All Comments on 'Just Once... And Yes, I Mind'

Great take, but ended too soon. You need to continue the story - please!

So do we have to have another invitational for people to FTDS for this story, which is already a FTDS for kalimaxos's story?

So you finish an unfinished story with an unfinished story? Writing was good but really?

IS There More? A part 2? At least the original author disclosed what he was doing... courtesy to the reader is always appreciated. Thus the 2 rating.

good for now.

Too bad you haven't detailed a little more about his life in Europe for 1 year.

how does he live his divorce? did he meet anyone?

Now we need the confrontation and the closure.

Piss poor attempt at writing, where the fuck is the rest of it? Lazy ass writing.

More like a chain letter.

Appreciated the effort, but it leaves me a bit frustrated.

~Enkidu

one third of a story deserves one third of a score

I was disappointed in you having the same ending as Kalimaxos, because I assumed you would take up his offer to add an ending to it, finishing the story. You didn't follow through with his expectations, left the ending with no ending, left it up in the air so I was disappointed. I enjoyed your excellent writing, but not your devious joke. Sorry you posted this and wasted my time.

There is no story here as of yet

was there a point to this? and unfinshed stupid ending to another unfinished ending?

I would appreciate you guys doing endings to my story include a link to my original.

If you are not familiar with HTML code then just copy-paste the URL of my story to your headers. Thanks

unvollendeter Mist

1 star

No Ending is stupid.

Great. Two unfinished stories. Don't waste our time.

Sorry it is undone

You area worse than Kalimaxos for incomplete writing. You lied by stating that this was another end to his story & then turn around and do a reakky incomplete job of writing an ending. PUTRID ! ! !

where is the rest of it?

It looks like the last half of the story is missing.... FTDS!

What do you think of this story?

Er... what story?

An unfinished ending to an unfinished story?

Douchebaggery thy name is thee

Nice but needs an ending

4*

This isn't an ending either.

Was an OK story. I gave it a 1* because the story was incomplete just like the Kalimaxos original story.

Not a bad first story BUT if this isn't Chapter 1 we've gone from one unfinished story to another unfinished story. If this is Chapter 1 you should have said so in the title.

Really? Another unfinished story? 1*

Unfinished story for an unfinished story. Could be a good ending if it was taken to completion.

Very well done. Rick's response was right on, and it moved the story further on down the road while maintaining the suspense. 5 stars.

Incomplete.

Too short, all you did wad set it up

Quite good as far as it goes.......do we get a part 2?

Nicely done. Great first effort.

As bad as the first one - you need to complete the thing

YOU ARE INSAIN!!!!!

He tells you to end the story, and what do you do???

Even a moron wouldn't consider this "taking on story invitation".

Don't take me wrong, story is OK (what is here) that is!

Good first story. I hope you keep writing.

Pretty incomplete for an ending

I’m kind of in the camp that Kalamazoo should have finished this one. His character from his head and all. I understand when someone wants to do an alternate ending, and the George Anderson thing rings true with that. I also am a believer that once you resolve the issues and tensions you introduce, the story is done and a sequel is only worth the effort if your characters and setting have generated other issues or story lines to resolve.

Your story is well constructed and your plot line is solid. But the issue providing the tension isn’t his return, it’s what happened to his family after he went to Europe. That’s completely unresolved. So when we are asking for more, we aren’t asking for a sequel or a change of heart. Please write an ending!

A little lacking

Is that it - hardly worth putting pen to paper, very poor

because no statement that it was a part 1 of who knows how many or worse yet you leave it like this I have to drop a few stars.

I think you show talent so I am hoping a part 2 comes quickly.

To everyone that has commented about the length of the story, tbh I wasn't sure about posting it in the first place. I had seen a lot of REALLY good writers out there - hell, I didn't even have an editor look at it. That being said, I know exactly what is on the other side of the door, and have started to finish the finish of the "finish the damn story". Bear with me. First published story of my life, you didn't think I was going to stop there...

It's silly to write a follow up and not end it. I don't see the point.

Well written, especially for a 1st submission to LW.

But it ended where the main part of the story should begin - with the confrontation. The story is unfinished and does not deserve full marks. Or do you plan a 2nd chapter?

The wife is a cruel cheater - that is clear and was already clear from Kalimaxos' story. But the husband went well overboard with his actions and even admits this. So there is a lot of stuff for a confrontation and for some input from the children who are part of the equation.

Decent start. But that's all it is. I'll hold off on rating it until I see if there's a second part.

Awesome first submission!

He did what he needed to do....and her relative non reaction to the divorce pretty much validated that decision.

And you even left us hanging! Nice touch!

4 very strong ****!!!

Just a ton of rubbish...

Perfect! What's good for the goose is good for the goose.

I have to disagree with all these comments about this author not finishing the original story. This story describes in detail the husband‘s response to his wife’s infidelity. He ends of the marriage. He leaves the country. He is moving on with his life. The only loose end is how well he and his now former wife are able to do in getting along at his daughter’s wedding. The husband seems to have moved on decisively and without regret, so this author has left no reason to expect any sort of reconciliation of the marriage. It’s over.

Ugh.

So, to finish a story you leave it even more unfinished? How did that make sense in your head? I don't expect all loose ends to be tied in a nice pretty bow, but this picked up a cliffhanger and then left it hanging over another cliff.

And .....

AND????!!!! Kal wimps out and you pretend to end the story? Wish FTDS was still around to show you how it is done.

It's not a story yet, so I cannot score it

Nice start, and?

Now, finish it.

Well written but no finish

Not a conclusion but a continuation. What's your ending?

An unfinished continuation of an unfinished story was not a good idea.

Oh eh, I get it...

You wrote an unfinished story to be a sequel of an also unfinished story.

I dislike this because you didn't finish it. But it was different, I give you that.

But expect your rating going down.

jamesapple

First things first, congratulations on your first story, they are always the hardest.

Am I to assume (bad word) that the idea was to leave the reader in suspense? Had you maybe said if the divorce went through? You said he filed but not that it finished. Did their accounts get split or are the both still on them?You said that the money was going into a healthy account.

Did Dr. Tray get fired, lose his license? Again you left that hanging. Was this going to be more than one chapter? You should always state that from the start (been there done that, have the scars to prove it).

Good luck with your next adventure, I am giving you a five, not for the story , but for wading into the waters.

3* is being generous, not because you are a bad writer, but to write you must be invested in your readers, this partial attempt started fine, but to not even reasonably give it some kind of conclusion is inexcusable. I hope you learn and keep on writing, you skill is obvious, but your judgement needs to be worked on.

Fuck Me, So It Seems

That it Is up to Saddletramp1956 to complete this in a satisfactory way, please. SignedBTW

Oops! The ending fell off!

Dude, you had something decent going until you fucked it up at the end. You didnt end this either, ffs!

I'm not finishing your writing for you. Kalimaxos invited endings, this is not an ending. If you want others to finish your work, ask. Do not assume.

It covered about all of the things I thought should happen. I liked that you told Leslie to get out. I'm glad you gave a copy of Marcy's letter to Kyle and Rhonda.

I agree with others that you should have finished your story. Five for the the good writing, minus five for Schrodinger's Cat. So no score from me. That's shame.

Really?

If you take on a story to complete, do so!!!!!

i

Lol that's nice the good warrior has to take from here now and finish your story. Ela kalimaxe your turn again. Liked your contribution well written and enjoyable.

Freakpower

Well, now I know not to read anything of jimmy apple cuz he don't finish what he starts.

Doing fine so far. Decent writing. Better than most. Keep going.

yeah not too bad to start but really feels like i read a prologue in a book which is usually 2 pages. if there is no follow up and if your point is to let ppl come to their own conclusion then u should stop writing.

You can't leave us in the middle of the action! Where is the main part of the story?

It’s a decent attempt, but you can’t end a cliffhanger without a real ending. Cliffhanger on top of a cliffhanger is a sad description of lousy TV. I’m not saying you copped out. I think you mad a bad decision with your closing paragraph. You should have followed it through.

That said, scoring a 1, or commenting that you won’t vote, is a cop out.

An incomplete completion of an incomplete story? Why? What has the reader gained from this?

Yeah, took a lesson from the original writer and dropped the ball also.

Yeah well thanks for nothing.

I think it was well written.

Would be be nice to read about what happens when he opens the door.

Be safe

Mark

Interesting start, but massively unfinished. One star.

She knows she's going to be cheating, but still gives her husband a Power of Attorney?

/

Fluent in a few languages doesn't narrow things too much!

/

Why do his kids have to use email if his attorney has his new number?

/

Please learn the difference between "discrete" and "discreet." I know it's not just you, it seems like at least half the writers here don't know the difference!

/

"she wants her mother and I to clear the air so there are no issues at the wedding." - You don't have to "clear the air" to have no issues, you just have to be adults.

/

You write an ending to an unfinished story, then don't finish it?!

/

If you know what's on the other side of the door, then you should have written it! I mean, you only wrote 1600 words, it's not like you got tired of writing!

Boo! So what happens next

You left us high and dry, you did not finish the story, another Kalimaxos!

You made a great start got all of your ducks in a row and then just stepped out.

Please finish the story you started, another chapter is needed

3/5 for effort

BTW congrats on your first story.

He sold the house and her car and put her personal crap in storage while leaving his lawyer in charge of the divorce while he lived the rest of his life in Europe. The End. See? I ended that story in 33 words and it was just as gratifying as yours.

1 for your ending of rather lack of .

Write your own story!!!!

Finish the story.

Got dictionary handy? Good. If you could look up the word, "ending" that would great. This was not that. This was chapter two. FTDS.

DOESN'T ANYONE FINISH THE DAMN STORY?!?

only 2/5 because you didn't follow the simple instruction to FINISH the story. it was a good start and if you complete i'll reconsider my score

FTDS

You stupid shit!

Gave it a low score, finishing an unfinished story with another one is crappy writing. If you planned another chapter then let people know.

One star! We already had an incomplete story!

Was great until it just stopped. Keep it going and you get a good score.

This is a continuation? Bad as the original.

It sucked. Should have just left it alone.

It wasn't a story. It was merely a start. Jamesapple certainly looks like he/she could be a good writer but this is NOT a story.

Good so far, but I have to agree with the other comments- not finished. Needs a meet with his ex and resolution. Note! RESOLUTION not reconciliation. He dumped the bitch, just as he should have done.

Yep, had a good thing going then what, oh shit, I don't know how to end this. Unforgivable amateur mistake! Maybe a real writer will finish this train wreck of a story someday. I miss FTDS!

You’re a dick. Plain and simple.