Kablooey!

Somewhere in the early hours, I woke up. He didn't notice.

I stood up and stretched every muscle. A new day and I was feeling full of myself - proud and strong.

Right away, I could feel her soft skin against me as she cuddled. Ever since she came along, my mornings are no longer lonely.

How can he just lay there, inert, with this going on? As usual, I will need to take charge.

"Hey stupid! There's something going on over here you're not going to want to miss."

Nothing. What an idiot.

Being right up against her asshole is warm and nasty. Just the way I like it.

"Mmmm..." she exhales, half asleep herself.

That's okay. I can wait.

For the past 25 years, I've seen it all.

Let me tell you the whole story.

I signed up for active duty as young as I could and saw action almost immediately. However, my first time in the field, I really let the whole unit down. Embarrassingly, I was nervous and quite frankly, scared. We were hidden in the bush and all was quiet. I just felt so antsy. After all, it was my first time in battle, holding a gun I'd never fired in anger...face it I was scared shitless!

I looked to the squad leader and...nothing. He was just laying on his belly with his eyes closed. I needed some leadership from him at this most tense moment of my life...nothing. 'Shit, this guy is useless!'

My nerves were about shot. I was trembling. Without knowing what I was doing, I let off a salvo into the darkness and all hell broke loose. The entire outfit was going off like a Roman candle. All I could do was ride it out and keep firing till I was out of ammo.

Then, it was all over. I just sat there, deflated and ashamed. I vowed to never let that happen again.

Yea, easier said than done.

The next time I found myself in battle it was more like a wrestling match. Mano e Mano. It was in broad daylight, the summer wind whistling through the straps on my helmet. Suddenly I was grabbed from behind. I was pushed and shoved like never before.

Pumping myself up with more bravado than I actually felt, I queried, "Really, is that all you got?"

Holy shit. That's when it really got rough. I thought for sure that I was being pummeled with a machine gun when I suddenly felt the vice-like pressure around my neck. 'I'll be choked to death' I thought, in panic. He definitely had the upper hand on me and all I could think to do was to pull the trigger again and let him have it. I did. Almost immediately he released me from his grip and I could breathe again. I fell to my knees, thankful to have simply survived.

There were many more forays into strange jungles and even more brawls I endured. Over time, I learned to hold my own in the most extreme situations.

There was a mission that entailed going into a rain forest and entering a truly dark cave. I could tell right away that I would barely fit through the entrance, but the squad just shoved harder until I got through. I couldn't see a thing and kept being jostled by the forces behind me.

"If you don't stop jamming me in here, I'm going start blasting away without regard as to who gets hurt." I yelled back.

I was being bulldozed deeper and deeper into the darkness until I just couldn't take it anymore. I opened up with all I had, blind and angry.

"You see what happens when you keep pushing me beyond my limits? Now, back off!"

Apparently, this was the kind of "talking to" that was necessary. The company did, in fact, back off. As I left the battlefield, I never knew what damage I'd caused in that murky place. I could only hope we never returned.

I was to be disappointed.

Not only did we return, but I would often have to deal with a one-on-one wrestling match shortly after one of these jungle raids. How much longer would I be able hold up under this nearly constant torture?

And I always felt so alone.

I remember when I was really young, I had friends to play with. Sword play was always a favorite. It was always light and fun without having to keep score or know who was the winner and who was the loser. You know, fun?

But after I joined up, it all got super serious and very much performance oriented. How much could you take before you broke? How many times could you head back to the heat of battle before you just couldn't stand up anymore? There was always someone keeping score and I never felt like I was ahead, always behind.

It's was brutal. That was until I was shipped out of the combat zone and landed at a base of operations that had familiar routines and decent R&R. That was also when I first felt the warmth of her skin, the ease of her company. No more competition. No more always being on the hunt for the next crusade.

As I stand here now, still waiting by the way, I'm thankful not to be out there day after day exploring the unknown. It's just so nice to be "at ease" most of the time.

Ah, here comes the customary gesture of gentle movement against me.

Okay, we're going to need to work together on this guy. I'll let a tear fall from my eye and you push a little harder. The salty wetness oils the wheels enough to get a grunt out of him.

"HEY ASSHOLE! Check out the one I'm rubbing against. Let's go."

"Juss another fi minutes..." he mumbles.

"ANOTHER 5 MINUTES?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??"

Okay, this means war. I'm not taking this lying down. Now I really start the "waterworks" and soon her ass cheeks are like a slip-and-slide. Come on, buddy, if you don't get it together, I'm gonna start without you.

"Oh, yea..." she murmurs and rubs her ass enthusiastically against my face.

"Honey, that's so good."

Finally, he's coming around. Now he's thrusting me harder against her crack. Okay, now we're talking. She gently takes hold of me and guides me into the toasty dark place I'm very familiar with now. This is a place where I can hang out for a while. Even though he's still a bit clumsy, his once lunging punches have mellowed to a steady advancement, making it much easier and enjoyable for me.

I feel like I'm gliding through midair with each push and pull. I'm in heaven...

...wait a minute.

He's pushing too hard now. It's feeling more intense. "Hey buddy, back off," I cry.

There's no use. Now she's joined in the hostilities and is really bringing it - bearing down on me while he's using me like a piston, gyrating out of control.

Oh hell, I can barely breathe. I'm panicking. The stampede of pressure is overcooking me.

"Three seconds to detonation..." some spy movie line fills my brain.

I can feel the thunder coming. What was a lovely morning give-and-take is now a full on violent engagement.

"Two...one..."

"EVERYBODY DOWN!"

Kablooey!

"Captain, I'm all out," I yell to no one in particular.

I'm done. I'm spent.

I'll slink away now and prepare for whatever comes next.

"Private Richard Cocksmith signing off...for now."