All Comments on 'Jesse'

That got my cock so hard i was losing my eyesight would love someone to shag me with such passion and caring.

A very good story of discovery and first experience, thanks.

Great job for your first submission. Liked the story and would like to see it progress. I would recommend finding someone to proofread for errors, even though there were very few! Hope to see more from you soon!

Great job for your first attempt. I really liked the story and hope you continue.

Not knocking the story, it was great, but for first timers there was an exceptional amount of "self control", and patience going on. On at least two points I would have be firing "shots" all over the place. Othewise, damn good story, do keep writing

...sooo many writers do that on here that it really doesnt matter. I guess the moral to the story is to keep it believable. Otherwise, your structure was good, plot a bit basic but that's what short stories are, characters were good, dialogue was good too, the sex was very hot but i would've kept it going for longer by describing more detail, how the main character felt, what Jesse did and said, described what happened, how it sounded, looked, tasted, smelled and felt, etc. Details like that really help put the reader in the room, make them feel that if they aren't participating themselves, they're at least watching it from a chair next to the bed ;)

Great work for a first though! Really good :) keep going :) i'd like to hear jesse's side, to know what events led him to call Jason and take the plunge, i'd like to know how it felt for him, what he thinks about Jason, did he secretly spend years lusting after Jason from afar? Just a thought :)

Enjoyed the story and have no critical comments to make. The thought of taking a virgin got me excited. Would love to experience a like situation in real time.

Nice n daring dude........

Very nice, would like yo see more!!

INCREDIBLE! Wish you would write more!