All Comments on 'Just Once... And Yes, I Mind Pt. 02'

Meh, the characters are not like the originals. Can't anyone finish this story with the original characters?

As much as I have come to hate the "February Sucks" versions, they at least have the virtue of following an interesting original. Nothing about Kalimaxos was ever interesting, and this isn't either.

Damn

Good tale but it really had nothing to do with the original. That's just a side note here. Still well written and a good read. I did like that the cunt had a kid. That was hilarious.

What a good story( or ending to another story) Love it. AAAAA+++++

I had no indication of where the story was going or where it would end up.

Congratulations on a job well done and a great 'First' story.

Enjoyed this, ending was funny had to the read the last page too make sure I read it right, would of been better if it included his return but still a good read.

In the great scheme of the story, a minor point, but a Navy Hospital ship displaces well over 70 tons, more like 27,000, give or take. That Dierdre appears to have supernatural powers!

What a load... Oh, btw, 1*

Just a side note on "It was a dangerous plan, as they could easily take our money, weapons, and training and still align with China, or just go rogue, but we had to make the effort."

No we do not have to make that effort because it does not end well for the good old US of A.

Think Iran, Al Qaeda, Vietnam, most of Latin America, Cuba, etc...

Maybe there should be an Action/Adventure category at Literotica. That was an exciting story. Well done.

This tale really took on a life of it's own, well done.

5/5

Loved where you took Klaximos’ storyline. Well done JA. 5*. When life allows i hope you the chance to write more.

Why did you even use the 'Just Once' story????? 1*

Well that was a surprise.

Awesome

did Gordenski train you? Yeah! Will I trained him and Rick trained me, Rambo and John Wick.

So, apparently Marcy cheated on James Bond. Or was it John Rambo?

Amazing how so many cheated on husbands are Clark Kent at home, and Superman away from it.

In the real world, cheated on husbands come from every walk of life; they’re school guidance counselors, working stiffs, firemen, accountants, doctors, grocery store workers, you name it.

There is a lot to commend this author for in this story. Some of the details are questionable.... BUT IT IS A STORY! and Thank You for a really good read. There is even a 'Loving wife' in it! There is also a skanky cheating slut wife in it too who produced a little bastard. It was a good ending to an original and enjoyable story by Kalimaxos It really 'put the story to bed' Thank You

Damn, I'm truly "old" in that I recognised the "Lost in Space" reference regarding Dr Smith. Plus, the "Flying High" reference re "I picked the wrong day to give up drinking". LOL. Anyway, a rather convoluted story that wandered far off the original track. Still, well done for being creative. Cheers.

Tom Clancy much? You kind of shoved a second, complete story into the conclusion of "Just Once..." After the wedding was over, this was way too much of a single-character wrap-up.

Awesome ending to this story. The only downsize was that Marcy (the bitch) wasn't somehow disemboweled by Diedre. Well done

For those who missed my comment today on chapter one, I understand things taking on a life of their own, believe me, it's happened to me! But it was only 1600 words, you KNEW you had more to write, why not wait? ESPECIALLY as you were already "finishing" an unfinished story! As a side note, by waiting you'd be more removed from the glut of follow-ups when people might be more receptive.

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The first half page, ending with the wedding completes the first story, then you have a COMPLETELY different story that has nothing to do with the first except the same protagonist and Diedre.

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A bit(?) OTT with him being some sort of an unstoppable killing machine.

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Rick will break Rick's arms? LOL.

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Why wouldn't he have sent Ami's sample at the same time as the fingers?

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The doctor's office held a "spare nuclear reactor?"

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Twice you called Kyle Rick just before the wedding,

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No veil or lace, but still sounds like a wedding gown, despite Janice's earlier comment.

Sorry but after she showed up with a kid and he had her leave and this turned into something totally different Just skimmed looking for it to go back to the original story. But it never really did.

You should have just written this story with a different beginning and put it in non erotic.

So… this was fine

but (aside from names and general character sketches) had literally nothing to do with the original.

It could have (should have) easily existed on its own without any reference to the ‘brilliant’ starter kit story.

Nicely done! As others have commented, we sure go far off the beaten path from the original story, but it was a welcome surprise and entertaining read. There were some editing errors in a couple places and some of the "time dilations" were abrupt, but not enough to distract. I often see readers comment about "super hero" husbands, but after reading hundreds of LW stories on this site, I candy they are far and few between so I don't "get" that comment. The original story distinctly says Rick spent his career in the dark world, per se. To ignore it, as some writers have in their follow-up versions, would not be true to the original character. Great first outing - 5*

A 70 ton hospital ship as big as 3 football fields? Your calculations are slightly wrong and you are missing a few 0’s on the 70 (sorry its the ex Navy sailor coming out in me). Other than that a good yarn.

Well done!!!!

A story created inside a story. Yep l loved it. An action story too with a decent touch of intrigue to boot

Scores 5/5

Damn!

It's a stand alone story.

What short of update ??

Is he in the Moon ?

A mad man's cry !

That was fun in a superhero way. I'm not sure I can relate to it, but I do like it when the good guy wins.

This had next to nothing to do with the original story. Shows some imagination though, keep up the writing.

A 6. Specfuckingtacular

Had to knock off points for a total ignorance of geopolitics and what is really going on, but once you get past the wing nut thinking, it was fun.

Oh, and the better reference would have been "I picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue" it is just a funnier image.

I meant "week"

"The wrong week to quit sniffing glue"

Ok Fantasy

This was nicely wrapped up. As I was reading I kept thinking this should be a stand alone not a continuing story. But with the final scene in Omaha it was tied up and brought together rather nicely - even though I think he was far too nice to Marcy.

This is the best of the bunch of follow-up stories! Five stars and a sixth if I can figure out how to award it!

Wow, that was some kind of an “ending,” yet I’m sure some anon will ask you to finish it. Hard to believe this was just your second offering, well done. I look forward to more from you, JA.

I quit at the end of the first page. Too much detail and related to the reunion with Marcy and why would Rick have to worry about his hands for surgery, shouldn't that have been Trey? You confused your characters for a moment there. 2 stars for just the first page.

Excellent read. 5*

This was a confusing mess.

Unrelated to the original.

The characters are different.

No punishment for the original culprits.

Poor sequel.

Very Fucking Todd172-lite! Well done. pls write more....

That was guide a story, and a very good one too. But other than using the names from the original it was a completely new story that had nothing resembling Kal’s work. Rick, with a little help from Diedre, turned into an Army of one. You’ve done this one, now go write another original piece.

Really different from all the other endings to this story, but I believe you have written the best one yet. If your other stories are nearly as good as this ending, I am sure you will acquire a strong following. Keep up your style. THANKS FOR A REALLY GREAT READ

Have to agree with Patria Nostra. A paragraph or 2 at the beginning and a couple at the end about the actual "just once" and the rest could have been a standalone action - drama.

We need to more stories like this. I don't get hung up in the minutia, just a good story. Keep developing your style and you'll be as good as Todd172 and dtiverson. Keep them coming!

So...Marcy's outcome from betraying her husband and family is: a new baby, marriage to a successful doctor (who stood by her and didn't lose his job), and protection from possible threats. Very disappointing. I understand bad decisions don't always result in bad lives for people in real life. But in fiction, when one behaves as Marcy did. It's hard to see them rewarded.

I am near Rick's age of 50. I have a daughter too, nicknamed Ami. She's eight now.

My heart just melt about Ami in the story. This story nearly made me cry.

A totally different take from the other versions, but the sequel worked. Nicely done.

What I didn't like is why was it necessary to have Marcy in the end? But this is his fiction.

NOW, THAT'S A STORY!!! 10 stars, the Bear thought it was great. The Bear approves. Write another one. Cruise missiles at 50 miles, just to make his point.

The BEAR GREAT!!

Didn't care all that much for the "Just Once" original or most of the follow ups - including your part 1. But you really made an entertaining story out of this part. Took it a totally different direction that was a very good read. You gave a good boost to the FDS (finish the damn story) genre and I hope to see more of your work.

Looking forward to a follow up.

Hard to score

xxx

As a sequel to K’s AND your Part 1….it was lame because it was almost completely a different story. 2**

xxx

But that different story was well written!

xxx

However…..the ending was a bit confusing and disjointed.

xxx

So….as a discrete ROMANCE category tale that was decently written…..4****. Look forward to more original stories from you!

This is a fun story in dating myself and you, JA. I got most all your references; Lloyd Bridges, Sea Hunt who was my inspiration in getting my NAUI/PADI. Dr. Smith indeed. I liked this one, but I never figured out how old Janice is. Thanks, he is a mans man that we all aspire to be! Almost 007.

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6* Hooyah, Salutes....

Obvious and usual.

And why is it so many of these stories have super soldiers? Its so fucking cliche

Holy shit

Excellent story! The thing movies are made of. Find yourself a very good proofreader to keep names and a few words straight and you are on your way to becoming a top story writer. Well done!

KRD19254...

The Lloyd Bridges reference was to the movie,"Airplane!". One of the funniest movies of all time. Written and directed by the Zucker Brothers.

Now to the story, how the hell did Marcy get to his door and why? I'm afraid that just made no sense to me. She ends up on the no fly list and immediately heads to his house. I don't get the leap of logic that brings that about.

You write well. I look forward to more.

Small detail: in addition to comments about the size of the Navy ship, you missed on the son-in-law‘s Navy rank. When first married, he was an LTJG, then later had become an Ensign; the problem is that an Ensign is the first and lowest rank of a commissioned naval officer, which he would’ve held before he became an LTJG. It only takes a couple of seconds to Google military ranks in order to make sure you get little things like this right.

Again, thanks for writing.

Very well done, Sir. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Hopefully you have a Part 3 in mind. 5/5.

Loved the story. But... Things may have changed in the past twenty years. In the Rota base in Cadiz bay, US citizens live near "el puerto de Santa Maria". And if I had to pick typical food from Rota, the most traditional dish is "Urta a la roteña" fish made rota style, seafood or fish. I do not blame you for going to Jerez to buy jewelry but I would go to the oldest city of western Europe, over three thousand years at minimum, that being Cadiz.

Did I say I loved the story?

OK. Interest tangent to Cameroon where Rick can find a new soul mate show his big heart by saving and adopting Ami and illustrate his machismo by assassinating the bad general and his security team. Do you see Clint Eastwood playing Rick in the movie?

I guess American military doesn’t have to follow laws or silly details about not murdering. It was fiction right?

Pretty good story but you got a lot to learn about military intelligence. It was almost believable until the move to Omaha, Nebraska was introduced. Two intel officers had “heard of Omaha”! Give me a freekin’ break. Omaha, NE (actually Bellevue) is home of something once called SAC and today is headquarters for United Stated Strategic Command (USSTRATCOM). Any intel officer knows that if you want to talk nuclear control that is your go to start point and they damn sure will know where it is located.

You should have stopped when they got married in Rota. Everything added after that was wasted words.

Grinning. Nice job. Looking forward to more of your efforts. Five stars.

Hard time getting into the exploits of Rick and Janice phase. Closed 1st story nicely but not ready to move on to Janice phase in next breath.

My sense is if you close out the 1st story in the 1st installment it would have been great. Probably 4 or 5 stars. Also, if you had introduce Janice as a part 2 follow up on Rick without the part 1 close out, then it would have been better received and likely 4 or 5 stars.

As presented, both installment missed the mark and feel like 3 stars to me. Timing matters.

Part one looked just like another boring ending. Part two was awesome.

Thanks, keep writing

Damn good writing but I really don't see this as a follow-up to the original story. Really didn't like Marcy appearing to marry the rich doctor she cheated with and living happily ever after.

Very very ambitious. It was too contrived and preposterous for me, and had very weird "detail priority." Why do we know what they had for breakfast, what kind of clothes they wore, hotels they stayed in, jewelry they bought, how many times they fucked, but we don't know why Marcy, a nurse, didn't bother to take the morning after pill, or just abort the "product of conception?" Marcy plans to get her eyes fucked out, for 6 weeks, then come back to her husband, but doesn't think to get on some sort of contraception?

I will attribute that and similar mistakes of logic and human nature to your lack of experience and enthusiasm for your story. Its cute, like all the smarmy cloying details about Ami in the ship, with the uniform and the made up bed, and I don't know what the fuck else because I skip over all the extraneous pointless details, and there were A LOT.

In fact Marcy and their failed marriage had so little to do with this chapter of the story that it would be more fitting in Romance, or Non-erotic. Not a biggie for me, just pointing out how far your plot and focus drifted away from the original. You could have at least included Marcy's divorce from the asshole doctor after she found him fucking around, some more. Like she had no clue what a piece of dog shit Trey is. Guess he smelled familiar to her.

Again, it was a large challenge. Thanks for the effort.

Nice sequel. One little nit.

"He had a fake driver's license, and would say a word."

Needs to be

"He had a fake driver's license, and would not say a word."

Please do not omit the negative contraction as in "wouldn't" or else it will be positive.

Liked it, good 2nd story, big improvement on your first. Should have tagged it non-erotic and completed left out the Kalimaxos bullshit...... Keep writing!

jamesapple, I just added you on my list of authors to read whenever you post anything. BTW, I have read 364 Loving Wives authors and all their stories.

However, the list of authors I go out of my way to read immediately is quiet short.

Thank you for a great story.

I hope your life calms down enough for you to write more.

This felt wildly different from the original, so didn't really work as a sequel.

The much bigger problem was that you gave Marcy a happy ending, rewarding the bitch for shitting on her husband.

Needs an editor. Every male character is called Rick at one time or another....

Awesome story. Well imagined and executed.

Great story, but it very little to do with Mr. Anderson's story. You didn't provide an ending to George's tale, you hijacked it and drove it to an undisclosed location.

As I've said before, I'd got pretty tired of this story, and wished people would let it drop.

Then this came along. A good old fashioned Romance.

Everything was way over the top, but it all fit together perfectly.

This is the only one in the series that has received 5 stars from me.

That was some fine storytelling. Thanks for sharing.

This storyline just got way out of line. This ending of Kali's fine story sucked. Definitely NOT one of the better ones. This one came in from right field, and went downhill from there. Rick became a super soldier, there's a war going on, and now he has child to care for. Hogwash. Did you even read Kali's story?

As in the original, Deidre is spelt wrongly. There are two ways to spell the name correctly. One, the Irish way, Is Deirdre: the other, more commonly Welsh, is Deidre. My wife is Welsh!!

..but how does it relate to Just Once? It’s really a totally independent tale, and didn’t need that first bit. Thanks for writing.

Don’t F*ck with my family! Excellent story, well written! Keep ‘em coming, you have talent!

Great start. I recommend you read the stories of Todd172, especially the ones in the series called “The Shack.” Your styles are very similar. I look forward to more from you.

Jamesapple is an accomplished writer however his lengthy story (though clearly written) is convoluted and rather boring, to me, at least. Overall, great effort . Four stars ⭐️ for this one.

the military component. it was, exceptionally, well written.

to the critics, remember, this is fiction. the writer can take the story where ever he wants. i thought it all could have been possible to have happened , exactly, as written.

please keep writing. you are, very, talented. Beretta84

I would to say I liked this version truth be told there is lot of holes in it. A high ranking military member who has never heard of Omaha ridiculous. Sorry only two stars.

*****I kept thinking this is a great adventure story and after making a comment this morning it hit me the story reminded me of (S7:JIHAD by qhml1 ) Both very entertaining reads!!

Well written and It kept my interest up all the way to the end. A little more exsitement in the story would be nice. Hope you write more.

Loved it. :)

At one point, I nearly exclaimed, out-loud, "there's no crying in erotica!" ala Tom Hanks saying "there's no crying in baseball."

Two separate stories that the author tried to meld into one. The two did not merge easily and the tale was not, for me, satisfying. This could have been two fairly interesting stories. Too bad the author kind of over reached by joining them.

Great story continuation!!! Glad he found love and a baby girl...

I never would have let Marcy and her bastard back in my home...

Why would anyone bother finishing that obvious cuck leading bullshit from Kalimaxos. In the end, authors have to change that obvious wimpy husband character into something else just to make their story interesting.

Well I'll be damned. This went off the rails but I loved it.

Nice to read some thing a bit different.

Wonderful Addition to the storyline! It proves that you should never push a man to the point that he is capable of. I hope Ami has had a chance to visit the Omaha Zoo as it a world class zoo. Thank You!

I like the way you turned the second part of the story. You made it your own this is one edition to the story that never ends did I do like.

The connection between part 1 and part 2 is tenuous at best. I think I would have enjoyed part 2 as a separate story independent of part 1.

When I finished reading the scene where Marcy confronted Rick with her baby, three thoughts jumped out at me.

1-Given the personality profile of Marcy, she would have had an abortion within 24 hrs of realizing she was pregnant.

2-Dr Trey, the predator, would not marry Marcy on a bet. He could afford child support and would be looking for a 20 something piece of eye candy as soon as he arrived back in the states.

3-Colombia has a first rate medical system. The morning after pill is readily available. Both Dr. Trey and Marcy are medical professionals well aware to the risks associated with a broken condum and child birth at Marcy's age especially if she isn't on the BC pill. The any potential problem could be eliminated the following morning.

While the writer is certainly talented and the rest of part 2 an enjoyable read, the climax to Kalimaxos' story missed the mark.

WOW!

Ok. This looks like the author got bored with the original story, and decided to write another one.

I guess we will cal, this, the ADD version.