactly out of control; they were simply very unpredictable.

They left the Pizza Hut in Pickerington, and Max drove maybe five miles to Blendon Woods. The sun was sinking but still had a ways to go, and it was mild with a gentle breeze as they began their walk.

Jen was glad when Max took hold of her hand, his fingers interlocked with hers. The feelings of the previous Friday night were with her again, and she wondered if Max was really aware of it and how much it meant to her.

He was, and he did, even if it was a little beyond what he understood. Still, he enjoyed being an important part of Jen's life.

"I'll be in town all next week," he said, "and I'm planning to spend every evening with you if that's okay."

"Max, you don't have to do that. I can ..." She could feel him squeezing her hand. "I know," she said, chuckling, "you're not doing it because you have to. I need to get used to that." She returned his squeeze. She did know that his being there with her would perpetuate her cloud, the soft and fluffy one.

"You'll be studying, won't you?"

"I'll try to get it all finished during the day."

"Don't do that. I'll just show up with a book or some work and sit there with you."

"I think, ... well, my parents trust you enough to ... to allow us to be alone together in my room."

WIth the somewhat awkward pauses and the quick look she gave him, something was registering with Max, not something he'd feel comfortable discussing with her just yet.

"What if they don't?" Max teased.

"Don't be silly, Max; they will. And if they don't, you can climb up the trellis and in my window. Kind of a secret and forbidden," she giggled, squeezing his hand.

Max inhaled, understanding that Jen, in her innocence, had no idea of what the word "forbidden" would conjure in his mind. Along with that, he wondered at that innocence. He'd been away from Jenny for three years -- three years of her college, and he wondered if he was assuming her college years had been similar to his, perhaps mistakenly so. Perhaps she was ...

"You've gotten quiet," Jen said, interrupting his reverie.

Just thinking," he said, smiling at her.

"A penny for your thoughts, or maybe a kiss," she said, blushing slightly and surprised she'd said it.

He stopped and pulled her against him, hugging her tightly, much to her chagrin, as there were others on the path. Max wanted the kiss but was reluctant to share his thoughts, at least right this moment. Honesty had become their mantra, and Max wasn't about to ignore it.

"Ready for my kiss," he said.

A deeper blush.

"Not here," she said, alarm in her voice.

"Where, then?" he asked.

"Just keep walking," she said. "I'm sure we'll find a place.

They walked and talked and laughed at things each said and at some of the people they passed on the trail. Finally, as they rounded a sharp corner, Max stopped.

"No one around, " he said.

Her lips went to his, and he kissed her, and she kissed him. His tongue pressed against her lips, and, with a soft moan, they parted, and his tongue touched hers. He felt her body melt against his, her hands on his back, pressing him against her. Their tongues touched, then explored, Jen in a place she'd never been before.

"Max," she gasped, pulling away.

He could only look at her and want more.

"Your thoughts," she said, her eyes holding his.

"Jen. are you sure?" he asked, afraid of her response.

But he continued.

"I was just thinking about you, and what the three years I've been away have been like for you?"

"And my time with Dirk?"

"I'm sorry," he said. "But you asked, and I want to be honest."

"Me too," she answered, terrified of disappointing him. "I'm ... I'm still a ..." It was so hard to say that word with Max looking at her. So hard to possibly disappoint him about what she was. So hard to be ...

"Jenny, Jenny, you don't need to say it." He pulled her against him once more.

"I just don't want to ..."

"You aren't," he said, pulling her against him once more.

"But, if you want to," she said, her eyes meeting his. She was willing to do whatever it took to keep Max just where he was in her life.

He heard the "but if you want to," and it tore at his heart. First, she was telling him she was a virgin, and then, almost immediately, she was willing to give that up "if you want to."

He'd told her "eros" was romantic love and maybe more. He knew she was at the romantic point and was ready to move to "and maybe more." But only "if you want to." The eyes that were meeting his were delicate, fragile, and vulnerable, more precious than any he had seen before.

People or not, he bent and kissed those inviting lips that had just spoken those soul-bareing words. It was a short kiss, but he hoped it gave her a hint of how deep his feelings were for her. He'd told her that going from philia to eros was a short step for him, and he realized it was probably quite a bit larger step for her. But, he was curious about several things.

He took her hand again, gently pulling her along with him.

"Two things," he said. "First, I think I know of a quiet spot where there won't be any people, and second, I'd like to ask you a couple of questions."

"Quiet spot," she repeated, smiling at him. "And some questions. I hope I have answers."

"I'm sure you will, but if you'd rather not share them today, I totally respect that."

"If I have answers, you'll hear them." The look he got along with that response warmed him immensely.

With their clenched hands swinging between them, they walked along the pathway singing the "ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall" song and getting puzzled looks from the other strollers. When they came to a small gravel path leading off the pavement, Max tugged Jen's hand, and she followed him along to a small maintenance shed. Of course, there was no one else there.

Jen knew what was coming and was ready, wanting it to happen. She watched his nostrils flare with his breathing as he gazed at her, and the warmth that coursed through her body was new ... and exciting.

Max's lips met hers, much different than they had just minutes ago in front of lots of people. He pressed against hers, and she pressed back, feeling his tongue probing at her lips, allowing them to part so he could search out her tongue, which seemed eager to meet his. She heard a soft moan and realized it was her own body making that sound, and it was blending with the deeper sounds coming from Max's body. She pressed harder, closing her teeth on his tongue, holding it in place while her own tongue caressed it over and over. Finally, they parted, both of them breathing heavily.

"Max, I don't ... I don't know what to say or do."

"You already said it," he responded softly, "not with words, but with something much more precious than words. I could feel your soul speaking to me."

"Oh, Max, I think ... I hope ... I, oh, just hold me so I'll stop stammering."

He squeezed her tightly one more time, his chin resting on the top of her head.

"Max, what are you doing?" she said suddenly.

"Jen, that red hair that I love smells so good I couldn't resist," he sputtered, pulling his lips free of her hair.

She wanted to tell him he was weird, but the thought of him pulling her hair into his mouth had her tingling. He leaned back, looked at her, and their lips met again, and this time she was ready for him.

"We passed one of those picnic shelters, and there was no one using it. Let's go there and ... and we'll think about those questions."

"Okay."

Jen seated herself on the bench of the weatherbeaten picnic table, and Max sat down across from her. He wanted to be able to see her face and eyes as he asked, and she answered.

"I can probably guess some of the questions, but I won't spoil that for you," she said, smiling at him.

Max was a little surprised at the confidence he could see on her face, as he had expected her to be a little reticent about what was about to take place. He worked to process this but was hesitant to form too many conclusions this fast. He took hold of her hand. Just touching her made him feel more secure.

"Back there, you said, without really saying it ..."

"That I'm a virgin." She didn't seem at all hesitant about saying that, but she sensed his surprise.

"Um, yes. And it's non of my business, so if you--"

"--If you're going to be my, well," she interrupted and took a deep breath, "boyfriend or more, then it is your business."

It seemed that today she was continually doing and saying things that had Max off-balance. Yet, they were all things he wanted to experience and hear. The "or more" had his heart pounding.

"I hate to bring it up, but I don't understand about Dirk."

"Me either, Max. We dated for less than four months. He was kind, sweet, and caring, then totally obnoxious and disgusting, and those things seemed to alternate from week to week. I'm going to be honest, Max, and if I blush or stammer, please overlook it."

Max stood, leaned across the table, and kissed her on the forehead.

Dirk made it clear from early on that he wanted to sleep with me. When I told him I was a virgin, he kept telling me it would be his honor to take care of that, but it didn't take long for me to understand that it was more like putting a notch in his belt than being honored. He'd harp on it for a while, then let it rest, but it was always hanging in the air between us.

"He tried to put his hand under my dress one time, and when I wouldn't allow it, he called me a "cock tease." Max, I never did anything -- it was all him. I wasn't any kind of a tease, let alone a cock tease.."

Max smiled at the look of defiance on her face.

She looked away off into the distance for a few seconds, and when her gaze returned to him, she was smiling.

"I even looked it up on the internet to be sure," she said, chuckling. "After all of nothing happening between us, he asked me to move to Phoenix with him. It was so unexpected and such a surprise, I just laughed and said he was being ridiculous. That's when he really got angry, and I thought he was going to hit me, or ..." Jen's eyes closed.

"Or rape you," Max asked softly.

He saw her visibly shiver. "Or rape me."

"Jen, this is too hard. Maybe we should stop."

"Max Engle, you listen to me. You use those Greek words that I can't remember, but I have simpler words than that. In one of my psych classes, I learned that people are able to remove things from their minds that they don't want to face. In simple words, I'm falling in love with you as a twenty-one-year-old, but I think I've been in love with you for years but wouldn't face it."

When Max had wanted to ask Jen a few questions, he'd never imagined hearing the words that she had just spoken. He was bathing in the sound and feel of them as her eyes were on him, waiting for a response. He slowly stood and walked around the table, sitting on the bench next to her, sliding closer until his hip and leg were against hers.

Her hand sought his as she realized that sometimes, words weren't needed. She didn't need more words to know how he felt.

"Do you have more questions?"

"Jenny, Jenny, Jenny. In just a week, you've changed so much."

"I've been with you all day, and it's been like a dream. But when I wake up in the morning, and you aren't there, we'll see how I feel."

"I could be there," he said quietly.

Jen's eyes opened wide. "Max?"

Max chuckled. "Jen, do you ever go to sleep without having sex?"

"Max, of course, I do, and you know that." She knew he'd only say that because of their long-time friendship.

"So do I," he said, "and so could we."

His seven words had all sorts of pictures flashing through her brain. The thought of simply cuddling up against him and falling asleep was almost overwhelmingly appealing. Could they do that? Could she expect Max to do that? And there was that other thing that could happen. She was twenty-one, and it was about time, wasn't it? Wasn't it? Was it that simple? She'd spent those twenty-one years without it happening. Would it be that earth-shattering?

"Jen, just ignore that. The last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable."

"Mat, I think that might make me too comfortable."

"You are so bright and beautiful I didn't realize it was getting dark. Come home with me ... for just a while," he added. "I'll take you home."

"It's only been a week," she said.

"A week and one day ... plus twenty-one years."

Arms around waists, they headed for Max's car.

*****

True to his word, during the following week, Max spent every spare minute he had with Jen. He watched her study, often giving the red hair that he loved a kiss. There were other kisses too, of course. Everything seemed in order while he was there, and it appeared to be carrying over to the rest of the day. School was fun, tests were no longer daunting. She prayed it would last.

The following week Max was gone for three days. She missed him horribly, but it was different. Her life moved along with him gone, and she was able to wear a smile the entire time. The week was a prelude to several weeks that followed. She always missed Max when he was gone, but it wasn't like it had been that first week.

There was something, though. When she was at Max's, and it was time for him to take her home, it was getting more difficult with each passing week to make that happen. How often had she wished she could simply climb into bed with Max and go to sleep, warm and content.

It had been fourteen weeks since that first date; it was mid-December, cold, and about four inches of snow on the ground. Although it seemed to make more sense for Jen to drive to Max's and then drive herself home, he wasn't comfortable with her being by herself in the snow that late at night ... or very early in the morning. So, he picked her up and took her home, happy to be able to spend those extra moments with her.