Jojo's Quest

"I think I can come up with something. I'll get back with you tomorrow. Will four questions be enough?"

"Sure. I'll get some sort of display thing set up and you get the questions ready."

The next day Keith came in with a cute little plywood display panel. It had four lights on it, each with a pull chain hanging down.

They were different colors: red, yellow, blue and green. If a guy got the green light lit, JOJO would go on a date with him. Below each light were two boxes. The top box held the question that had to be answered and the bottom box had the right answer. Each box had a small padlock and JOJO got to keep the keys. Keith gave her a couple of 3 X 5 index cards to write the Q and A's on. JOJO hung the keys on her belt. When the guy put in his fiver he got the first question. If he answered it right then JOJO pulled the chain on the red light and gave him the second question. If he got it right the yellow light came on and so on. She was a little anxious about the whole thing and told Keith that if it didn't work out like she wanted it to, she was going to bail. He convinced her to just give it a shot.

The first week there was over forty entries put in the basket. The red light came on six times. One guy hit it three times because he knew the answer to the first question but couldn't get the second one. The first question was "You have to order the right drink." The answer was, of course, "a long neck Forster's."

The second question was a little harder but not impossible. "You have to play my favorite song on the junk box." Since there were over three hundred songs on the list it was slowing the guys down. If they had known her real name it would have made it easier but most just knew her as the nun.

Finally, after about six weeks the bar was filled with the eerie sounds of Dolly Parton singing Jolene and the yellow light came on. There was a rousing cheer in the Nasty Hound and a lot of regulars made a mental note of what the song was for future reference. It was funny that the guys were not open about sharing the answers with each other. When a new fellow wanted to play no one would give him the answers to the first two questions. The only one who even knew the third question was keeping quiet. The next month the yellow light came on a few more times but that was as far as anyone got. JOJO felt safe. It didn't look like she was going to have to worry.

JOJO didn't really like being alone. She started jogging everyday and joined a local gym. She was watching her diet and not drinking anything other than an occasional Foster's. She wanted so bad to see Greg again. Where the hell was he? Why didn't he find her? She missed his company and was sorry that she had never really got to enjoy the sex with him that she wanted to. Something had to happen soon. She couldn't wait forever. Where the hell was he?

That Friday the Hound was jammed. She was pumping out drinks for the waitresses as fast as she could. JOJO liked it when it was busy. About ten o'clock she turned on the red light. A short cheer went up across the bar. It was happening more frequently now, so JOJO wasn't too excited about it. It was a guy in a booth on the far side of the bar. Sally, his waitress took the card with the second clue over so he could read it.

A few minutes later the weird wail of Dolly Parton echoed across the room. JOJO perked up her ears a little. Ok. So the guy got two, no big deal. She pulled the chain on the yellow light and a louder cheer was heard across the bar. He didn't come up for the third clue. He asked the waitress to bring it to him along with another Forster's. Sally read it before she took it over to his booth. "You have to drive the right car."

"How will I know if he got it right?" she asked JOJO.

"Bring the car keys back with you."

She kept pumping drinks out and didn't pay too much attention to what was going on. Once, she had glanced over toward the booth and noticed the guy wasn't there so she figured he either left or hit the head.

Finally, Sally came walking across the room with a set of car keys in her hand. JOJO felt a little funny in the stomach. This time it was different than before. She stopped pouring and stood watching Sally. It seemed like it was taking her forever to walk fifty feet. JOJO opened up the number three answer box and put the card face down on the counter. When Sally laid the keys down JOJO turned over the index card. The card said "JEEP CJ7". She turned the key over. The big bold letters hit her in the face. J.E.E.P. JOJO was holding her breath as she turned and tugged the chain on light number three for the first time. When the blue light went on the crown went nuts. Keith came rushing over and stood by JOJO. This was the first time anyone had ever seen it lit. All the hopefuls were trying to see what the car keys were but Sally was hiding them in her hand. JOJO quickly put the answer card back in the box. What the hell were the odds of this happening? Sally took the keys back to the booth. JOJO could see them talking. She couldn't see him, but she could tell he was shaking his head to indicate "NO".

"He said I should bring the last question over to the booth like I did the others. He didn't want to come to the bar. I tried, but he refused. What do you want me to do?" Jolene turned and unlocked question box number four. She laid it on the counter so only Sally, Keith and her could see it.

"You have to have a ten inch dick."

Keith started to laugh out loud. "Well that should make it next to impossible."

JOJO stuttered "Well you told me to make it hard."

Sally blurted out. "I'm not going to make it hard."

"No silly, not his dick. I meant the question."

"I'm still not going to do anything with the guys pecker."

Keith was still laughing. "Just take the card over to the guy, let him read it, and see what he says. I'll bet anything he will just say forget it, and send you back."

Sally was a little hesitant. She took a deep breath and slowly walked across the room. Every guy in the place was now watching her. It suddenly got very quiet. JOJO still hadn't got a good look at the man in the booth but didn't want to go over there her self.

Keith and Jolene watched silently as Sally and the guy in the booth talked. She shook her head "no". He shook his head "no". It seemed like they couldn't reach an agreement. Finally Sally came back with a dumb smirk on her face. She just stood there and said nothing.

JOJO couldn't stand it any longer. "Well, what did he say?"

Sally was having trouble keeping her composure. "He said that he wasn't going to cut off two inches for anybody." She burst out in roars of laughter. Keith joined in with her.

Jolene didn't think it was funny. "No way. It's a cop out. He just said that because he couldn't measure up. I am not pulling that last chain till I know for sure he is not putting out a bunch of bull shit."

"OK.OK." Keith waved down the bar to another of the bargirls. Terry came over and joined the threesome in a huddle. Terry was a little on the loose side, in fact Terry would do just about anything, especially on a dare. "Terry, do you see the guy in booth seven? We want you to over and check out his package for us."

"What in the hell do you mean by that?"

"We have to make sure that the guy is carrying at least ten inches."

"You are kidding, right?"

"No. Do it and you get a twenty bonus in your envelope tonight."

"Do I have to get it hard first?"

"Only if you feel it is necessary."

Terry went over to the booth. There was a lot of head shaking again. Finally a head popped up from the next booth. JOJO could make out a dark haired girl leaning over the partition. After much discussion the girl nodded her head "yes". Sally, Keith and Jolene were watching as if in a trance. Terry came back across the floor. Every eye in the bar was looking at her. She had a big shit eating grin on her face. JOJO looked at Keith. "I think this might be my last night here."

Terry walked right by the three of them, reached over and pulled chain number four. When the green light came on the bar went crazy. No one could believe that the nun had lost.

Jolene didn't know if she should be happy or worried. She straightened herself up a little and started to walk across the floor. Keith yelled out "Go get him tiger." Was this what she had been waiting for or was it a fluke? She had butterflies in her stomach. She was hyperventilating again.

She got to the booth and looked at the guy for the first time. It wasn't Greg. He looked like Greg but it wasn't him. She froze not knowing what to do. Her mind was racing. She played back the last half hour in her head. What was she missing? At last she had an idea. JOJO yelled out "Yolanda, where are you?"

The dark haired girl stuck her head up from the adjacent booth.

"Que pasa, Jolene" Yolanda was smiling ear to ear. "I see you met my husband, Jeff."

JOJO was happy to see her. "That was a dirty, dirty trick. Where the hell is he?" Jeff and Yolanda were both having a good laugh.

"He is out front waiting for you." Jeff said.

Jolene ran to the bar, grabbed her purse and kissed Keith on the cheek. She smiled ear to ear and said "Thanks."

She rushed out of the bar. Greg was leaning against the side of the Jeep, across the parking lot. Half of the patrons in the bar had followed her out, including all of the help. She jumped up on him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Everyone was cheering as she kissed him and encouraged her. She waved at them all, as they got into the Jeep. He seemed as happy to see her, as she was to see him. She looked at him with love in her eyes and said, "What the hell took you so long?" He just smiled. Damn that guy smiled a lot. "Do you have anything that you need to pick up before we go home?"

It was Jolene's turn to smile. "No.", she said. "I have everything I need right here." As she held up a six pack of king size condoms.