All Comments on 'Just Once... My Ending'

Until Marcy's text, the story was reading such that I was pretty sure that Rick would soon be apologizing to her. You know, apologize about the lack of communication and forcing her to do all this to get his attention. I've read that before in LW.

You wrote this: Leslie quietly slinked off into the evening's darkness disappointed she would not immediately as her lover within the confines of her open marriage with her husband Vince.

What was it you were trying to convey?

Also "Fool Hearty" is one word and spelled Foolhardy

Stupid

A very poor alternative ending that just washes out. You have talent in spinning a story and should have used it here. Keep at it!

a silly story

One of the weaker ends of this situation.

Of course there is a lack of communication in this old couple, but you leave aside the establishment, the premeditation, the betrayal, the trust, the denial of responsibility .......

How a guy trained and brought up by the military system or certain moral codes (loyalty, loyalty, trust, ........) are anchored in them, can be able to override that.

In your story, you almost make Marcy pass for the nice woman, having the courage of her ideas and convictions.

She's got no more balls from Rick.

Good but didn't like the ending. Nothing about her cheating when he was in the army. She was just an entitled bitch. Who in their right mind would accept what she did? When did he ever bully her before? If she had communicated with him and talked about how she felt they might have survived. I would like to have heard that she slutted around and after getting some nasty diseases became a sad old cat lady with her kids ignoring her.

I like it that the BTB wasn't over the top, that it was very realistic and it was really Marcy who truly made reconciliation impossible. The author was consistent with portraying Marcie like the Kalimaxos story but added a twist -- being a headstrong woman plus being narcissistic makes Marcy think she didn't do anything wrong and blames all the trouble to Rick's inability to accommodate her. That truly will be her downfall as she's approaching middle age no man in his right mind would go for that kind of woman.

Interesting take

One of the poorer endings. The only new ground broken here was Marcella’s reaction that her husband was a “control freak.”

Nurses don’t really worry about their ‘reputations’ because they screwed around, because almost all of them do. Unless a nurse is fat, old or ugly, she’s going to get hit on, and it isn’t just the nurses: nursing assistants, respiratory techs, pharmacy techs, phlebotomists, transport aides, doctors, ward clerks, really everybody except the housekeeping staff, all get hit on. The hospital administrators in this story? They’ve screwed a few chicks on their way up the ladder, too.

I’m just an average guy, but I never had so much pussy available to me as when I worked in a hospital. I fucked two RNs, two NAs, three ward clerks, a pharmacy tech, and could have fucked more. Three of the girls I fucked there made the first move on me. One of the NAs was married.

Single nurses throw parties. Get invited to one of these parties and if you go home alone, it’s your fault.

The point of all of that? Nurses and other hospital people don’t worry much about their reputations because everybody is fucking around!

A very good start, but the last page fell short. You need to develop the conclusion to find out why she did what she did.

Keep on writing.

It was a logical way for this story to end. Really wasn't a need to provide details on the events once the wives arrived back.

So he wanted to work on saving the marriage? Geez, she is the one that has the balls in the family.

Ugh.

Realistic.

1. Story sounds like it was told by just the facts Joe Friday. Read it back like you were telling the story to a friend and see if it sounds natural.

2. If you are going to write about wimpy men, you will get better scores in another category.

3. A man who was up for general reacted like a wimp?

"I had heard that a spouse could bring a civil tort case against the company whose employee had started an affair with any of the people who worked under him." - Actually, no he can't. SHE can file a sexual harassment case.

/

LOL, HE ruined her career and made her a laughing stock?

/

"Why didn't I try to understand the helpless feelings she harbored through all these years when she was acting as both parents to our children in my absence as well as working a demanding job and managing all of the house hold tasks." -Maybe because you didn't know about them?

/

Too much narration, and after having the story told by Rick in 1st person, it suddenly switches to 3rd person.

God I am on Marcy's side. He was NEVER in love with her, she was just the pussy he could come back to every couple of years or so. Fuck him. Look I appreciate the men in uniform who protect us, but guys, please don't get married. I have known MANY service men and I can not recall one who has not had at least one divorce. It is not a life for a married man.

I really can't picture any man, especially former military, working for reconciliation after that.

It feels too mechanical for a sequel that has already been attempted by several others. When throwing your hat into a crowded ring, it's usually a good idea to try a unique approach instead of ticking off all the usual boxes. The ending felt like it was trying to be reflective, but mostly came across deflated instead.

Why would he want to save the marriage?

Marcy(da bitch) deserved a BTB treatment

or a minimum of retribution.

That did not happen, leaving me

unsatisfied with this ending.

3*

officers do not enlist in the Army, Navy etc. Mercy is a fool. Not a good ending.

The sad fact is is that a neurosurgeon is like a supermodel: if tossed out of one relationship, there is another waiting in the wings.

Dr Trey will be a highly praised member of another hospital saving the lives of his patients and garnering accolades and big money. And nurses whose heads will be turned by that will still flock to become Mrs. Dr. Trey.

I very much did like that Macy had her own opinions. Too often writers have discovered wife falling at hubby’s feet and washing them with her tears and drying them with her hair.

Not likely. They got to a bad place for a reason.

A bit jerky, several misspellings but not bad

While the writing was a bit stilted and dry, the actual plot direction was realistic.

Good effort. One of the better ones for the ending K asked for.

4 strong ****

Are you kidding me?! This man is completely disrespected by his wife. He takes action to try to save a 24 year marriage. And because he did so, she thinks she's in the right and has grounds for a divorce?! Unbelievable.

A woman that cared about her marriage would have behaved as Penny did. Not taken Marcy's route. She should have been grateful he was even willing to try after her major betrayal. And then refusing to speak to him ever again except about the children? Ridiculous!

The way she was written in this story shows she did not love her husband. Maybe she never did. Because the letter was cruel and callous in and of itself. Let alone her continued behavior afterwards and complete lack of remorse. He's better off without her.

"I had so many more questions I wanted to ask Marcy but now it was too late and all I could do was fret about where our damaged marriage was heading."

Why do authors here continue to write grossly betrayed husbands as weak, needy, cuckish cunts? Under the circumstances set for in the original,there is NOTHING that would result in a reconciliation by an even remotely normal man. The reaction by the wife was further evidence that she had no respect for her husband nor serious concern for her marriage. Josh also seems to be written gratuitously as a weak, needy, cunt of a man. Given how the "rough, tough" army guy was written, Marcy wanted a real man. Who the fuck knows because the character development between the original and this version is all over the place.

As for the phone conversation and letter not being admissible, avoid legal comments unless you know what the the hell you are writing about. IN EVERY fucking state the would be admissible to impeach any denial by Marcy of what she was up to. In some states the letter could come in on direct.

Josh asked me if I intended to divorce Marcy no matter what the outcome of these unfortunate events. I told him no, that after 24 years I needed admit I was a cuck

This was all Josh could take and he broke down crying and confessed that he too was a cuck

.

.

.

Fixed it for you

Ordinarily I'd give you one star for lying to your audience about refusing to use the cuck tag, and he WAS a cuck, she left him, he never left her, and despite it all he was still trying to take her back

But I had to give you one star first for the idea that the Army would allow an officer retired out after 20+ years to enlist as a 45+ year old private

Damn realistic!!! VERY realistic. Especially realistic was the slow grind of the bureaucratic BS, where nobody can made a decision about anything without infinite deliberation. I think this writer knows of what he writes! The resolution was also very typical of how lives founder upon the shoals of hubris and anger.

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VERY well done!!!! Keep writing!!!

Kinda lame. Similar bad ending like most of the endings so far. Meh.

It set off very well indeed. The plan seemed to have merit but after that there were no twists or surprises. It just trudged to it's obvious conclusion.

This one was weak. And ended when he stated that he still loved her. WTF! She has been a cheating heartless Cunt for years and he knows it. What a loser.

Not one of my favorite sequels to this story. You had the cheating bitch Marcy put all the blame for her actions on him. Her loss of job and reputation was entirely due to her actions with the asshole doctor. This one was too far out in left field for me. Good writing for a first story, but not a good effort on the story.

You have written a very different ending to this story that gives every reader pause to reconsider the eventual outcome that was forecast from the original writer. Keep up your thoughtful writing. You may have reached a lot od skeptics.

All the other endings go for revenge. I thought getting the hospital to bring Marcy and Penny back ahead of schedule was a great move on Rick's part. His attempt to see if they could resolve Marcy's actions somehow seemed like the right thing to do, instead of going for her throat. There was no indication that Rick would reconcile, he simply thought he needed to confront Marcy before making his decision.

Marcy's angry reaction to having her free pass revoked was consistent with her character depicted in the original story.

kind of an abrupt ending. the story should have played out a bit more with the inevitable clashes rather than a weak epilogue. good story but waaayyyyyy tooo short and missed so much

Glad you made him a fly boy instead of ground pounder.

What a wimp

Well for starters at no point did it appear her attitude towards her marriage was one of a`married woman.....the whole bully thing was rather lame.

Secondly I've been married 25 years this year and I would kill anyone that tried to harm my wife, that said, at no point would my mind EVER say this in Ricks place "This is the first time I thought of divorce because even after dealing with all this crap, I knew I still loved her and wanted her in my life."

No man would. Maybe a one night stand for most people would be something they could work beyond but 6 weeks and a set up with another woman? Nope, no way.

I enjoyed this story as well, but it was far too civilised. Needed the adult kids to hate her as well. That is where her punishment lies, the loss of kids respect forever for being a selfish homewrecker. No forgiveness, just hate and never ending Coventry.

Scores 3/5 for being just a tad weak.

Congrats on your first story.

But as story this was good enough, keep writing but get tougher, fans like it.

Scores 3/5

Not particularly good storyline/ending to Kallimaxos “Just Once” open ended story - predictably uninteresting and non-erotic. That said, this author is not entirely responsible for a mediocre story because the original left little room for interesting outcomes. It, too, was predictably uninteresting and lacked any erotica, which is somewhat surprising because Kalimaxos does write well. For example, his take on Anderson’s so-called classic (certainly overdone follow ups) is arguably the best.

Of course, Dr Cardoza was not fired. He was given an opportunity to resign, because that’s what big companies do: it insulates them, at least somewhat, from wrongful termination lawsuits. He was still a board certified neurosurgeon, and that meant he could go anywhere in the country, really anywhere in the world, and get a good position.

The worst attempt so far.

Weak and full of holes. Weak characters. So 2*

If Rick had been truly interested in continuing their marriage, he would have wanted to minimize Marcie's public embarrassment and keep knowledge of the affair as contained as possible. Toward those ends it seems far more likely he would call Marcie again, or send her a letter, asking that she withdraw from the DWB team and return home ASAP. He would, of course, inform her that if she chose to remain in Colombia he would approach the hospital's administrative staff, inform them of the cohabitation taking place and demand her immediate recall from the assignment. Marcie would have known the hospital and DWB would comply with her husband's request in hopes of avoiding adverse publicity.

Meh she turned super cunt in this one .. even moreso than the original.. good ending but seemed thin on the lack of communication on her I part.. she was a self obsessed twat who just cared about herself no one else

There just wasn't enough meat to this story for it to be worth writing. You didn't give enough characterization to the main players to justify this. Not the worst offering but very close. The largest plot hole by far is Rick outing the nurses. There is no way to come back from that level of destruction to their careers so using that as leverage ensured the destruction of the marriage. For a man as smart as he was supposed to be this was an egregious error in your attempt to use these characters to tell your version of the ending.

Reasonable ending. I wonder if Doctors without Borders has any morals clause in their contracts. A sṕecialist in brain surgery is too valuable to lose.

Officers don't reenlist! This was by far one of the worst of the "Just Once" saga. I really don't know why I still read any of them except to see if any LW writers can get it right! *1 was the only choice!

Enjoyed the constructive comments. I did feel that I cut the second page short and could have developed it in more detail. Thanks for that thought.

you could have keep this one, the husband was nothing more than door mat, fuck Marcie and move on.

As if anyone one in Bogota, has a brain worth saving!!

Rick seems like a reluctant pussy. ..

I think you did a good job. The tragedy is that things like this really happen.

Marcy is a bitch!

I really disliked the inability of Rick and Josh to just accept that their marriages were over. The indecision, crying and being unable to live without the cheaters wasn't enjoyable in the least nor, as I see it, realistic.

Ok. Marcy was a spoiled, Narcissist bitch. Good riddance! In a few years, she will be as ugly on the outside, as on the inside. 5 stars!

Terrible definitely one of worst alternate ending

After reading the waste of time the only ones I feel sorry for are the men and women who will have to serve under this weak, indecisive and pathetic excuse for a leader. Maybe he can get on Dementia Biden's staff instead. Then any collateral damage done in his vicinity will be an improvement for the country.

As for Marcy "the cunt" and Doctor feel good. Well They got off easy. Doctor dumbass would have never made it home. I would never raise my hand to a women, that being said I would just give the letter to my sisters and let nature take its course..........AHH Poor Marcy.....You stupid cunt.

1 star - this ending is not worth a comment

I think you had something but your marcy portrayal felt unlike the actual character like you made her excessively bitchy so she is looked upon as irredeemable and actively hostile to her husband

Read again. Story about a putz and a bitch

What an utter load of garbage.... not even worth reviewing as it is to patently absurd on its face that it would be a comedy if it wasn't so utterly stupid. 1 star

Good story, terrible ending.

Officers don’t enlist or reenlist

Do i feel sorry for the husbands? NO!! Anybody that stupid who even thought about getting back with that piece of shit wife, does not deserve even a 2nd thought.

No resolution, no BTB, the only one that got punished was Trey. This one didn't do much for me. 2 stars

Trash writing.

First, your grammar is beyond awful. Secondly, you fall into the category of believing a woman is being "bullied" because her husband expects faithfulness. Thirdly, you paint this husband as a weak-minded cuck. No way he was ever military. This story is terrible on every front.

I actually think this ending was a very interesting and realistic way to confront the issue of a cheating spouse. I just wish it had dealt more with the moral equivalence problem of the original story. Did one episode of oral sex justify a planned attack on the marriage with blatant disregard for the wedding vows? This would not have been the end of the cheating on Marcy would have created a one sided open marriage.

Despite not addressing this issue I thought it was a good finish to the story.