Just Remember I Told You

It had been a bitch of a trip. A two day "stop only for gas, restroom, and fast food" drive home from what was to have been two weeks of renewal. It was late. We got home and there was little in the way of edible food in the house. Up early for work, stopped at the local doughnut shop for a couple of my favorites and a coffee on my way.

The whole office was surprised by my very early return. No time for a good lunch so had a package of cheese crackers and a soda at my desk. Met with my boss and got my ass chewed for someone else's mistake.

Home in time to watch my wife, Laurie, drive down the street followed by a rental truck. Her destination unknown; at least to me.

I took a power protein bar out of the cooler we took on the ill-fated trip. The food we put in it when we left sat there unused, the ice and ice packs were melted, and everything was warm. The protein bar was soaked with water from the melted ice and was inedible.

In the livingroom, most of the stuff she had before we married was gone. I went to the bedroom. Her childhood dresser and chest of drawers was also gone. None of her stuff was there and her closet was empty. In the kitchen, three dirty coffee cups sat on the island. Her family's china and crystal were gone.

None of that came as a surprise.

The purpose of the trip was to try to work out a few problems our two-year marriage had developed. To be honest, we only had one big one, but it was the biggest. To cheat or not to cheat, that was the question. My vote was to NOT cheat.

One of the songs the DJ played at our reception was something about getting married in a fever and that pretty well described us. We knew each other only six months before getting married.

Do you have any idea how many people told us both it was a huge mistake to get married so soon? The short answer is virtually everybody I knew, or was related to. It was the same with her, but we wouldn't listen because we were in love and we knew better than all of them combined.

God, what fucking idiots we were.

The fever that the reception song referred to ended pretty soon after the minister pronounced us man and wife. The remnants of the wedding cake weren't even stale when the problems began.

They started with her new boss's son. A college football player who was raised to believe that he was entitled to anything he wanted.

His father bought the car dealership where my wife worked. There are six new car dealerships in our small town and after Martin Justin, Jr. bought the one Laurie worked at, he owned three of them. Laurie had worked there for four years and had been instrumental in getting my cousin, Jeffery, hired to detail the cars. Everyone who knew Jeff liked and trusted him.

He is not the brightest or quickest guy in the world and cleaning cars was a job he liked, and he did it well. He is also a pretty decent mechanic, but never had the confidence to work at it full time. He was one of my groomsmen at my wedding and in addition to being my cousin, I considered him a good friend.

After Justin bought the dealership, his son didn't come around at first because he was in school, but when it was over for the summer he started hanging around and the office where mostly females worked became his favorite hangout spot. It didn't take long for Laurie's desk to become the center of his universe when he was at the dealership.

At first, he was a nuisance according to Laurie. Then she said nothing about him and I assumed he either stopped or went on to someone else to pester.

Jeff was more silent than usual one evening while he and I were sitting on the porch of Laurie's and my rented house.

He liked beer, but had a very low tolerance for alcohol, so I always had near beer for him. If he ever knew the difference, he never said anything.

Don't get the wrong idea. He is no dummy. He just can't "catch on" to things very fast, but man, when he learns something... anything... he never forgets it, and he is intensely loyal to his friends, and especially me.

So, we were sitting on the porch. He hadn't said much and barely touched his drink. I would often find him staring at me.

"Okay, Jeff. What's up?"

"Roger likes Laurie." Roger was Justin's son.

I chuckled. "Everybody likes Laurie."

"Laurie likes Roger."

"No, she doesn't."

"Tim, I'm not that slow. He spends a lot of time talking to her. Today he left for lunch at the same time she did and they came back at the same time."

Laurie never went out for lunch. She always ate in the break room and watched game shows on TV.

"Are you sure?"

He nodded slowly.

That was the first indicator that there was trouble in paradise. We didn't talk about it anymore that evening.

When she got home, I asked her if everything at work was okay and if she was having any problems.

"Everything is fine. Why do you ask?"

"No reason. Roger was being a pest before and you haven't mentioned him in a while."

"Oh, he's still a pest, but I can handle him."

The second, third and fourth indicators came in rapid succession and all came from Jeff. Inappropriate touching, like his hand on her ass, or her hand on his leg when they were sitting close together; shit like that, but nothing that directly pointed to cheating.

I didn't like what I was hearing, but I hadn't said anything to Laurie about it, either. I just told Jeff to keep an eye on them and tell me what he saw. Those times when he saw something inappropriate, he called me.

I was usually pretty aggressive and confrontational, but I bided my time for a couple of reasons. First, I really didn't want to think about her doing something untoward like cheating; but I also didn't want to hear all the "I told you so's" I'd get from everyone I knew, if she did cheat.

One afternoon he called to tell me Laurie and Jeff were in Jeff's father's office... kissing. Kissing crossed the line. I talked to her about it that evening. At first, she denied everything, but finally admitted she and Roger had "played around and kissed a little, but nothing serious happened".

"Is something 'serious' going to happen?" I asked.

"Of course not," was her response.

I let it be known in no uncertain terms that I would tolerate no further 'playing around and kissing,' and that adultery would definitely result in a divorce. "We can get divorced just as quickly as we got married, and I won't hesitate getting a divorce if you ever sleep with anyone else!"

Although I never told her how I knew about her and Roger, Jeff was fired the next day. It wasn't difficult to figure that one out. Laurie and I never discussed his firing, but I did comment on how chickenshit it was to fire a handicapped person. I also mentioned that Jeff and I were going file a complaint against Justin with the ADA people.

Nobody ever considered Jeff to be handicapped, just slow, and the mention of filing a complaint was just me blowing off. He and I had not discussed any such thing.

The next day, Jeff was hired back to work in one of the other two dealerships Martin Justin, Jr., owned, but the employees where he originally worked protested so much that he was brought back to his original job. It was an interesting exercise in human relations. Virtually everyone at the dealership leaped to Jeff's defense.

After our chat and my declaration that divorce could be gotten quickly, Laurie and I had several discussions about appropriate behavior for married people. First and foremost among those behavior's was the fact that you never let yourself get in a situation that was not 'spouse approved'. For example, while lunch alone with a member of the opposite sex, not a family member, may be totally innocent, it's appearance could possibly start rumors; especially in a small town. Once rumors start, there is no controlling them and a good reputation can 'go south' in a hurry.

After that particular conversation, we did some soul searching and decided to take some time off and try to get some of the magic back; some of "the fever" the song at our reception referred to.

We planned the trip, got the time off, packed and drove off. We took two full days to get there. The first few hours of the trip were pleasant enough, but then.....

We hadn't been on the road four hours and her phone rang. She looked at it, but didn't answer. She did turn off the ringer, however. Less than an hour later, she got another call. She was holding it in her hand and it vibrated. She felt the initial vibration and she jumped, nervously. She looked but didn't answer, but just a few minutes later asked if we could stop to use the restroom.

We pulled into a big truck stop. I pulled up to a pump and she jumped out and went inside. I usually dislike thoughtless drivers who fill their tanks then let their vehicle sit at the pump while they go inside and shop or use the facilities. That generally means other drivers have to wait to fill up. It flows much smoother if, after you fill your tank, you park your vehicle before going inside, but what the hell; that's just me complaining.

I was the thoughtless person that time. As she hurried inside, I followed. She never looked back and was on her phone as soon as she was inside the door.

"I told you I'd call when I had a chance". There was a pause. "Damn it Roger, I mean it. I'll call you when I get back." Another pause. "Roger...don't." She looked at her phone, then looked around her. I ducked below a long shelf of snacks and waited a few seconds before lifting my head to see if she was still there. Her back was to me as I heard her speak. "You son of a bitch. Don't ever hang up on me again." Apparently, the son of a bitch did hang up on her again because she just looked at her, apparently dead, phone again.

She didn't bother looking around that time. She just tried to call him but he never answered. She was looking down at her phone when I walked up and stood in front of her.

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

"Uh, yeah, yeah, it's fine." She looked at me. "I have to use the restroom," she said as she rushed away.

I returned to the car and filled its' tank. She came out carrying a soda. I looked at her. "That's okay. I'll get my own," I said as I started inside. She stared as if she had no idea that it would have been nice to have at least asked me if I wanted something from the store.

As I left the store with my own soda, I looked and she was on the phone again. She ended just as I opened the door to get in. I said nothing as I started the car and drove off.

We spent that night in a motel. We had Pizza delivered to our room and were in bed before 10.

We drove most of the next day with very little conversation. We checked into our hotel, ate dinner in the hotel dining room and went to bed.

I was still awake staring at the darkness just after eleven when I saw her phone light up. No noise, just the light. She jumped up and ran to the bathroom with it. I rose slowly and stood outside the closed bathroom door trying to hear, but couldn't. "Please don't" were the only two words I understood.

The conversation went on for a couple of minutes as I stood trying to make out what she was saying, but could not. I was still standing there when she opened the door. She screamed! I had frightened the crap out of her.

"Wha... what are you doing there?" She asked after she realized who it was.

"I was just wondering what you were doing in there?" I indicated the bathroom.

"Nothing. Just using the bathroom."

"Did you need your phone for that?"

"Uh, yes. I used it's light so I wouldn't hit anything getting here."

She tried to go around me. "You forgot to flush."

"Oh. Yeah." She went back and flushed.

"Who were you talking to?"

"What?"

"Who were you talking to?"

"Nobody. Why?"

I knew she was lying and she knew I knew. "I'm going to bed. In the morning, tell me who you were talking to and what you were talking about, or we're going home. We came on this trip to try to sort things out, but that will take both of us. Keeping secrets doesn't bode well if that is our plan."

I went to bed where I finally fell asleep just before sunup. She was sitting on the sofa in the room when I awoke about an hour after I went to sleep. I sat up, put a couple of pillows behind me and looked at her.

She looked back at me. "It was Roger."

"What was it about?"

"He wants me to sleep with him."

I thought before I responded. "Again?" I asked. She hesitated before nodding. That was a shot in the dark on my part. I had no reason to believe they had actually slept together. I was honestly taken aback by her admission. "How many times have you slept with him already?"

"Two."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure. The first was curiosity, I think."

"And the second?"

"He said if I didn't, he would tell you."

"And he's threatening it again."

"Yes."

I knew what my response was going to be. I had never given her any indication that cheating would be okay. In fact, I had told her point blank what would happen if she did, and I expected no less from her if I cheated. "You know that ends our marriage, don't you?"

Tears appeared in her eyes as she nodded again. I got up and went to the bathroom. Regardless of what's happening around you, when the urge to pee hits, you pee. After I flushed and washed my hands, I brushed my teeth, washed my face, put my tooth brush and paste back in my shaving kit and opened the door. "I'm going home. You can either ride with me or wait for him to come pick you up."

It only took a few minutes to pack and leave the room. I checked us out and we got in the car and began the long, "stop only for gas, restroom, and fast food trip" alluded to earlier.

The trip should have given her an opportunity to apologize, ask for forgiveness, or beg for a second chance, but she didn't do any of those things. In fact, neither of us spoke the entire time. When we stopped, she bought her food and I bought mine. If she needed to stop for the restroom, she never once mentioned it. When we stopped, she was always first back to the car.

At home, my first day back at work was over, the house was clear of anything belonging to Laurie and I hadn't had a good meal in days.

We had never used the only food delivery service in town, but I figured now was a good time to start. I went to their site, opened an account and ordered food.

Forty minutes later, the delivery service rang my doorbell, I took my food, gave the driver a tip in addition to the one I added to the total when I ordered the food, and looked forward to enjoying it with a glass, or two, or six, of wine.

I put the food on a TV tray and sat to eat. From my chair I could see both the TV and out my front window to the street.

A car sat on the street with someone in the driver's seat.

As I ate, my attention went from the TV to the car where the driver just sat there. I was half through the meal and the driver hadn't moved. I took a sip of wine and went outside. The driver saw me coming and lowered the window. It was my food delivery driver and she was in tears.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No. My car won't start and I can't get anyone to help me." I hadn't paid any attention to either her or her car when she first arrived because my mind was on other things. "Everyone I know is tied up or not answering and my brother can't be here for another hour."

Another thing I hadn't noticed was the child in the back seat. She was sitting with a book in her lap, looking like she wanted to cry, too. "Would you like me to look at it?"

"Oh, God, please do."

She opened her door and slid over. I sat behind the wheel, and turned the key. Click, click, click, then nothing. I did it again. No clicking that time.... Just nothing. I'm not a mechanic by any stretch of the imagination, but I think I know when a battery is dead.

I brought my car and tried to jump-start her car, but no luck. All of a sudden, it was above my pay grade.

"Look, why don't the two of you come inside. I'll ask my cousin to come over and take a look at it. They reluctantly followed me in. "Make yourselves comfortable while I call him."

Jeff was there in 15 minutes and her car was running in 30. She thanked me, talked to Jeff, hugged him and left.

The next two days at work sucked. I hadn't told anyone about Laurie, and my boss was all over my ass like white on rice and I was tired of it. My personal life was down the toilet, and he expected a silk purse out of a sow's ear on a marginally profitable project. I decided it was time for a come to Jesus meeting with him. "I'm tired of you ragging on me. The project was a loser from the beginning and I told you it was a loser. I hate ultimatums, but you either stay off my ass and let me see what I can make of it, or you can give it to someone else, or you can just kiss my ass and I'm out of here. Your choice. I'm going home. Call me when you've decided."

I felt pretty confident that he would let me cool down for a couple of days, then call me back to work.

Besides. I needed to find an attorney and get the divorce started.

That evening I called Jeff to see if he wanted to have a drink; although a drink with him involves wine or beer for me and near beer for him.

"I can't. I have a date."

He had dated when we were both in high school and when I was in college, he used to call and tell me about his few and far between dates and would ask my advice. If he ever 'got lucky', I never heard about it, but then he's the type of guy who wouldn't go around bragging about it, even to me. In addition to being a bit on the slow side of life, he was also horribly shy and strangers made him very nervous. "Well......good for you. Who is the lucky girl?"

"Jenny."

"Jenny who?"

"The food girl."

"What food girl?"

"The one at your house with the broken car."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Well, Mister smooth talker, how did that happen?"

"When I fixed her car, I told her that if she needed any more help to call me... so she did."

"And you helped her again."

He chuckled like a kid. "I did."

"So, where are you taking her?"

"No place."

"No place?"

"No. I'm going to her house. She's making dinner for me."

I laughed, happy for him, but couldn't resist the opportunity to tease him. "You know she's a vegan, don't you?"

"What's that?"

"That's someone who only eats plants. No meat. No eggs. No dairy products." Jeff was a real meat and potatoes kind of guy. There are a couple of restaurants that advertise if you eat a huge steak, which is more like a roast, with the salad, veggies, and dessert, it's free. There is one not too far from us. Jeff did it. He was sick for two days, but he did it."

"No meat? Not even hamburger? What will I eat?"

"Well, they'll be lots of salad. Maybe some beans. And if you're lucky, quinoa."

"Queen, who?"

"Not queen. Quinoa. It's a seed used to make lots of vegan dishes. They used to feed it to animals years ago in the Lake Titicaca region of South America before people started eating it."

"Titty-cock what? I'm not hungry anymore."

I laughed into the phone. "I'm kidding, Jeff. I have no idea what she eats, but whatever it is, I'm sure it will be good. Go and have fun."

I decided to call the food delivery service again for my own dinner.

The next day I was putzing around the house. Laurie was gone and I still had over a year on the lease, so I figured I'd make it comfortable for me. I also figured my boss would call, apologize and ask me to come back to work.

By mid-afternoon, he hadn't called, but his wife did. "Tim, I'm getting tired of listening to your father complain about you screwing things up. You have a degree, why don't you go to work for someone else if the two of you can't get along?"

"I'm thinking about doing that, mom, but you know I'd have to move somewhere else."