Jizzy 01

Again, I had no such upcoming party planned. I mean, I'm barely two years out of the "hey, you" phase of my life, so how could I host a party yet, hmm?

Also, wow, when they say a "tease nudie bathroom mirror selfie" that's exactly what they mean! And when Lacey says she has the posing under control, that's exactly what she means! I mean, she had me basically naked and had her hands on me as she moved me into the perfect angle for the mirror! Not that I quickly posted that I had girlfriend experience now or anything.

"Ahem, you're fighting my arm gestures and movements on purpose, Jizzy! Haven't you hugged naked yet with a boyfriend? Or a girlfriend? Or even with a goal post or a tree?"

Well, sometimes Lacey just rambles on and on and by the way, um, no, I haven't hugged naked with a goal post yet. Or a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend for that matter. I mean, is that a thing? My experience has been more like a one-way street so far.

"Mm, mm, mm, twist a little more sideways, Jizzy, so the camera doesn't catch a glimpse of your, er, well, this is all about your butt in the mirror, which is going to look amazing with two sideways blue lightning bolts flashing across it!"

[Shutterbug click]

"And now give the camera a sheepish peek over your shoulder!"

[Shutterbug click]

"Mm, mm, mm, I'd so serve you a morning coffee if I can bring a rubber strap-on..."

[Soft Ice Cream Shop door chime jingle, jangle]

"Excuse me? Is anyone working here tonight? Hello? Jizzy? Jizzy?"

[Shuffles around the corner from the restroom hallway, shuffling with clothing]

And I put on my sweet as banana cream pie smile for my next customer.

"OMG, Luna Lue, I can't believe you came to visit with me! Is there a dark moon tonight?"

[Luna Lue slaps a regular envelope down on the counter top in a big huff and slam!]

"Jizzy, you came through for me when I needed you the most by lending me like a bazillion dollars so I could reach and achieve my fame on Clicky Clock and now, I'm here to pay you back!"

[Luna Lue slams her hand down on the envelope, which looked just a little too thin to hold a bazillion dollars in payback! It was a little thin.]

"Ahh, Luna Lue, this is like $3, which won't even buy me a single scoop with sprinkles and that's with my employee discount, so?"

[Swoosh, a figure slips out of the restroom hallway and out towards the back]

Lacey did not need to slip out like that, but, whatever, I guess.

"Oh, well, I needed the money for my next project, which is why I'm here visiting with you, Jizzy, so stop trying to change the subject! But to change the subject from my side, I mean, Bobby is lurking around outside for you, so? He wants a chit chat in the alley out of the back door of your shop, so?"

"What? Robert is here? Where? How's my ponytail then? Is my ice cream apron clean? Is my ice cream apron even on? Tee he, not that there is any reason for it not be on me and tied up tight."

[Luna Lue fiddles with and ties the ice cream apron because it was certainly not on properly]

"Oh, um, Jizzy, your ponytail is ready for giving Bobby a blow job since ponytails work great for sucking your boyfriends dick, but um, well, from what I've heard, er, Bobby really brings it at the end, so, well, your apron might be the best thing you're wearing tonight, but listen, Bobby can wait. So [puppy dog eyes while twirling on tippy toes], well, I mean, I need a couple of more favors, so?"

So, favors, right? They are supposed to be a two street, right? I mean, a favor for a favor and not just a one-sided additive thing, right?

[Luna Lue slams a couple of pieces of paper down on the counter top, regular paper, not a bazillion dollars kind of paper. Also, it was Luna Lue's phone with her Notepad App opened and not paper at all, but the Notepad screens were college ruled, so]

"Ahem, the first Notepad screen is just silly jargon about how you're going to sweet talk your uncle into renting me his rental hall for next Friday night and yada, yada, yada, all liquor licensing, all food service licensing and all loud music licensing included, blah, blah, blah, please scan your right eye into my phone screen to approve all that, please."

[Jizzy did not scan his right eye as much as Luna Lue shoved her phone up to and into his right eye]

"Ahem, thank you, Jizzy. The next Notepad screen is the invite, pre-written by me, of course, for the very special "Wednesday" party that I am, I mean, that we are hosting together next Friday right here on the Strip, when the Strip will be absolutely popping! Scan your pinky finger to pre-load the evite into my group text system, please."

[That was more of a phone slam down on Jizzy's pinky finger more than a pinky finger print scan]

"Ahem thank you, Jizzy. The next Notepad screen is the guaranteed list of "Wednesday" attendees, so, review it and scan the birth mark on your left side that is just above your waistline for its approval, please."

[Huh, Wednesday Luna Lue, check, Wednesday Leena, check, Wednesday Lio, check, Wednesday Lys, check, Wednesday Lori, check, check, check, check, Wednesday Luci, check, Wednesday Lucy, check, Wednesday Lynn, check, Wednesday Luanne, check, Wednesday Lilly, check, Wednesday Lianna, check, lifts shirt, scans three squiggly lines of birth mark]

"Tee he, I think I know why Bobby is making such a fuss over you, Jizzy. Show me that torso again, sweetie!"

Well, I hadn't ever been asked to do that before, so, tee he, oh yeah, I did that! Besides, I knew Robert was peering through the front window.

[Store front window hand banging, bang, bang, bang]

"Anyways, the next Notepad screen seems to be written in Alien code, but it just says that there will be at least two hunky hunks of men for every sexy Wednesday girl, plus one or two of your guests. Also, just scroll to next Notepad screen where I took care of all of the match up lists and then scan your left palm to approve, please!"

[The two hot hunks for each of the hot Wednesday girls match ups seem reasonable, but the fine print clearly said that Jizzy's two guests would be Kenny the Brick and William the Building, both known as front door bouncers, so it was a trick, but since Jizzy was dealing with Luna Lue the scam artist, it didn't matter anyways and scans his left palm]

"Thank you, Jizzy, now the final Notepad screen is your acknowledgment that Ken and Bill are just the front door bouncers for crowd control on the sidewalk of the Strip since my "Wednesday" party will have a totally "dying to attend" status with a limited invite list and they are not for your dates. Please scan your right elbow as your acknowledgement that you will be our acting sidewalk social media photographer to capture the long line of Wednesday wannabes dying to get inside of my Wednesday party, please and thank you."

[Well, that didn't sound fair, but Jizzy scanned his creamy elbow anyways. Jizzy bathes in body lotion, so, no dry elbow skin there]

"So, Luna Lue, is there a Notepad page screen that says that we both agree that I too can attend as a Wednesday then, hmm? Or at least as the wolf girl, who, by the way, took forever to wolf out, so?"

"[LMAO in her head] now, Jizzy, that character is reserved for Leela, our inside photographer, but listen, scan that hickey on the rear of your neck on this screen page and your participation can be a goth, er, family cousin or something who takes tons and tons of photos of everyone who is in the line on the outside of the rental hall and who are dying to get in, okay? And by the way, Jizzy, she saved the day when she finally did wolf out, so? Also, a goth cousin is not the same as a black kitty kat, Jizzy!"

[Jizzy scans his curling iron burn mark because it looks like a hickey, which implies being sexually active]

Well, finally all that was over anyways, right?

"Ahem! And this final, final Notepad screen is a disclaimer because that crazy bird girl threaten to stab me in the neck with a peacock feather if we didn't approve of her transforming her three petite Lil Black Jacket Lil Ladies into three Lil Wednesday petites for the party promo for just one day, which I totally don't get since it also says that she has our approval to replace the original three Lil Black Jacket Ladies with another three petite temporary Lil Black Jacket Ladies, but I don't see the up side to bleeding from the neck from a pointy feather tip, so, plant a pucker kiss lip print here for your approval, please!"

[Mwah!]

That was the easy one!

"Ahem, and this final, final, final Notepad screen needs, oh, oh, well, it needs a nipple scan from your secret morning coffee crush, Lacey, to confirm that she could be our bartender Wednesday Lacey, but since she is not here and all..."

[CRASH! The Soft Ice Cream Shop door chime hardly stops flying through the air!]

"[Spits out pieces of debris] did someone say my name? Did someone need the nipple print scan of Wednesday Lacey, hmm?"

I mean, one would think that would be something best performed in the Ladies room, right? Nope.

[Whoop, an outgoing group text of about a bazillion text numbers, but with only about 40 real invites]

Well, nowhere in my story have I ever said that I have costumes in my closet on the left, kitty kat or goth, but that's why the Costume Shop on the Strip is there, right? I mean, my cell phone is black, so I could be a goth like, er, cousin or something for one evening of photographing all the people who will be lining the sidewalk of the Strip while dying to get inside.

"Hey, you, Jizzy, no, no, no, get your eyes and hands off of the leotard cat costume! I can't have your gang banging in the alley on my conscience nor do I want the Costume Shop apparel tags in any police evidence photos, so, get over here and check out these black shorts! And since I actually follow you on Chang, I mean, I might have a couple of exotic dancer fishnet shorts without any sewn-in undies, so, well, you can be more you, so?"

Well, I was only looking at the leotard anyways, so. But ooh la, la on her selection of stripper shorts!

"Mm, mm, mm, I can see why the new guy Howie is making such a fuss about imprinting your butt with two blue lightning bolts [pat, pat], Jizzy."

I still had no idea who Howie the new ink artist was.

"Anyways Jizzy, ahem, since I have control all of the spare Wednesday costumes right now, mwahahaha, ahem, shouldn't you be checking the list to make certain that a Wednesday Liza isn't on the list, hmm [pat, pat]?"

Well, I wasn't in charge of that, but I did scan Liza's bra size and sent it to Luna Lue and that seemed to work.

Besides, I had more pressing issues to deal with like strolling up and down the Strip during the party with my phone camera and putting up with the grumblings of all those who lined the Strip and were dying to get inside of the Wednesday party.

So, I'll take you back in my story a little bit to my friend, Jack, my electronics guy, Jack. I took Luna Lue's puppy dog eyes, combined them with my new black cat costume, added my own black combat boots and convinced Jack to hook me up with a sweet outdoor camera that pointed straight the Strip, with just enough of an angle to capture a good view of the grumbling people and took another shot at being forward first. I mean, I've had my head in Jack's lap twice (three times) before, so, well, so, what?

"And I can monitor the feed via my phone at all times, Jack?"

"Yep, and you can still side split screen with your phone as you wander up and down the Strip by using this tab on the App, so, Jizzy, I'm going to be happy about helping you out, right?"

"Oh, Jack, you really don't need to beat around the bush with me anymore. I have developed quite the comfort zone with you and I can see us hugging naked in the very near future and yep, somewhere in the middle of this crazy Wednesday party, yep, I'm going to make you happy tonight and I'll even hold my tongue if there is some reasonable level of a "caught" photo or something, so, leave me to my work assignment and come back around in a couple of hours, okay?"

Huh, Jack sure seemed to know what hugging naked meant alright, so, huh, maybe that is a thing. And I couldn't believe that he jumped in his truck and drove off without an encounter with me since we were so close to the alley and since the "dying to get in" line was just starting to form!

[Beep, beep]

And sometimes I speak to soon. But when a guy is willing to smack lips with you through his open truck window and right on the Strip, where I probably looked like a goth street worker since I was decked out all in black with my fancy new fishnet shorts peeking out under my new black shorts and whoa, even for me, I allowed Liza to fit me in a very lacy and frilly black blouse, oops, where was I, oh, as I leaned into his truck window, I mean, well, so, what?

[Mwah, ummah, mwah, smooch, lip smack, lip lock, mwah, ahh, ahh]

"Alright, alright, Jack, that's enough for now. I need to start capturing all the crying people on video!"

[Mwah, ummah, mwah, smooch, lip smack, lip lock, mwah, ahh, ahh]

"Whew!"

"Jizzy, I'm going to do you so hard! Smash face hard!"

"Jack and you're going to cut me some slack if I have to bite on a tooth brush or something, but I'm not bitching out! Just not now, Jack."

Well, maybe Wednesday Luna Lue spiked my beverage with a black pill, so, so what?

"I'm going to bang those two blue lightning bolts off of your butt real soon, Jizzy!"

I mean, I would have to have those two blue lightning bolts on my butt cheeks first, so.

"Leave me to my work, Jack."

And by the way, for all you know, I only opened his door and leaned in all the way to, er, um, look for a coin that I dropped on his floorboard, so. Which doesn't matter because all that mattered was that I handled it, straightened myself up and started to make my walk of shame to film the line of shame!

"Hey, you, Jizzy, what's the secret code to get inside of the side door of the party, huh?"

Ah-hah! Barry! And his cute girlfriend, but ah-hah, Barry! The guy who briefly strung me upside down by my high tops shoe strings on Spirit Day back in the day, so, ah-hah! And the ah-hah is for how he snuck a keychain knife into my back pocket as I was temporarily hanging upside down from a tree branch, which had a lot more to do with how he snuck that little knife into my back pocket more than for anything else! But I think Barry was the first to feel me up like that with so much purpose, so.

"Barry, I'm sorry, but I do not have approval to give out that information yet! However, if your cute girlfriend, who definitely isn't from Middleton, wishes to use the powder room inside of the rental hall in about ten minutes or so, I mean, that I can make happen, so."

Oh, see, you learn something new every day. That look, well, I'm sure it will take a lot of practice, but that look I got back form Barry's girlfriend was a combination of a slightly tilted downward head with a smirk glaze right down the bridge of her nose, but with uplifted eye lashes. Or Barry who for short, tee he. Did I explain a competition ski slope properly? I was trying to describe a speed competition ski slope kind of thing, so.

"Hey, you, Jizzy, my dawg! You remember that time I helped you climb the rope in gym class, right?

Well, is flipping the rope like a crazy man trying to shake a snake off of the rope the same as helping me climb the rope? I think not, but Duke is man beef and I knew that Wednesday Luna Lue wanted man cake to surround her other sexy Wednesday's and he appeared to be alone, so, I mean, I could text it in to the head Wednesday anyways.

"Confess, Duke, confess what you felt that day I wore those fishnet shorts under my Denim shorts in the locker room to distribute my party invites, confess, Duke!"

"Oh, Jizzy, if you would have had those two blue lightning bolts sideways across your ass cheeks back then, well, there would just be a couple of tattoo outlines and hand prints on the wall, so?"

OMG, still with the lightning bolts that I don't have yet! Or I have to meet this new Howie guy soon for short.

But at least he was honest. Well, wait.

"Confess, Duke, was there or was there not a huge circle jerk afterwards at one of your video games where I was circled jerked over after that day, hmm, confess!"

Well, that back fired on me because guys, right? For them, jacking off in front of each other is just another Tuesday, LOL.

"Now you confess, Jizzy, did you or did you not stop by my video tournament later that night to make sure that your fancy little under shorts had the effect that you were hoping for, hmm?"

Oh, I mean, well, I mean, there was a lot of bother and stuff in the locker room during that day, so, I mean, I just wanted to, well, I mean, well, that one back fired on me too!

But not my bike style fishnet under shorts! They fired on point! And then I skedaddled from Duke's place because the guys were started to point at me. Nope, not with their fingers.

"[Whisper, whisper, release the Ravens, whisper, whisper] and that is not your information to pass along, Duke, so."

"Thanks, Jizzy, I owe you one, so?"

"And that's in my back pocket, Duke, for future use, for blackmail, for a date with your friend, Manny or anything else that I see fit, so, straighten up your clothes a little bit, Duke!"

Well, I probably shouldn't have straightened his shirt out for him, but I did where many people saw that and that was that! So, what?

"Hey, you, Jizzy, get over here and talk to me about who is in control of that camera right up there and the live streams on Chang and on Clicky Clock! It's catching me a bad angle!"

Oh, Lannie must have been referring to her bad camera angle as being outside of the "it" party! Oh, I just made a play on a character, tee he. Also, my hair almost pales to Lannie's hair.

"Lannie, for once, I'm in total control of everything! Well, everything on the outside of the building, so?"

"Oh, and are you in control of your leakage then, Jizzy? I mean, not yet anyways, but boys have been known to leak a little when they get excited and in that black costume that your sprouting, I mean, the way I see it, Jizzy, you have access to a lot of guys all night and you're a huge flirt and I'm sure you're going to brag all night about your two blue lightning bolts across this butt [squeeze, squeeze] that more than a few side fags want a piece of, so, well, you need to be (whisper, milked, whisper) and even though I can't do that for you, I mean, I'll be very generous and deliberate as I'm changing into one of the spare Wednesday costumes that I know you have hidden somewhere inside of the rental hall, so?"

Oh, I wasn't falling for that!

"Powder room visit, ladies, powder room visit time, pre assigned ladies, line up and follow me!"

Well, Lannie said she would be very generous and deliberate, right? I mean, I like boobs, so.

[Huh, a slow, deliberate and generous exchange of clothing from Lannie's side. And a hand off of a single square of tissue paper as a catch cloth]

"Tee he, um, I guess all guys do it differently then, right, Jizzy?"

[Whoever invented undies that were best changed by bending over is the king! King of the world]

And what Lannie meant by that was that I should release a tutorial video, right?

[Flip, find it, flop, search again, flip, slip, oops, flop, ugh, find it, slip, flip, flop]

"LOL, try a cigarette grip, Jizzy, tee he."

Huh? Girls think they know everything! But, huh, who knew that would work better?

[Flick, flick, flick, flick, oh-oh, ahh, aww, ooh, oh, what's this?]

Hah! Well, girls can side step fast! I mean, boom, splash, sploosh, spew, blast!

"LOL, oozy drizzle from the get go is cute, Jizzy! And it's clear."

Well, clear is my favorite color, so.

[Reaches down for a drizzle dribble dab and tastes it. Lannie, not Jizzy]