All Comments on 'Jessica Takes Control Ch. 02'

but as a few others have already stated you need to try and make the chapters a bit longer.

***I need to see some ID the man told Jessica, you have to be 21 to enter.***

What's wrong with this? No quotation marks. No stoppage of dialog and then continuation of it. Then we have this.............

***"That's ok Jessica replied, my mother is going to do all the buying, aren't you Mother?"***

Quotation marks, but then nothing to show stoppage of dialog and continuation of it.

Do you even read what you write, or is this how you learned basic English Literature?

Oh my god I need the next chapter!

Enjoyed the start of this story but need longer chapters and more of mom servicing daughter but this could be a nice series of daughter controlling mom.

More chapters please.

***THIS IS FOR ANONYMOUS**** In case you haven't noticed this is a site for basically AMATEUR writers to post their stories and fantasies. Key word is AMATEUR!!!! And last time I looked this site is FREE!!! So if you want to bitch and moan about grammar, then go pay for a book where you will have professional writers to bitch at. ALSO and most importantly,, in case you did not notice, most of the writers are NOT from the US so they have different writing styles AND different usage of various words. Hell some don't even know American English, much less the slang terms we use. One story I read the author said that they were from South Carolina, and all throughout the story they used the word "arse". I have spent a lot of time in SC and NEVER heard anyone say "arse". But at least they try to give some entertainment in their stories. If something bothers you, do what I do, and go read a different story. There are THOUSANDS to choose from. Just my never to be humble opinion.

Actually, I live in SC but come from England, so when I write I naturally use proper English, including the word "Arse." Thank you supporting this author, I find the story well paced!

Thanks all for the comments. As mymantoy stated, most on here are amateur writers, including me. I state that in my profile, I've never published a book, never took any writing courses etc and probably never will. That's not my profession, I do enjoy writing and I take your comments seriously. For example, most have said "Longer Chapters". I will most certainly attempt to do so. For the anonymous posters that complain about the way it's written, I expect some of that, it doesn't really bother me. I do think they could point it out in a different manner, especially if it's legit criticism, but as I've said, doesn't bother me either way. Thanks for reading, I'll attempt to make my chapters longer. Chris