All Comments on 'Just Once - Like It or Not'

'She looked at me mischievously, "I'd really like to smoke a joint actually. It helps me think." She went into her bra and pulled one out. "Do you mind?"

"Not at all, I could use a little relaxer." We smoked, drank, and talked for hours.' -- Uh! NO! Rick didn't do that. In his business with any government contracts and security clearances to maintain. He would be a fool to risk a random "...just step into this bathroom and fill this cup for us..." session.

The first page was good. The second page was just plain silly. Doing Leslie after not doing her for the six weeks on a balcony with someone watching is rediculous. Then telling Diedre that he loves Leslie and wants to continue to pork her and Diedre is fine with that? No freaking way.

If the MC divorced wife for infidelity, then why does he think he should do multiple women? Sounds hypocritical. Gave the story a generous three stars, but dreading giving it that many stars.

Poorly conceived ending. Unnecessary.

Fair. Considering his morals, I think that once he began the relationship with Diedre, he would end the sexual relationship with Leslie. I'm very surprised that he was that nice & pleasant to Marcy considering what she did. He didn't need to go scorched earth, but I think it would take at least a few years to be pleasant to her. The timing of the lawsuits and the divorce are rather critical. I think Marci needs some serious therapy to figure out why she did what she did, and so she doesn't repeat it. Also, what is going to happen when her nice guy finds out about what caused her marriage to die? I think this is reasonably close to what really would happen, but although I think Marci's looks will attract me, the good ones won't stay around once they find out she cheated. I think she is going to have regrets for the rest of her life, and she royally deserves them.

This is probably the most insipid add on of all of them. Congratulations! How you managed to utterly ignore ALL of the salient features of the original story in your tale is simply dumbfounding. In addition you managed to discard all the incredible angst of the original also. The remaining pathos free mess must be judged independently. As such it simply has little merit. It makes little sense.

1 star

This story sucked ass.

He still loved her? After she ran off for a six-week holiday fuck fest with the doctor she'd been having an affair with?

After that kind of betrayal, only a cuck would want to have anything to do with that sleazy slut.

Bad. I hate stories where the husband is turned either into a weakling or a Saint.

Here, it looks like a mix of the 2.

Marsh mellow man

Too silly for words

Scores 1/5

Rick, the way you painted him, had been a senior military man. Yet he was weak and pathetic in his decision making. Trying to accept full blame for what Marcy had done. Not initially telling his children. How was it that he only discovers that his slut wife had cheated with his brother, only when his daughter blurts it out?

Then he lets Marcy off the hook regarding her cheating BEFORE she goes away. Just bleats out again that it was his fault! Jeez, grow a backbone.

So, his slut wife "lives" with her doctor AP for 6 weeks, getting fucked and sucked daily, but Rick still says it was his fault she cheated. Then the stupid, ridiculous ending with Rick getting his old "flame" plus Leslie on the side. FFS. Mills and Boon stuff. A fairy tale. So now he still loves his Ex, also loves Leslie and loves Diane. "Be still, my beating heart". I think I'm going to vomit.

Rick, the way you painted him, had been a senior military man. Yet he was weak and pathetic in his decision making. Trying to accept full blame for what Marcy had done. Not initially telling his children. How was it that he only discovers that his slut wife had cheated with his brother, only when his daughter blurts it out?

Then he lets Marcy off the hook regarding her cheating BEFORE she goes away. Just bleats out again that it was his fault! Jeez, grow a backbone.

So, his slut wife "lives" with her doctor AP for 6 weeks, getting fucked and sucked daily, but Rick still says it was his fault she cheated. Then the stupid, ridiculous ending with Rick getting his old "flame" plus Leslie on the side. FFS. Mills and Boon stuff. A fairy tale. So now he still loves his Ex, also loves Leslie and loves Diane. "Be still, my beating heart". I think I'm going to vomit.

One of the most stupid of the sequels

One of the best ones. 4*

Three stars. BTW you should settle in a spelling for Deidre. You used three different ones

Sorry, but asking Dee to let him have sex with another woman, doesn't make him a good guy, regardless of whatever lifestyle the other couple wants. It makes him selfish and just as bad as his slut wife. What happens to Dee when the next woman comes along "needing" sex? No thanks.

Pretty dumb.

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No…scratch that. EXCEEDINGLY dumb.

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1 *

Really bad

One of the worst alternatives of all time.

Why would Leslie go inside her bra instead of reaching inside; she "went" in her bra? I've heard of "pulling" a drink from a beer bottle, but a wine glass? And what is a "handle" of Scotch? And "antemortem" is a termed used in autopsies or medical reports to describe if an injury happened before or after death. Guess you couldn't resist using it after you found it in whatever language translation dictionary you use?

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And you gloss over or just give us a one line summary of conversations, decisions, and analyses of his marriage problems, but you need to tell us: "She took a sip of wine that she loudly swallowed due to her tense muscles." Seriously? Your view of major versus minor details is bizarre. And your understanding of normal human behavior is extraterrestrial. So he can't fuck Leslie with Marcy's encouragement for six weeks because that would be cheating on Marcy, but he reserves the right to fuck Leslie, and maybe others, if he gets married to Deidre? What The Fuck?

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You need so much help in so many areas of writing and understanding normal western culture and behavior that maybe you should just write in your native language for your own culture. Best I can do; thanks for the effort.

One of the best endings to the original "Just Once" story. Seems it will be an ongoing saga from multiple authors to try to put their thoughts to make a complete story.

Dumb. Unnecessary.

This didn’t work for me. One example: Marcy tells their kids to drop everything and rush over to their dad, but she takes about an hour and a half to get there (long enough for the kids to watch an hour-long intelligence training video on detecting lies)? Another: Marcy checked into the hotel and showered, went to their house (did she check out of the hotel?), and then showered again immediately on arrival before her supposedly urgent talk with her husband? Too much in this story didn’t make sense.

“I AM A FRAGILE PERSON AND I NEED LOTS OF SUPPORT JUST LIKE YOUR EX.”

Time to run for your EFFIN life!

This story is another great example of why you shouldn’t write stories while stoned. I gave it 3* because despite the absurdity of its premise, it was well constructed. Except for all the showers Marcy took, anyway.

Diction, motivations, actions....all too often make no sense. The characters are vulgar and bizarre.

The husband deserved everything he got. What a pussy! His slut fucks him over and the cuck is there every step of the way to kiss her ass and bail her out of trouble. He turned out being as bad as the whore.

Meh...

Very good story and well written.

"unless they thought I was to blame, which I am." - No he's not.

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"Kyle and Rhonda had no idea why I had become so emotional and I didn't tell them." - Why not warn them of the dangers of long deployments, so that they can be prepared?

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"I'll just blow his socks off" - Yeah, I'm sure he'll just LOVE sloppy fiftieths!

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"All that was left was an antemortem" - Shouldn't that be postmortem?

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"What the fuck, is this an interrogation? This isn't fair." - She's the one that wanted the kids there.

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"I do still love you just as much as ever." - LOL, we see this so often. She loves him just as much as when she was able to cheat on him.

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He goes from being pissed off at Marcy to being a man whore himself.

A solid offering. Nicely done. However, I personally feel that Rick’s sex with Leslie, after getting together with Deidre was inconsistent with the characterization. Excluding the 15 minutes of oral with Deidre, under extreme duress, Rick remained monogamous. Telling Deidre that he’d continue having sex with Leslie, IMO, doesn’t fit.

Please stop with the awful endings for what had been a great story. Kalaxmos should remind his offer for other "writers" to butcher his story.

Probably the worst of the lot

Just one LW Trope joined to another

Appreciate the effort but too many unrealistic plot gaps to say anything other than UGH. 3*

Your characters,

were nothing like the original.

that was a messed up story

It was pretty good until after the divorce. Going from a faithful dog to having a side piece is just a failed effort at being different.

It was a good try, coming from a very different angle than others I have read, but like so many other stories, it seemed that as you got close to the end of what you had in your mind for the story, the pace just went to hyperspeed, and it finished very quickly, with some - to me - serious questions unanswered.

First would be what Deirdre actually told Marcy, another is what happened to the extra times she spent at the Red Roof Inn while the construction was going on and he was abroad.

All that being said, I really think this was a creative and unusual approach, so I gave it a "4" for the creativity.

How the HELL is this scoring in the mid-3’s??

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1 *

There is a character named Deidre in this story. But who is this Diane that other commenters are talking about?

Stupid

just humiliated the MC from the original story. This is bad writing.

Wow, you managed to write a sequel without a single likeable character. Probably the worst one yet. You would be better served writing your own stories rather that try to resurrect an unforgivable slut.

Really a stupid version of the original. Did you not realize he was a senior intelligence officer, not a shavetail riding coat tails. Not the way a military man would handle the situation. More like a cuckold would handle it.

The guy was way, way too weak. D

That really was quite appalling.

Three of five on the quality of writing only. Story line sucked

OK, but not in top 10.

Rather muddled.

While somewhat enjoyed the first part of this story, it all fell apart. In the original, Rhonda (I believe) is out of country in the Navy. If the author wants to change this picture, at least have an explanation (back on leave, change of place of serving, etc.); as is reads, knowing the the story, it's wrong. And Rhonda couldn't be with her brother to stop Rick. Neither could her brother, who's supposedly away at college. Again, it would be better with explanations.

---> Rick's relationship with Leslie was novel approach. However, him needing her to talk to him during the 6wks Marcy's away makes the strong intelligence Army man somewhat weak. While I liked the confrontation with Marcy, his later telling Dihedra that he's still having some sort of sexual relationship with Leslie & being with his ex as needed is absurd; her saying she'd be happy with him 50% of the time makes her likewise weak. Bends the ability to believe either one would act like that &/or accept it.

----> That Marcy cheated on her marriage with Dr Trey those 6 weeks, it's incomprehensible that Rick would apologize for the oral sex after almost being blown apart. The 2 acts aren't even close. Neither did Rick talk about anything that was written in Marcy's letter. All of this spoils this story, & I can only give this, as written, 2 stars. The story is - overall - unbelievable. Bob

Not good. Two stars.

The set up for the confrontation washes this out for me.

She was gone 6 weeks, yet he is just leaving the house after her flight lands? He manage to organize a timely divorce serving at the hotel but can't manage to leave the house?

Then both kids are magically 10 to 20 minutes away and available to stop him from leaving the house?

That pretty much soured me on the rest.

Of all the any attempts to complete this incredibly successful story challenge, IMHO this us uttered as one of the best and more realistic. Well done Sir. Ken

Other than them getting divorced, the rest of the story was so bad. It was a stupid story.

You actually found a way for Rick to f*ck Leslie! That's a step up by Literotica standards.

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However, having a retired colonel who still maintains his security clearance smoke pot is a major step down. That's a drastic unforced error.

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No real opinion on the convoluted resolution with multiple women. I can see the commanding officer taking responsibility for the rifts in his marriage; or I can see him putting all the onus she deserves on her.

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I think you're also the only author lately to remember how nonchalantly Marcy treated Rick prior to her leaving. I agree with Rick in this tale that she had NO real concern about keeping her marriage intact upon her return. It was as though staying married was her third and worst option.

I too thought your ending was one of the best endings.

Sorry, but you drew a protagonist who has very little in common with the original character. A former secret service colonel acting weak and unclear? You have no idea about the military! And then you let him smoke weed, I'm laughing my ass off. No, that was no great deed!

Shite 1* telling Deirde he will only get with her if she allows him to be a cheating cunt is fucking pathetic writing tbh

This story thread along with February Sucks are probably two of the worst stories available on this site to add alternatives to.

Finding other creative ways of describing a pile of shit is still just describing a pile of shit.

Nice try, but it doesn’t work for me. Pretty ridiculous story line, really. Three stars ⭐️ for this one.

Worthless to comment

so the whore fucked his brother and he still loves her? emotional cucks get one star

A little different slant. I would say it's average but since it sounds like you at least know a little about the capital region of NY I felt generous and gave you an extra star even thou it was only a 3-star story based on a 4-star story. It might have worked better if instead of trying to take up were one author ended and write your ending just take the premise of the story and re-write it, so it flows from stary to finish. Just be sure to give the original author credit.

This version of the story was different enough to make it fairly interesting reading. Thanks for your writing.

Worthless man-hating effort. "Oh I still love her despite her never having really loved me and cheated on me twice, once in an awful way and lying to me constantly". BS. The guy needs severe therapy.

Hard to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. Doomed from the start.

Nice story.... too nice for my taste... I would have been much harder on Marcy...

Yeah, his new woman is OK with him banging a married 25 year old…….and I’m The Batman. R.H.

Idiocy!

Hey Deirdre, I want you , but I want you to know that I’ll also be keeping a mistress for hot sex and heart-felt healing talks. By the by, I was sorry to learn of your PTSD.

Yeah, that would go over well; if your intent is to have two pen pals in different mental institutions.

First, Marcy cheats when he's in Korea. Then before her trip to S America & during that time. She severely hurts him via the letter & her actions pre-trip. So she's surprised that Rick wants to divorce her? She's using a life threatening experience, where there's only oral sex, as grounds for what she did?

---> Then there's Deirdre, who loves him, but I can't believe she'd sit still for him having sex with Leslie. She'd make him chose- if she's kind. Being supportive for Marcy is one thing, but a full blown out relationship with Leslie is something else. Speaking of Deirdre, he's actually asking her to accept that proposition? I think he's a bit loco also.

---> I'm not sure how I felt about Rick's return at first to Marcy after she got word of Trey's rating. Part agrees, that while he still has some feelings for Marcy, his hatred for the scumbag allowed him to do what he did. Then there's the other side, which states that Marcy made her decision & dug her "grave", so she's to live with the consequences.

---> In the end, a sad story with some losers, but more importantly, not fully believable. Despite the decent writing, the rest forces me to rate this 2 stars. While it's fiction, it should still have some sort of "real" action; this had little. Bob

What a pathetic wimp you have made Rick. You have made him to weak and pathetic to be able to work for his marriage. There are so many pathetic commenters who are wimps like Rick and run away from the hard work of making a marriage worthwhile. It seems to be an American thing to be frightened andnot fighting for something worthwhile

This one was OK, but really not that great. It seemed as if Rick mellowed out, and lost his balls when his wife left for her 6 week job out of the country (her personal 6 week fuckfest). I prefer the original version myself.

There isn't a naval base in Saratoga Springs.

Started out reasonably well, but after Marcy got back it descended rather quickly into an incoherent and inconsistent mess.

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2 **

Average, just average.

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Finally Leslie gets to close the deal! That alone made this a worthy ending to the story. 5 stars

What can I say beyond what most of the anonymous users 7 months ago said... meh...

Another entitled bitch wanting all the cocks she could get, and pissed on her husband, and her kids. Just because she has a pussy, and knows how to use it.

Why and what gives women the right to abuse the system, family, husband, and anyone else that gets in her way?

Write your own stories. These cuck lives happily after, in the absence of any revenge at all, are terrible.

Some sick shit

5 for originality

A delightful and amusing version plus what Chimo1961 said. Certainly five stars plus

Yeah, not a bad ending, seemed a bit over the top the way you wrapped it up, him being everything to everyone, but not bad.

You depicted a career military officer as a weak chump. Shame on you. Then you went off on a totally unrealistic direction with the rest of the story. Two stars ⭐️.