All Comments on 'Karma Train'

The idea of killing off the one and punishing the other in story after story makes me smile. Thanks for that.

What a great story! The line about the state trooper being shocked when the widower starts celebrating made me laugh.

The reactions from the relatives when he told them about Traci's well-deserved fate were quite interesting. I don't think I've ever seen those kind of conversations covered here, which is odd, because the unfaithful spouse does get bumped off occasionally.

Well constructed and reasonable. Thanks for sharing your work.

The karma train is always on time. Great seeing Traci and Derek getting theirs over and over. Great story,and finally a very good night in LW.

Karma, well that's how it goes

A slut and an asshole

Getting the hose

It started off badly

But it ended great

he relearned about love

and married his date

Writing helped their healing

Isn't that insane?

Recovering from their fails on the Karma Train

Recovering from their fails on the Karma Train

With apologies to Ozzy Osbourne :P

I'm usually an Ass in my comments , but I honestly think you've boiled down the essence of why we diehard readers in LW who are of the BTB persuasion enjoy stories where the good guy comes out OK , and the Asswipes get theirs .

*****

P.S. your good friend HDK will now disavow you because you kept killing Derick and Traci off !

I hope you did it at least once with a pickaxe handle !

( hehehe , guess I couldn't get thru a comment without the Ass making a cameo )

Marrying the wife of the man who's cheating with your wife is an old cliché, but your story sold it; totally seemed possible... considering this is all fiction. Fun story. Thanks for posting.

He’s a petty, small minded, vengeful person. He wife cheated on him, that doesn’t make him a god guy. It doesn’t make him sympathetic. It doesn’t make him anything. It’s his actions that count.

I get anger. I get grief. I don’t get revenge. It takes up to much of your life to be that angry all the time and it damages you.

I read that war doesn’t refine character, it reveals it: and what did discovery of the affair do? If actions speak louder than words, then what does his subsequent actions say about him?

How could you keep killing that poor big dicked bastard off in every book? I must disavow out friendship and ban your writing from the entire worldwide web!

Seriously, I enjoyed the story. My problem would have been feeling quite insecure doing the deed with Derek's wife after seeing the size of the salami he was packing and using so effectively. This was a great start to 2020!

Current reigning champ of the LW section. Your writing keeps getting better as does your story lines.

After yesterday's debacle of total crap, this makes up for it and then some.

Great tale, well thought out without being wordy, and the karmic justice is overwhelmingly good.

5/5

One of the best stories for a long time...And it's good to read it in the very beginning of the new year...HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL...4*

Oprah Winfrey would never have approved of a writer who wrote about revenge on a cheating wife and the death of her lover! She’d instead have a show telling America what a little boy the cheated on husband was, how immaturely he acted.

Instant Karma! Nice! Anya thinks him small in every way. How about now? Thank you for your story. The good guy wins!

Minor point: "We had a terse discussion about her behavior" - What about her behavior? Nothing was said beyond her co-workers disdain, and her starting to agree.

Why move into a shitty one-bedroom apartment? Why not a nice condo? It doesn't have to be a high-end place, but with almost $5 million renting a "shitty one-bedroom apartment" makes no sense.

I was going to ask why didn't he try writing!

My kind of story.

Great job, Hooked. 1957 must have been a good year for writers! Good guy wins, bad people gt theirs, what's not to like. The conversation with the cop was priceless. And the breaking of the news to the families and the followup with the sister was well crafted. Thanks for an enjoyable read to start the new year. Oh, 5 stars, of course.

2020 is off to a good start. Thanks. 5*

Well crafted story. Good job of creating characters who were the epitome of who they were supposed to be.

Thanks for writing, Mr. 1957. More, please. Randi.

@MollydaKat: You're an embarrassment. If I ever wrote a story you enjoyed, I would be ashamed for your comment to be on it. That would be an instant delete, and I'd just have to hope no one noticed.

and this shows how thew process works.

Good job!

... ♪ When you mess with us ♫

Can't help it: every time I read a story with "Karma" in its title, I got to put some Radiohead as background music. Hell, playing "Creep" while reading some LW stories is also never a bad idea!

Although, I wouldn't mind hearing a live version of Anon's "Karma Train" - nice job on this one, buddy!

In any case, this is a prime example as to why BTB tales are always more popular in this genre than the rest of what is offered in it: it's cathartic... and a lot of fun! Sure, we all saw the happy ending a mile away (only shocking thing out of the whole story was how quickly this Traci was disposed of), but who could possibly have a problem with the MC getting his 'happily ever after'? In real life, the good guys lose more often than they win... so might as well give them their deserved share of victories in fiction.

Pretty much since your first story, Hooked1957, you became one of my favorite writers. So 'very glad to see you'll still share your Traci tales with us during this new year/decade. I'm quite thankful for that.

This story's start was cliche, but took off nicely in new directions. Well done.

5* from me.

Having them die by getting ran over by a big truck seemed pretty harsh. Finding a degree of satisfaction from writing is believable. Marrying the beautiful wife of the asshole is a reach, but why not. Thanks for submitting it was great.

Ellie was shallow enough to marry Derek in the first place. Will she ever be satisfied with "little" Tillerson, or is her motivation all about the money. I don't see balanced karma here.

I asked you in the comments section of another story of yours why all of your LWs were "Traci" and that I hoped you were getting her out of your system. Welp, I'm glad your karma ran over her dogma and that you continue to get revenge on not only her, but Anya as well (You know Anya had a full set of the books as well, not that she'd admit it ).

This was fun and a nice tip of the cap to your whole set of stories. Please keep punishing Traci, these are too enjoyable to stop.

I get so sick of Loving Wife story about men sharing their wives or enjoy being cuckolds that reading this story lifts my spirit to know that there are still good writers on Literotica. Thanks for such a good well rounded story.

Made me smile!

Loved them getting crushed by the semi, karma is a bitch.

His instant success as an author strains credibility, but nonetheless an enjoyable, 5 star story.

I love a good payback story and the payback came early. I would have liked more interaction between the inlaws but still loved the story.

He married a shallow selfish arrogant whore, so what did he expect? She knew what he did for a living, could have discussed her dissatisfaction, but apparently lacked the ethics and self respect to just be open and honest about her basic lack of morals and integrity. Guess that explains the cheating.

And what's the second thing he does after he finds out? Goes gets drunk. His dead wife and sister in law were right, he is a loser. It took his wife fucking around then getting killed to make him a success, so I guess she ended up being the only reason he was successful. I wondered if he ever realized what he owed the whore and her asshole lover? Not to mention some inept truck driver.

Nice fantasy of dumb shit ending up the winner. But I think its been done.

Thanks for your version.

I drive a truck, why do we always get blamed for vehicular deaths, 95% of the time it's the Four wheeler's ( cars & pick up trucks ) fault, well at least you did make the scum bag a black male, thanks. It was a pretty harsh way to die ( road kill ), nice that the injured parties found happiness, and big bucks!

Because it's part of the "karma" thing. Derek "took" his wife (regardless if she died or not), so he takes Derek's wife (regardless if Derek died or not).

4-stars

Nice story.

Years ago, a beautiful coworker passed after an accident. She was on her husband's motorcycle at the time, but the jealous bitches at work said it was with a boyfriend. I thought it was cold. But then, women.

Nice job, and thank you, sincerely!

If any thing could be said, I feel that there was almost a pacing issue. I think with this plot idea, there was a lot that could have been done with this. Easily, this could have been a very long, multi chapter epic. There was almost a bottomless well here to create a whole universe of story ideas, where fiction overlaps, or mirrors, or is just plain opposite from his "reality". The decision to keep this only to two pages? Actually, that just might have been for the best, or at least a very correct move on your part. But when you get to the point of saying, ok...we are just keeping this thing to two pages? The actual result here seemed very rushed at times. Certain things hit the mark, where other things were rushed or glossed over. Perhaps a desire to leave the reader wanting more IS a desirable response achieved, however, a take away feeling that something was missing or incomplete probably isn't as an effective of an execution as you were shooting for.

Hell, make no mistake though. This WAS very good, and I really liked it. Not that you shouldn't be proud of this effort. However, if you were seeking a view leaning towards improvement? Address pacing vs. plotting in the future. Even so, I am also keenly aware of how much improvement you have shown here in the last year or so. Rest assured that you are absolutely on the right track! Thank you very much, and have a great day!

Five Stars!

Very cleverly written

5*

So he finally moved on from his dead wife who had cheated on him with the dude with a 4 inch longer shlong than him and ends up marrying the chick who spent years getting used to fucking that guy? Seems like a stretch. Wait, the opposite. It was a fun story, all in all.

...5 stars. Thanx for a great start to 2020...

Loklie

How did his mind handle the 10 inch dick dereck used on his wife when it came time to fuck derricks wife?

You've actually written several stories that I've enjoyed .

I was being as self deprecating as I could , not a strength .

I know you idolize HDK , hell , I like most of his stories . But he does go out of his way sometimes to throw shade at other writers here over their plots , I'm not the only one who notices this .

So , if the very tiny ( for me ) jab that I threw with a small grin , made you that mad , then don't worry Lady , I'll never comment on your works . ( might with one of my other alts tho , hehehe )

You need to get a thicker skin , Jeez . A wee bit of sniping & trolling is good for you . But I bet you have more alts than I for those purposes , Gasps .

The Karma TRUCK was an AWESOME idea!!! I despise cheaters and those who cover for them. Sometimes death is too good for cheaters...

A good entertaining read!

You summed up hundreds of thousands of pages for the raison d'etre of Lit's LW section.

Good story, I liked it. It did give me a laugh or two. I don't know if you actually meant to write the humor in it. But it worked for me.

Thanks for sharing

The cheaters being visited by karma and the unsuccessful newspaper writer becoming an author of fiction inspired by the experience was more fun than the demise of two should be!!! 5* for sure.

Virtually all the sensitive nerve ending, in a vagina, are located near the entrance. Length doesn’t matter nearly as much as girth.

So the author of umpteen stories about a cheating wife named Traci writes an autobiographical story explaining why AND uses half of the story to tell us all how good he is as a writer. Except it's written as if about another person, adding an additional layer of obfuscation.

Then, he even goes so far as to create an off-screen expert in human behavior declare him a genius.

It came across as ego-stroking, self-aggrandizing, and boasting masquerading as a cheating wife story.

5*

KB

I liked the opening hook of Simon's glee at the gory demise of his cheating wife and her lover, but his aw-shucks suddenly-I'm-a-brillant-millionaire-author-draped-in-babes thing soured it for me. Oh brother. It was piled on way too high and deep.

Throw in a couple of exhausted LW tropes like our hero recovering his manhood by banging his rival's wife and you lost me.

Thanks for posting here though. I'm usually a fan. HNY.

Enjoyable yarn.

Was it karma train, or karma truck?

I detected the direction that the story was going quickly and was going to complain about boiler plates. But then I observed that I really enjoyed it.

To get Traci's sisters take on him no longer being small time. He should have shown a magnanimous nature to her parents as they seemed to have parted ways on good terms. But the bitch sister gets nothing but a wish for her to kiss his ass.

Never mind just the devil collecting his due

Hot damn loved it

Far fetched with writing fortune but who gives a shit

Cheaters caught and slightly dented oops more than slightly better

If he hooked up with BIG Dick Dereks widow; isn't he worried about her not enjoying a normal sized dick?? I would be looking for either virgins or women that only had small dicked boyfriends!!! Pre- nups would be an absolute must!!!

You're a good writer and tell a good story.

Keep it up.

karma is a very vengeful bitch

Got interested again and couldn't stop reading this very satisfying story.

I enjoyed that story, that this guy's hated of the cheaters led to his success in life. Marrying the Harvard's widow didn't hurt either.

My Ex should have been with them .. And No I would not have made it to her Funeral

Nice simple plot with a karma core, excellent writing and good character development - some you can like, some you can hate. Good guys win, bad guys lose. Makes a great short story combination. Keep 'em comin'!

So, there I was I going right along with the story, immersed in it when the line comes up “...we met at a major Midwest University...”!!! Really, is it supposed to be some big freaking secret what university they met. Seriously, you put all this creativity And effort into writing the story but you can’t pick one university out of the thousands of school located in the “Midwest” to give this little piece of the story credibility. Hell, make up one ...”Paxton College” or “Lincoln State University”. Something, anything! There’s nothing like a generic statement like that to take me right out of the story.

Hmmm, the former Mrs biggs gets direct and cosy after $10m is mentioned. Just saying.

Nice to have plausible deniability of "feelings" and "attraction" etc, especially since not really well cultivated to be of consequence.

Money says "open sesame" to crossed legs, magic words for spreading like peanut butter lol.

Good story. I kept waiting for Traci’s sister to reappear, and see the small man writing small stories for a small paper... evolved into a successful novelist.

Enjoyed the journey. Well told. Keep it up.

I was happy to see that both scumbags got what they deserved. I wish that you had spent some time on his fortune/fame as a revenge factor to his ex sister in law for calling him small and petty.

Loved it. Especially when he bought the bar a round.

Enjoy

Repeat. Round of drinks

Great work as always - minor omission was what happened to Rachel at the restaurant?

Good story,always like it when both cheaters get hurt.Would have liked him to ring his sister in law when he had news of his book being made into a film and ask her who was small time now and also rub his wealth in her face.

Love the karma and he should have called his ex sister in law after his successful writing career. What do you suppose she's doing now? Following in her sister's footsteps??

Reading again. The bitch and asshole who cheated on me didn't die, but every time I see them , from afar, now I believe in Karma. I thank God that I don't have their lives, and for letting me help put them there.

But the sister should have suffered, too. Other than that, swell.

He should have boxed up his 5 or 6 books and sent them to the sister with a note saying " Now that I am free of the cheating bitch I no longer have to write small stories for a small paper and my bank account isn't small either." Thanks for the entertainment. FIVE*****

Vanilla is the most popular flavor for a reason. Good on it's own but add some toppings and presto change-o, now it's special.

Authors, Hooked has shown you the path.

I enjoyed the story of course and even the comments are good for a change (the snipes must not have found it yet). Thank you Hooked, 5 stars.

Is usually a lazy bitch, but sometimes she gets up and does her job, and when she does, oh boy, she does.

I just don't see a man walking into the room where his wife is fucking another man, saying a couple sad little lines... and then leaving to go pout.

GOOD STORY! The whore and her master got theirs and the love their victims found was their payback!

The last page made it for me thank you

GOOD STORY! The whore and the shithead got theirs and the love their amazing spouses found was their payback!

Really? He didn't know why she was cheating? Why would the lover mention it unless she told him. And how would her sister know he had a small cock unless his wife told him?Six inches is small, there's nothing normal about it.

Beautiful ending! Bravo!

Burn the coal , pay the toll

ANOTHER LOSER CRYBABY WIMP HUSBAND FROM A TRASH WYITER

He wrote about the cheating pair, i mean how long can he go about it and still interest people about?

I liked that.

4/5

Betrayal & Retribution

A life lived better than earlier.

Karma !

Widowedidiot, well, odds are about 80 to 20 on you having a small cock pardner

Well done, enjoyed the way the end was constructed.

Im not usually a fan of the cheaters dying, but in this case it worked out ok.

Whata ya mean 6” is small? 6” is BIG. Just ask my wife.

I like happy endings because I always identifiy with the underdog.

fucking idiotic myth that a big dick equates to great sex for every and all women, so tiresome and formulaic.

Loved it! Great advice for those feeling helpless and hopeless. I just can't get this image out of my head of a man and a woman laughing in a red convertible Beamer getting flattened in an intersection by a fully loaded Peterbilt and trailer under full power. "What was that Harold? Ahhh... speed bump, I think. You know I can't concentrate on my driving when you're blowing me, Alice." Thanks for the entertainment.

Read several times now but first time commenting. This is fiction written in the author's universe. So why do so many feel compelled say it doesn't seem real! Really do they not get the concept of fiction. I love this story, especially his reaction to the news his wife died in an acident🤣. The only button that was not pushed by this story was Anya not being made aware of his success. He sacrifices his career for he then gets denegrated for it, what a bitch. But all well that ends well...I'm sure that karma train is coming back for Anya😆😜👍

When my husband caught us in our bed, he started beating the bottom of my lovers feet with a small wooden ball bat we kept in our room, after 3 years he can barely walk. I went out the window to get away once i saw the look on his face, i fell off the low roof onto cement stairs breaking my thigh and pelvis, He called for two ambulances and thats the last time i ever talked to him in person. God Pat, I'm so sorry. This is a good story, emotions are presented well and the hate too. The loss is incredable and so hard to live with.

Great story, I love it. AAAAAA+++++

The part where he shouted “Fuck me!" I yelled. "Drinks are on me! There is a God in heaven!”

I literally busted a gut laughing.