All Comments on 'Jeremy's Proctologist'

Congratulations on your first story. Storyline was quite unusual but raunchy and erotic. Certainly makes one wonder how straight, straight really is. Your score would have been higher if you had proofread the story. Grammar, spelling and your analogies at times lets you down or are a turn off "filling panties with cum like a dog marking its territory". Imagery as sexy as a brown (not gay) bear's arse. Adjectives and their use incorrect or old worldly, flail , dastardly , confines of a shower. Do you know someone (one word by the way) who still talks like that? A suggestion for your next story- you do definitely deserve a second chance- use simple everyday English. Use your rather graphic imagination and don't try and impress with contrived words. The punch is in developing the feelings and stimulating the mind of the reader to become part of your storyline. Trust you dont think this is English 101 . Overall thanks for your different and imaginative story

That story was awesome ! Great flow by the way love to read more from you