All Comments on 'Just Once... And Yes, I Mind'

Does anyone else get the feeling that February is being hijacked? Instead of sneaking off for a one night fuck fest with no ending, we get a sneak off for a 6 week fuck fest, with no ending. And then we get this ending, with no ending. Hmmmm . . . . . .

I don't know if February sucks, but there are several writers that do. Its easy to setup a story. It takes wit, imagination, and quite a bit of work to complete the story.

Sorry you weren't up to it. But thanks for the effort.

It was good then, it’s like you got up to get something to eat and forgot to finish it.

Extremely lame

Damn good story but why did he leave any money behind in the States? I look forward to the next chapter. There WILL be a next chapter?

Klimaxos end was “...and Cinderella was racing away in the pumpkin carriage when the clock struck twelve. The End”

This is “...and the Prince knocked on the door of the big house, not knowing who would come to the door. The End.”

And remember, you’ve never heard Cinderella before. Sure, you’ve heard other fairytales, so you’ve got an inkling what might be coming, but there is still a ways to go.

It essence its just as bad as Klimaxos ending... ok, one or two steps closer. Klimaxos story is 70% of a story. This adds 10% more. That still leaves us wanting the other 20%.

Ugh.

BUT... it’s a pretty good 10%, I’ll give it that much. So a weak 4-stars.

Ffs.. one unfinished story to ghe next.

OK great start... now finish it . You have the talent.

Don't want another open ended st II ft

Kalimaxos dropped the ball in not providing an ending so far, you have picked up said ball, ran three yards back and promptly kicked it into the crowd. Well written and engaging, but i dont really see the point.

Fairly good so far... BUT, more half story to annoy and frustrate. I am no writer but I have NEVER left a job half done! I gave it 3 *** because the tag said 'Average' and it is incomplete like the rest of the attempts on this story! The biggest disappointment is that the story was well told and enjoyable up to the point it wasn't!

Three stars for an incomplete story.

Oh how we miss FTDS!!!!

Waste of time - your's and mine. If you couldn't finish, why did you bother?

A good semi-conclusion. Well written. Can you finish it off please?

Er....... you forgot to finish it. Was well written up to that point.

needs to be finished

For a first story by a new author I thought this was well written but I came to the end and ARRRRGGGGHHHHH! I assume he will continue. I do have it on very good authority that even though FTDS is long gone there is another out there who suggested and has confirmed to me that another version has been submitted, should be appearing in a day or two. Thanks, my friend. Signed: BTW

FINISH IT! 2*

Maybe we'll learn Marcy had second thoughts after sending Leslie over and sending Rick her letter, got tired of Dr. Tray after the second day. (Oops, that's my imaginary story.)

Hope your story's conclusion is as well written as your first part.

Was going really well, and then you stopped.

Why leave an unfinished story, unfinished with a "continuation"... while the writing was good - what's the point?

@jamesapple - "I know exactly what is on the other side of the door, and have started to finish the finish" - You had no business posting this until you FINISHED the finish!

Well written story, I look forward to more. Thank you - 4 stars!

somewhere east of Omaha

Intelligent, written well, stayed within the bounds of the original story. The escape to Europe was a bit convenient but okay for a first time writer. Far more experienced writers than you have used similar plot turns. I especially liked the idea that problems, if not dealt with, never go away.

So who was behind the door? The Lady or the Tiger? I am referring to William Blake's immortal short story. He never told, why should you?

R.

Well I hope you finish it, my 0.02c worth if your attempting to finish an unfinished story, then you either need to post it, in its entirety OR state somewhere that chapter two is coming or something.

Otherwise whats the point? in adding to an unfinished story and leaving that which you have added unfinished?

Great so far, please continue

Where is the rest. It was supposed to be the CONCLUSION to story, not another empty end. 2 stars. until it is done.

I first gave it a two, then saw that it's your first post and went to 4. It's a good story, pretty well written, just needs an ending! I look forward to reading more from you.

I don't rate this story though it's a good start of a sequel of the original story.

You got to be kidding me. I admit that I was enchanted by the lady or the tiger the first time around but this chapter did nothing to move the story along.

Continue

Read again. Don't understand why he left her anything but ok, FTDS.

1 - Congratulations on biting the bullet and posting a story, it ain't an easy thing to do. +1* for that.

2 - if it's going to be multiple chapters you have to let people know to avoid frustration. As there is no indication in the body, and especially as it's a FTDS of someone else's 1*

3 - anything less than 5k words can all be collected into a single chapter easily. I've seen good writers get a beginning middle and end into under 1k words...

4 - You can ask for an editor on the forum, but there is no excuse not to use grammerly or hemmingway editors, not perfect and can't replace a good proofread. So no excuse for at least a thorough check with one of these tools.

Thanks for the effort and good luck with future postings.

You have created a chain story which is where this should go unless you are going to finish it which you didn't indicate one way or the other.

You left this story as you picked it up. Why would you do that with a FTDS? It was well written enough and provided an ending albeit a very brief one. But it completely defeated the purpose of FTDS.

****This is something new and different. Two different half azz stories in a row!! But damn they were very entertaining. Thanks for sharing.

As this is your first story you did yourself no favor by submitting an incomplete story. You haven't earned anyone's respect by trying to have a cute ending 1*

The writing was good. Perhaps the story was a little thin for a first effort. You did manage to stay true to the original story in both facts and theme. You should definitely come up with a chapter 2 or epilogue of something.

I agree with the few comments I read I'm sorry you left the story the way you did. You do show promise as a good writer don't let the poor score dissuade you form writing more please.

Good so far, but you can't just stop it here.

You added nothing to the original story and left us hanging. No point in reading your work, it’s unfinished like a child’s chores.

I see this story has mot been posted long.

Please take the time to share with us your continued thoughts.

Just don't let this story take over ypur life?

As far as it goes, good story. Now, don't leave us hanging and complete the confrontation between Rick and Marcy. Don't forget to give Dr. Tray his just due.

1 for this couple of paragraphs, because it did not add hardly anything of value to the original story and it is open ended as well - bad idea.

Come on man

Don’t let the water cool. Your approach has a lot of potential. Aren’t you going to finish it?

James, you've started to "finish the finish," but that was over a month ago! Why do so many writers rush to post stories? Except for events there's no deadline, wait until you're finished before posting.

Nice. Decent sequel. Straight and to the point. A little harsh, maybe? That.s what infidekity and do to do. Wat to go.

I liked it! I'm not one that thinks a story must be complete birth to grave. This is a moment in time and it explains exactly what he is thinking, and where his pain and uncertainty lies. Good job! Thank you.

@Just_Words Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. However, I hate to disappoint you but I've been working on the sequel and it turns out to have taken on a life of its own. It's looking to be about 8 times larger than this. I hope you enjoy the follow-up.

@sbrooks103x Your question has two answers

1) I'm working in finance, helping people impacted economically by COVID, and it's eating my free time (6 days a week).

2) This was the very first thing I've ever published. I wasn't sure it was ever actually going to see the light of day. The second part is coming. As I alluded to just a minute ago, it's taken on a life if its own. All I can ask is that you bear with me.

@jamesapple, I understand things taking on a life of their own, believe me, it's happened to me! But this is only 1600 words, you KNEW you had more to write, why not wait? ESPECIALLY as you were already "finishing" an unfinished story! I see you've posted ch 2 today, that's why I'm back here. As a side note, by waiting you'd be more removed from the glut of follow-ups when people might be more receptive.

***Thanks for the read.

Now it makes sense. The Bear Understands. 5 stars. Now to re-read the second part.

The BEAR

@sbrooks103x

@jamesapple - "I know exactly what is on the other side of the door, and have started to finish the finish" - You had no business posting this until you FINISHED the finish!

sbrooks103x

James, you've started to "finish the finish," but that was over a month ago! Why do so many writers rush to post stories? Except for events there's no deadline, wait until you're finished before posting.

Why do you think that everyone should do things YOUR away? You can do what you want with your stories, so everyone else should have the same choice.

Were you a bully all of your life? If so, I am surprised someone hasn't done the same to you.

Have a great day.

Hell of a way to "end" a story...

HIS FIRST STORY

This is his first story and didn't realize how many assholes and whiners there are that are ready to jump down on anyone that is not doing it THEIR way.

I didn't mind the content of this part, but have a comment that will hopefully be viewed constructively.

Whenever a story is split into parts, there will be some loss of recollection of the first part and if people liked the first part they'll be anxiously looking for the second, at least for a couple of days. Where the delay is short, the parts are long and many readers will find a single part too long to want to read at one sitting, that is an reasonable trade-off. Where the first part is only one page long and the delay between parts is almost eight weeks, nobody is going to be waiting in suspense and it will be the rare reader indeed that even remembers the earlier part.

Ah well...first effort... but even so...too short...and no denouement.. Ie not much here..so a 3 at best

Good job but ended too soon

OK start, but it is not finished, so no star yet.

Good writing, initially. Not quite as good later. When describing a series of events the author used present tense ( i.e. I check into the hotel, I sit on the edge of the bed) rather than using past tense. Why? Also, jamesapple suggested that Rick sought resolution with Marcy, but ended his story without providing one. Kalimaxos started the story, jamesapple didn’t finish it. Three stars ⭐️ for this one.

Promising

This story continues to be told and it needs to end once and for all.

where the fucks the rest?

I like where you went with it, but... I fear you have started a second stream of what-happens-next story challenges! 8^ ).

Was this an in-your-face to Kalimaxos for leaving an incomplete story?

Waste of time

Definitely written well.

Well written, set out well characters are waiting to explode………

And then nothing. Shame you haven’t done the next part. A real shame.

I just seen on your home page that you HAVE written part 2, pity that no link on this page to it, normally there is

1 star - this COULD have been an amazing BTB 5 star, but for some reason he had the brain damage to leave the bitch all the money instead of taking it (yeah the court may have forced to give some back.... when he's back in US and the money is "spent"). Plus, the asshole daughter forcing him to "clear the air" - like it was equally his and her fault.

For your first story, you embrace a tired and poisonous trope: "Real Men Run Away". They either take everything, even things and monies that don't belong to the (because they feel entitled) or nothing. They run away, leaving their cell phones behind so they can't be contacted. They set up forwarding schemes with lawyers to insulate them from communication. Why?

In our culture, we venerate men who stay and fight, even at the cost of their own lives. Soldiers, Real Men, win the Medal of Honor, often posthumously, because they stayed and fought.

But here, in Loving Wives, the "Real Men" celebrate the cowards, the men who won't or can't face their own wives, and run away. Why?

I believe the entire point of running away is to make a statement that <i>cannot be replied to</i>. This is why little boys run away from mommy. They know mommy always gets the last word, that all of their anger and child logic won't help them when arguing with mom. So they run away, thinking <b>"She'll be sorry!"</b>.

I think it's really tragic that the runaway-type-of-guys have taken over this site. Stories that show men compromising, negotiating (in good faith), or even "taking one for the team" to save their families are dumped on, excoriated, and the authors personally attacked by the Real Men Who Run Away.

And one of the worst things is that these poor, miserable fools can't even see the irony.

Open the door and tell her to fuck off.

don't bother to answer the door

Leaving all the money there, not even taking his half, seemed pretty stupid. Since it was apparent she didn't give a shit about the marriage, what if she had simply decided to take more than half, or even all of it? And no bringing suit against MSF also seemed pretty lame; at the very least, it would have likely prevented the wife and her lover to ever work for them again.

Uselees. Needs an ending, period. Why write 1/2 a story?

This sucked. No ending don't make sense Where's her letter?