All Comments on 'Just One Kiss - Goodbye'

Well written & very hot!

It distracts when one reads something which doesn't make sense...

She's on her back on the bed, he's between her legs, licking her clit and finger-fucking her so ... "Her hands were now in his hair. Shamelessly pressing him further into his crotch." ... left me wondering "how she could press his crotch?" as that's presumably as far from her shoulders as possible...

Care needed as you swap genders too often in the more exciting bits. Later on "She writhed underneath him temporarily lost in a world of her own as she pumped steadily into her. " .... Hmmm as she steadily pumped ... think you meant HE.

"His keep thrusting as more of his cum shot into him." Shot into HIM ?

I guess that was "His cock/penis KEPT...." ... HER

I would offer to edit for typos and grammar but have yet to submit anything of my own so far, and would feel bad if I made a load of mistakes in my own work while being critical of others'.

Please accept this as gentle criticism - loved the hot story but it could have been better without glitches... gave it 5 stars, as minor points didn't ruin the story.

Hope 'Jamie' is still fucking you frequently, 'Paige' (?) (just a guess)

Thank you for the criticism. All my bad.

I submitted the story without really going through it as meticulously as I should have. It's my first written work of Erotica and I got a bit too excited to submit.

I cringed at all the mistakes I found when the story was finally published.

An edited version was submitted a couple of days ago, but as of now, it hasn't replaced the original version yet.

I'll do better with future submissions. I promise. :)