Journey to Year 1,000,000,000 Ch. 19

Taylor turned his back on her for a moment. Finally he turned around. He saw Pam watching him, waiting. "I can't explain."

She stood there silently.

"There are a lot of things about human emotions, human feelings, that are inconsistent. They can't be plotted as easily as building a planet," said Taylor.

"These feelings are so... unpredictable," said Pam. "Are they worth having?"

"I don't know. You tell me," said Taylor.

Pam gave a confused smile. "I don't have feelings."

"I think, you do," said Taylor. He reached for her arms. "Remy fucked you blind, didn't he?"

"I did not lose my eyesight."

"You know what I mean," said Taylor. "But you felt nothing when he... did what he did with you. You feel more when I kiss you than when Remy fucked you."

"I do not feel anything. It is this female body which registers sensations. I merely note and record the results."

"The results of which are so interesting, that you came back a billion years in time to continue your studies."

"Yes," said Pam.

Taylor looked at her for a long moment, and then said, "I kockk, but I don't think you do."

********

Pam and Taylor were together again.

Agents from the World Government came to try and retrieve Pam. They went away.

More agents came to retrieve Pam.

They went away too.

After that, the World Government stopped trying to take Pam away.

Admiral Von Windhoek, in a much gentler tone, simply requested that Taylor make regular reports.

********

They went shopping for clothes.

Pam wanted to know if there was something wrong with her dress. She was still wearing the same dress from her fuck-cation.

Taylor told her she looked beautiful in it, but it was nice to have variety.

"Variety?" Pam asked.

"To look beautiful, in different ways," said Taylor. "Just like you look beautiful in different ways when your body is haloed by a sun, or a gas giant, or a nebula. They are like different outfits for you to wear."

Pam smiled. "This body is pleased to hear that."

"I'm sure it is," said Taylor. "Besides, don't you think it's nice to change outfits at least once every billion years?"

Shopping for clothes for Pam was fun. They didn't even have to physically go shopping anywhere. They would look at an outfit on the holonet, and then, if Taylor liked it, Pam would be wearing it instantly.

Taylor picked a blue dress that went down to her ankles; a red dress that showed off her breasts; and a blouse and tight pants in cream very much like what the other Pam had been wearing the day they had started their last reconciliation.

Taylor watched as Pam modeled a yellow dress. She looked uncertainly in a mirror.

"What do you think?" Taylor asked.

"I do not have any basis to judge," said Pam, looking anxiously at herself.

"Sure you do," said Taylor. "Just Shursta it."

A big smile appeared on Pam's face, and she suddenly understood. She looked at the dress in a new way. "I... I am not sure. It is different than judging the beauty of a planet, or a star."

Taylor gently touched her on the shoulders from behind. He looked at how well the yellow dress fit her curves. "No, you're wrong. It's the exact same thing. You look as beautiful as the star that you are."

Pam looked like she was almost going to cry. "Taylor! This body... it... it wants a kiss."

Taylor moved close to her, but didn't kiss her. "Do you want a kiss?"

"No... I don't know... but this body does!" She seemed in great need.

"But for you, it would just be a matter of scientific analysis, right? No more than an experiment, right?"

"Yes," said Pam, in evident discomfort. "Nothing more than that."

"Hm. Then it doesn't seem very important to kiss you then."

Pam reached forward, grabbed his head, and gave him the kiss of his life. When she released him, Taylor said, "Interesting. I must study the results for data patterning."

And Pam laughed! She giggled like a young girl. Taylor had never heard Pam, this Pam, laugh before quite like that.

********

"There is such a tremendous emphasis on oral consumption," said Pam.

Their bodies were sailing through a supermarket, one aisle after another after another. Apparently, other shoppers couldn't see them. They even passed right through shoppers in their way.

"So many thousands of different kinds of food," said Pam, as they moved from aisle to aisle. "Is it all really necessary?"

"Food is necessary to live," said Taylor. "But you are right. For us, food is more than that. It is about pleasure."

Suddenly, they were halted, in the meat section. "But... it is such an ephemeral pleasure," said Pam. "It passes by your taste buds so quickly, and is down your throat. Why so much emphasis on a pleasure that ends so quickly?"

"I don't know," said Taylor, stepping closer to her. "You tell me."

And then she leaned forward, and kissed him.

********

"I do not kockk fiction," said Pam, sitting in front of a holoprojector that was playing a drama. "Why would your population be so obsessed with experiences that are false?"

"We don't view fiction as false," said Taylor, sitting down next to her.

"Well, aren't they?"

"They are, but we view them as entertainment," said Taylor. "We identify with the main characters. We feel what they feel. We experience things with them."

Pam's eyes narrowed. "Is it a form of telepathy?"

Taylor smiled. "No, more like empathy. We try to imagine what they feel, and we feel it ourselves."

"I have observed several thousand of your dramas over the past few minutes," said Pam, "They all have very similar themes. A male pursues a female, for sex and a relationship. Or the male pursues the female, usually just for sex. What is so compelling that makes people want to view essentially the same story, over and over again?"

"For us it is different every time," said Taylor, putting an arm around her. "For us it is always new. When we watch a drama, we see a person pursuing a man or woman who we have never seen before. It is a new first time. First times are special. Do you remember the first time you kissed me?"

Suddenly they were watching it, watching other Pam reach out and kissed the other Taylor. Taylor could see the look of contentment on Pam's face as she grinded her lips against his. Her eyebrows were raised, her mouth closed, her chest heaving.

"Yes. This body enjoyed it," said Pam.

"More than the other times?"

Pam paused. "I do not know for certain. I need a larger sample size to give a scientifically valid response." And she reached over and kissed Taylor again.

********

Taylor was watching Remy having sex with Pam. Pam was moaning as Remy slid in and out between her legs.

Why is she making me watch this?

Taylor screaned her, and the answer was almost immediate.

She was trying to make him jealous. She was trying to get him to fuck her.

He smiled. Pam's understanding of human emotions was growing in leaps and bounds.

"Your culture has a tremendous emphasis on the reproductive act," said Pam, watching herself dispassionately.

"Technically, it is the act of reproduction, though most of the time, the purpose is physical pleasure," said Taylor.

"Yes. The stimulation of nerve endings. This body registered it," said Pam, watching herself make "ah, ah, ah" sounds.

"You don't sound impressed," said Taylor.

"It doesn't seem to be such a strong motivator," said Pam. She watched as her body slowly gasped, as she climaxed.

Oddly enough, Taylor, watching the other Pam's dispassionate face, wasn't jealous at all. Not even a little. Pam looked at him, and he knew that she knew that.

"Because, as I've told you, sex without feelings for the other person doesn't mean much," said Taylor.

"The one called Remy seemed to enjoy it," said Pam. They watched as Remy cried out, and released inside of the other Pam.

"Some do. But others need more. They need to feel love."

"I have heard this word often. It is sometimes used synonymously with copulation, and sometimes separately. Which is it?"

"Both. It can be a part of sex, or simply a feeling," said Taylor. He let a hand roam over her shoulder.

"What kind of feeling?" Pam asked.

"A feeling... of intense need. Of intense wanting. Of wanting something more than you've ever wanted anything else, but what you want isn't a thing, it's a person." His hand played with her hair. When he brushed her cheek, she shivered.

"And what do you want with this other person?"

"To be with her... forever," said Taylor. He reached down and pressed against her palm with his fingers. She gripped his hand tightly. He leaned forward and kissed her. She responded, with soft and willing lips.

As he pulled back, Pam frowned. "I do not kockk this... intense wanting."

"Yes you do," said Taylor, looking at her.

Pam gave him a helpless look, one filled with longing. "How can you tell me that I kockk when I say I do not?"

"Because you do," said Taylor, taking her in his arms. "You kockk. You just do not kockk that you kockk."

"Kiss me again, Taylor."

Taylor leaned close and kissed Pam on the lips. She closed her eyes and gave herself to the sensation, feeling his firm, manly lips against hers. When he pulled back, she said, "Now make love to me."

"Is that you asking, or your body?"

"This body desires it," said Pam.

"Then the answer is no," said Taylor, releasing her.

"You kissed me when this body asked for it," said Pam, her voice sounding vaguely annoyed.

"Yes."

"But you will not make love to this body. Why?"

"I don't make love to third persons," said Taylor.

"But it would be such an interesting experiment," said Pam, pressing her body against his.

"Haven't you already conducted this experiment many times with Remy?" Taylor asked, acutely feeling her large breasts pressed against him.

"Yes," said Pam, squirming against him. "But..."

"But what?'

"But I want to conduct this experiment with you," she said, looking longingly at him.

Taylor looked into those green eyes. "I will make love to you, if you ask me, not your body. But I will not be the subject of an experiment. That got old, even 500,000,000 years from now."

********

The World Government wanted Pam back.

They knew better than to send men to take her by force. They learned that after the first two retrieval teams failed to return.

The Survey Service also wanted a piece of Pam. Admiral Von Windhoek was imploring Taylor to bring her in for examination.

Taylor said no, the first time he was able to do so to a senior officer.

But Pam did express a desire to get out and meet more people. Taylor spoke to Victor about it, and Victor arranged for a cocktail party to be held at an elaborate guest house in Perth that was owned by the World Government.

Once word got out about the party, everyone who was anyone on the planet wanted to be invited. Tickets were swapped, traded, and vended for enormous favors or prices. Taylor warned Victor that Pam was not to be swamped by questioners; this would not be a news conference, but a casual gathering.

When the day came, Pam wore a white dress, quite unlike the white dress from her fuck-cation, the dress he had first seen her in.

The new dress didn't show off her breasts like the other dress did. The dress covered nearly her entire body, from her neck to her ankles.

And yet, the dress was fabulous. Pam no longer looked slutty. She looked elegant.

Pam saw Taylor staring at her as she twirled around the mirror. She expra-ed a change in him. "You are falling in love with me." She said. It was not a question.

"No," said Taylor.

She looked flirtatiously at him, with her eyebrows raised. "You are falling in love with me. Soon you will want to make love to me."

Taylor frowned. "If you want it so much, why don't you just make me? You could fill me with irresistible desire, as your fellow entity did to Elizabeth, could you not?'

"Yes," said Pam, looking taken aback.

"So why not just do it? You'll get what you've always wanted. I am powerless to stop you." Taylor spread his arms wide.

"I... I...." Pam seemed at a loss for words. "I do not kockk. I think.. I expra... that I want you to make love to me, of your own accord."

Taylor leaned close to her. "And that's all I've been asking of you."

********

Megan Gross, the famed social justice warrior, was there. So was Doctor Richard Halstrom, the popular author of "How The Universe Began". There was Bruce Teitelbaum, the famous holo producer, who had made the smash hits "Big Happy Family 1", "Big Happy Family 2", and "Big Happy Family 3". There was also Senator Miyaka Abuto, the Chairwoman of the World Government Senate Committee on Fairness and Total Equality for Females Only.

"The Universe started with nothing, which turned into something?" Doctor Halstrom chuckled. "That's quite impossible, my dear. The theory of the ever-present energy source dictates that-"

"Have you ever seen it?" Pam asked.

"Seen what?"

"The origin of the universe?"

"Well, no," said Halstrom.

"Then your observation is irrelevant," said Pam. "You do not screan; you do not expra; all you do is dudikay."

A few dozen feet away, Victor put a hand on Taylor's shoulder. "So good to see you again, Michael. How are things with Pam?"

"They... they're good, Victor," said Taylor, giving a little smile.

Victor looked meaningfully at Taylor.

"No, we haven't, Victor," said Taylor.

"And yet you seem happy," said Victor.

"Happier than I've ever been," said Taylor.

"Even with the other Pam?"

Taylor looked at Pam, who was chatting with a circle of people around her. "As far as I'm concerned, the other Pam is the real Pam now."

"What about larger issues, Michael?" Victor asked. "Don't you think her people will come looking for her, sooner or later?"

"I don't know," said Taylor, watching her. She looked at him for the briefest of moments and flashed him a smile. He felt electricity coursing through his body. "She gets more and more human every day."

"That's wonderful, Michael," said Victor. "But I'm still concerned about the bigger picture. Didn't she tell you that her associates were considering erasing the galaxy?"

"Yes," said Taylor, still staring at her.

"Well... what's become of that?"

"I don't know, Victor," said Taylor. "And frankly, at this moment, I don't care. I'm alive, and I'm with Pam, and right now, that's my only horizon." He smiled back at her, and she smiled again.

"Equality, dear, it's all about making sure that everyone is equal," Megan Gross said to Pam.

"But you are all different. How do you determine what equal means for each individual person?" Pam asked.

"We have the best minds in the World Government who work on that," said Senator Abuto. "They analyze and measure each person's contribution to society, add to that societal discrimination against that person, and come up with a total value. Where there are any deficits, it is the job of the World Government to equalize-"

Victor nudged Taylor. "Did you notice that Elizabeth is here, Michael?"

"I noticed," said Taylor. He saw her leaning against a wall, looking forlorn. She was wearing a bright red dress which showed off the tops of her breasts. She looked very much unlike herself. And she was bunless! Her hair ran scandalously down her shoulders. "Why is she here?"

Victor raised his eyebrows and simply looked at him as if it were obvious.

Go and talk to her, he heard a feminine voice in his head say.

Taylor turned and saw Pam, nodding to him ever so slightly.

Taylor, feeling very self conscious, went over to her. "Elizabeth," he said.

"Michael," she said, giving him a fearful smile.

Taylor looked at the top of her breasts, at her long flowing hair, and at the makeup (makeup!) on her face. "You look wonderful."'

"Thanks," She said, smiling again.

"How are things going in the Scientific Branch?"

"Fine," said Elizabeth. "I, uh, was promoted. To a full Captain, in the reserves." She batted her eyelashes in rapid succession.

"Congratulations, Elizabeth!" said Taylor. He reached over to kiss her, and she turned her cheek to oblige. He felt her body, and her small round breasts, as he briefly hugged her.

"You must be very happy," said Taylor.

"Yes, I am," she said, looking flustered.

"It seems everyone got promoted but me," said Taylor.

"Well, you're kind of absent without leave from the Survey Service, aren't you?"

It was true. Taylor's status with the Survey Service wasn't exactly clear at the moment.

"It's.. it's Pam....."

Elizabeth stiffened as he said the name.

Taylor lifted her chin. "Elizabeth, why did you come here today?"

"I... I.. I wanted to apologize for taking advantage of you...." She looked bashful.

"Taking advantage of me?"

"Back in the year one billion."

And then Taylor remembered. Elizabeth, wearing even more makeup and revealing even more of her breasts than she was now. The smell of rotting oranges... the feeling of her lips against his... the overwhelming desire to make love to her... which he gave into... which they gave into....

"Elizabeth, you have nothing to apologize for. You were being controlled by Doug."

"Doug?"

"The other alien. He made himself look just like Pam's real life fiancée, just to irk me," said Taylor.

"Oh. I didn't know that," said Elizabeth.

Taylor stretched an arm out and leaned against the wall, right next to her. "Elizabeth, why are you really here?"

"I... I... I wanted to apologize."

"You just did."

"No, not for that," said Elizabeth. She looked up at him for a brief moment, and then he saw it, in her eyes. "You... you saved our lives. You saved all our lives. And I was so... so mean to you."

Taylor smiled. "Don't worry about it."

"You were always so gracious, Michael," said Elizabeth, her hands rapidly playing with each other. "No matter how difficult the situation, you always maintained the class of a Survey Service Captain."

"Thank you," he said, feeling a warm sensation in his chest.

Elizabeth wet her lips. "How... how are things with her?"

"They... they are good."

"Does she..." Elizabeth visibly swallowed "... are you happy with her?"

"Yes," said Taylor, looking at Pam. "Very happy."

"That's good," said Elizabeth, swallowing again. "Then I'm happy for you too." She looked into his eyes uncertainly, then rapidly looked away.

********

Later, back at his apartment, as they were getting ready for bed, Taylor asked, "Did you enjoy yourself?"

"I was gathering datapoints," said Pam.

"Did you enjoy gathering datapoints?" Taylor asked, as he took off his pants and shirt.

"Your guests were all tedious and boring. They all had their own points of view, and were sure of their own Tisson Crae in the universe, and all of them, to a man, or a woman, were all wrong. They all had their own small, insignificant purposes in life, and were unable or unwilling to see beyond it."

"There are over 12 billion people on the planet Earth. You only encountered a small number of them."

"I know. But I was hoping to meet people who were more multifaceted, more dynamic, like...."

"Like who?" Taylor asked, as he got into bed.

Pam gave him a knowing look. Then she blinked, and suddenly she was wearing a sheer pink nightie. He could clearly see her breasts and pubic triangle through it.

"That's new," said Taylor calmly, feeling a stirring in his groin. "Where did you get that from?"

"While you were reviewing the Melinda's Secret Catalogue, you paused while viewing this item 2.4 seconds longer than the other entries," said Pam. "I'm glad to see that the delay was statistically significant." She felt his eyes on her. "Do you wish to make love to this body now?"