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Click hereWith that, the old woman slowly wheeled her shopping trolly away leaving Jan standing there open-mouthed, wondering if what had happened was really a dream.
The weird ending comes from the person who asked me to write this story. They wanted this ending so I wrote that before I wrote the majority of the story. I have tried to leave it open enough so that if I want to return to it I can.
What's with this weird ending? Please explain, I don't understand why the Johnsons would leave their shop like this.
"You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension of not only of sight and sound, but of mind; a journey into a wonderous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead - your next stop, the Twilight Zone!"
Anonymous 2 - It's called a story... you know fiction... a made-up thing
Anonymous 3 - Jewellery is the British English spelling. Jewelry is the American English spelling.
When the writer can't spell "Jewelry Shop" properly, it gives one an idea of how well the rest of the writing process will go. Pass this on by...
The initial encounter is too much of a rape scenario for me and the feeling her parents set her up for it is just fucking creepy
Strange ending. However, excellent fuck scenes, and the female characters are appropriately nasty and fun.
3 Stars, to me the story is quite quirky and disjointed, you reviled information that the reader should have known about near the beginning. I assume you are writing in European English, and I can deal with that, but there are a few typos that should have transcended the language barrier, please get someone to read your stories before you publish them. I'm sorry if I come across so negative, but I want you to be a better writer.