All Comments on 'Justine Ch. 05'

another excellent chapter i like buddy and am interested to see how things go between Quinn and her i can not wait for the next chapter

I love the pace and story line. hate the cliff hangers but have become accustomed to them in your stories. Another excellent chapter, well done

I am liking Buddy, as a fmiliar he knows what is best. Interesting twists.

Thank you!

M1

But I hate those damn cliff hangers, can a sister get more than two pages. Please with sugar on top?

I've made my way through all your stories Kal and I have to say, without question, this is my favorite. The pacing is great, the writing is tight, well presented and quite enticing. I'm enjoying the story and the deliberate character development. Your cliff-hangers can be tough to tolerate but the next chapter is always well worth the suspense. Thanks for all the fruits of your delightfully creative mind.

I smiled when Pam clicked her heels like Dorothy, she must have been thinking 'there's no place like the basement'. This story is getting so interesting, I can't wait for the next chapter.

Yves

I like this story, but there are some issues I have with the multiple view points. The fact that the story chapter's are short makes it rough transitions from one view point to the next. Also, foreshadowing is okay, but you constantly use it and it can be frustrating as you don't give enough time or development of characters and plot to work it out. For example; you wrote about a fairy tale Jerimiah remembered his mother telling his sisters. Okay, don't tell us about the fairy tale (that would give too much away) but how does Jerimiah have family members? Were they his blood relatives that were turned? Can vampires have children? Etc.

By not taking the time to flush out your plot with details, you leave the reader wondering too many questions that have no answers. If you continue you may lose readers as you don't answer the questions.

I suggest getting an editor and a beta reader. One to edit the story and the other to tell you what they think and if there are problems or issues that need to be thought about.

Good luck and cheers!

Caroline

umm he is an interesting addition to this story. There's so much that im wondering about. like that old lady at the mansion, who is she and how does she know about buddy?? what does mikhail really want?? will pam survive? Most importantly, I hope that you keep justice characters as tought as she has been and not all suppy because of quinn. Another great chapter, thanks.

Loving the story, but is Buddy a dog vampire or something? I don't know how you write all these stories and make them all SOOOOOOO good. Eagerly awaiting more.

The story w/i a story, I like it. So when do we get to hear the fable? Buddy, I knew he was something I just couldn't figure out what so thanks for clearing that up. So if Quinn is Justine's mate why does she not know this? Does she just have to much on her mind? I think Mikhail is more interested in how Justine has the powers she does. And Jeremiah, I figure your not done with him yet.

As always I wait for the next installment.

Wow Girl, did anyone tell you that you definitely write like a pro. You have to take a little more effort, and you can definitely be a paranormal novelist.

How refreshing to make a dog a familiar. You know in most tales the familiar is a cat or creature of the air. There are many benefits to using a canine....highly intuitive....ability to read and respond...extremely expressive with their bodies. You are a very creative writer always coming up with sparkling new approaches. I love your vision and look forward to the tale within a tale and the part Quinn's humanity means to sistah Justine and Pam. A nice eclectic mix of characters you have brought together. LOVE IT!!!!!

This is seriously one of the best nonhuman/vampire stories on this site. Love it!

Why does such a strong, awesome woman get stuck with a wimpy, whiny mate like that? It's depressing. I was hoping she'd end up with Mikhail... or anyone strong and deserving of her.

Of course I'll still read the story, but I can't even tell you how much Quinn takes away from it. :(

I love this story but its trying my patience. I feel like I'm reading in circles. Each chapter sounds like the one before with no growth. Something is special about Justine.... I get it already. Now what is so special? Jeremiah want Justine back and knows something is special about her.... okay already. Mikhail knows Jeremiah is hiding something and that Justine is a special case.... did I type Justine was special again? Creepy Quinn with very little sex appeal is stalking Justine, but he's her mate, so its okay? Thank God you let Pam escape and poor Malcolm with his voice of reason dies even though he was a villian. And Buddy? What is he? Who are the two women who made a brief appearance in this story and only made one attempt to help Justine?

This such a good story but it feels stunted.

I wonder if Quinn will end up with Pam?

hey stop being whiny. Quinn's not takin a shit. She knows why she create character like him. Whether to nurture him or execute him- its totally upon her.

hey stop being whiny. Quinn's not takin a shit. She knows why she create character like him. Whether to nurture him or execute him- its totally upon her.

hey stop being whiny. Quinn's not takin a shit. She knows why she create character like him. Whether to nurture him or execute him- its totally upon her.

hey stop being whiny. Quinn's not takin a shit. She knows why she create character like him. Whether to nurture him or execute him- its totally upon her.

Love love love. I didn't think I would become addicted to this story but I am! Can't wait for the next installment.

I somehow agree with cantfightfate comment. Well I would prefer Mikhail than Quinn to end to be Justine's mate, not because is a cool vampire or something but because he's got some "substance". Quinn seems like a flat character or a puppet (sorry for the comparison) compare to the other male lead or at least human character of your stories (like Dwight from The House, I like him). If not that I really like this story and all of your stories (but my favorite is still - I will love you forever, just an an amazing story, deep and moving characters even the bad ones). You are a very talented writer Kal.

Mikhail is turning out to be a cool vampire, however I still like Quinn. Quinn has been through a lot in his life, the bad stuff was him using drugs. That is why he lost his family, and Justine is his chance to love again. I do agree that Quinn is too punkish and needs to man up. Leila I want dead!!!

While I do agree with a couple of the posters about Mikhail's power being an intriguing match with Justine's power, Quinn definitely has a strength of his own. I also agree that further definition of the plot would be beneficial, but I don't agree that you'll lose readers. As the author of this series you have poetic license to do with it, as you like. In subsequent chapters, you will probably pull all of the remaining characters together (I really wish there could have been some type of battle for Malcolm's demise-he hurt far too many women to go out that easily). Please keep your style, but know your readers would love more character and plot development (hence the constant requests for a few more pages). Keep on writing, Kal!

At first, I thought that Quinn would be Justine's mate but she didint feel a connection with him like the other vampires in your other stories. Quinn seems like a great guy, but I would love to see her with Mikhail. Mikhail just seems like he would balance her out and that they would have a lot going for them as a couple. Quinn, on the other hand, seems like he would be a great friend not lover and mate.

Need more now!

Another well thought out and written chapter. I look forward to reading the next. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.

Another well thought out and written chapter. I look forward to reading the next. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.