All Comments on 'Jonas Agonistes'

This is, In all honesty, one of the most moving pieces of literature I have read in a long time, and I read a lot. Stunningly good.

Amazing story. Five stars everyday.

I was an army paratrooper and I've had love ,hate thoughts of my time in service.

I hate that any large organization will sacrifice individuals for the supposed good of the whole. What is the limit?

Oh my god! That was amazing. I remember emailing my nephew when he was deployed to Afghanistan so soon after Sept. 11th. I told him that anything he had to do was on my soul and the nation that asked him to go. We didn’t discuss personal responsibility, but I’ve always had great faith in his morals. Fortunately, he came home in good shape, physically and emotionally. Thank you for writing this.

Wow! This story deserves much wider publication!

Thanks, again, another great read-through. Read to my wife,this time, and she enjoyed, also. Thank you.

I have said it before and will say it again, "Absolutely and utterly powerful".

Seeing as he just met 2 of his team members, they needed more written about them going forward. What happened to the asshole that was promoted for his "guns blazin"

Excellent, even for my 3td time reading

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Have read this and others by this author. Enjoyed every one. Been a while since last one was posted.

Wow! Powerful! 'nuff said.

Ten supernovas out of five stars.

Great story I kinda wish the two that got promoted got investigated and stripped

I may not have been a grunt, but this took me back to my two trips to that region. Excellent writing.

Sheer literary power writing. Wonderfully sustained. Five stars.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE. I was transported to a world that I am ignorant of in my sheltered life. But ! I have enough respect for what you must have lived to be able to write this story.

As a writer, you are very talented. Characterization is excellent. Dialogue moves the story right along. Very descriptive. A well rounded story. Again, THANK YOU. And CONGRATS on a 5 STARS story.

Absolutely brilliant. Among the top ten on Literotica. I don't, can't and won't rank them anymore than Jonah would rank atrocities. Five hypernovas is not enough.

Not enough romance in this. don't know it was even there. Other wise it was good story.

One of my favorites. Thank you for your works.

Incredibly powerful. Thank you.

Great story! I also enjoyed reading all the related Sky Grey stories - I hope there are more to come!

A number of people here waxing eloquent about how Marines swear to follow orders. Having taken the oath as an officer myself, I know exactly what it says. Here, in total, is the oath of office of a Marine officer "I, [name], do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So, help me God.”. The question of illegal orders is dealt with at length in training, literature, and elsewhere. I never hard an illegal oder. Dumb ones, bad ones, wrong ones, yes, but not illegal. Those are so rare that a diligent researcher could probably list every one given in the past 50 years or so.

Excellent and then some. Very heavy. I can relate - a Viet Nam vet with declining PTSD.

Just an excellent story. Well done Marine.

lawful orders can be denied based on safety concerns and certain circumstances, with a slight penalty.

Direct orders are to be followed to the T or face penalties based on the UCMJ laws

Prior military (retired) here

4⭐️ story ,,, lacking another character or epilogue for what there lives entitled after the ceremony of the marriage

So well done. Thank you.

The military is not that much different from the rest of the world. Advancement depends more on time in grade, ass kissing, politicking and height than compassion, thoughtfulness and openness to contrary opinions.

LMJ

Read and reread, Outstanding! This from an old Marine, although not of this war, saw questionable orders given and followed!

Wow.

Thanks for writing that.

There have been separate cases involving both the New Zealand and Australian SAS actions which resulted in non-combatants' deaths in Afghanistan. So please don't hold the US as being the only country causing unnecessary civilian deaths. War is stupid and once you are involved in a war morality is very easily lost. Principles give way to expediency and revenge turns into headcounts.

Great story woven about an all too believable event with tenderly drawn characters.!

What a wonderful story! I had tears in my eyes, so moving and touching, thank you!

Forgot I was on literotica.

Thank you for a wonderful, moving story!

Another excellent story of Jonas Simms. Just read the previous one with him as a Professor. Both outstanding writings!!

Would have been nice with him having a get together of his army buddies who looked out for him!!

Would have been better if those platoon commander and bastards above him were investigated for the murders, including Alvy!!!

My 2nd or 3td reading. So good on so many levels. Your other stories are excellent too, like Shooting at Merciful Lord.

Excellent writing.allof your work is great, Semper Fi.

While I'm giving it all 5 stars, I agree that black should have been either a dress uniform or a complimentary blue. This story also needs another chapter or two. Love it!

l loved it, but gave it 4 Stars instead of the 5 I was going to give it because he groom was in black which is a mourning color and not appropriate for a wedding.

I was very impressed with your taking this story topic and addressing its issues in such an understanding manner that we could all understand. You made your characters come to life. Giving it only a top grade of 5 does not address how good it really was. Thank you for sharing your story. A ‘10” indeed!

Oh shxt oh dear. Vietnam era. Read a lot, remember Callie and My Lai.

This was fantastic. Justice to a horrible situation generated by REMF's.

Thanks

A wonderful story. It really went to my heart. It's probably the best story I've read on

literotica and I've read hundreds of them.

Damn it! Making my eyes start sweating over a bunch of jarhead stuff. Hell, empathy for a Marine?!

Damn fine writing. Although I find your phrasing and word choice 'unique' at times. You must have a very intriguing speech pattern.

I concur with minnygopher! Excellent story. Superlatives fail me... chapter 2 perhaps? Thank you for telling the story of those who refuse to bend in the face of "the military way". Thank you, tsgtcapt, usaf-retired.

Superlatives fail me. Splendid. Compelling. Heart-breaking and heart-mending.

Well done, and thank you for sharing your work with us readers.

I had to read the whole thing in one sitting. Finally, off to the loo! ;)

Off the charts great. Powerful, compelling, and honorable. Many important life lessons. Honor is never out of vogue.

. Semper Fidelis, Marine.

Terrific story about a "wounded warrior" who struggles to overcome the tramatic events he suffered in as a Marine in Afghanistan, finally meeting the girl of his dreams whose love and patience helps him heal and become a complete man again.

This story and 'Save One Love' are most likely your best works on this site. Keep up the great work!

Great Great Great 5 STARS ! Very moving and heartfelt.

This may be the best story on this sight 5 stars

Excellent.

Wow. Just wow.

Your stories here are truly works of art.

I mean it. It's not obsequious praise or flattery. This and the other handful of stories you have here are truly some of the best to be found on this site.

What a wonderful story. I hope that you are using your writing talents for more then than just this site.

Incredible, just incredible! The characters are deep, well fleshed out and very real indeed. The storytelling is masterful, the emotions raw and real, the story line compelling! The topic is a genuine issue dealt with tact, sensitivity and passion. A fantastic read!

Most of the Tim I wish we had the option to rate a story 4.5. Not this one. 5 huge stars

Thank you

What a superb story. It’s very well written. I’m impressed for the time and effort Malraux spends researching and preparing to write his stories.

I had a tear in my at the wedding, seeing that Turkish and Healy were there.

What an excellent story. Unique!

Well worth the 5/5 l gave it.

The author has developed a body of work that is quite impressive…including this story. This is my second time through and it’s still quite moving. My only complaint is the rate at which new stories appear…and a bit that the 2021 story didn’t meet my expectations for this author. But fortunately, I’ve got more of the author’s stories to re-read! Thanks!

Loved the story! You get a virtual 6th star for setting it in my stomping grounds. Been to that Joseph-Beth a fair few times, and am not far from Fairfield and Lindenwald.

An excellent story once again very well plotted and presented, my only criticism (actually the wrong word) is I would have liked to have seen the Captain bought to answer.

Wow! This is the second of your stories that I’ve read and am impressed by your insight, sensitivity, and compassion to the human condition. I look forward to reading your other stories.

As an aside, “Peace of Mind” by DB86 is another excellent story about how a returning serviceman deals with PTSD and how the love of a good woman helps him in his recovery. I highly recommend it.

good story, I just didn't need a step by step sex description when so much of this is a huge moral question.

5 stars. Easily the easiest 5 stars I have given. Thank you.

A fantastically conceived and written story. Well planned and executed, it follows a good clear path, not jumbled, confused and self contradictory.

Excellent character develop through the use of thoughts and dialogue, rather than just a summary of events.

For me personally Emily's declaration of "Lets do it" was a let down. As was her statement "Lets fuck". These animalistic statements seemed to be devoid of any love. These crude comments were cheap throw away lines that degraded the romance that was being built up in your story.

They were also quite contrary to the wholesome image you had been creating of Emily.

All I can say is wow. And thank you for your hard work and time.

Off the charts chocked full of meaning and depth. Brilliant. I could have read on for another hour. Thoughtful and engaging thoughtful wok product typical of this author. Bartlett, really? 😁

Very compelling and moving story. I commend your writing.

This story really touched me. The thoughts and dialogue are are so well written and emotions so raw and real, I believe in the unique characters as well as in the plot. I have read stories at this site for some time and this is the first time I have felt compelled to comment — due to the high quality of your creative work. Thank you very much!

Not a bad story by any stretch but despite being 11 pages I kinda wish it was longer. While this was a romance story the center of the story was the massacre and Jonas dealing with it. I kinda wish there was a few more pages showing his reconnecting with his friends and why they abandoned him, continuing to deal with the fallout over the massacre, and maybe getting some justice with those who deserved it winding up behind bars. But just a minor complaint, a great if sad but happy ending 5 star story.

I wouldn’t say that this is a bad story. But, I WOULD say this is a bad romance story. Maybe a page and a half focusing on the MC’s relationship. I’d advise putting this into non erotic.

My time in the Marine Corps predated any recognition by the military or the medical community of PTSD as any kind of a treatable malady. So they just ignored it. They didn’t even have a name for it until ten years after I left the Corps. It was interesting to read about the way it is perceived by people, forty years after they put a name on it. Thank, Malraux, for another great story.

I love your work.thanks

I was an Army Lieutenant in Vietnam. I spent 8 months of my tour as a forward observer with an infantry company. Although never in a village, we did see plenty of combat. I recognize a lot of situations , emotions, and doubts your story brings forward; including the PTSD. Thank you for your story.

Well written, other than the odd homonym error (i.e.: there, their, they're), and almost perfectly ended. The only change I can see would improve that would be if the Colonel's reply had been delivered by one of his two squaddies. Personal opinion there. ;)

Malreux, who would think that such an insightful examination of atrocity in the context of a war would be found on an erotic literature site?

Malraux: My hat is off to you. 5 stars, only because there are no more to give. I was never in war but had many friends that were. Can I believe what you wrote about happened somewhere in many of our wars? Yes. By both sides. I told you in one of my other comments about one of your stories, I am a tough old SOB, but easy to cry when appropriate. This was a tough story to read, but damn, it was great. Thank you.

Very nice. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Quite Incredible. Privileged to be able to read this quality. My sincere thanks to Malraux.

Jonas Agnistes is a great story. It would have been good without the sex part maybe even better.

This is the first time I have commented on a story here.

Six stars

Incredible story! Thank you for sharing your work.

I agree with mrfriendly8181

Wow! So good, just far outclasses everything I've read on this site or any other. Would love to see this expanded and turned into a full length novel, it could easily be a bestseller with a tiny bit more polish. Fantastic.

Another wonderful story. Being a retired Navy man I understand the purpose of and why we have orders to be followed.

An amazing five-star story that cries out for an editor to fix up the point-of-view confusion.

I re-read this deliberately in view of the events taking place in Afghanistan this hot August of 2021. That place, that destroyer of empires, took something irretrievably from all of us... Former Captain, USMC, 1st LAR - 0302 & 0303. Only the Dead have seen the end of War.

Interesting to think of how empires die. A foreign war in Afghanistan. Now the US has pulled out. I'm angry at the shabby treatment our veterans have received and the blood spilled for nothing. Shameful Joe Biden.

one of the best stories i have read about the service and the problems people have to go thru --i was up for a court marshall while i was in the service on something i did not do-- they finally changed their mind-- i made up my mind not to re up---so this was a great story-- i am proud to have read it

So much better than most of the books I have paid for. Read this several times and still struggle through tears for about half of the story. Wish someone would put this on Netflix or similar platform, as it is better than their product.

Wow, even better read the second time around. 5 stars the first time but 5+ now. Great depth of character study. Jonas truly is a bona-fide hero.

What an incredible read, loved every bit of it. The characters had such depth and the story flowed beautifully, bravo, outstanding piece of work...!

An amazing story of a brave man taking responsible actions in an untenable situation. I am sure there have been many situations in our wars where our soldiers asked themselves if what they were doing was right.

I served in the Army from 64 to 67. I was fortunate and was never put in harms way.

I loved the story. Plan to read more of your works.

for all of those who mouthed off about this an other stories that have never written 1 word stick your head where the sun doesn't shine !!!!!!!!!

Awesome story.

as a story, i really really liked it. tears in my eyes more than once.

now some have went at it from a realistic point, well like movies some things must be left out to make a good story.

my experience. 30 years army, 6 tours, 4 Iraq, 2 Afghanistan. i ran convoy escort for supply convoys and protection detail for personnel. 2004-2005 Iraq some called the wild wild west, shoot first ask questions later. we had changing rules of engagement, with more and more control of return fire. basically if a bullet left your gun you better know where it ended up. you didnt fire at muzzle flashes because could you guaranty it wasnt an other american unit firing (that how Pat got killed, being somewhere he was not supposed to be after disobeying orders to stay in place. happened not far from where i was later).

we were in one major fire fight where in the end, 20 of us were credited with stopping a reinforced rifle company (words from the AAR). there were people all over the place, some bad guys, some civilian. in my report i praised my gun truck for their fire control, only firing at those i identified thru my binos as being armed. after a sweep of the field, we found zero civilians hurt. you can look this up. some call it the battle of BIAP.( think there are still some videos on youtube) it was Easter weekend 2004. like i said, i was so proud of how my guys and 1 girl responded to some bad crap. keeping their heads while under heavy fire from mortars, RPGs, and small arms.

later in 2014 while at Ft Knox undergoing surgery and recovery, i worked with an E5 ranger. he was getting treatment for PTSD and other issues. as we talked he told me his story. he was the units sniper, sent out to take out a guy who had been placing IEDs along a main supply route. guy was spotted digging a hole, calls were made, and he was told to wait till he placed the bomb. once placed, his spotter called again and they were given the go code, a second call to confirm, and it was a go. shot fired, man down, mission over......... but not. the bullet went thru him and hit a person the E5 hadnt seen. it was an old civilian that walked a round the corner of a house at the worst time possible. even tho he had clearance to fire, that he hit the main target, someone that had sat multiple IEDs, he was charged with hitting a civilian. he was waiting to see what charges he was facing, but his career was over. the use of deadly force was POUNDED out in the mission brief before every mission. gunners were forced to report in front of the company and battalion command staff what those rules were. thru training and some pure luck i dont believe my guys ever hurt one civilian during my 6 tours. i credit them, not me. some of the best young people this country has.

Five stars, great feel good story. Some of the combat is off but the fog of war is hard to understand even to those who have been there. Keep writing!

I’ve been in that motel room. Five stars, six were it possible.

I would like address the comment posted by No1_OfConsequence about how this story is not realistic. First, he stated that if anyone yelled "Cease Fire" into the radio that everyone would immediately stop shooting. Everyone who has spent anytime in combat knows this is not true. With adrenaline pumping it often has to be said repeatedly to sink in. Then there is "the fog of war". Things happen in the moment that even the participants do not recognize for what they really are. The truth only comes out after a through and fair investigation. And these investigations many times fall woefully short of either standard - through or fair. If you doubt that you just have to remember the death of Pat Tillman, the NFL star who enlisted right after 9-11 and was killed fighting in Afghanistan in 2004, The Bush Administration celebrated him as a hero who was killed by the enemy while trying to liberate the Afghanny people from their oppressive leaders. They even had the Pentagon fly a "Missing Man" formation over his funeral. That he died from enemy fire was the "party line" for many months. It finally came out that he really died of "Friendly Fire" from soldiers in his own unit (i.e. the Fog of War). The Pentagon and the White House had known the truth almost from day one, yet they continued to lie to both his parents and to the American People for months. Eventually, many officers (including a 3-star General) had their careers cut short or were forced into early retirement - but No One Went to Jail, even though they Repeatedly Testified to something they knew was not true. So much for "everyone will be held accountable".

Now for my impressions of the story. I thought it was the most well written story I have read in years, on this site or anywhere else. You could actually feel the anguish that the Captain felt about the lives he could not save. And the only reason that the truth came out was because someone took nine photos on their cell phone. That seems to happen a lot these days, don't you agree. Think about it.

One of the best I have ever read. Beautiful story.

What a wonderful story. Can't express myself how wonderful to have read the story from start to finish. Definitely a 5 star ✴️🌟✴️🌟✴️🌟✴️🌟✴️🌟. Thank you for your lovely story.

Ali Singapore

Two important things. When a "cease fire" goes over the net, everybody stops shooting.

When an incident of "friendly fire" (because we all know friendly fire isn't) or CIVCAS occurs, the investigation will go forward, and no one will escape accountability. These investigations happen even when the reporters are local nationals or if such an incident is even suspected.

The USMC has issued magnified optics to every grunt out there since 2003. One of the express purposes of this is target identification. This equipment includes optics for the M-249 SAW and the M-240G machine guns. Thus having the Marines open fire on reported noncombatants, that they would be able to identify as such even at extended ranges, is very unrealistic. That's putting it kindly.

I would highly recommend Lt Col Grossman's works, On Combat and On Killing, for insight into the modern US military and how combat actually works.

A masterful short fiction too real to some.

Much better then a five!