All Comments on 'Just a Little Magic Ch. 11'

This part of the story is starting to drag and I'm beginning to wonder does every woman he is supposed to encounter really need the detailed story. Or are they later going to be more meaningful than another girl be magical into being his breeding receptical?

The character is justifying everything because he hasn't questioned the story at all. Why is that? Was he magicked into accepting the lead?

The big plot twist is this one is gay and in a relationship? Really. I a world where magic is real. This will be a nuisance problem I bet.

The main character is incapable of suspicion or mistrust of the story line he's been spoon fed.

I once heard a guy describe how he and his cousin (as adults) traveled around the country with an older relative who was a prominent public figure (who will not be named). A job they always had was going into rooms ahead of the relative, because they had too many close-calls with stupid people trying to ruin his reputation by staging a scandal to photograph--for instance, a person walks into his hotel room and suddenly there's a naked woman hugging him and a photographer taking pictures of it.

I feel Peter’s pain. Sex with multiple women is great for a single guy. But when you find the ONE it’s less so. The lying The internal turmoil. The emotional backflips on a daily basis.

Not sure how you are going to bring it together. This will be a great test of your writing ability.

I would say you nailed what a sexy Brazilian would look like in Mirella: small top and bountiful bottom (from the Portuguese and African mixing so common there)--which is VERY typical; that she would dance and know samba...check; that she would be multi-lingual was nearly perfect; only thing is that in Sao Paolo, it's far more typical that Brazilians would know either Italian or German as their fourth language. French does sometimes happen, but it's far less common, since Italian influenced the language more, due to the sheer # of Italians that moved to neighboring countries. That she's so intelligent and inquisitive is a major plus. It would be interesting if she discovered her magical bloodline and seriously intervened to help save Pete when some of this went sideways--as she's the part of him that he's missing. It's starting to dawn on him that he should feel much better about all this, but he only has a nagging suspicion--not a full-blown reason to dig--while Mirella will. Really, it would be kind of the wildcard to have Kavia decide to join in and use her mind for something other than herself, as she's capable, but never been challenged to think differently until Peter arrived.

How tender for Tamara and what a special interlude for her, which is so what she needed. So lovely to see her open up. It makes me wonder how much of her confidence will shine through now that Peter has helped her heal?

Eloide is quite the twist in so many ways, but I guess I should have seen that one coming, as it's more common nowadays. That could be really nasty to get between those two. SURE...there's no guy in her life, but to have not anticipated a female partner....? Kind of hilarious and one of the real curve balls you like to throw.

Really enchanting chapter and I really dug into this one. REALLY loved Mirella, as she's such the opposite to Kavia...which is why I wouldn't be surprised if she dug into Janine and found out what REALLY makes her tick. Sounds like once Mirella gets started, she could drive a huge avalanche of discoveries.

Nothing less than 5. This was so charming in so many ways. Even Esther...historically she's a savior and I wonder if you have that planned for her in some way, as she's kind of a parallel Tamara. Can't wait!

Up until Chapters 10 and 11, I very much enjoyed the series, but the "countdown" chapters bored me to tears.

How come not one of those girls actually knows magic? If they all have magical blood in them. How could they all be so ignorant? And it is seriously fuck up that Lilian broke down many relationships just to get them like Peter. And why haven't we met anybody who can do magic in the world tour even outside the girls?

I kinda understand that the author likes winding stories that twist and turn but lack any reasonable conflict: This is eastern storytelling; as opposed to western stories which have a more defined conflict, rise, climax, and fall.

But it is indeed starting to drag.

Some points:

1. Peter seems a wee too innocent in all this. In all honesty we have no idea if this is all a trick, that Lilian or Janine have ulterior motives that are not being shown, that this is a plot from either one of them or Peter's biological father, etc.

2. Thirteen was way too high of a number. I get Peter "wants to save the world", but a normal guy would call it quits after the fifth girl. We're predisposed to fall in love with our partner after a certain amount of time being around them. We're really not designed to try for a 'harem'. Humans want to put effort and settle down with a small number of partners, if they want more than one. I would honestly use that conflict to further character development.

3. Thirteen women means a lot of lying but a lot of that is explained away through travel. It would put more pressure on Peter if all 13 women were close enough to each other to know each other in passing. Thirteen is basically 13 different lives.

4. Is magic only just illusions, readings, and coercion of the mind?

I really like how he is learning to care for most of them and the conflicts that that presents. I like where this is going and look forward to more of this story. Thank you!

When I first started this series, I thought it was mostly going to be the "countdown" stories of (mind control?) seduction, but there was a ton of build-up before we got here.

I have a pretty strong feeling about where this is going, and without airing my theories publicly, will say I really think Peter needs to be asking himself a few questions, as Lillian's plan is largely nonsense.

You have made a creative story with a great main character, but it is starting to lose me a bit. And the more that Peter goes along with deceiving these woman and sleeping around behind their (and particularly Sophie’s), the less likable he becomes. Him being conflicted about it doesn’t make it any better after a while. He’s not trying to think of other ways that could save them, he’s just mopey now. I’m looking forward to getting to the conflict, whether it’s with his father or it turns out that it was Lillian and Janine playing him, but I’m kinda passively skimming now until we get there. Became the more I read now, the more I hate Peter.

I think this is quite superb, good story line and build up to wwhat I think will be an exciting end.

"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, I'd walked into hers. "

BRO! You know your classics... well done.

"the apple doesn't fall far from the tree"

Classic, the way you handled this. Never seen it quite done this way. I loved it.

Yeah I'm just skimming at this point, move about, sleep with the girl, rinse and repeat.

Just want to get to the end so I can see if I'm right in thinking the Lillian and janine are behind everything with the evidence strongly suggests

Frankly, your reach here kind of exceeds your grasp...the world tour is 3 chapters of wham bam thank you mam....which after 3 or 4 of these rather inane episodes all run together in a meaningless drivel. You would have better served to have 3 or 4 rather than 13... and spend a great deal more time on character development...or use the 13 and just run an overview chapter and get it out of the way... it really does not contribute squat to the story line... and just gets in the way.

Still... you are an excellent story writer....but you need to focus your editors on RIGOROUSLY PARING your drafts and seriously look at the meta story development in a simpler and more direct manner. This one is simply too long and could have been better served in 7 chapters.

Fuckiing hilarious ending to this chapter...!

Was wondering if one of the prime directive might turn out to be gay... Interesting twist.

I really hope at some point someone brings up the whole magical aptitude. Supposedly Pete's father has singled all these women out because the carry the aptitude for magic and they were all born during a full moon.

So, why then is Janine the only one that has any sort of magic? I was sort of hoping at least one of the 13 would catch onto him reading their minds. Ah well.

Great story, loving it so far.

This series is...interesting...It keeps me just enough involved to keep me coming back...

The last couple of chapters have been well-developed; each of the ladies is so different from each other, making them 'accessible'...if that is the right term...yet...Indian girl (Kalia)...bitch extraordinaire...still, fits in with the story (somewhat).

As another commenter has pointed out, no magical tendencies shown by any of them...that is kinda off, in my mind...how are the offspring going to be "special"??

Still...Five**5**Stars...🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌

Honestly I would have been shocked if one of the girls on the list wasn't a lesbian. Though I had assumed interference had been ran beforehand to break up any girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife beforehand. Maybe that was just a decoy with some of the previous "targets" to throw us off.