All Comments on 'Karma Killer'

Love is being more concerned for the welfare of someone or something than for yourself.

I liked it; but it was heartbreaking. I’m not a BTB fan or a RACC; but I do recognize people are human and we make dumb choices. If we’re lucky, we get a second chance to fix them but not always.

Thanks for sharing...

I digress, despite the theme, this tale is quite unique. Intelligent dialogue with a provocative afterthoughts . What more can we wish for? 5*

Far far too long. Started skipping midway through.

Good premise but imo you could have told the story in 3 pages.

A strong story and very emotional read. It shows you can know someone, but in reality, not know them at all. You have a gift to write a story of that quality.

I'm glad you post new stories, I really enjoy yours, some are definitely among my favorites.

I also want to appreciate the Ollie background, it's good that you took an effort to develop the troubled man character here. A rare thing

Someone that depressed would not have chosen life or the after life; given ANY choice on what happened next they would choose being unmade, erased, utter oblivion

5* Very philosophical, very introverted, very very good.

Wow! Thats one helluva of a story Jezzaz. Great dialogue you created btwn Oliver & Ruby. The way you conveyed Oliver’s feelings about his life and put it to prose that one can relate to. Well done & thanks! 5*

So glad you are still around and writing. Fascinating story, if a bit dark.

Please, please finish Ryan's story. The Game series were so good, but unfinished, and I want so badly for Ryan to get his happy ending.

Great story/concept 4*. But for me it was way too long. I found myself just skimming over sections because they just seemed repetitive. Could have been a 5*

Wow. Truly horrible in a hard to read way. I always like what you write this is no different. I think that you achieved what most writers strive for, to really touch the reader. That said I probably won’t read this a second time. Thank you though for this and the rest of your stories.

I liked it. No, I loved it... Until the end.

Very daring. Very risky. Very well done. A great work.

But for the end.

Thank you.

There is surely a problem with the doses of your medication.

I would advise you to return urgently to see your doctor.

I didn't quite understand the story.

From which line or page, one can start having an erection?

Someone who has that much light and love COULD NOT betray their spouse. It just wouldn’t be possible. Since she did betray him, she didn’t love him, and wasn’t full of light.

Adultery is the next worse thing to murder. You don’t go from being a basically good person to destroying your marriage overnight. She allowed herself to be corrupted over time.

In the waiting room of the afterlife, she would have appeared as diseased, and full of darkness. If she already had a taste of Hell, and was allowed to warn him, that would be one thing. But only ONE could share light and love with him, and it wasn’t her!

ZK

It was way too long and a slog to read.

I'm giving this 5*, but you really lost me at the end. The depression was what made Oliver Oliver. With that gone, he was someone else. An amalgamation of (what I'm guessing is) the best of Oliver and the best of Ruby. I'm fine with supernatural elements in stories, and see a bit of the parallels with What Dreams May Come, but the resolution (to me) negated three pages of Oliver's suffering. Now he's whistling and thanking the woman that proved his inner demons were correct? And suddenly deciding to put in more effort with his siblings that (from what I could tell) put in no effort with him? "You were the mistake baby. Aha!" Yeah, I'd really want to reconnect with that kind of person.

Ruby wasn't a truly loving wife, willing to take away her husband's pain. She was a woman that had sinned horribly, and was serving her penance. Sure, suicide is a one-way trip to Hell (in Abrahamic religions), and sacrificing yourself for another earns you a ticket through the Pearly Gates. What she did, taking his BAD and replacing it with her GOOD just feels like a massive cop-out. She deserves neither forgiveness nor absolution.

I like the story, it's highly... what? Unusual? Yes. Moving? Also, yes.

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But, I must say, there's one incongruency that tripped me up for a while when I saw it.

In several preceding instances in the story, Ruby made a big deal about truth, insisting that, wherever it was that they were, "You can't lie here... "

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Then, much deeper into the story, there comes her statement:

"Olly... I am sorrier than it is possible to be."

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Wait... What?

It's difficult for me to imagine one simple sentence that would more clearly be a lie, aside from whether or not she actually was sorry! Its built-in contradiction (figuratively) smacks the reader right between the eyes! Seeing these words stopped me dead (pun intended) for a few moments, while I pondered her words, and their impact on the story.

These few words were an unfortunate choice by the author! Their inherent literal 'falseness' is damaging to the story's (crucial?) premise that everything spoken in this particular conversation between the two was absolute truth.

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Otherwise, the story was quite interesting, even riveting, and very well done!

Goddamn! Another five-star masterpiece from one of the absolutely finest writers on Lit. Peer of BlackRandI1958, carvohi, dtiverson, javmor79, RichardGerald, and such long-gone masters as DanielQSteele1, Jidoka and Rheinquist. Surely I've forgotten a couple here, but QuickMagazine isn't perfect. Unlike this truly moving story. Which even passes the credibility test since it's Oliver's subconscious doing all the work, even if his narrow escape was a firearm malfunction rather than conscious choice. While I doubt that jezzaz will follow this up with a story of what post-Ruby Oliver's life becomes, it sure would be interesting. However, I'm still waiting for Ryan ("Live From The Game" and "Long After The Game") to find the love he deserves. So any self-sequel work should start there, if this reader has any say in it.

Wow! Your last two stories have some real darkness in them. As someone who's been married to a woman with clinical depression for more than 40 years, your description of depression in this story have helped me understand her a little better. Well done! Obviously well-researched. Sorry life has been kinda tough for you lately and not given you time to write but welcome back!

Ow I’m depressed!

You truly are one of my favorite writers, not just on literotica but of all time. Something about your works carry so much depth and emotion but this one by far has to be the most visceral one to date. I am in tears and in pain and have to hope you're doing well and if not hope so. Your character, Ollie, has such a relateability to me that is terrifying and to get an ending as full of life and hope as it did is reassuring in the most positive way. Thank you so much for this wonderful work.

WOW! You are an amazing writer. What a unique story - i’ve been reading Loving Wives stories for years and this takes the cake. Bravo

Brilliant

In my opinion Ruby's actions and explanation are incompatible with your resolution.

You portrayed Ruby as having tremendous love, devotion and respect for Olly but her actions indicate otherwise. One does not respect their spouse and take a week-long holiday fucking someone else nonstop. Ruby might love her husband but respect? I don't think so. Not in this reality and not even in a fictional one. You seem to recognize this through Olly's questions and yet you proceeded with the ending.

Ruby can't possibly feel that strongly about Olly.

By your own words she never even thought about him at all when she chose her vacation or during. I can give you one example of where this fails spectacularly.

Women typically remove their rings when we wash or go to sleep. Some keep them on largely all the time. Either way, a wife that devoted wouldn't be able to completely ignore their husband and the crushing guilt. Even if Ruby left her rings off so as not to be reminded, their absence during times when she WOULD remove them would serve as big of a reminder than if they were present. Yet, you set the plot rule that no one can lie. Therefore, she told the truth. She gave no single thought for Olly during her fuck fest. If she felt as strongly devoted to her husband as the resolution suggests, she would have.

So, while I found Olly's portrayal as a man suffering from profound depression, low self worth and despair resulting from severe neglect and emotional abuse as a child to be particularly expert, it alone could not save the story from inconsistency between Ruby's character development and the plot.

Well there is 45 minutes I’ll never get back. Interesting and at same time with NO redeeming quality(ies). This author usually does SO much better.

Way too wordy and annoying. Could only read page 1 then last page. Boring as hell.

5 loved but also hated parts of this story. Probably because I have a little Oliver in me. I will hold on to the idea that Ruby is still whole inside of Oliver and will someday be free.

Well we don't really know what she gave up to give to him do we? She might have been headed to eternal hell.

First paragraph threw me out of the story... Glock 20... is a 10mm. The slide moves back, there is no stock. There is no hammer, there is a striker. I'll give you shell but cartridge would be more precise. Sorry to be pedantic, just threw me completely out of the story before it started.

A WASTE OF TIME from a formerly acceptable author....

While the story may not be autobiographical in any way, the author clearly has some familiarity with depression. Nobody knows what is really going on inside our heads; what our internal discussions sound like or why we make the decisions we do. Interesting angle for a cheating wife story.

Hey, just thought I'd mention this; it was not my intention to run into the Invitational event on LitErotica this week. It is complete coincidence that this story was published on this day. It should actually have been the day before, but I accidentally uploaded a version that still had editor comments in it, and the Lit Moderators caught it and asked me to re-upload it.

The fact that the content could be considered in line with the Invitational thesis was also a weird coincidence.

There's nothing as weird as the Truth.

Yes, Ryans ending is coming. I'm elbow deep in it now, had another idea to add to it today in fact.

So very talented! Unique and thought provoking. Thank you!

One inconsistency: Ruby says the affair went on for six weeks, but tries to pass off the week in Madison as a spur-of-the-moment one-off. I would have fixed that, and condensed Oliver's navel-gazing.

The question which should occur to Oliver at the end (since we're believing impossible things, as the red queen would say) is this: If it were possible to go back before Ruby cheated and have it not happen, would he choose that? Or would he choose his new life without her?

Gripping and dark. 5 stars. Don’t understand affair(s?) in light of the passionate love she felt. And covered in hickeys at the end of the week? How would she have explained?

A glock 20 is a 10mm pistol

Just incredible. Totally original and I had no idea how it was going to finish. I did struggle with the dialogue at times, and felt the depressive monologue went on far too long, but I kept with it and was really worth the long haul. The depressive monologe was an important piece of context that had to be said. I can see that this plot is going to be staying with me for a few days, which is the mark of an excellent story. I might even come back and read it again. Thank you so much. 5-stars.

Too painful for me - too close to reality! But it was an amazing story and really doesn't fit normal categories of Literotica. However, everyone should read this story and understand there are millions of men in the world who live in this black/white, right/wrong, personal sense of the right way to behave and it often cripples them, especially in social environments. Thank you for writing this even if I did have tears in my eyes through most of the story

I loved the story. So deep and self-analytical for me. It was cathartic but also emotional and tragic for me. I am 90% Oliver. I felt his tears, his pain, and mine too. But unfortunately I've never found that real love. I just keep functioning. I'm glad Oliver found his way back from the darkness.

Squaring the circle. You juggled with words and drew and erased feelings and yet you tried to make it clear to us that nothing justifies suicide and everything just needs love to work! Excellently done and yet for me it remains the squaring of the circle! 5*!

Possibly the best thing I've read in the past few months. Not, as you warn us, a happy story but i actually enjoyed the journey this one took us on. Definitely a heavy read, but a very good one. Thanks.

That Was Freaking Excellent!

This is my punishment. I have to sit here and listen to this whore yap.

Very interesting and well-written story.

I'll admit to being conflicted. I find Ruby's actions and her selfless act to be greatly at odds and difficult to reconcile. Can the unforgivable be redeemed? I'm not sure.

Definitely a 6! I had a nice review and praise all written out as anonymous and when I signed it, it disappeared. So well written and descriptive of myself in many ways. AimsAtSkies called it right: visceral. Hits you right in the gut! Well done and please keep up the good work.

Wow! Powerful! Deep. It certainly made me reflect. I truly appreciate good writing that draws you in, keeps you reading, and can't put down. Outstanding! But, also... Thank You.

yuck

Awesome story. 5 stars.

Brings to mind the lyrics from Paul Simon’s ‘Slip Slidin Away’:

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I know a man

He came from my home town

He wore his passion for his woman

Like a thorny crown

He said Delores

I live in fear

My love for you's so overpowering

I'm afraid that I will disappear

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What a horrible state in which Oliver exists. What a burden he suffers, and by implication, does Ruby unwittingly also bare.

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A profoundly affecting piece of storytelling. I’ll reread ‘Karma Killer’ later, and consider it again for quite a while. Touché. A very fine piece of writing. Thank you.

Very inventive.

A unique premise, thought provoking and expertly crafted. The dialog (both internal and between the couple) was absolutely compelling.

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Oh, and the reason his gun misfired? The Glock 20 is a 10mm, not .45. :-) /sbrooks

Dark but good!

5

By God, man! You’ve really nailed the horror of living with the void. By the time I reached the last page I was stripped raw. You’d given voice to those lifelong demons and made sense of them.

I’m glad Oliver found his light within himself - that’s where it has to come from (even if here it’s in the guise of Ruby) - and hope that he, and any readers with whom this story particularly resonates, gets to hold on to that. It is a never-ending battle. Much as we hope, the void never truly departs and will take root again in the faintest of cracks.

Thank you for this reminder that there is hope.

Holy shit - powerful! 5*

How to react? Possibly a couple of re-reads could do the trick!

I am definitely not going to let the routine but brief 'loving wife' dialogues overshadow the deep mental anguish Jezzaz was able to project. The smalls and capitals were thought provoking.

It would take some time to process.

I was a bit confused regarding the number of siblings. 5 or 6?

5.

Hmmm, hard to come to a score for this, but it doesnt really matter. What does is that your effort to convey depression, and pure love (and the peace it brings) was well done. A little wordy in the middle, a bit boggy, but slogging thru to last page was worth it.

Great take on this. People quite often have the imposter syndrome, and we all function nonetheless. I would hope that Ruby gets a reward, since clearly she was there for a purpose. We all match in different ways: the cold analytical types with the bright bubbly rays of sunshine balancing it all out, if we are lucky. Ruby’s explanation for her tryst is on the mark: often it is not a conscious betrayal, but nothing more than a spontaneous “what the heck” action. So many stories have the lame “it meant nothing” explanation, shot to pieces by the betrayed spouse. People are complicated and almost never make even big momentous choices with perfect self reflection.

For future reference - The Glock 21, Glock 30, Glock 36, and Glock 41 are the major variants that are chambered for the .45 ACP.

Powerful, original story that got me quite emotional, despite not initially identifying with either character. 5 stars!

Well that's bull shit-

Women don't do a thing without planing.

So when they are cheating, it is always a deliberate act

I like this author a lot, but I skimmed probably 80% of this story

Love story? with too much gobble gook.

This story literally gave me a headache. 2 pages of solo dialogue.

The theme and the message was powerful. I suspect that any reader who had any similarities to Olly would be drawn in. The details about the pistol were messed up. If the reader could ignore those details because they weren’t necessary to the story,this was a good story.

From the comments below, I guess you're not a gun guy. It's ok! The story isn't about Glock handguns. It's deeply engrossing and unique interaction with a deceased spouse who cheated. Hugely creative! So is Ruby inside him and still able to communicate in some way? I'm picturing this scenario with her cheating partner sitting in for at least part of the conversation. No idea where that would go!

Good idea!!

Interesting story, I finished it....but the writer Jezzaz is out of practice, lost your writer's edge.

Gave you 3 ⭐️s.

Thanks for the effort, I'm

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AMerryman

Mate you had me crying at the end. Good story.

Wow. I don't know if I like it and it is awfully verbose in Oliver's long explanation of his internal depression, but still amazingly creative. 5*****

Sometimes I wish I weren't "that guy" but I am. It's a 10mm not a .45. You obviously worked hard on this story and it shows. I'm a Jezzaz fan, just not a fan of this story. Catch you next time.

Anyone capable of that level f love wouldnt be capable of cheating in the first place

Strange one.

The time now being close to Christmas,

why not make Santa Claus arrange their meeting?

Oh well, a chance missed there.

The plot didn't do much for me.

Too down to earth.

But what stands out for me

is a pretty impressive description of depression.

Thankfully I'm not an expert on the subject,

but I've known people with such a problem.

It looks like the writer knows such people too.

The writing about it was very powerful!

And earns 4 out of 5 from me.

very creative. what a change from the usual here. 5

I don't usually like stories with suicide in them. I've known and seen the aftermath it causes to the ones left behind. This was different because it dealt with the split seconds before the end and the backing away from the eternal end, the final act. I have often wondered what their final thoughts were. It was hard to read because of my feelings about suicide. I gave it 4-stars.

Very interesting. When I was 13 or 14 years old in a church youth class our minister told us all that the purpose of life was 'to live'. Great story. Interesting perspective.

Some kind powerful. Entrancing story and interesting thought line. She still didn't love him in the way you presented. You just can't do that if you really do love someone. Love doesn't fail, and it doesn't take time outs. Even if no one ever knew, she still made the decision. She was selfish. Really enjoyed it, thanks.

An interesting idea, but bit too much navel gazing for me.

Not autobiographical? I find it hard to believe you could so accurately describe the emptiness I feel, the fundamental knowledge that I don't matter in any way to a universe so vast, without having experienced some part of it yourself. Unfortunately for me, there is no light to fill my void and nothing means enough to me to lead to suicide. I just live my life, moment by moment, in the certainty that I am mortal and my time will end.

Talk about depression... Sheesh!

An amazing piece! The depths you went in describing his depression had to have come from your heart and experiences, whether personal or studied. Definitely pulled on my heartstrings. 10*

Wow you understand.

Great writing.

And you got it right. You can't let people know much, the would dislike you even more.

I thought it was an amazing story. It was so creative and your descriptions of depression were spot on. This will be on of my favorites. I would have given more that 5 stars if I could. It’s so good to have you back writing, you’re one of my writers.

Wowwwww

Masterpiece of creative writing

Something more valuable than the ratings and this forum too...

Story is just the disguise

Thoughts ....deeper, darker and soul searching.... emotional with positive solutions

Rated 5* (forum maxed out)

How did I miss this when it was posted just weeks ago?

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Just an awesome bit of writing. Unlike some commenters, I didn’t think it was too verbose at all. A deep dive into the mental chaos that was Oliver and that produced his almost congenital depression required a thorough examination. Which was the whole point of the plot.

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Very inventive way to get Oliver and Ruby together post infidelity — she’s dead and he’s a millisecond from a self inflicted death himself. Obviously “the greater Power” arranged the meeting. One commenter alluded to “What Dreams May Come” — that analogy fit pretty well.

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I’d like to think that Ruby’s action to “take away” Oliver’s depressive traits was her own path to redemption that “the greater Power” gave her 😎. And obviously, the story ended with Oliver cleansed of his personal demons.

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Easy 5 *****

The cynic in me wants to say that when she poured all that love into Olly it was what she felt for Jason. But I can’t this was too well written to try to denigrate with factious jibes.

A 5* story if ever there was one.

Holy fuck. 5/5. This sums up my life minus the gun. Surreal self reflection

Nato_

Lets be honest, if she really felt that way about him she never could have cheated in the first place

"Well, fairly obviously, I was having an affair. I mean, that much is obvious. It hadn't been going on long. Only six weeks,"

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"He was there, it was offered, I took it. I didn't think about repercussions. We honestly were supposed to be at a course, but it was canceled at the last minute. Jason just said, 'Wanna go and be naughty for a week?' I just said 'Yes'."

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Confused here... six weeks or one week...? Not saying one is any better than the other but "weeks" kind of makes a lie of the "we just decided to fuck for a week", implying the whole *thing* was spontaneous rather than ongoing.

Excellent work. Really getting the self loathing, describes my head.

Glock 20 is a 10 MM, not a .45

Very very good, you describe depression quite well, not in everyone’s experience but in a lot of cases I’m sure, mine included, I rise every day and put a mask on, not a paper or cloth mask but just a good old mask to hide the world from looking or seeing things that would hurt me and them if I let it slip.

I did think you over wrote it somewhat, just to many words saying the same things, but overall I liked it, I liked the plot line it was that bit different,

Too deep or weird for me and I only read page 1, then page 5 to see what happened.

You mentioned this was not biographical, in any way, so where did extensive dialogue about depression and thoughts of suicide come from? It was difficult reading, as attested to by commenter dirtyoldbiman. I feel after reading it I should have done what he did, read the first page and skip to the end. I feel you spent way to much ink and philosophical meanderings of trying to do ????? I don't know. The only thing mildly entertaining was his ethereal visit with his wife while contemplating suicide. I'm afraid the only thing I got out of this story was that I have been mildly depressed my whole life and I'm 80, but, I have never had thoughts of suicide. I guess we were warned in your introduction or disclaimer at the beginning as it were but I was hoping for more.............. Here are a few sentences that just didn't read right: Protective measures were learned and ingrained, to avoid having excruciation

And at their age, I would well understand it.

I once tried to explain it to someone was it like a bridge between peaks and troughs of the waves that are depression.

Long winded way of saying I had put her on a pedestal, and when she fell off it the entire world with her.

I just sat there, miserable as I had ever been, knowing that I this was it.

Came across this one by pure chance.

You surely have talent, extra ordinary insight into matters that affect people living with this condition.

Thank you!

Wow. So far this is the only story in this even that was actually great (among a few tolerable and many bad, even from authors I usually like).

/

First, it's almost impossible to believe in a need for reconciliation, because actions speak louder than words. Cheating is the ultimate trump card, nearly 100% proving by action that the person who claims to love you, truly does NOT, for they chose their benefit over a risk/fact of your pain, unhappiness, and damage. There's nothing a cheater can say that could even remotely disprove the obvious revealed preference that they don't love you. This is why I always harshly judge any kind of reconciliation stories (especially RAAC), because they are evil in their immorality and unethicalness. The author forces the main character to be evilly subjected to the cheater's malign presence. Even if the cheater isn't actively evil, the very fact that the victim is forced to sacrifice being actually loved, for being with someone who proved they don't actually love them, beyond a shadow of a doubt.

/

Except ONE rare exception. When the cheater commit another act, a selfless sacrifice, to prove the opposite. One that has at least as much beneficial magnitude on your side and sacrifice on theirs, as the cheating had.

/

As such, this is one of the very very few stories where the author chose to make this happen, and - even better - made it into entertaining, moving, and interesting and unusual work. Usually it's a more cliched "spouse jumps in front of a bullet to save the cheating victim" - which is a valid case for forgiving a cheater but a bit too predictable and formulaic.

/

As such, I wish I could give this story 5 points. 5 for general quality. 10 for a rare and masterful setting up a believable. moral, ethical and rational forgiveness/reconciliation, where main character clearly benefitted and won by the explicit choice and action of his partner who cheated.

* "give this story 15 points". Wish comments could be edited here.

Oh, one other original thing about this story. Again, unlike the stupid formulaic "oh I love her so much, I can't live without her", the author does build a reasonably believable (especially to people who have similar minds to main character, even a little) valid reason to end their life. Not some mythical "pain from love lost", but an actual reason.

[17.07.23]

To quote one Joey Lawrence - "Woah!"

Intense monologuing and dialoguing, well done!

Some nice humour via Douglas Noel Adams:

[There was an almost companionable silence for a minute or two. I mean, it was an utterly preposterous situation, so why not a companionable silence? In the words of Ford Prefect, "Why not go mad?"]

Some acerbic-ness via Clint Eastwood:

[I shrugged. As Clint Eastwood's character in the 'Unforgiven' movie once said, "Deserve ain't got nothin' to do with it."]

And that ending...holee chit!

As a man who was married to a manic-depressive wife (who died 6 years ago and this being our 32 wedding anniversary) THIS HIT HARD!

The denouement and wrap-up:

[Turning on the radio, it was playing "Sacrifice", but Elton John. I couldn't help but grin at the appropriateness.

"Thank you, Ruby. I'll never forget you", I murmured into the sky as I drove with the windows down, wondering what would come next.]

11/10!!!!!

can't imagine what's its like to be loved by a hoe, i'd prefer a good woman

5 stars.

Nice to read a unique story, rather than the cookie cutter clones spewed out in their hundreds each day.

Well done.

When you say it's not autobiographical, does that mean you actually pulled the trigger????