All Comments on 'Jessica Takes Control Ch. 01'

This has a great story line and can be really developed into a great series but the chapters need to be longer and obviously more of them!

I agree, the chapters need to be longer. My available time to write is limited but I do have a few more short chapters to add. Maybe I could just make it two long chapters...I'll post as soon as time permits.

I could barely make it through the story the grammar is so bad. Lack of proper punctuation, quotation marks, barely any descriptions. If the other chapters are like this than it's not really worth reading.

That being said, in some of the stories (not just this one), there are grammar issues. From what I have read here on Literotica, virtually everyone is an amateur writer. As far as I know, there is no income from posting here. American English is not even the primary language of most of the writers, so stop bitching about grammar. Be constructive, yes by all means, but don't be a hateful ass about it.

I loved the story line and can well imagine where were going. BUT, I 100% disagree with a couple of the other comments about long chapters. I write to Literotica but I actually try to keep the pages to two. Those who write long chapters invariably spend too much time in lengthy descriptions of situation, and after three pages the read becomes a bore.

Your story is well paced and I hope you don't succumb to the "Victor Hugo" syndrome. Have you ever tried reading the unabridged version of Les Miserables, at one point he spends three pages on describing a Grave Stone.

So please, write as you wish it. The punctuation and grammar will come!

As to Anonymous respondents: Forget em!

Jesus. No one is being a hateful ass about the grammar. They are pointing out the flaws and what can make for an unappealing read. Hateful would be along the lines of, "You dumb fuck, you don't know where to put a comma? Stop writing jackass." - That is hateful.

If this world gets any more sensitive, no one is going to be allowed to say the truth anymore.

Seems like it was written from a male perspective.

The author can do more to incorporate the FEMALE protagonist’s POV by focusing on more of the female body. Just seems like it’s from an aggressive son’s POV. Girls can be aggressive too, of course. It just didn’t ring with the nuance of a woman-woman relationship.