by Mentalcase
Wow...is Right!!!!! All the sisters are revealed to having "thoughts" about Mike...so he is NOT ALONE in his little "perversion"!
This is funny, somewhat dramatic, yet totally entertaining at the same time.
Five Stars!! 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Must be bothersome always arguing with the voice in your head. Another well thought out and written chapter. I look forward to reading the next. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.
I'm so envious of those reading this for the first time. This is only my 2nd and it's been about a year, so I've already forgotten some things....hopefully I have forgotten more as I go through the chapters - it'll feel almost brand new :-)
Gets better and better. "Slosh, whack, ohmygodimsosorry, wow!" Wow, indeed. Nice work MC!
Let’s go haha, forgot how funny the start to this series is. Love the first few chapters so much for the story telling and build up.
I fucking love the voice in his head! It is hilarious, and it’s a little quirky comments kill me. That voice is probably what keeps me reading this series. Don’t get me wrong, the story itself is great, but add the voice and it’s almost like reading an erotic porn sitcom. Can’t wait to continue in the story!
What a fantastical combination! Sexual fantasies, coupled with, incestuous images. Topped off, or should that be? 'Tossed off?' with a lavish dressing of ; one must acknowledge; shared sibling humour. I greatly anticipate the rest of the series. Well done, keep up the good work. Love it!!! Den
wow...man...simply wow...this is funny as hell and erotic at the same time. Voice of Mike's brain is my favourite character.
man............your blessed in the art of writing erotic fantasies........
couldn't help but kill myself with laughter when his voice said "grab her tits and run....she will never catch you"
HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......................dude...........keep on writing... u have my blessings
That was an amazing chapter, ive just started this series and its pretty dam good, that dick slap tho, oh my god so funny
Lol, funny how everyone loves different things about the story, heh. I hate the voice, ...and Mike...sigh. You just love to hate him! He's such a tard beyond belief! Lol. ...but here I am, reading the story again for the umpteenth time heh :)
Give the assertion of twintuition of fraternal twins, any girl being faster than a star wide receiver is just one hyperbole over the line of believable fiction. Still a 5 star.
I very much enjoyed both chapters so far it is very refreshing to find a chapter story that doesn't dive head on into the sex very well written and as far as the grammer with the there their and they're we can tell by context clues as to which one you are using and that final ANON ASSHOLE after reading 48 out of 50 positive comments he just must not have good taste and BTW I love the voice and the artfully crafted humor so far
I HAD TO GIVE ONE STAR AND THAT WAS TO MUCH. NEGATIVE FIVE STARS IS THE RIGHT AMOUNT. JUNK CRAP. THAT'S ALL THIS IS
sounds very good a young man with 4 sexy sisters Omg it sounds like mine and the fun we had the licking ,the sucking and fucking once it started it went on for nearly 20 years it is still my fondest memory.
I love the story. The inner voice is killing me lol. You write very well, thank you and please dont stop :D
This is the 3rd time I'm reading the series back from chapter 26. If you're do not posting the next chapter soon then i WILL hunt you down n kick your ass...
LMAO, that was rich. I love scenes like that. Sexual humor is great when it's properly executed. Well done my friend. Well done.
So, what DO you say when you've just bludgeoned your eldest sister in the face with your cock? Can't wait to find out. Keep it coming MC.
Hi Mentalcase,
I'm just starting to reread this story. I originally started around chapter 2. Since it has run awhile, I decided to reread it from the start.
My assessment from the beginning through Chapter 25, and now through chapters 1 and 2 is that this story is simply outstanding.
Keep up the good, no superb, work!
poolman
this must be the fourth or fifth time I have read this story. It beats them all.
It hurts reading this story. I’ve been laughing way to much and as the voice says, "That was awesome"
Don't all people on this site have there own little perverted voice? ;)
I can't tell you how long I have been waiting to read a incest story like this one WOW
Hahahah.. oh my god... You made me laugh so damn much.... I think ill die laughing before I am finished with all chapters..
Hahahaha I love the humour you have in the story xD I outright laughed as I read how Sarah got smacked :p
Haha, the inner-voice does sound like Bob from the Dresden Files doesn't it?
Haha I loved it. "grab her tits and run they'll never catch us!" hahaha lol
I just started reading these tonight. They are amazing! Fantastic Job!
Reading something this well written seems like I'm secretly stealing a book off the shelves of the local bookstore and parking my hind-end in a chair for hours on end. It's truly a joy. On a side note, the conversations between the lead and the leads' thoughts are positively fascinating and downright hilarious. Way to go!
You have a wicked imagination. I'm quite jealous! :P
It's nice to find a sex story that actually has a story. You don't dive headfirst into the sex, you set the background, the charcters, the life situations very naturally and unforced.
Again I will make some constructive criticism and that is mainly grammer check. It's not horrible but, give it a closer look in the future.
Keep writing. It's going great.
maybe you should use spellcheck, since the last one is spelled. "they're" not "they'er"
I just wish ONE writer would use a good proofreader and spellchecker.
THERE
THEIR
THEY'ER
are different words with different meanings.
And no, I am not good enough to be a proofreader and I need to use "spellchecker" in MS Word. BUT, I do know when a real expert is needed.
The plot, the sense of humor and the wordcrafting are excellent but could be nearly perfect with a bit more attention to grammar, spelling and context.
Keep writing. You are well worth the read.
Thank you,
de Jay
I laughed very hard when reading parts of this it was lots of fun, especially his mid voice. It was nice to see all of the sisters forced to notice there brother is a grown man. It is nice to read a story that is so well written and edited thanks for your hard work.
"Mike's dick hit her square in the face"
I just fell off my bed laughing!
I've read stories that are romantic, stories that are just about sex but never a sex story with genuine humour like this!
A great piece of work and that voice is hilarious!
Wow lol tha voice just cracks me up. Every time I think it can't get better it does
I find the story entertaining and funny; but the voice in my head thinks it's fucking awesome.
Love this stuff. What is it about wanting to be the only male in this situation.
Don't know, but I love it
One of my ultimate fantasies.
Those "Boys in Babeland" type stories seem to always work really well...I have a feeling that the new prototype could be just the six of us...type of tale from here on out...
Well written, sexy, and funny, what more could a reader want? A mix up with "they're" and "their", but I blame ZexWizzard, s/he's the editor! :)
That was hilarious! The voice is awesome. Mike has just the right amount of crazy
Jerry in Washington State, USA - I loved the ending ... talk about one of life's most embarrassing moments! I enjoyed the scenes of Mike's conflicts with Danni - they just seem to rub each other the wrong way. I have two older sisters. The sister just a little older than me was very sweet and we were very close. My older sister was 8 years older and very bossy and we rarely got along until we were much older adults. I like the differences in personality that you are showing for each sister.
Holy shit. Great story, and if you meant to be hilarious you win.
I'm not going to comment at the end of each chapter but,,
its called fiction for a reason !!
Thanks for the comments. No, this isn't about me, it's pure fantasy. I don't have any real voices in my head and I don't really wanna nail my sisters. Keep commenting, good and bad are all read. Thanks again!
if this is about you you need to see a shrink he/you are wacko
Excellent start, I really like the plot device of the voice in the head and I hope there is a lot more of this series. Thanx