All Comments on 'Just Once: A Sequel Pt. 01'

these thing are getting MORE byzantine, more banal, more pointless, more convoluted

.

If you start in spot A and end in spot B like every other itineration it doent matter how much torturous back trail you fill it with

Damn

The only thing I have to say author is that you think too much. It wasn't a bad tale but it was all mumbo jumbo. I wait for part 2 to see how your conclusion goes but I don't really have much faith in it. I hope to be pleasantly surprised but we'll see...

Wow! I really want to read the next part.....like right now! Well done!

Gd waiting for part 2

Wow, someone actually took the time to come up with a believable explanation for the wife's behavior. Not bad at all, despite the absence of fire ants.

.

You didn't contribute anything to the February Sucks story challenge, but that story involved a Martian Slut Ray of a different caliber (or however they determine the ray size). That one featured a seemingly perfectly in-love wife who turned her back on her husband without hesitation, when presented an opportunity to cheat with a celebrity.

Good start on an ending. You do, however, need to learn the difference in "your" and "you're". You're welcome is the proper expression. Your husband won't like it is the correct usage of "your."

On the back of this, I read your other ( at this date ) story. I really enjoy your writing and hope to read much more of it in the future.

Kalimaxos has a lot to answer for with his unfinished tale. There has been a mixed bag of attempts, ranging from the banal to the dreadful. So far, this is heads above the following crowd. I look forward to further instalments.

Vee

Lack Lustre.

Adds nothing to this " Done to Death" sequel

Don't apologize for giving a plausible finish to a story. The author who wrote under "Finishthedamnstory", was one of the most enjoyed writers in LW. Since that author is no longer around, perhaps there is a mantle waiting for you to pick up. Your first two efforts have been top notch and enjoyable. Never feel you should ask forgiveness for giving us your time and effort to provide what is free entertainment.

Just part 1? Too boring to not end here!

Just a quick note to say I loved the story. Well written has a good pace, not too fast not to slow, detail where it need to to be.

I don't let the star ratings you have been give stop you from writing more stores. You have the ability to write great short stories, most on here are like reading a news report, just a bunch of facts one after the other.

You have the gift please keep on writing. I look forward to the next chapter.

Well written, can't wait for part 2

Well done! excellent use of the base story to weave a trail that captures the readers interest. Are the assumptions correct? Will it play out as anticipated? Will DrTrey prove to be the scumbag we think and will there be consequences? Looking forward to part 2

Please hurry up with part 2.

This story shows par excellence what our society and this author are failing about: We are more concerned about the perpetrator than about the victim! It may be important for the "after" to find out what the problem was, but at the moment of the act only one thing counts: the act was committed and I have to decide how to cure the "injury". In this plot it means that the wife breaks her marriage vows consciously and without inhibitions and gives the husband an ultimatum - eat or die - !!! Why she gave the ultimatum and how it comes about are completely irrelevant at the moment. Now is the time to protect the "victim". To decide in this case he may or may not live with the act. End!!! It is completely irrelevant why a murderer shoots his victim. The victim is dead! But our society tends to ask first why he killed the victim and whether any reasons to justify it could be found. A cheater is a cheater and has committed the deed. What's the point in pondering why he became a cheater. It no longer undoes the act!

Way too long filled with really boring crap.

As in everything, there are the slow burners and the hotrods. This is a slow burner with deep character analysis. It isn't for a quick fix, but it is for a nice prolonged and thoughtful read.

Good job, awaiting the sequel!

A lot of navel gazing and psycho-babble to try and explain Marcy's fuckedupness when her cheating comes down to her entitlement. Her attitude toward Rick is one of toxic contempt and her entitlement issues tell her she deserves her affair with Dr. Strangedick. She's pretty self deluded if she thinks Rick would even consider staying with her after rubbing her affair in Rick's face the way she did. This relationship is well past its expiration date and stinks worse than rotten garbage. Rick's not much of an analytic mind if it took him days and a visit to Angela for her psycho-babble to finally convince him he needed to divorce the cheating bitch.

I found the therapist sections to be too long and tedious which simply added 2-3 pages of filler that didn't add anything substantive.

Too long

Agree with lujon2019’s assessment. I might argue that your follow up, along with almost all others, was doomed from the beginning because the original storyline was so preposterous that it left no room for original/meaningful/interesting follow up.

Keep up the good work

great part 1

i always have a laugh at the comments too long too short too drawn out too much to the point too much this too much that not enough this not enough that

who gives a shit?

the authors do their best to tell their story in their own way .... AT LEAST RESPECT THAT

i wish i had some of the talent of putting words onto the screen as so many authors on this site do but alas when god gave out the writing talent i was gone awol .... LOL

Way too many words

Why would you try to explain emotional logic to a numb-nut?

It's a good attempt at finishing the story. Of course, it could have been shorter but, the detail adds a whole additional level of complexity and you have written it well. I understand that some readers will be impatient but I look forward to the next part.

Thank you

Excellent! The BEST ending in this franchise, yet!

Wayyyyyyy too long and makes him look like a wishy-washy, petulant child. I thought he was a battle hardened vet? Write him one way or the other and stick with it.

Page 2

Depressed boy goes to see cat lady. Perfect

Well done. My attempt at an ending did not contain your detail. I liked the way you unravel the psychological impact on both main characters. Good luck with Part 2.

I stand corrected. Lesbian cat lady.

Well written, 5 ⭐️s!

I learned a new phrase, Coney Island Whitefish, and my wife's from NYC!

Well done. Deep, deep dive on feelings, thoughts, and emotions. Perhaps too much, but you laid out your logic flow!

Great job!

Way to much "Talk". Story should have finished in 5 page with face to face.

Most of the comments to date are pure bullshit. You've written a great piece that explores the original story in a new way. (Hard to do with all the sequels.) If I had to criticize, given who Rick is and his background there would DEFINTELY been retribution on the doctor. We haven't seen part 2, so there is still hope. I could buy in your explanation of why he didn't do anything to him on the trip. If the doctor does dump Marcy when Rick divorces her, validating his theory, I would certainly rain hell on a sexual predator that deceived and emotionally destroyed a woman I had loved for over 20 years... 5* for now.

God Almighty this is awful. Every paragraph it's the same thing deep down more she still loves you. If you go for the story that was said 12 times!!!!

5 pages of the most boring Idiotic ridiculous over analysis's under most pathetically awful story ever written in a loving wives of genre

No offense, but can we go back to "January Sucks" sequels? Or just not. I mean, it went on and on. What this person thought Marcy was doing. What this other person thought. The therapist's thoughts. How Marcy's affair would affect the children. Their thoughts. The real estate broker's feelings. A note from Grampa Munster. Who really cares?

She went to get some dick she couldn't get at home. And did it in a way that really was over-the-top cruel. If a man can accept that, great. if not, who gives a fuck what those other people think or her motivations?

And, would it be too much to ask to just write an original story with the plot elements "wife tells husband she's going to fuck someone else" instead of regurgitating the same story, which, really is just derivative of various "Honey We Have To Talk" stories? Takes two minutes...

You have taken this in the correct direction. It is too long, with too much psycho analysis. It is unfinished, though, even with its length. I am hoping for a shorter part two with basically just Marcy's downfall.

This is the most logical and consistent with the character in the original story. I liked that he didn't go nuclear in the response to his wife and doctor. In this version the doctor was more responsible since you have him moving to resume a years long affair. You spent too much time babbling with the psychiatrist before he had the facts. I don't know how the Dr. could say the Marcy still loved him but hated him. I look forward to your finish. I expect that you will be getting inside of Marcy's head and watch her disappointment when the doctor makes it clear he's not marrying a cheating whore. Thanks for your work.

It will be interesting to see the next chapter of your sequel so I hope it appears soon. I also hope you decrease a lot of your conversations or explanations. Too much physo babble with his good friend and his final letter wasn't in keeping with a military mind. Think about what needs to be said, say it, and then sit down for other comments or points of view. In other words: Stand up; Speak up; Shut up.

Even though I thought it was a very long and in some parts, yes, tedious to read, but I have to hand it to the author on how well-thought of the dialogues are. It was amazingly realistic, and the author managed to portray the agony of Rick trying to analyze and even rationalize Marcy's bitch moves. The effort the author njlauren into the dialogues between Angela and Rick was outstanding in my opinion. Again well done njlauren.

When Phoebe goes on patrol in one of those tin cans, she is separated from anyone but her crew for 6 long months. Who the hell is Phoebe, the daughter was named Ronda.

You clearly were never in the Navy or did much research about submarines. You may deploy for six months, but that is just from your home port. The average sub can only carry a one month supply of food, if someone was to read this and not know, you would be turning them into steel coffins.

May part two be better.

Blah, blah, blah...he sure likes to hear himself blather on. What a bunch of psychobabble BS. I hope he gets some satisfaction eventually.

I bailed in the middle of the conversation with Angela. Too boring to continue.

I thought this was far better than most of the other attempts to complete the story. For one thing it was the first to seriously consider the 'playing with soldiers' point. However, in reaching for reasons why she might be increasingly less respectful of her husband the author did not come up with the obvious reason. Her career involved doing something important and saving lives. Any intelligent military spouse can read daily about the ill-conceived and incompetent invasions of the Middle East and Afghanistan costing thousands of innocent lives and achieving virtually nothing while imperiling their marriage. If you respected your spouse you'd want them out of that mess as soon as possible. Let Saddam deal with the jihadis (he's really good at handling insurrections and he hates Iran)...oh, he's dead? Whoops! Sorry about that.

You were right, way too much meaningless conversation. At least half of the story was his sit down with Angela and his farewell letter sent with the divorce papers. Something I'm sure she won't read. I guess your submitting another part, hopefully it's concise, but I have my doubts. You are an excellent wordsmith please keep writing.

Good writing so far. Oh, and that bit about how he "would always love Marcy" Yeah, NO. That's a fantasy romantic idea, or if real a neuroses.

Been there, done that. Don't hate her, no anger, just don't care at all. Realized that within 6 months, I didn't wonder where she was, didn't wonder what she was doing. Not a part of my life and now hasn't been for so many years, couldn't muster a single give-a-shit then, can't now.

Just love all the annons complaining about the ending of the story. Gee, I wonder what “END OF PART 1” means?

You did a bit of overkill on the whole psychology thing. It kinda reads like you were justifying your plan for the rest of the story. Having said that, it DID have some interesting insights as what was happening in Marcy’s fucked up head.

Pretty well written. Looking forward to the next installment.

I think it's a shame because you have distorted the character of Rick.

It looked like a weather vane.

I do / I don't

While everyone is telling him the truths about his wife to his face, he never makes any decisions.

Incomprehensible.

he is a senior army officer, former intelligence officer, and former pilot. Collecting information and making quick and efficient decisions must be in its DNA.

But you've written too much Psycho blah-blah and too indecisive.

One thing that really bothers me both in real life and fiction, is when a married person with children cheats and people act as if the betrayal has nothing to do with the kids, only the wronged spouse. I strongly beg to differ! That is a betrayal of the entire family. It disrupts all of their lives, especially if it results in divorce.

I understand Marcy was a good mom before. But the key word there is WAS! She was a good wife at some point also right? It's not about how she was in the past. It's about how she is NOW!

This type of selfish behavior is probably harder on minor children old enough to understand what's happening. But adult children are often negatively affected as well. And in this story, Marcy goes so far as to ignore/abandon her children just as she is doing to Rick. If this is only between the two of them, why do that?

As was mentioned in the story, it's likely because she wants to forget about her real life and be a partner to Trey. Well her kids are a part of her real life. So they are being forgotten in the same fashion Rick is. Also, they LOVE their Dad, in hurting him she's hurting them. (By-the-way, her wearing Trey's ring is inexcusable and disgusting!)

The fact is, when a parent chooses to betray their spouse, they are also doing so to their children. Said children, regardless of age, have every right to be angry and hurt. And should not be expected to just forgive and "be there for" the cheating parent. That's not fair to ask of them. I hope the kids here let Marcy know what they really think of her and her behavior, and how she's hurt them. She more than deserves it!

This is a very solid sequel. You kept Rick in character: after many years in military intelligence, he fell back on his training. Just reaching out to Angela (a trusted professional) for help gaining clarity, fits. In some parts, the dialogue might be too wordy, not be direct enough for a career military officer. His letter to Marcy was definitely too wordy, but the messages were a solid decomposition of events.

It would really be fitting, if Rick asked Leslie and Vincent to serve Marcy at the airport. Leslie to hand her the envelope (as Marcy used Leslie to deliver hers), and Vince to get a photo. Plus, it would guarantee Leslie the opportunity to let Marcy know how she disliked being used.

Ending ruined it. Spent two pages on figuring out why and then regurgitating the same thing in a letter?? What purpose would it serve? Is a light bulb going to go off above her head after this? Letter could have said, " Got your message you want the marriage over and to marry him. No problem. Sign the divorce papers because we are permanently done. Don't call or write. Goodbye. "

Very well crafted indeed, for which I thank you. I am looking forward to part two which is something 'ImNotananon' has completely missed. One careless part was in the final conversation with Angela. She regrets that they are speaking remotely rather than face to face; then some of the language and imagery switches to a personal meeting. I shall be following you as an author and look forward to part two and then a creation of your own. Very best wishes G

At least five of your "of"s should have been "haves".

This gives by far the clearest and most believable analyses and explanations of Marcy’s actions. Very satisfying and very, very well done!

My only concern is that Rick should have written a much shorter letter. (I say this as someone who would have been tempted to write, and probably would have written, just the letter Rick wrote.) People often respond poorly when we tell them what (we believe) they were thinking and feeling, and what (we think) their motivations were. It would have been enough (and provoked less defensiveness) if he had simply detailed the ways in which her actions were disrespectful and far from loving, without speculating about how (he guesses) the good doctor wormed his way into her heart and panties. This was a time when less would have been more.

Sadly, I could not finish this story. I liked the depth being searched and vetted, but there is too much bloat and too many mistakes. Nonetheless, you show promise and should continue writing.

___Anon8675309

I appreciate the comments pro and con. In terms of the conversations I love dialog and am still working out the balance between that and narrative. I spent a lot of time editing this,trying to bring it down and I wasn't totally happy with it.

As far as Rick goes he may be military but he is still a human being with feelings. A lot of stories on here fail IMO because the cheated on spouse gets drunk,dumps the bitch and moves on,I didn't see Rick like that. The thing is he truly loved her and he is a decent enough man that he would feel guilt over what he had done and it would be hard on him. One of the things anyone who has ever done therapy knows is logic and emotion are 2 different things and emotion is powerful,enough to make someone use logic to rationalize the illogical. Marcy is doing that,she rationalized that giving Rick a hall pass would make them equal and convinced herself this was a fling, when as I pointed out made no sense given her behavior.

With Marcy I don't know how anyone could think I was defending her. Those saying ',she was just a cheating slut' are pulling the martian Slut Ray, like February sucks. The whole point of this story was to try and answer why she could behave like this and from personal experience anger turned inward could drive a Marcy to do this. She basically resented Rick being away do much,hated being the wife at home, and that anger let her believe Rick was tripping the light fantastic when Trey slimes his way in..Marcy is not sympathetic and in part 2 you I hope will get an idea of how screwed up she is and yes conflicted. That conflict explains why she can love Rick and yet hate him too.

Human beings are not black and white and delude themselves into a lot of things,emotions do that.

For those who commented on it, I debated about the letter with Marcy and the counselor session. Obviously they repeat much the same material,I could have mentioned the therapy and described the letter but I also wanted people to see that Rick had come to the Rubicon

I screwed up the daughter's name, that was my bad. In terms of submariners on patrol I stand by what I wrote, I had friends who were on missile and attack subs and they said exactly what I wrote,that they had very limited communication with home and research I did said the same thing.

Part 2 was submitted,should be out in a day or 2,was written at the same time. As such it likely will suffer from some of the criticisms in part 1, it is not quick but again I hope it gives final closure to the arc of this, there is a confrontation between he and Marcy.

One note on writing pieces for here, it isn't easy, and with some exceptions most people put a lot of time and effort into writing for here,they want it to be good,they want people to enjoy it,and with the exception of a couple of authors who write stories to piss people off, most don't. Keep that in mind when writing comments and try not to take it personally. On the other hand I am kind of honored that Harryva didnt like it,meant he read it and I join a rogues gallery who got Harryized:)

Generally very well thought out. Yes a bit too long but as a former military pilot whose wife had an affair while deployed, I felt your analysis of the situation was spot on. I too was accused of "playing soldier" and of having affairs ( I was in the middle of a desert and saw exactly one woman the entire 8 mo for chrissakes). My wife's law school classmate who was a pacifist and hated the military used every trick in the book to belittle me, my job and our mission to lure her into bed (successfully) while painting a noble picture of the law profession that they were embarking on together.

While I felt that ypur analysis was useful and interesting I can see where others felt it was over the top. The truth is that it's real world. Very few people, presented in that situation immediately go to burn the bitch mentality. We mourn the loss of the x years we spent in the relationship. We remember the good times and find ourselves wishing they could magically go back. If there are kids we hate the fact that their reality will change and explore every option to minimize that by keeping the marriage alive. We go through every scenario on how not to lose the marriage and the relationship.

The reality catches up to most of us though. It can never go back and trust can never be fully restored.

In my case I did burn the bitch to some extent but only by looking out for myself and our child. BTB is very rarely as definite and as satisfying as many of the stories in literotica. No one is truly evil and no one usually admits that they ever made a mistake, even the cheater.

Very few actually get left destitute and die lonely old ladies. Many of us don't get the perfect life or a supermodel second wife. That being said I am quite happy with my 2nd wife and my life but from all appearances so is the cheating 1st wife - as much as I wanted her to rot in hell at the time.

I will agree that Rick's letter to Marcy was way too long and out of character for him. My guess is that she would have read about a quarter of it, tossed it aside because she's probably not self relative enough at this point to care much about her part in it. Short and sweet would have been more effective for her and more in line with Rick's character.

Looking forward to Pt 2.

Page 3

Talk, talk, talk. She’s a cheating bitch. Dump her.

Good story but LOTS of verbiage. Like there were two women in the marriage.

You have a good insight into the characters and a good direction for the plot. You get repetitive, however. The concluding letter is pretty much a rehash of the psychiatrist's analysis right down to the Coney Island whitefish simile. You also have a few grammar glitches: "could of" instead of "could've," which is the contraction for "could have." Your instincts are good; you need to work on the packaging.

An amazing approach, best of all I read so far.

Ok, ANOTHER ending to this story by Kali's intriguing tale. When does it really stop. Again we have Rick TRYING to figure out what to do. He calls someone else who wasn't involved in the original story. Keep to the script. This story is long and drawn out with meaningless dialog with newbie, Dr. Angela, which this version didn't need. I also agree with "whogivesashit" that his letter to Marcy is too wordy, just could have been shortened, didn't have to go over as too whys, who's, and what's happened to the lost marriage. It's over, no background or explanation needed.... This version is fair but added too much going over and over of events. Where is the pain, the revenge against everyone involved, especially Dr. Trey and the bitch, Marcy. The better ending versions of this story has Rick getting satisfaction and divorce. For me, so far, this is 2/5 stars

what drivel

Loved it. Well written, yes a lot f dialogue but most of it was really fitting and helped flesh it out.

The letter at the end was nothing but a condensed version of the previous 4 pages. Yes we get her wanted to let he rknow that he knew what was going on BUT, we already knew it all. Could have just did a quick synopsis like "My letter to Marcy essentially spelled out everything I knew and came to know from my conversations with Angela" etc etc.

Someone put a bullet in this dead horse and end it now!!

A lot of psychobabble to get to the right spot. Too much psychobabble IMHO.

Burning her is the only way forward for Rick. Emotional death is the only way forward for her.

One thing though, why do authors here always kiss off the feelings of the kids, and reduce it to “this has nothing to do with you, it is just between me and her. Your mother still loves you”

The truth is these cheating events alway affect the kids, they always wreck families.

So the kids have just as much a stake in what the cheater does as the victim of cheating.

Everyone has a stake in how the cheater deals with his or her marriage, never leave the kids out, they have feelings too.

In situations with my friends the kids if old enough never go with the cheater, the inflicted hurt is too much.

They go with a cheating bitch, if they are young, but will return to Dad when old enough to understand what the cheater did to their family.

Kids are not fools don’t treat them as such in your stories.

Some sequels from a different author are hit or miss, this I am happy to say hit and hit hard. Feels like a natural follow up to the original and extremely well written. Glad to see you aren't having Rick accept it even if you understandably had him wondering whether he should. Very glad you are continuing this too, look forward to see how it plays out. 5 stars, quite an enjoyable read.

Loved it. One of the best sequels to this story. The writing was a bit rough and stilted in spots but I overlooked that because your version was so much more compelling and deep than what others had offered. Great job. Can't wait for the next part where the bitch will get burned not by the hubby but by the sleazeball doctor.

Yuck….no way is this a retired Army Colonel. The conversations with his friend drug on and on and felt like lectures. I just wanted it to over because the same things kept being said over and over.

I would highly recommend getting someone to proofread your work. There are a lot of errors that they could help you clean up.

Good first part of a follow-up. I'm looking forward to your handling of when she returns. I think you have kept true to the characters that had any depth to them in the original.

A few details went awry but didn't ruin the story:

"Should of" is not a thing. "Should've" is the thing that sounds like it and is correct, as a contraction of "should have."

The doctor's last name is "Cardosa," not "Cordoza." His first name, for no good reason, is "Tray" and not the nickname "Trey" that people use for the third generation of a name. I think the writer who called him "Platter" was making fun of this weird spelling.

The daughter's name is "Rhonda," not "Phoebe."

Blah, blah, blah. Long winded pseudo psychology bullshit! It doesn’t matter why, all that matters is the betrayal. Once you know of it, you get rid of her and move on!

Awful lot of analysis and regurgitation of it in Rick's letter. Leslie, the Shrink, the PI. A bit too much. Could have been 1/2 as long. Otherwise not bad. 3 Stars.

Another long and boring story about weak pussy trying to justify letting his slut of a wife get away with treating him like shit.

I enjoyed this part of your treatment of the sequel to Kal’s little story. You’ve taken it in a different direction than most of the others. You’ve maintained Marcy’s narcissistic personality, but taken away Rick’s take no prisoners attitude in reacting to her cheating. I hope that in part two Rick plans something special for both cheaters, especially Dr Trey. Poisonous spiders, or pickled thumbs would be a good start or finish. A very good effort.

YAWN, this was at least 2 pages too long and there is more to come?

In almost all versions the ied event is korea..... isnt that wrong? Iraq or Afghanistan has lotsa ieds,.... korea has bad food that’ll provide explosive gas. Cant say ive read about kim jon un ieds tho. I just despise that fat little fucker

Very nice start! So far, I think this is the best continuation of this storyline out there. I also agree with one of the other critics about your frequent use of "of" when "have" is the correct word. People do talk like this in real life dialogue, but they're not saying "of", they're using the contraction "'ve" to replace "have". For example, "I should've resisted the urge to be a grammar cop", is correct when written but sounds just like the incorrect "I should of resisted the urge to be a grammar cop" :-)

The betrayed husband's response to the letter is limp at best. His wife just announced that she's gone abroad for a six-week fuckathon with her lover and the husband is flip-flopping about how to save his marriage?

This isn't how servicemen I know would respond. Just imagine Colonel Jessop from "A few good men" acting like this pathetic excuse for a man!

Enjoyed the story and look forward to Part 2, however, the letter which simply reiterated information previously discussed was a waste of time.

Super FANTASTIC end proposal and OUTSTANDING letter!!!! Congratulations!!!!! I would love to read part 2 ;)

This sequel does a really good job for us of getting into the heads and hearts of the characters.

@lujon2019, did you ever hear the expression "it's the journey, not the destination?" Just because stories go from Point A to Point B doesn't mean that it doesn't matter how you got there. Flying from Boston to LA is a completely different story than taking the train, or driving or whatever, and the story is in those details.

\

Forgetting the Red Roof Inn for the moment, supposedly Trey is "payback" for Deidre, yet Trey is being offset by Leslie, so won't she STILL need payback for Deidre?

\

"Marcy was coming on duty well before her time each day, like an hour and a half to 2 hours." - My recollection wasn't that she arrived on duty early, but at the motel early, with the implication that she was spending the time in the hotel.

\

Too much time spent on the dime store analysis with Angela.

\

"her behavior was a reflection on their married relationship, not the one with the kids." - Why do so many stories do this? Of COURSE it was a reflection of her relationship with the kids, as reflected in her lack of contact with them.

\

You lost the italics on the letter on Page 4.

I gave you one star. I hate unfinished works. If the ending is as as good as the first part you will get a five. Most readers care more about plot and flow than a wrong word placement here and there.

Overall an excellent job. I am looking forward to yout first independent contributionl

I am embarrassed, those of you who wrote about the 'should of' are correct, should of is kind of like ain't, it is used but is not correct.

With the letter I had the same thoughts as others but I see people's points with not using it. I thought it would show that Rick.had crossed the Rubicon with what to do, but as someone pointed out the divorce papers said that.

For one commenter, Korea was his long deployment that caused so much trouble. The IED was Iraq.

In terms of Marcy and the hotel and getting in early, the original story does not say she went into the hotel when she got there,only she arrived early to park.I chose to believe Marcy when she said she didn't have sex when he was in Korea but she went in early to be around Trey at the hospital as they were having an emotional affair. Kalimaxos left that open.

As far as Rick's character goes,he is far from Jessup or the rah rah hard guy. If he was like them, he would have had the PI go ahead and find out what Marcy had been doing and would have divorced her; he didn't because he felt guilty at being away so long. A hard ass wouldn't feel guilty about what he had done with Deidre and even think it was the same thing as Marcy. If he was a hard ass the story would have ended when he was in Korea or the moment he got wind she was cheating in Colombia...but he isn't.

For the person who gave me 1 for an unfinished story, it is labelled part 1 and has end of part 1 in it,so what gives?

With Rick telling the kids this is about him and Marcy he is trying to do the right thing. Of course kids are hurt by the actions of the parents and he doesn't sugarcoat what Marcy did. On the other hand what hurts kids even more in a divorce is being put in the middle of it, used as a pawn by parents, forced to take sides. He is biting his tongue and trying not to use them as a pawn or have them throw away their relationship w her unless they have to.

Part 2 was written at the same time as part 1 so it shares some of the same issues. It is not a page or 2 but should be shorter than part 1. I kept the story in line with how I see Rick. One spoiler, Marcy is punished but it isn't Rick going nuclear on her, he wouldn't, it wasn't his nature.

.

Well you are striking a nerve here. Some love it and some hate it. For the haters a story of two or three paragraphs would do it but where is the fun in that?

I thought this was a well written (except for the use of would of instead of would've) story that shows you have a talent for writing and I look forward to your conclusion. I thought this worthy of 5 stars.

Before voting I want to read the whole series. So I'm waiting for the next chapter.

So far it's one of the better sequeles - in my opinion.

Good story the only problem I had was Rick's pussy thoughts of taking her back, Im glad in the end he finally grew a pair. marcy and trey are a scummy pair that need some type of punishment, it would be for their benefit to help them become decent human beings.

The letter at the end was basically a too-long, didn't-read of the whole plot.

I could not enjoy this story due to its wordiness. A bunch of people trying to psychoanalyze a person they have never met is also ridiculous. I do not really see how your continuation advance the story. His letter suffers the same curse. Words and words of speculation that, ultimately, does not add anything to the correspondence her letter started.

A better ending would be. "The next day I began all the activities required for divorce. There truly was no other option. The end."

A much better ending with far fewer words. And it makes sense.

If you can learn to not be long-winded, I think you can write good stories.

A better ending would be. "The next day I began all the activities required for divorce. There truly was no other option. The end."

A much better ending with far fewer words. And it makes sense.

If you can learn to not be long-winded, I think you can write good stories.

ManoBlue3 days ago

Too long and he was having all those wimpy thoughts""........ Damn there are so many people here who I agree with.

What a load of nothing.The next part needs to be a lot better,like the version where he causes them all sorts of problems in Columbia.

blah blah blah,

too wordy for me.

Maybe part 2 will be better

Thank you

Pleeeeaaaase, no RAAC in part 2.

njlauren, you say that Rick wouldn't burn Marcy to the ground, it's not in his nature. That's because you as the writer have emasculated him. Your bullshit about the kids is just that. Pure bullshit. Marcy the slut just ruined every holiday or family event forever. Not just for the kids but their kids as well. No going for Christmas at grandpa and grandma's place. All the ignorant ass writers who espouse the view that divorce is just between the cheated on spouse and the asshole simply neglect reality.

I'd also have to say that l believe you to be a cheating slut if you're willing to accept that Marcy was showing up at a motel 2 hours before her shift and was NOT fucking someone or someones while Rick was in Korea. Only someone guilty of this same kind of moral rot could not see whats obvious. Does your husband/partner know? Or maybe he's the kind of guy so many writers create on this site, pathetic, weak, spineless wimp. Waiting for the chance to suck some other guys cum out of your rancid cunt. If that's the case, I will have to give more credence to those stories. I'll still avoid them but I will know they're not a complete, sick fantasy.

Just wanted to add a note, part 2 was submitted a day after part 1 and it is in some sort of limbo, shows successfully submitted but it hasn't gone anywhere yet. I have a message into Laurel about it.

Please continue with the follow up of their lives and her recieving the divorce papers etc..

and the follow-up?

BTW, nice dissection by Angela!

I enjoyed the story for the most part, but there were a few details that had me scratching my head. That shrink Angela was really hot and heavy on re-enforcing a point about Marcy still in love with him. Then she come out with a statement like "I think deep down Marcy is still the woman who loves you but I don't think the person she is right now can feel that". That's like saying she used to love you, but not anymore. Much easier to digest, and a lot less wordy. But my version doesn't leave a RaaC on the table, where hers does. My next issue is there is no way a playboy like doc dickless is going to be kept on the leash for years without her giving him some. I remember my slut days, and I didn't go for married women, but I also didn't stick around for dick teases. I have a feeling that this will go down to the RaaC direction, such a shame, but I guess Cucks like it that way.