All Comments on 'Jizzabelle Ch. 01: The Front Bar'

Nice story, decently paced and interesting.

The country girl in the big city idea is well done, play it out for a few more chapters. Don't let her get streetwise too quickly. At the moment it's a little over the top, but this is chapter one, and they are fairies. play the interaction between the other fairy races as much as you can.

Don't crowd your dialog with too many descriptive sentences behind it. let it stand out.

"Be Bold!'

"Firey!"

And allow it the power to tell your story without hedging it in on the sides.

Nice work. Keep it up.

M.S.Tarot

You ever gonna make a chapter 2? Great story, lots of potential!

You ever gonna make a chapter 2? It was a great story, so much potential!

Chapter 2 is still planned! I'm struggling a bit with the plot but still hoping to finish it in 2022.

Amazing story! The way you portrayed the environment and ambience had me in total immersion! Characters were rich and fun. really looking forward to chpt 2!

It is so lovely to have that feedback! I am working on something else at the moment (I write very slowly!) but the second chapter is next in the queue after that. There is a very naughty Wheel of Fortune which will be a lot of fun to write.