Joey is Joie 01

Joey is Joie 01

Hi, my name is Joey, although catching me as Joie isn't unheard of if you're in the right place at the right time. I have been blessed with looking a lot like my twin sister, Valerie, which is pretty much how all of this started out. Valerie and I certainly had our sibling issues over the years, but she never looked down on me for dressing like her. Or at least not to my face. And I'm not saying that she supported me, but she didn't start a petition to have me thrown out of the group of shared friends either.

Anyways, I enjoyed a little popularity because of Valerie and I took advantage of that at gatherings, parties and just generally hanging out in various places, LOL, if Valerie didn't object to me being there. But when she didn't object, I took full advantage of the attention I would get, even if it was short lived. My role seemed to be that of a flirty tease more than anything else, but the moments were precious and I jumped all over each opportunity to engage with any and all of her guy friends. LOL, for 30 minutes or so, which was about all Valerie would allow me to hang out.

In other words, I didn't have any serious inquiries, but I got my 15 minutes of fame on a regular basis.

Well, I decided to change things a little last July when our 22nd birthday rolled around. I mean, her friend's Bob and Julia didn't exactly include me all of the birthday activities, but Julia gave me my 30 minutes for the cookout they had for Valerie. I mean, LOL, I had a burger and that was about that. But I had a monkey wrench, which I threw into the mix just as I was forced to say my good byes. I used my last few moments to say my good byes to a select group of people and did my best to let them know that my house would be available for a small after party later that night. I mean, it was my 22nd birthday weekend too, right?

And I play it super cool. I knew I would have enough time to duplicate the Denim shorts and pullover shirt that my twin was wearing, well, the shirt wouldn't be exact, but it would be close enough. And it's not as if I had a plan or anything, but you know how it goes at cookouts, right? LOL, roaming eyes seem to be everywhere.

"What in the hell do you think you doing little Bro throwing a after party for my friends?"

"Well, first of all, you're only 23 seconds older than me and second of all, you've been eye balling Nate since I arrived, so who knows what transpire tonight at my house where you know, the party will continue. I mean, your boyfriend Danny has had too much to drink as usual, right?"

"You suck!"

"Well, not yet."

"Fine, you experimented!"

Oops, it was time to exit stage left. By the way, I'm innocent.

Now, why I just happened to have extra birthday food and beverages in house isn't important because as I just told you, I hadn't pre-planned anything and I'm totally innocent. Oh, wait, it's my birthday weekend, so that's why I had extra food and beverages on hand. Yeah, that's it. Just in case a few people wanted to drop by all on their own and unexpectantly to me. Yeah, that's it.

Now, why I went home and brightened up my lips with the most striking red I could find wasn't as innocent, but I had guests coming over and I wanted to stand out for once and not be ignored. So, you know, bright sparkly blue eye shadow was a must too.

Oh, and to be absolutely clear, Valerie's friend Tina was one of my most important invitees. She doesn't exactly support me, but her jeans were fire and I had to know where she got them, so I stopped at the store on the way home and picked up her favorite beverage, Raspberry Vodka.

"There you go Valerie and happy birthday baby. See you Tuesday night like usual?"

Oops, ah, has my sister been getting a little too friendly with the clerk at the "Stop & Rob" convenience store?

"Thanks Sid, but can't we go to a cheap hotel sometime? Sucking your cock behind the dumpster isn't exactly fun for me."

"Oh, baby, I've been waiting to hear you say that. I mean, to get you on your belly with your cute ass pointing up at me is my dream. Here, take another bottle of vodka and don't wait so long to come back for one of our special visits."

Oh yeah, that's the dirt I had been looking for, right? Whatever, that was for another day because time had slipped by and I heard a few cars start to pull into my driveway.

"Bro, I mean, Joie, I appreciate you opening up your home for my friends to allow the good times to roll on, but I'll get you back for this because you dressed just like me and Tina is my witness to that. I mean, this is my birthday weekend celebration, not yours."

Oh, I've been hearing that forever, so I gave up on that long ago.

"Oh, and speaking of Tina with the whip ass jeans on, um, Tina, there is Raspberry Vodka in the kitchen. One bottle courtesy of Sid from the Stop & Rob" convenience store, you know, the store that Valerie visits on Tuesday nights."

Oh, yeah, there were the big eyes I knew that she had in her. LOL, and it was the first time ever that she didn't have something smart to say back to me. Um, LOL, please continue Tina while Valerie bites her tongue, right?

"Hah, well, thanks for the vodka and thanks for noticing my jeans, but you're still a faggot, faggot."

Oh, well, I didn't plan on things starting out like all that.

"Alright, easy with the name calling. I just want to know where you got those jeans and if you'll fix my hair to more closely match Valerie's ponytail. We can use the mirror in my bedroom, I mean, if you can handle being alone in a bedroom with a faggot. Besides, I have something else to ask you, in private."

And there it is! No matter how hard Valerie has to bite her tongue, LOL, nothing lasts forever.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what the hell is going on here?"

"Easy Valerie. You just stay out here and keep eye balling Nate and keep feeding your boyfriend more beer so he'll pass out, you know, like usual."

"You have some kind of plan, Bro?"

"Oh, I have a plan. I mean, Danny has already grabbed my ass twice tonight, so I should be able to lure him away quite easily, which will give you a few more minutes to twirl on your tippy toes as you try to lure Nate away. So, assuming there are no further questions, this way, Tina."

By the way, damn, that girl can wear a pair of jeans, right? By another way, huh, who knew I could stump Valerie like that? Or she was building up lightning bolts in her eyes, either, I led Tina away and into my faggot bedroom.

"Alright faggot, take a seat and let's get this over with. Also, you suck at making a simple ponytail. Anyways, what did you have to say and you better start treating your sister better, mister! She's my bestie, you know."

"Well, as you know, Valerie doesn't let me hang out with the cool people for very long, so I have been going to park down by the river every couple of weekends. I don't want to say that I met someone, but I've made a friend who likes to keep me company while I'm there."

"What, like a boyfriend?"

"Well, up to this point, more like a chaperon so to speak. He sits with me on one of the park tables."

"And this matters to me how? Oops, and this matters to me how, faggot?"

"Um, you and he may work together at the Deli. I'm not saying anything, but it would be nice to know if I'm an interest to him or is he just interested in protecting me from the park lurkers. His name is Josh."

"OMFG, you're the one he's been talking about?!?!? Oh, sweetie, he wants to plow you deep! I mean, yeah, Josh has been talking about a someone that he met down at the park. OMG, he wants to, OMG, you need some sex lube and condoms sugar. I mean, he wants to go all ugh, ugh, ugh and then ooh, ooh, ooh and then he wants to go all, push back baby, push back hard. Oops, I mean, yeah, Josh has been talking about someone he met recently down in the park and he's interested. I'll mention to him on Tuesday that you're my besties little brother, ah, sister, ah, he knows, right?"

Oh, is life really that easy? I mean, Josh has brushed up against me and we've hugged it out, but that's about all. I would have never figured for all that "he wants to go deep" stuff.

"He walks me to my car when I leave, so he knows some stuff."

"Damn, I'm flustered over this. Your ponytail is done and I need a vodka shot, quick! Oh, wait, quick, what's the plan for Valerie? OMG, you're going to lure drunk Danny away so she can ride Nate's lap like his lap has never been bronco bucked before, aren't you? Are you going to let her use your bedroom here? I should clean it up a bit. OMG, I should text Josh too! OMG, I have so much to do and so little vodka in my hands!"

Well, why the hell do I bother making secret plans if they are that obvious? Oh, and I still didn't know where she got her jeans from. But my ponytail looked good. And Valerie was anxiously waiting for me as I came around the hallway corner. I mean, I was hoping that she would leave, but, you know, right?

"What's the plan Bro and why is Tina tipping the vodka bottle like that?"

"Well, apparently, you're about to lure Nate into my bedroom and ride him like a, well, I already forgot what the hell Tina was screaming about, but you're about to dump Danny for good."

"That's stupid! Danny is right there, drinking his beer! You're an idiot, a faggot for sure, but an idiot."

"And with my hair like this I should have him inside of the Den and passed out on the Love Seat in no time flat. By the way, Sid from the "Stop & Rob says hi and he can't wait to take you to a cheap hotel. I mean, the cheap hotel was your idea and all."

"You know, as your sister, it's perfectly legal for me to punch your faggot ass out, but you go first and we'll see how this works. Oh, and if it does work, what do you expect in return, faggot?"

"Oh, nothing much. Just a pair of the jeans that Tina is wearing, you know, like within three days. You know my size, right?"

"So, I don't know what you do in the Den with the soon to be ex-boyfriend and you don't know what I do in your bedroom with my future hubby Nate?"

"Well, kind of, but if you actually read the story above, OMG, I don't do anything and you get pregnant! I just said it like two paragraphs above!"

Was it going to work? LOL, hell, I had no idea, but with the way Danny drank beer, well, anything was possible, so I lowered my head a little and approached him. Drunk and horny guys, right? LOL, they will follow a ponytail anywhere, although I would like to think that he followed the bouncing ball that my behind made in my Denim shorts.

Oh, did it work? Well, duh! Danny flopped down on the Love Seat and closed his eyes and that party was over. Which left me with about 15 minutes to kill, which meant I kept my eye on my phone for a text from Josh, just in case Tina really did text him.

Oh, did some of the other stuff work too? Well, kind of, again. I mean, Tina burst into the Den with a wild look on her face, not to mention that she was wearing a pair of my new cotton capri pants.

"Um, are you decent in here? Oh, I see. So, drunk Danny went all drunk Danny on you, huh? Well, we'll just unzip his cargo shorts just for show. Anyways, I just texted Josh and he's on his way over, so you should freshen up your lip gloss and meet him at the door. Also, I left my jeans for you in your dresser, so you owe me something sissy."

"Oh snap, Josh doesn't know me as a party person, so maybe you can start moving the party along? Also, did you leave your undies for me too?"

"Of course, I did because sissy faggots like you like that kind of weird stuff. So, go get ready and tell me that I own you."

"Ugh."

"Close enough."

Um, not the way I thought things would go, but at least I would know where Josh's head was, right? And I mean I would know that quickly because apparently, Tina texted him 20 minutes ago and he was at the front door.

"Oh, hello Josh, fancy seeing you here tonight. Come on in, even though the PARTY WAS ABOUT OVER!"

Oops, remember earlier when I mentioned that most people ignore me? Screaming stuff just didn't work for me.

"Oh, I'm coming in and you have some explaining to do, Joie. I mean, you're so quiet at the park and look at this party? I mean, my co-worker is chasing people around with a bottle of vodka in her hands and she's clearly going commando under those little pants and then there is that girl over there, who looks a lot like you, well, she's half naked and carrying out the drunk guy and what the hell is with her looking so much like you? I mean, you're so quiet at the park! Also, is Tina really commando tonight and can I spread that around work?"

Hey, Tina was the one who selected the thin cotton capri pants, not me. I mean, I was minding my own business in the Den with a drunk Danny, right? Also, please remember that it was Tina who unzipped his cargo shorts for show, not me.

"Now Josh, it wouldn't be cool of you to spread that around at the Deli. Anyways, concentrate on me and have a beer. Also, the girl who looks like me is my pregnant sister and this is just her engagement party, not my normal kind of thing. Also, that drunk guy she is carrying out is her ex-boyfriend, Danny. Her new boyfriend is the guy over there with the big smile on his face."

By the way, LOL, I wish that was the end of drunk Danny in my life, but he comes back later as the sobbing dumped ex-boyfriend, but that's another problem for another day.

"Ah, come on, I mean the boss wants to go all ugh, ugh, ugh and then ooh, ooh, ooh and then he wants to go all, push back baby, push back hard on Tina, so let me say something."

"Nope, not cool. Concentrate on me and tell me where we're going, Josh. I mean, Tina brought up a good point earlier. I mean, you do know, right?"

"Oh, I know that I want to see your cock flopping around as I go all ugh, ugh, ugh and then ooh, ooh, ooh and then push back baby, push back hard, I mean, if that's what you mean, Joie."

Oh, I didn't mean all that, but since he said it, right?

Oh, and just when I thought Tina was too busy pushing the people out of my front door with the bottle of vodka tucked under her arm.

"Oh, look at you two getting to know one another. Listen, the Renaissance Festival is coming up in a few weeks, so consider that a safe place for you two to be in public. Anyways, I think I have the house just about cleared out, so have fun and Josh, don't you dare say anything about this baby shower party at work."

"Hey, my lips are sealed, Tina."

"Cool, now Joie, don't be shy and seal your lips tightly around Josh's cock and don't forget to tell me all the details about it so I can spread that all around work. We may or may not play a comparison game with the guys vs. Mr. Gene's homemade sausages. It's all harmless fun. Bye now."

Double standards, right? So, bye, Tina, LOL.

"Oh, and Josh, don't give Joie a fighting chance to spit. I mean, go all ugh, ugh, ugh and then ooh, ooh, ooh and then push back baby, push deep on him and shove it right down in there, you know, deep. Nightie, night."

Um, with friends like that, who needs enemies, right? But the house was cleared out, the vodka was all gone and Josh and I were alone, sitting in the dark.

"Josh, I'm going to come clean with you. I have zero sexual experience and no sexual aids such as lube, so if that's important to you, well, we can part on good terms."

"So, I'm going to be your first?"

Nope, I didn't answer that with words, but I did cozy up next to him on the couch and flipped around the channels to keep me busy until Josh took the remote out of my hand, which didn't cause my hand to fall down onto his cotch, but that's where it ended up.

"Did you want to watch TV in my bedroom, Josh?"

Whoa, those were the biggest words that ever came out of my mouth, but I said them and he reacted by standing up.

Did we watch TV? Well, it was on, but it was to my back. Did he watch TV? Well, he could see it from over my head, but I'm pretty sure that my actions had the better of his attention, LOL, no matter how poorly I was probably performing. Oh, did he like me when he got me out of my shell? I'd say so, but that's just me. LOL, was I ever going to let him slip his monster in my butt? Ah, NO. I mean, I knew how stretched out my lips were and there is no way my tight little rose bud would be able to do the same, right? LOL, would I report back to Tina that his sausage would stack up in their fun little game? Well, she did claim me as owned property and you know, right? Those jeans that were so neatly folded in my dresser. And we don't even need to talk about those damp undies, alright?

"Joie, did we just waste six weeks sitting quietly on the park bench when we could have been doing stuff like this all along?"

"Maybe, but we shouldn't just throw this all around. I mean, we should behave as usual at the park. I know you're pretty pleased right now, but I think empty balls make a guy pleased no matter what. So, let's keep this on the down low for now, alright?"

And I guess we sealed that deal with a second time, which should make my next visit to park interesting.

Anyways, I'm blessed to look as attractive as my twin sister and I'm blessed with a new pair of gently worn jeans and I'm blessed to have finally got my first sexual experience out of the way. But, like I said, other curses are yet to come, like the annoying drunk Danny.

End Joey is Joie 01