All Comments on 'Jock Girl's Nerd Boy Ch. 02'

Always enjoy these crazy stories, you always described them to where I feel like I'm there. Very good reading.

Also I notice that you used both British terminology and in both part 1 and part 2, the thing is that the story from part 1 and 2 takes place in an American setting. I don’t mind if you use British terminology if it takes place in the United Kingdom, but being an American setting, it’s makes it weird when you have American characters saying bloke, bloody, shag. So before you start writing you need to figure out if your setting takes place in the right country, because it does make it confusing with the reader.

Another thing(for future stories) is that you should try to make the VERY femdom female characters and the VERY submissive male characters more different and original then . It’s good to have inspirations, but at the same time, you should try to make your story more different and original. Here’s some examples:

-non rich very femdom female character x very rich and very submissive male character

-normal very femdom male character x normal very submissive male character

-nerd very femdom female character x nerd(and not nerd) very submissive male character

-Delinquent very femdom female character x very submissive male character

-stories with dark subjects

-different genres

Those are mostly examples to choose from, and it can help to broaden the audience and trying new things. You already did that in few of your stories like The She-Wolf's Human Mate, Slutty Father, Pimping Him Out, His Crush's Best Friend, Getting What She Wants, Fucking Her Teacher, Becoming his bully’s boyfriend. I like these kind of stories and I do hope that you try to keep something similar like that or the examples above.

Also, I know it’s fictional, but try to make the characters more human. You don’t rarely see jocks bullied nerds like the stereotypes you seen in movies(at least from my experience from 2016 to 2020), making your characters humans makes it hit home to the readers. Especially you’re making a story with a dark subject, you don’t stereotypes to make your story cringy and annoying. So your next project, focus on that part because it’ll make your story much better.

One more thing, try to make the very femdom female characters touching the very submissive male characters butts. It’s hot, it’s a turn on, and it’s sexy. It shows power, domination, with high and mighty. You should try that in your next stories.

All in all I enjoyed your work and you do have potential, so take these as helpful advice, they can really help your next stories.

- Dillon

I like this story, and really enjoy that you emphasize a good future in the final part.

I should have made it plain but the use of the British terms is meant to show that this story takes place in the United Kingdom. This one does not take place in America. In fact, some of my other stories are also unspecified so you can imagine them taking place in other countries as you wish. As for your remarks about different plots, I have always used rich female/poor male characters because it adds to the power dynamics, but will look to incorporate your suggestions into my writing.

[28.07.22]

Fun series, Top Shelf writing!

11/10!!!!!

I liked the first one much better - the implied blackmailing (or not so implied) in this part detracted from the enjoyment of what otherwise is a fun and good series.

The one where a college girl hates her friends BF, but fucks him?

This should be in nonconsent. She is blackmailing him and threatening to have him put in prison as a sex offender and his dad fired...That is not how you show you love someone.

Good plot particularly as the female is taking him: inverts the usual story-line: every man's dream! Under-pinned by affection, not just lust which puts this story on the top shelf.

Brilliantly wrote , i loved how she kinda blackmailed him softly (even though i doubt she's gonna do something like that , i know she did it cause' she knew he's so turned on for her based on her personality) , even though i did get some problems imagining a shy nerd being so slutty asking to make him hers so soon, I'd have enjoyed more if he would've been shown more silent with both words and actions especially the former one and just let her dominate him atleast initially. Anyways a top tier one for sure , i hope you'll come back with another such type of stories author