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"I better go," Kaev said gruffly to Variya. His second nodded, her eyes watching Anahid's retreating back.
Kaev hurried back towards the entrance of the tunnels leading up to his quarters, brushing past a grinning Besqa. By his estimates he would lose another chair but could probably reach Anahid before she could drag their bed out onto the terrace. He wasn't even sure if it would fit through the doors...
He burst into the room as Anahid walked calmly back in from the terrace. She swept her eyes over him, then moved to the bed. She grabbed up one of the thick fur blankets and Kaev stepped toward her, trying to tug the blanket from her.
"Kayl had that table made especially for us," he growled as they both wrenched at the blanket.
"Us?" Anahid snapped at him.
"Yes, us." Kaev ripped the blanket from her and she stumbled forward, fury flashing in her eyes.
"The fated packleader and his mate. Kaev and Anahid. Destined to be together? At the cost of dozens of lives. Perhaps more. Hundreds? How many people HAS Atalanta killed because you couldn't KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS?" she screamed the last few words as she lunged at one of the cups on the stand beside the fire. She snatched it up and then ran back towards the terrace. Kaev growled and chased after her. A moment to slow. She sent the cup arcing into the blue sky with a scream of rage.
"Is this helping? Should I have Kayl send up another few tables and chairs?" he asked.
She whipped back to him and her eyes were black with rage. "You think this is a joke? I want no part of this world you've dragged me into!"
"It's your world."
"I don't want it!" she screamed and lunged at him.
Kaev swept her up in his arms. She smashed her fists against his chest in fury but he still held her. She thrashed, kicking at him and moving her fingers to claw at his face. He was forced to drop her, to grab her wrists up in his hands. She howled, crazed as she struggled against him. He held her tightly, dragged her back into their room, worried he was leaving bruises on her wrists. Still, she bellowed at him, kicked and lunged as she tried to pry him off her.
He tossed her onto the bed. She bounced, shock on her face as she came back to herself for a moment. Then she caught his eye again and her face contorted in rage as she scrambled from him. He lunged at her, crawling across the bed and wrapping his arms again around her. He managed to pin both her arms to her sides and then squeezed. Squeezed until her heard her exhale with a squeak, squeezed until her body finally went limp against his in defeat.
He loosened his arms just enough that she could breathe, but still like a vice he held her to him. The fierce she-wolf panted in his arms. Sucking in strangled breaths as she recovered herself. He bent his head to her ear, "I know it hurts. There is no wrong way to grieve." Kaev sucked in a breath, his own shame welling within him. "But don't push me. You can wound me like no one else on this earth."
She let out a shaking breath, her head slumped forward onto his chest. "I don't deserve this life. Not if it means my family had to die."
He rested his head on hers, began to run his hands soothingly down her back. "You do deserve it. You deserve everything good in this world. It's not your fault." Kaev sighed. "But you're right. It might be mine, and I want to spend the rest of our lives making it up to you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
A sob wracked her. She clung to him now though. Let him give her comfort. She tucked her face into him and let the tears fall. And though she cried Kaev felt the smallest glimmer of hope. Felt the distance that had gaped between them finally begin to close. At least a bit.
~~
Anahid let Kaev hold her. Though confusion and guilt still bubbled within her she let herself be comforted by her mate's warmth, his arms around her. The gentle kisses he dusted her head with. She wondered what burdens she would carry in a few hundred years. How many people she might wrong, how many mistakes she might make? Kaev had made his share, but their lives were now intertwined. There was no going back.
He nuzzled at her ear, his lips moved against her skin and she shivered. Instantly his cock jerked against her, hardening and pressing into her belly. Her body craved. Always. But it still seemed a betrayal. She reached a hand between them, pressed her palm into his stiff length. He moaned against her. She knew he'd held his need down with an iron fist these last few weeks as she'd turned away from him. Somewhere, deep inside her was a guilt for that as well.
But she couldn't bear to let herself give in to her own lust. Not yet. So she pulled from him, slid down his body. He watched her go, hunger and curiosity in his eyes. She tugged at his pants, pulled them down to free his bulging member. Anahid focused only on his cock as she took him into her mouth. Though the sight, the feel, the smell of him all set alive that throbbing ache within her she ignored it. Focused only on him. He was still her mate after all.
She swirled her tongue around the bulbous tip, greedily licked at the bit of pre-cum. Deeper she took him, sucking and running her tongue along the sensitive underside. She traced the seam of him, flicked at the tip with her tongue again. Ever so lightly she dragged her teeth along him, was rewarded by him jerking in eagerness. His cock twitched inside her mouth as she grasped her hand around him as well, gripping hard and moving it in time with her mouth. Her other hand held his heavy balls, gently kneading and tugging as she worked.
He was panting and arching against her in only a few short minutes. She let him thrust lightly into her mouth as she moved, allowed herself a look to his face as she took him to the edge. He watched her, a feverish gleam in his eyes. She looked back down, unwilling to focus too long on his lovely face, on his dangerous eyes. She wanted no pleasure herself. His entire length throbbed as he began to climax, the surge of his hot seed pulsed against her tongue, erupted into her throat with a guttural moan from him. He convulsed, thrusting his hips into her face and she tugged lightly at his balls, extending his pleasure, sucking him dry. When he went limp again in the bed, a small smile playing across his face she stood. Swiping her hand across her mouth she turned and left the room, ignoring his murmured protest as she closed the door behind her.
~~
Anahid walked through the halls. She tried to tell herself she wasn't running from Kaev. But she was. She knew it was irrational but the idea of giving in to him. Of taking his comfort. Of letting herself go felt like killing her family all over again. She couldn't punish the vampires. She couldn't punish Kaev any longer. So, she could punish herself. She came to baths, hoping to have some quiet time to herself. Instead, she heard several wolves within, she paused, pricked her ears as she heard her name. She pressed herself to the wall, listened to the conversation within the baths.
"...he lets her get away with too much. You should have seen her, crying like a babe over the humans," Cobb said gruffly. "Wasn't she Varick? Kaev should have punished her then for running off. Putting us in danger."
"They were her family," Varick's voice, soft and lacking the normally joking tone of his.
A woman's laugh, high and lilting. Besqa. "Cattle. They served their purpose. Cobb's right, she needs to learn her place."
"Of course I am," Cobb snickered loudly and Anahid heard splashing. Besqa squealed, giggling in protest at Cobb.
Anahid's face burned. Half of her wanted to storm into the room, the other half longed to flee. To run from this place. She turned from the door. Froze as she heard light steps behind her. Looking back she watched Varick exit, twitch in surprise as he say her. Anahid glowered at him, turned to hurry away again.
"Anahid," he whispered as he hurried after her. He fell in step with her, and she tried to ignore him. His scent of fresh sea salt, his tall, lithely muscular frame as he paced next to her. He tried to place a hand on her arm but she jerked from him, flashing a warning up at him with her glittering eyes.
"Are you all right?" he said softly, pulling his hand away but keeping pace with her. She hurried blindly through the halls, not knowing where she walked, just knowing she needed to move.
"Of course I'm not," she finally said, her voice low. Measured.
"Would you like to talk?" he asked.
"No."
He chuckled. "Okay." Still, he followed along as they wound through the halls. Anahid found herself choosing paths that sloped up. Higher and higher they climbed. Eventually they stepped out a high archway into a large open terrace. Anahid had never been here before. She sucked in a breath, walked towards the edge. They stood at the top of the Lycan compound. The wind tugged at her long hair and she turned her face up to the late afternoon sun. Standing at the edge of the terrace she could see the entire valley. Far below was the practice ground. Further out the fields, a large herd of goats.
"Wow," she whispered, hugging her arms around herself as she took in the view.
"You've never been here?" Varick asked coming up beside her.
"No," she said, still refusing to look up at him.
"And here I thought you led me to a secret tryst," he said, the joking tone back in his voice.
She snorted, finally glanced up to him. His smooth brown eyes watched her, crinkling in good humor. Kaev's words rose in Anahid's ears "You don't wonder how his cock feels?" She reddened, looked away from the striking man next to her.
"Why follow me?" she asked, taking a step away, keeping her back stiff against him.
"Because we're packmates. You needed someone."
Anahid laughed harshly. "Not you."
He didn't respond and Anahid spared a glance up to him. The injured look on his face pierced her. He'd always been kind, he didn't deserve that. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I don't know what I'm saying, what I'm feeling."
He studied her, finally rested a hand on her shoulder. "You're a wounded animal. You lash out, you attack, you run, you play dead." He shrugged, a bit of humor returning to his eyes. "You murder tables."
"I need to apologize to Kayl for that," she said with a soft chuckle, finally allowing her shoulders to loosen. Varick barked a laugh and surprised her by throwing an arm over her shoulders. He pulled her close to his side.
"If anything, she'll take it as a challenge to build an indestructible table," he snickered.
They stood for a long time looking out over the valley. Watched as the sun sunk below the trees. Anahid found herself leaning into his steady presence. He didn't envelop her like Kaev...but on some level she felt at home with Varick as well. He was right, they were a pack, they belonged to each other. He was not so different from the easy camaraderie she'd found with Sim, the welcoming friendship of Kayl. So she didn't mind when he lowered his head, kissed her lightly on the crown of her head. He lingered, inhaling the scent in her hair. She wondered if he smelled Kaev still on her?
~~
Kaev paced across the gathering hall. He hadn't seen Anahid since she'd slipped from their room over an hour before. No one had seen her either. He felt the adrenaline coursing through him. Worry lit his veins. Variya swore she couldn't have left the compound, that she had to be somewhere within their twisting halls. Still, Kaev looked out towards the forest. Could Anahid have slipped away?
The rest of the pack was quietly gathering for dinner, several were already stretched in the ringed pit though Cobb was still assembling the large fire in the center. Variya had sent several wolves to search the compound for Anahid, but still Kaev paced, barely controlling his mounting panic.
A murmur stirred at the far end of the hall and Kaev sensed her then. He whipped around, froze as he watched her enter the gathering hall. Varick strolled at her side. No, strolled wasn't a strong enough word. The young wolf practically pranced. A growl rose, deep within his throat as a foreign feeling reared within him. Jealousy. He supposed it was jealousy. He'd never felt it before. In a pack everything was shared. Even mated pairs could enjoy pleasure with others...but the thought of Anahid turning to Varick to comfort her when she'd been so cold the last few weeks. It was unbearable.
He stalked towards the two, Varick shrunk under his eyes, slid away from Anahid as he approached. Anahid glanced at the other man's retreating back, then slid her eyes to Kaev. She frowned. Kaev crossed the distance in a few quick strides and grabbed her arm. "Where have you been? I was worried sick. Variya has been searching for you for an hour." He spoke softly, his worry turning to rage within his belly as he dragged her after him.
She tried to wrench her arm from his hand, but he tightened his grip as he tugged her. "I was just walking. I found the overlook. The sunset was lovely," she spat out as he dragged her.
"You enjoyed it with Varick?" he asked, barely tamping down the anger in his voice.
She laughed harshly but stopped trying to pull her arm from him. "Is the great Kaev jealous?"
"Of Varick?" he snorted derisively. "I think not."
"I do wonder how his cock feels. I wonder how his gentle hands would feel on my skin. I wonder what he might do with that laughing tongue of his." She slapped each word against his back as he dragged her through the halls.
He growled as he kicked the door open to their quarters. He shoved her into the room and menacingly slammed the door behind them. "I don't give a fuck what you let Varick do to you. You still belong to me." He took a step toward her. She set her shoulders, met his furious gaze with one of her own. "If you're so curious I could call him up here. Order him to do whatever I want to your body. And he would do it. He would fuck you until you screamed in agony."
That finally snapped her from her challenging defiance. Her eyes widened and she stepped back. His anger was too high. The worry of the last hour had transformed into rage. For weeks she'd shut him out, blamed him for the deaths of her family. Punished him. He was still the Pack Leader though. If treating her with loving patience resulted in this defiant little she-wolf then perhaps a new tact was needed. He took another step toward her and she shrank back.
He lunged at her, grabbed her by the throat. "Is this what you want Anahid?" he swiveled, tossed her onto the bed. "You can punish me all you want. But you will not use my pack to do it."
He turned from her. Her wide, frightened eyes had snapped him back to himself. Though his blood still ran hot within his veins he couldn't bear for her to look at him like that again. He still couldn't bear to hurt her. Even though it seemed she pleaded with him to do so.
~~
Anahid watched Kaev's back. Fear still rippled through her as she warily watched him. He stared into the fire and she saw by the tensing of his thick neck, his powerful back that he worked to control his rage. She knew she prodded at him. She hadn't known why. What it was she wanted. She remembered Varick's words. She was a wounded animal. She just wanted everyone else to hurt along with her. She shivered, the cruel look in Kaev's eyes was new. His threat had terrified her. Not so much the idea of Varick fucking her...more that Kaev could force him. Was that true? Would Varick...would ANY wolf in the pack do anything Kaev ordered?
She clutched her arms around herself as she continued to watch him. Her fear eventually cooled to simple anxiety. Still Kaev stood motionless across the room. What HAD made him so angry? If he wasn't jealous of Varick, what then? As if sensing her question he finally turned back to her. His eyes were careful now, sad as they took her in.
"I could not bear to lose you. I thought you'd made a run for it again. You must promise me you will not leave the valley." His low voice rumbled across the space between them. She felt the fear in it, the worry...the love. He pleaded with her.
Anahid's breath hitched in her throat. Tears welled in her eyes. "I told you I would never leave your side. I promise."
Kaev slumped, dropping his head in relief, and turning back to the fire. Anahid slipped from the bed, moved up behind him. Though he towered over her she wrapped her arms around his waist, tried to mold her small body around his massive one.
He clasped her hands in his rough palms. Tugged her around so she faced him. He looked at her so intently, those dark gray eyes so earnest. "I'm sorry." He kissed her head. "I wasn't prepared for how having a mate would change me. I'm the pack leader. For hundreds of years my word has been law in this valley. But you, you leap into my life and defeat me. With any other wolf I can just punish them, force their obedience..." he trailed off. "But I cannot hurt you Anahid."
"Unless I want you to," she whispered, remembering his words all those weeks ago, before she'd gone through the change.
~~
Kaev snorted a surprised laugh and squeezed her to his chest. "Yes." He pulled back, lifted her chin so he could see her eyes. She stared up at him, the anger, the fear, the emptiness was gone. Her look was almost...playful? "Do you want me to?" he asked quietly as he ran a thumb along her jaw.
He felt her swallow. She still held his gaze. "I'm sorry for trying to rile you today. And for breaking our table. And for these last weeks. I haven't been the best mate."
He leaned down, kissed her gently. "But you're MY mate. And I think you're perfect."
She finally, finally returned his kiss. Pressed herself against him and he surged with lust for her. He'd missed her. Missed her arms around him. Her lips against his. The soft moan from deep within her throat. Kaev wrapped her in his arms, slowly lowered her to the cushions in front of the fire. His tongue quested into her mouth, sensual and teasing as he traced her lips, stroked at her tongue. He moved to her neck, ran his lips along her heated skin. Coming to her bare shoulder he paused, sniffed. He could smell Varick on her. Glancing up he found her eyes on him, heavy with need.
"He touched you here," Kaev whispered.
Anahid slowly blinked, nodded. He returned to kissing her, ran his tongue over her shoulder, washed away the scent of Varick. Her loose dress unfortunately covered her breasts and he'd never hear the end of it if he ripped another...so he moved on. Running his fingers over the silky fabric he brushed her nipples, slid down further, pressed his hand against her smooth stomach. Lower he moved. He found the hem of the dress, ran it through his fingers then pulled it up. He glanced up to her, she still watched him, large green eyes heavy and unblinking.
He pushed the dress up her thighs, letting his fingers run along her soft skin. Was rewarded by her shiver of anticipation. Like unwrapping a gift, he revealed her waiting mound as he pushed the dress up to her waist. She sighed, squirmed slightly under him as her sex felt the air. He lowered his head, breathed in her scent, exhaled and was rewarded by a quiver from her swelling folds.
She was so sensitive. It drove him mad how his lightest touch could awaken the need in her. He kissed her gently on the thigh, trailed his lips towards her waiting pussy. Pressing his lips into her he kissed deeply, letting his tongue move slowly against her. She was so soft, so welcoming. So wet. He moved his tongue deeper, questing into her folds. She gasped as he pushed against her entrance, her legs instinctively clenching around his head. He grabbed at them, pressed against her thighs and splayed her wide. She moaned, bucked against him as he pressed his face harder into her. Still he moved his tongue, retreating from her entrance to swipe up to her quivering nub. With a quick circle he teased it, then moved back down to take her folds into his mouth in another deep kiss. Gently he licked back up, tickled at her clit until she bucked against him, letting out long whines of pleasure.
