All Comments on 'Jess' Birthday Request'

That was a good story that you wrote about Steve and Jess. I like how you ended this story was Jess coming into Daddy's room holding something. What I would like to know is what she was holding onto?

But you need to stop with the incessant references of "Stop that. She's your daughter" stuff. It got old because you did that several times. Actually, none of that is necessary. Ask yourself a question... would YOU talk or think like that? No, you wouldn't. I know i wouldn't.

That's the thing about writing stories. Even though they're fantasy, writers need to think about things like that. Do people talk like that. Ask yourself when you write dialog.