Just Get Over It

After Cynthia died, I wasn't going to get serious with any woman. But something about this big, rambunctious female with the tattoo intrigued me. We talked, or yelled because the music was so loud, and went outside to talk some more. She pulled out a joint and asked me if I wanted to smoke it. Of course I did. We got high and drank some more, smoked another one and pretty much hit it off that first night. Before I left I made sure to get her number. She said to call her.

We went out after that and just kept seeing each other. I found out she was a little self conscious about her weight. But I thought she looked great and told her so. I told her she was perfect for me because I love a big, pretty woman with curves and some extra meat on her bones. She heard that and smiled. Her blue eyes flashed, her cute face lit up. We couldn't get to bed quick enough. We had sex on our second date and it was incredible. She's a very strong girl and I was surprised how aggressive she was in bed. My first wife was slim and petite. We'd take time to kiss and use lots of foreplay, stroking and kissing before we started fucking. Our love making was slow and romantic.

Megan was more direct. She's make out with me and let me play with the goodies for a bit. But if she was horny and I took too long to get to the main event, she'd just yank down my pants, suck my cock and tell me to fuck her. Then she'd throw me on the bed, pull me between her huge muscular legs and squeeze the breath out of me. The rough handling always turned me on big time. I'd shove my hard cock into her steamy cunt and pump her like a crazy man. Her big thighs would hold me in place as she'd cry for me to fuck her harder and faster.

We went out to parties and clubs a lot in those days. When Megan got drunk, which happened a lot, she'd get very horny. If we were out somewhere it wasn't unusual for her to initiate something. Sometimes she rub my cock at our table until I'd nearly cum in my pants. Other times she'd just take me somewhere private, like my car in the parking lot or out back of the club and tell me to fuck her. There were many nights I'd find myself getting a blowjob behind some restaurant. More often I'd take her to the back seat of my car, eat out her furry cunt and then fuck her as she held onto me like her life depended on it. I wasn't used to such a demanding, assertive lover, but I wasn't complaining either. I adored her.

To make a long story short a few years after I came out of my shell, when I said I'd never love again, I fell in love with Megan and asked her to marry me. Thank god she agreed. We had a short engagement and then we married. Looking back on my sad life, meeting her was the best therapy I could have ever asked for. I was 26, she was 23 and we had a big, traditional Catholic wedding, thanks to her wonderful Parents.

Megan's from a typical Irish American family. The wedding was held in her family's church, administered by the Priest. I met so many of her relatives I couldn't remember them all. We drank so much and sang Irish songs at the reception, its a wonder we could even have sex on our wedding night. But let me assure you we did.

Her Parents are really great people. They met me and welcomed me into their family right away. I appreciated them too. Even before we married we ate dinner with them regularly. They paid most of the money for our wedding, and even gave us tickets to a resort in Florida for our honeymoon, where I consummated my marriage dozens of times with my lovely Irish bride. I couldn't have asked for a better outcome to my life.

I knew Megan was a hard partier when I met her. Hell, we met at a wild Frat party for Christ sakes. She told me a little about her college life and I was pleased with her honesty. She didn't hide the fact that she dated a lot of guys before me, and until we were exclusive she was still having sex with other guys. She said she did some things she wished she hadn't. I gave her a brief recount of my crappy life but tried not to dwell on the worst parts. She knew I was married before, but didn't care about that. She was glad I could over look some of her past rowdy history. The other guys she dated were mostly arrogant, entitled Frat boys that were just trying to score. I was the first guy she dated that she could see getting serious with, settling down and getting married.

I met her sister soon after we started dating. Rita's a very pretty girl, two years older, and slimmer than Megan. We got along real well and I liked her. She seemed just as high spirited as her younger sister. Both of them could drink me under the table. It was then that I met Reggie Sora, Rita's long time boyfriend.

He was a few years older than me and they were engaged. The guy was working in a gym as a personal trainer and he was definitely buff. He didn't seem to care for me all that much. When we shook hands I got the impression that he was an arrogant snob. I didn't tell Megan that. Rita loved him like crazy, that was easy to see. When we'd go out together it was all about Reggie. He's a big guy, had a big mouth and loved being the center of attention. I tired of his tendency to dominate any conversation no matter what. Rita would get drunk and hang all over him. She definitely had the same wild streak in her eyes Megan had. But she was engaged to that tall older guy. So she didn't go out, party and get drunk as much as Megan and I did.

Bringing me out of my thoughts, I heard Megan call us for lunch. I called Jimmy into the house and Susan in from watching TV. We were all around the table eating as I tried to appear normal. Unfortunately my facade of normalcy didn't fool my wife.

"Everything okay Sean?" Megan asked me cautiously, training her blue eyes onto my face.

"Yeah. Fine"

"You look a little tired honey. You feeling all right?" She asked with concern.

"Maybe a little tired." I lied "Its been a tough week."

"Really? Why don't you take a nap after you eat. I'll clean up."

"Okay. Maybe. We'll see."

I was hoping she wouldn't ask me anything more. I couldn't help being distracted about the DNA results in the desk drawer. I was hoping to god that the result were flawed in some way. Taking Megan's attention from me, Jimmy started talking to her about his soccer team. It was a relief.

I'm normally pretty direct about issues that come up. Not as much as my no nonsense, unreserved wife. But I don't like to beat around the bush. Trying to save someone's feelings usually costs time and money. At work if there's a problem with software or some supply issue, I get right to the point and address it immediately.

This was different. It was personal not business. I finally decided there was no reason to rush to judgment until I had a chance to think. Unfortunately I was so fixated on Jimmy's parentage I could hardly sleep that night.

I went to bed early and Megan came up not long after. She acted very affectionate as she slid into bed. She kissed me and snuggled, and began stroking my dick to get me going as she lay next to me. When I didn't respond to her affections she got the message, kissed my cheek and told me I'd feel better tomorrow. I did try to sleep but that damn DNA test kept me awake. I couldn't figure out how it could possibly be correct.

After I tossed and turned for an hour Megan sat up and said angrily, "Are you gonna jump around all night. Dammit Sean. What the hell's the problem?"

"Nothing. Probably drank too much coffee honey. Sorry."

"Well go take a sleeping pill or something. I can't sleep if you're moving around like that all night."

"I know. Okay. You're right."

I got up and went to the kitchen and had some water. Then I went to the guest room and fell asleep on the bed there. Except for when I traveled, it was one of the few nights in our marriage that we didn't sleep together. Megan didn't say anything about my absence from our bed. But she did eye me with concern as we ate breakfast.

After breakfast I went to the desk and got out the DNA result. I took it out to the garage where I read it over a dozen times in private. The more I read it the more I thought it might be true.

Megan and I have had a wonderful eleven year marriage. We're going to have a twelve year anniversary in several more months. But there was a short time after we married when we had problems. We didn't argue before we were married that much. But not long after our honeymoon we did have some disputes that turned rather ugly at times. I had no idea why she was so irritable. But for the first time since we were together I got a taste of her harsh Irish temper.

The gist of her displeasure was that she wanted to go out more. I liked to go out and party with her but sometimes thought we shouldn't for financial reasons. I was working hard in those days. Longer hours than I am now. Money was tighter and we were living in a dumpy one bedroom apartment. I didn't want to waste our meager resources on frivolous spending in bars.

There were also a few times when I had to go away for work. My Boss paid for each trip out of town because they were work related. I had to take some classes on the latest improvements in robot technology. The robotics field moves quickly and if you don't keep up, you quickly get behind. I was trying to do the best for our future family and needed to stay ahead. Megan wasn't happy and let me know in no uncertain terms that even though she was married, she was still young and wanted to have fun. She didn't appreciate my traveling without her.

It was my third trip out of town when Megan hit the roof. I was working hard and we weren't going out drinking as often anymore. She was already upset that our lifestyle had become "boring", as she put it. But on this occasion she made plans to attend a big celebration her family was involved in. She said her whole family would be there, as well as a lot of her friends and demanded I stay home and go there with her. She was bitterly opposed to me missing it.

Contrary to her opinion, I couldn't see why I should miss this important class, just to go get drunk at a party. I loved her family and knew it was a big deal. But our family's welfare was top priority in those days (it still is). I couldn't see why she didn't understand that if we were going to have kids, and I know she was counting on that as much as I was, that we'd need a bigger house and a better financial situation. I was up for a raise at the time and maybe a promotion. Being more educated in my field would help me attain that goal.

We both knew having kids was important. Being from a staunch Catholic family like hers, children were a constant subject of conversation. I remember her parents Paul and Norma, pestering Megan about it so much she told them to stop. They even asked me how many kids I wanted the night we announced our engagement. I can remember many times they teased us about having kids during family events. Some of her relatives used to joke that Megan had the right body for making babies, that she had "baby making hips", as they said. We all laughed at that. It was a pointed joke, funny, but we both knew they were serious.

Actually, I was ready to get her pregnant on our honeymoon. My new bride was a big, buxom beautiful woman and I wanted nothing more than to knock her up and have a new baby to spoil. I know Megan wanted that too. That was one thing we talked about at length before we married. But she told me, and I agreed with her, that we should wait a few years until our finances were solid. I remember how poor I was when I was a kid and wanted better for my family. When she told me she wanted to wait a bit, I thought it was a sensible decision.

Remembering those conversations gave me a chill. If she was being truthful with me about waiting, and I believed at the time she was, then how'd she get pregnant less than six months later? I was using condoms at the time because Megan had trouble with the pill. I didn't really like condoms, but they were less messy and complicated than other methods with spermicides and diaphragms. She had me using them from the time I met her, so I had to get used to them.

We always enjoyed a lot of oral sex, giving and receiving. So our sexual activities weren't always using condoms. In fact I shot a lot of sperm during our fondling, mutual masturbation and oral sex sessions. There was no condom then and I sure enjoyed it. If we wanted intercourse, we'd get each other hot and bothered and when it was time, I'd strap one on and charge full speed ahead.

That worked fine right until she let me know she was pregnant with Jimmy. I know that no form of protection is totally fool proof. At the time we just decided one of my swimmers somehow got past the condom and did the job. In any event it was a blessed event for Megan and I, not to mention her whole family who was thrilled to death. Even better was with her pregnant I could fuck her bare back anytime I wanted. We celebrated the night we made the announcement with a wild sexual marathon, and I haven't thought a thing about it until yesterday.

After breakfast Megan got the kids ready for church. I made an excuse that I wasn't feeling good and told her to go without me. It wasn't a lie. My head was exploding with unpleasant scenarios about how Jimmy's DNA results had come out so different than what I would have expected. I went back to bed as they got ready for Sunday Mass. When they were ready to leave, Megan brought the kids into the bedroom to say good bye. Jimmy hugged me and said he wished I felt better. My little princess Susan was all dressed up in her white Sunday dress and looked so cute I nearly cried as she kissed me. Megan kissed me on my forehead and told me to sleep and maybe I'd feel better.

When they got home I had already gotten up and eaten something. Megan fixed the kids some food and they all sat down to eat. I joined them at the table but didn't partake in the meal. I listened with delight to Jimmy chattering away about something, and Susan giggling at something he was saying. Megan added her comments, but was watching me out of the corner of her eye.

God I loved my family!

The rest of Sunday I spent out doors. I interacted pleasantly with Megan, but tried not to get into any long conversations. I was afraid if I said too much I'd get choked up and lose it. I played kid games with little Susan and her dolls. She loved that. I also kicked the ball around with Jimmy. As usual he was placing the ball easily while I was barely able to control it. He even did something he called a bicycle kick that sent the ball flying directly behind him. He laughed like crazy when it hit me in the head and I couldn't stop it. The rest of the time my son rang rings around me and I could see the future talent in his game.

Needless to say I was a basket case at work on Monday. I was distracted by my thoughts and made a few stupid errors in my software programming. My Boss noticed and asked me what the hell was wrong. I made some excuse and he gave me the afternoon to think about it. He told me he needed me to concentrate on my job, and to get my head out of my ass. I left work early and went straight home to think.

I was surprised when Megan came home that day without the kids. Once Susan went to kindergarten and didn't need day care, she went back to work for a Financial Services Company, as an administrative assistant. Her hours are flexible which allows her to pick up the kids after school. As she walked in the door alone she had a sober look on her face.

"Where's the kids?"

"They're at Rita's." She said without explanation.

"You're home early."

"Yeah." I sighed. She waited a moment for me to explain why.

When I didn't, she asked softly, "Is there something bothering you Sean?"

I was sitting on the sofa and she had moved in front of me. As she spoke I could see her eyes tear up. Her cheeks were flushed, and she had a very serious look on her face.

At that moment I had to make a decision. Should I lay my cards on the table or keep dicking around with my suspicions? I've been driving myself crazy all weekend about what to do. Hire a private Detective? A Lawyer? Should I follow her around like an idiot trying to catch her and her unnamed lover? Play some devious game to trap her into a confession? Or go out and spend a fortune on surveillance cameras and audio recorders to document her suspected affair?

Fuck that shit!

Dammit! This is my wife we're talking about! The love of my whole god damn life! Not some simple minded character in a weird Hollywood movie! Megan's no fool. She's the woman I've given my heart to for nearly fourteen years! Over eleven years in marriage in the greatest relationship I could ever hope for! She's given me two kids that I love to death.

Besides that, I'm no CIA spy or tenth degree black belt from Seal team Six. I'm an average, honest, hard working, middle class guy who can't figure out what the hell's going on with the love of my life. I've had it. I'm so done fucking around with all my suspicions. No more games. Its time to fish or cut bait.

During the awkward pause, Megan repeated, "I know something's wrong Sean. Is there something we should talk about? Please tell me honey."

I looked at her in the eye and stated, "Yeah. I think there is."

Megan's eyes lowered to the coffee table. A tear ran down her cheek. I've never seen her look so sad and it was breaking my heart. I wanted to hold her and kiss her tear away. I did everything I could to hold back my emotions.

Before I could say anything, Megan opened her purse, took out a paper and laid it on the coffee table in front of me.

She sat down in the chair across from the sofa and asked quietly, "Does it have to do with this?"

My eyes widened when I saw Jimmy's DNA report sitting there. I glanced up at her and then back at that damn document.

"Yes." I replied, feeling as bad as I've felt in 15 years. "I see you found it."

"I found it in the desk. Jimmy told me about it yesterday at church. He said ever since you saw that report you've been upset and he didn't know why."

I kept quiet. I didn't want to start crying. This was important and I had to hold it together.

"He said he wanted me to throw it away." She said, wiping away a tear. "I told him that I'd speak to you about it."

"So, what about it?"

Megan pulled a tissue from her purse and blew her nose. She wadded it up and got another one and dabbed the tears forming in her eyes.

"As soon as I saw it I knew what it was about. I knew what you'd think so I called Rita today. She told me you called and asked about Reggie. I've been waiting to talk to you about this for a long, long time Sean."

"I'm so ashamed, but I won't deny what happened. No way I can anyway. You're no fool Sean and you deserve honesty. God knows how long I've wanted to tell you. But I couldn't."

"Couldn't? Shit. That's rich. I'm your husband Megan. No secrets, right?"

"Sorry. I know that's no excuse. I've wanted so bad to tell you." She sobbed for a moment before regaining control. "I'll tell you everything now. I do love you ya know. But before today I wasn't going to tell you until Jimmy was a little older."

"Why?"

"He's young. How could a little kid handle knowing you weren't his biological father. Don't get me wrong my love. You ARE his father in every sense of the word except one. That bastard Reggie is certainly no father."

"So it is Reggie then?"

"Yes. I made a mistake early in our marriage. I'm ashamed of it and completely disappointed in myself that I let it happen. But it did happen and once I was pregnant, there was no way I could give up the baby. You know my family and the way I was raised. I just couldn't give it up. And I knew if you found out the truth it could ruin our family."

She sniffled, took a breath, then looked straight at me.