Jo Jaye 01

Jo Jaye 01

By the event calendar, that fateful evening should have been just a normal Friday night down at the old abandoned movie theater, but the vibes in the air started to change all that and it felt like the changes in the winds would bring nothing but trouble from the shadows. And then, out of the shadows, crept in anyone's worse nightmare. Well, my worst nightmare anyways because I knew that sooner or later, the spooky that lived in the shadows would come for me. And not just because I don't wear pink.

[The normal crew is mingling, talking and laughing]

[Creeping from the shadows as if tippy toeing on egg shells]

"Ahem!"

"What the hell is this? Who are you and what's with all the cork in your platform shoes?"

"We're the Snippy crew and we've come to speak with Jo Jaye. And we got it from a good source that you people actually step on the "ground", ewe, so our footwear is sturdy, appropriate and fashionable., so what?"

[Jo Jaye (hi, that's me) runs off in a hustle, fem boy wheezing all the way towards his truck]

"Ahem!"

"What?"

[Jo Jaye (hey, there, hey) trots back, still huffing and puffing, but clinking, clink, clink, clink]

"Is your crew custom that your guests have to ask for an individual serving size bottle of Champagne then? And a piece of cardboard or something to stand on?"

[Wheeze, clink, tumble, wobble, bump, push, smash, wheezing, stumble, clink, clink]

"(Wheeze) Todd, (wheeze), Todd, (wheeze), I can't open, I can't (wheeze) open, here, here."

"Ahh, SOB, Jo Jaye!"

[De-foil, pop, fizz, de-foil, pop, fizz, de-foil, pop, fizz]

"Thank you, Mr. Todd. You have a nice leather jacket, but you wear it wrong. And you can catch your breath, Jo Jaye, we'll deal with you in a moment. Lilly Anne, is this one to the left of Jo Jaye her then?"

"[Bubble gum pops] That's Zoe, that's her, Millie Maye, so what?"

"Can you work with her hair then, Lilly Anne?"

"[Bubble gum pops] I can, Millie Maye, I can work with her hair, so what?"

"And Martha Jean, the other one, just behind Jo Jaye then, hmm?"

"[Bubble gum pops] That's Chloe, that's her, Millie Maye, so what?"

"Hmm, so my brother isn't so stupid after all then, hmm?"

"[Bubble gum pops] She's an angel, Millie Maye, a real Saturn Girlfriend, so what?"

[Huh, pieces of cardboard actually show up as make shift carpet then, huh?]

"Thank you, Jo Jaye. Any chance one of your brutes can walk our little hand held doggies to the designated tinkle area for us, hmm?"

"(Wheeze), Stan, Stan (wheeze), Stan, please."

"Alright, enough of this snippy junk! What the hell is going on? And you can just have Jo Jaye! He's kind of a pain in the ass anyways, so. And what's wrong with the way I wear my jacket?"

"And what's so wrong with my hair, Miss Snippy?"

"Zoe, you're hot, but you hide it. Plus, I have it from a good source that you are Jo Jaye's muscle. And Todd, you need a woman's touch, that's all. Am I right about that, Lilly Anne?"

"[Bubble gum pops] A woman's touch, Millie Maye, that's all, so what?"

"And just who is your stupid brother and why would I even consider being his Solar System Girlfriend then, hmm, Miss Snippy?"

"Martha Jean, please."

"[Bubble gum pops] It's Jake, Jake the solar system guy, that's who, so what?"

"Oh, that Jake (shy's head downward)."

"[Bubble gum pops] It's true love, Chloe, that's all, so what?"

"Alright, this is BS. Speak your peace and get out of here! We don't mix with the Snippy crew! And just who is your good source for all this info then, hmm?"

"Martha Jean, please."

"(Bubble gum pops] It's Billy Bob Willy Dean Ray, that's all, so what?"

[Oh no, Jo Jaye (hey, hey) lowers his spikey hair covered head]

[Not that Jo Jaye (yoo-hoo) and Billy Bob Willy Dean Ray have a slight history]

"Anyways, our snooty boyfriends want to have a party and our good source reminded us that Jo Jaye knocked it out of the park late last summer at my momma's garden party with his specialty party food, so we'll trade three hours of Jo Jaye in my kitchen and in return, your crew can attend the party for the same three hours, but none of you can bring an arm, so?"

"[Bubble gum pops] Solo, without arm candy, that's all, so what?"

"Shimmer down, Lilly Anne, but what she said, so?"

"Again, this is all BS! Jo Jaye may have managed to fit his fem boy ass into our crew, but cooking skills? Hah! But you can have him anyways."

"Lilly Anne, please read the review."

"[Bubble gum pops] Fem boy chef wows the up turned nose society garden party with the best ever shredded roast beef sliders and the most perfect oozing warm cheddar cheese topping, so what?"

"Martha Jean, please add."

"[Bubble gum pops] And we sort of cuck all of our boyfriends and make them jack off into the snooty sweaters they wear around their necks, so what?"

"OMFG, Martha Jean! Not that "add", the other "add", jeez."

"[Bubble gum pops] And our boyfriends deserve a good sports meal for some stupid basketball games on TV, so what?"

"Lilly Anne???"

"[Bubble gum pops] And we're not trying to steal your valuable fem boy from your crew, even though it's all the rage for a crew to have such a soft boy, the length of a game watch party will give us a chance to figure out how all that works so we can start our own search, that's all, so what?"

"Martha Jean????"

"[Bubble gum pops] It's a good trade, movie theater crew, more like a tie than selling your souls, that's all, so what?"

"So, Mr. Todd????"

[Huddle, mumble, grumble (without me, hey there), hiss, hiss, chance for planetary Boyfriend, mumble, grumble, my hair, am I really hot, hiss, mumble, hiss, grumble, those short skirts, grumble, small dogs in purses, mumble, grumble, the way the hang their purses in their elbows, hiss, break]

"Ahem, Zoe deserves an arm, so?"

[Huddle, gossip, gossip, in the upper floor bathroom, mumble, grumble, with a woman's touch, mumble, grumble, perfect for "couple" selfies, hiss, hiss, ga, ga, ga, mumble, ugh, ugh, ugh, break]

"If Zoe doesn't have to fend off our boyfriend's friends from fagging Jo Jaye all night, Zoe can choose her first chair, so?"

[Huddle, (mwah air kiss, folks) Jo Jaye ugh, ugh, ugh material, mumble, grumble, poke, poke, gulp, hiss, grumble, mumble, first chair choice, damn it, hiss, hiss, grumble, what's a little ooh, ooh, ooh on the side then, grumble, mumble, break]

"Well."

"I thought so. Jo Jaye, text me with your list of ingredients and they will be there, along with black and purple latex serving gloves. Lilly Anne????"

"[Bubble gum pops] We need six of you parking lot brutes to carry us to our Snippy crew limo now to keep us from walking the ground, so what?"

Well, I clearly choose the wrong crew to mold into! The only person who ever carried me to the truck was Billy Bob Willy Dean Ray and it only took so long because I'm pretty formal and I say his name at the beginning and at the end of each sentence or question and that adds extra time, LOL, so what?

"SOB! This is better than our "Formal" back in school. Jo Jaye, did you set this up because you miss hanging out with Billy Bob Willy Dean Ray and that you want your short history to be a bigger history?"

"[Teeth chatting] Zoe, I'm shaking in my shoes from this! But SOB, look at that kitchen!"

"And just when were you going to tell the crew that you could cook, hmm? And please tell me that's a huge roast beef thingy in that bag and not someone's head. Also, ah, is this sex for you then, Jo Jaye?"

"Oh, I may have mentioned something about my kitchen skills after I was promoted from the bottom rung of the ladder. And maybe that meat slicer and shredder that I'm spying right now is a little sexy, LOL, so what?"

"Oh, don't even start with the bubble gum popping clap backs, Jo Jaye! And just when are you going to say something about my blown out and super shiny hair then, hmm?"

"Oh, what can I say, Zoe? It's amazing and I can see my reflection in it, so?"

"Jealous, Jo Jaye?"

"Shut it, Zoe, but maybe. Where is Chloe then?"

"Just over there, LOL, talking with her new universal boyfriend, Jake, so what?"

[Mwah, ummah, smack, oomph, Saturn tilts this way, Chloe, ummah, so soft]

[Mwah, ummah, smack, oomph, touch my Neptune's, Jake]

Huh, so, searching through the solar system goes like that then?

"Ahem! That's enough of the star gazing, Jo Jaye! Your lips have landed on your fair share of planets already. Anyways, I know why you and Billy Bob Willy Dean Ray take so long with things, so tell me when things in the kitchen are simmering or just need a watchful eye and go you know, wander off with Billy Bob Willy Dean Ray and you know, say his name over and over to prolong the wandering."

I mean, it's not like I don't use his real name, which is Earl, to prolong things or anything like that, but Billy Bob Willy Dean Ray likes the way my lips land on him, so.

"Martha Jean, please???"

"[Bubble gum pops] It's not like we're trying to steal you, Jo Jaye, but we made up the shed for you to talk with Billy Bob Willy Dean Ray as you wander off together from his charms, so what?"

"Lilly Anne, please????"

"[Bubble gum pops] Zoe was naked me while I blew her hair out, so what?"

"Lilly Anne!"

"[Bubble gum pops] Your friend, Chloe, will have the rings of Saturn on her finger soon enough anyways, so what?"

"Jo Jaye, we're a snippy crew, but we're good people and all, so we'll leave with your thoughts about submitting to the Snippy crew once or twice a month and???"

"[Bubble gum pops] And there is a servant outfit for you to change into in the bedroom shed, so what?"

"[Bubble gum pops] And Billy Bob Willy Dean Ray can show you way to the shed, Jo Jaye, so what?"

"And???"

"[Bubble gum pops] And we know that Billy Bob Willy Dean Ray pops off quicker when you call him Earl, so what?"

"[Bubble gum pops] And I was Zoe's first, first chair when I blew out her hair down there, so what?"

"Lilly Anne!"

"[Bubble gum pops] And we choose you, Jo Jaye to be our fem boy crew member, so what?"

I mean, I searched all over Chang and I couldn't really find anything that said I had to commit to one and only one crew, so? Also, huh, so, well to do snippy people have sheds that are just this close to being a bedroom then, huh? Like with a little cot bed and accent lighting? And a clothing rack bar? With a servant outfit and more hanging on it?

"LOL, I've never changed in front of you Billy Bob Willy Dean Ray, tee, he."

"That's your butt in just undies then, Jo Jaye?"

"Tee, he, so what? We're out of time, Billy Bob Willy Dean Ray."

I mean, I thought we were short on time, so

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, pump, thrust, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam]

"Ugh, ugh, oh, ugh, why did you just happen to have a condom, Billy Bob Willy Dean Ray, ugh, ugh."

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, pump, thrust, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam]

"Oh, ooh, ooh, oh, who said this, oh, ooh, um, um, um, Billy Bob Willy Dean Ray, ow, ow, ow."

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, pump, thrust, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam]

"I give, oh, oh, Earl, Earl, Earl, I give, oh, oh, ooh, Earl, Earl."

[Thump, pump, thrust, argh, argh, argh, argh, oh, oh, ahh, ahh, ooh, ooh, ahh]

"(Wheeze), join the Snippy crew, Jo Jaye, huff, puff, huff."

"That is not going to be a regular thing, Billy Bob Willy Dean Ray!"

"LOL, you liked it better than you're crying about, Jo Jaye!"

"Well, so what?"

End Jo Jaye 01