All Comments on 'Kaleidoscope Eyes Pt. 02'

I loved the first part but this part dragged on a bit. Still a good story but I hope part 3 is the conclusion.

Watch Your Back Fortunate Son Boyd aka Snidely Whiplash!

Our Dudley Doright narrator is going to tear your playhouse and reclaim his long lost love Roxanne err... Ruthanne so she doesn't have to put on her red light at local flea bag motel.

The taut and tense verisimilitude of first installment has morphed into mawkish Lee Child / Paulo Coelho hybrid. The Feds are doing a Knights of Round Table, Boyd is small town Sauron. I had some hopes of this story being a down in the boondocks variant of JR Tolkien's of 'Return of the King'. Alas only sudden introduction of singing elves or Hobbits with magic rings can save this Shire from the dreaded Dragons of Purple Prose which have hijacked this saga.

Good chapter! Waiting for the next one.

5

Rusty, from the first installment and this one laments how Ruthanne broke his heart when he saw the announcement that she had married Boyd. I somehow assumed this happened right after he healed up from his beating, so after the three weeks, and he was ready to come back and get her and rescue her.

But no, that's not the timeline at all. He healed up, then went for his basic training. Then went to Afghanistan for 10 months. And only then he decided to look her up and saw the notice in the paper about her upcoming nuptials. Meanwhile he didn't try to contact her at all. Not even a phone call to even ask how she fared after the rape. If she needed anything, you know, like being taken out of a small town where her rapists lived.

I mean even if he isn't born with it, doesn't the army teach the concept of "a sense of urgency?" And besides not understanding the concept of "a sense of urgency", he apparently doesn't understand the concept of when you can be upset at someone for abandoning you. Ruthanne has every right to be upset at him for abandonment. Him, zero!

Ruthanne isn't the only one that needs therapy. He could also use a class or two to teach him some common sense, and understanding the concept of "timing."

So ridiculous and bad, and he wuss for tryna get back with that can opener

5* is my standard score for one of Randi's acolytes and this story is no exception. I would like to see it move a little faster or maybe include more pages to move each chapter further. Not sure where the story ends, but I would love to see a decent conclusion that shows them as a family and maybe some more interaction with his Army brothers.

This was setup chapter. Detail Was excellent. Looking forward to payoff

I don't like where this is going. It's giving me weird vibes. What's happening here? Why do I feel like they're going to end up together and raise their daughter and have more kids? She's a whore.. sorry she's not even a whore. Whorew charge. She's just a cum slut. Getting rape doesn't turn you into a gutter slut. Sorry. Most rape victims don't turn into dick seeking missiles just cause they're life went to shit. Why is there a 3rd part to this story?

. Do Ruthanne and her parents get out alive? Is her mother being raped by one of thr Amigos? Does Russ get to beat the shot out of Boyd behind the service station while the SBI look away for several minutes? Do any of his ex-Army buddies come and help?

Enquiring minds want to know.

Part 1 was good this part not so good. It’s dragging hope it picks up in the next part.

Another excellent effort. There is a ton to cover and many area to expound on. This story could go on and on and it stands at the top of stories submitted.

Flavian, thanks for such a good story, You other anon's, you actually read the story?

Guy gets a beat down and goes on with his life. Why? Because about 99.999% of us don't have friends who are x-SEAL or x-Mossad or related to Tony Soprano.

Nor do we have friends/family at the top of the DOJ/FBI to unleash a legal tsunami on bad guys. Of course, having x military friends as LEO's, that far,far more realistic,given how many departments like x-military for various roles.

The story line is believable, and the flow is quite good. Enough time on the protagonist and just enough to paint the bad guys and bad guys with the old story of the corrupt town dictator/crook of Walking Tall days.

Look forward to part three, and thanks again.

Not as much hold on attention as first part, it's still a good story but needs wrapping up in next chapter.

OK lets see how this ends.

Good writing.

Sad you had to make her a slut though.

As I remarked on your first chapter, the depth and breadth of your prose is about as good as it gets around here.

Eager for the 3rd (& final?) installment!

A 5* continuation. Eager for the next chapters.

So now Russ has shared the details he's not supposed to share with at least 2 more people. Someone is going to spill.

Love the story. Looking forward to the next chapter.

First time I've ever seen Freemason Abbey feature in a Literotica story, and, except for the town of Simontown, it's nice to know all of the places you mention. But you must drive like a bat out of hell to get to Dad's rendezvous in an hour. More like two with traffic.

BTW, the Prime Rib at Freemason Abbey is better than the Lobster... if you can get it. Just surprised you didn't throw out our protagonist passing the WisKy on Waterside Drive before pulling into the Abbey into the story. Its less than a quarter mile away.

She is a whore, and he is telling her to much about a intervention. She is damaged goods but still a whore now. She can blow the whole police crackdown. I can see her getting killed and he saves his child. Crazy

I suspect that since the plot is so transparent that you try to make the story interesting with great detail and thoroughness, including a lot of extra descriptions about organizations and events and what flavor craft beer he was drinking. Sure, why not, your story, your style; tedious and distracting.

But it does make it easy to skip over and not miss anything important. The only real drama and suspense for me is, . . . are you going to let her chronically raped mother slit the groid's throat? That would be sweet. The rest, I already know.

Thanks for the effort.

Boring as bat shit. Gave up half way through page 1.

Part 2 was a even keel continuation. Russ's encounter with Ruthanne was suspect and the jury's still out on her whether she can be trusted. I mean either she just sized him up as a new interesting fuck partner. for mindless sex or her intentions have a darker purpose

Ruthanne's descriptions of her activities painted a picture that she doesn't seem to get anything out of the sexual escapes accept trying to feed a perceived need for unlimited sex with multiple partners which brings no sense of satisfaction or enjoyment. So, was she going for shock value with her revelations or was she trying to inflect pain on Russ for her abandonment. Her actions are more like a pattern of self destructive behavior where she's hoping she'll pick up some incurable STD that'll kill her or that one of fuck partners will put her out of her misery and end her hellish life.

I'm really enjoying your tale and am looking forward to new chapters.

Ignore all the Ano complaints the detail just gives it more flavor.

Keep on with this. I like it. It sounds like something that really is happening. I had family in Greensville, County Virginia involved when the famous lynching took place over a century ago. A black lynched by a white Democrat mob and a white lynched by a black Republican mob. Talk about a convoluted situation where government did nothing to stop it to a point of condoning it. This sounds like the same people control that area today. In bed with the mob. No law being what the people who are in control want. Until we get rid of the "Swamp Critters" there can be no law and order. If the story is true the ones who have done the crimes will get off AGAIN. Hope not!

Our Hero hadda tell Dad, and a senior politico keeps secrets until he/she needs them. In this case, Dad needs the operation to go down smoothly AND him knowing will assist the operation thru the release of funds for the ‘locals!’ But, I agree, Sweetie SweetTwat just needs to know that Our Hero is willing to help identify all the problems a rescue of Mom, Herself and Kid might hhave to overcome ... with no mention of a timeframe yet!

A good story, so far. Only quibble is that believing that SweetTwat’s hubby would allow his wife to misbehave like he does is tough to swallow! Good Ole Boys are entitled, their wives are entitled to behave properly.

Author, you seem to either want the story to go a certain way to the detriment of both characters and story or you didn't notice how strange Rusty's actions were.

Another *5 for this chapter. I love your story and your detail. It's a very plausible story for the time and place. I hate that you had to make Ruthanne a whore, but I guess it's needed to advance the story. It also gives Russ more incentive to get her and his daughter away from Boyd. You tell a great story and I look forward to your cleaning this up.

Gave it 3 stars strictly because of the clueless move of telling her all about the upcoming police action. Maybe just taking out a full page add in the local newspaper would have been an easier way of letting everyone in town know about the operation about to take place. Probably those weird eyes don't let him see things too straight.

That was a very good series. I enjoyed the read and it kept my attention. Thanks for writing it.

Okay, sure the instant love and all is pretty improbable, but the story is entertaining and that’s what counts. Glad he still wants her after her descent into slutdom.

His heart "LITERALLY" broke?

If old yes

Young bounce back. Served under Gunner (WO 4)

36 years in I see USMC. Firmly believe he could still have done course and complained not tough enough

Wow, great story from a very good writer. Thanks for this one, can't wait for more!

Hard premise to buy that getting raped turns you into a slut. Nit great storytelling. Excellent at keeping the suspense

You have a decent plot but you are developing that way too slow and since you have some sort of "story noir" here where all the characters are grey it is hard to identify with any of them. Basically you are testing the patience of a reader since you are not offering anything but a lot of repetitions and perfunctory paragraphs.

Not a bad story, just way too slow and unexciting.

Tons of pointless meandering backfill. This is going nowhere except a possible marriage to his one truelove, the county whore??? Just grab your fuckin kid and bail. Pointless. No stars.

Why did he tell her what was about to go down,?With her mind set she could let the cat out of the bag.

I can't wait reading the next chapter.

way too long but I will read on in hope that Boyd dies very slowly after 2-3 weeks of constant beatings. somewhat quicker for his 3 amigos.

Bloated with too much gee-whiz Army strong BS.