Kat, Full Novel

Her Mistress chuckled. "C'mere you," she said, squeezing Kat tighter. Kat grunted, but went limp, letting her Mistress embrace her.

"Mistress?" Kat asked, looking away. She looked around the room, her eyes landing on the picture of Sarah on the dresser, which had moved since she'd last seen it. "I..."

"Yes?"

"Where is Sarah?"

Her Mistress seemed to pause at that, then raised her head and looked at Kat. "Not here, sweetie," she said, her expression unreadable.

Kat rolled to face her Mistress. Being this close made her want to squirm away, but she stiffened and held it back. "What does that mean, Mistress? Cobb says the same thing."

Her Mistress simply smiled at her, but Kat thought it seemed just a bit forced. "It means she's not here. You shouldn't go around asking about her. That's rude."

Rude? Kat furrowed her eyebrows and looked away. It hardly seemed rude. "Yes, Mistress. I'm sorry."

Mistress Alexa laid back down and cuddled up to Kat. "Don't worry kitty. Everything is okay."

Everything?

It didn't seem that way. But she kept that thought to herself.

Gardening was almost becoming a hobby for her. There was always something to do in the garden, always weeds that needed pulling, plants that needed watering, seedlings that needed repotting. She was really coming around to it. The green, verdant garden, once a palace of weeds and wilted plants, was really starting to thrive thanks to her and Cobb. It was peaceful, here. It soothed her.

Still, last night floated through her mind. The crying, gentle and soft, and the way her Mistress had taken her in, and the way she'd not scolded Kat, and the way she refused to answer Kat's question, it just all made no sense. These thoughts buzzed around her like flies, and she wished she could swat them away. But they would not leave her.

Even more concerning still were her own feelings. She wanted to check on her Mistress, to see how she was doing, to see if she needed anything, emotionally or otherwise. That was wrong. It meant she was starting to care. Which meant that one day she would hurt even worse. The day the pain came.

And yet these thoughts remained, these feelings of concern. The urges to run to her Mistress, to tell her that she knew something was wrong. Kat wanted to tell her that she wanted to help. That she cared, too. Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. She shook her head and shuddered, trying to shake the feelings from her, but they wouldn't go.

Something in her heart felt differently than before. She focused more intently on her gardening, trying to push the feelings down. Once she was done, she could go inside and play with her pastels. When she was doing that, she wasn't thinking. She was creating. And even though, so far, all of her pastel creations were dark in nature, it was proving to be a good outlet for her. She didn't need to think so hard when she was creating. And when she didn't think, she was alright. It was the thinking that killed her.

Just then, she felt a hand on her shoulder, as she was hunched over pulling out crabgrass from the garden soil. She nearly jumped, just managing to still her heart for a moment to turn around and see who it was. It was Cobb, his gloved hand giving her shoulder a little squeeze as he smiled down at her.

"Good afternoon, Kat," he said, letting go of her and stepping back. She turned and stood to face him.

"Cobb," she said, dusting herself off. "I... I've done some thinking. I actually wanted to talk to you."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Conveniently, I too have done some thinking and wish the same. Speak."

She swallowed. "I... just don't get it. Do you... I mean, do you worry about her? Do you want to check up on her? Is that what it means to care for her?"

He seemed to think for a moment, stroking his chin, before chuckling and shaking his head. "There's more to love than that, girl. But it is a good place to start. And to answer your question, yes, I do."

"Why?" she asked. "That's just part of loving her, I suppose, but why do you love her?"

A darker expression passed over his face for a moment, before it passed in a blink of an eye. "The Madam is something else, Kat. Someone worth love. She is impressive, impeccably timed, and extraordinarily hard working. You would do well to remember that she is a person of depth and grace."

Kat's eyes fell downward. "I see."

He grinned. "And you. I wanted to talk to you."

"Oh?" She turned up to face him, carefully looking him in his steel eyes.

"You're doing well Kat. The Mistress and I both approve."

She felt a blush rising in her cheeks. "What?"

"We've noticed how you've started to get a little more comfortable here. You're starting to trust, Kat," Cobb said, folding his hands behind his back. "You work hard and you're starting to be more vulnerable. Friendly, even."

He laughed. "It's a good sight to see. Your Mistress approves. She cares about you Kat. She wants to see you thrive here. As do I, for that matter. Your wellbeing is important here, regardless of what you might think. And as for why I love the Madam, my reasons are my own. You must find yours. And you will."

"But," he said, "Do not run from them. Lest you run too far. Be careful, Kat."

With that, he turned and started walking away. She watched him go back into the house, wordlessly, a strange anger rising in her. This wasn't supposed to be how it went. She wasn't supposed to trust her Owner. She wasn't supposed to be cared for. It all felt like a lie. She grimaced, thinking.

Her own reasons? She had none, she thought. But that felt like a lie too. Shaking her head, she sighed, and, internally, put her foot down. It was time. "I'll show you who she really is," she muttered, less to Cobb and more to herself. "I'll show you."

Kat, Chapter Ten

Kat set her pastels down and sighed. The rains had started up again, and this time, they were in full force. Thunder boomed in the distance, and every so often, a flash of lightning would illuminate her room. She examined the piece she was working on. It was a starry night over a city of lights, not her best work, but then again, it'd been a while since anyone had let her be artistic. She found it soothing. And she needed some soothing.

Today was the day, she'd decided. She'd finished her chores early and retreated to her room to plan, but the anxiety had gotten so bad that she decided to pick up her pastels and draw a bit to try and calm her nerves. Still, it didn't stop her leg from shaking, or her fingernails from being bitten. How would she handle this, she thought. How would she do? Today was the day, the day where she proved to everyone - herself, included - what a monster her Mistress was. Like all the rest of them, she too harbored evil, Kat thought, somewhere deep down.

There was one chore she hadn't done. She hadn't swept the entryway, leaving dirt and dust on the floor, and now it was just a waiting game, to see who noticed. But the waiting was killing her. She fidgeted restlessly, staring at her pastel drawing. She started to contemplate other ways to do this, easier ways, ways that wouldn't result in a beating, maybe. She felt like she wanted to sweat, but couldn't. Her mouth was parched, but she feared leaving the room.

She knew it would come soon.

And then, it came.

"Kat, sweetie!" her Mistress called out from somewhere within the house.

She slowly crawled out of bed, her heart pounding, breathing shallow. She carefully opened the door and looked around, before slipping out of her room and quietly closing the door behind her, shaking. She made her way toward where her Mistress's voice had come from, eventually coming out on the landing above the foyer. Below her, she found her Mistress standing in the entryway, looking at the floor, inspecting it. A frown was on her face.

"Did you finish all of your chores?" she asked, looking up at her.

Kat shook her head. Her whole body shook now, her hands, her lips, her insides. Everything was shaking, even her voice. "No Mistress."

This was it. Here it would come. The beatings started today. Yet, somewhere deep down inside of her, it was soothing to know that at least the waiting was over. She would be beaten today, and that was that. No more waiting, no more fear, no more anxiety of the unknown. Let them start, some defiant piece of her thought. Let it come. I am ready.

"I didn't think so," Mistress Alexa said, looking down at a wet spot on the floor. "This place is dirty, and it's getting kinda late. Come clean it, okay sweetie?"

Kat's mouth was parched, her throat dry. She could hardly speak, but some piece of her managed to well up enough confidence for her to squeak out a few words. "N-No, Mistress."

Mistress Alexa, on her way out of the room, stopped in her tracks, frozen for what seemed like eternity. Kat watched her, wanting to hurl. The butterflies in her stomach had turned into fire ants, gnawing at her, eating their way out. She wanted to cry, to run, to scream or curse or spit or do something. But there was nothing to do. She'd already said it. A feeling resembling regret washed over her.

"What did you just say?" Mistress Alexa asked, turning around.

Kat hunched down, wincing. "I-I don't want to."

Mistress Alexa bit her lip and made something resembling an angry smile pass over her. "Is that so? Is there a reason for that?"

Kat was on the verge of vomiting. It was all she could do to keep her lunch down. "I-I'm gonna draw."

Mistress Alexa tapped her foot on the floor and crossed her arms. "I see, Kat. And do you really think that's going to fly?"

Silent, Kat stared down at her, the color leaving her face.

Her Mistress sighed. "I'll give you three seconds to get down here. Starting now."

Kat gripped the railing tighter, her knuckles turning white. The sweat started now, trickling down the side of her face from her temple and dripping to the floor. She wiped it away hastily.

"One."

The urge to run welled within her. She could feel the adrenaline shooting through her back, worming its way up to her head like an angry snake.

"Two."

Should she go down there? She could make it if she ran. Surely, Mistress Alexa would be forgiving if she did. Did she really need a beating, anyway? Things were fine as they were. No beating, no problem, right? Of course. She just had to-

"Three."

Her heart nearly stopped. Mistress Alexa sighed and shook her head, running a hand through her hair. "Alright, Kat. Fine. You don't have to."

Kat blinked, her heart still pounding from the adrenaline. "W-What?"

Mistress Alexa shrugged. "You heard me. Cobb can do it instead. Cobb!" she called out.

Within moments, he was in the foyer. "Yes, Madam?"

"Clean this place up please. Seems our little kitten doesn't want to do her chores."

Cobb glanced up at Kat, his expression unreadable. "I see, Madam. I'll get to it right away."

With that, he left, presumably to gather cleaning supplies. Kat watched him go, her heart calming down. She let go of the railing with a sigh, but her Mistress said, "Ah! Get down here right. Now."

Kat winced, but turned and carefully started down the stairs. So, the beatings would start, then. Of course it wouldn't be that easy. She should've known that. How could she have been so foolish? There were repercussions to her actions, and now she would have to face them. But still, that little voice in the back of her mind told her that at least it was over. The beatings would come, and then that would be that.

At the bottom of the stairs, her Mistress snapped her fingers and pointed down at her feet. "Kneel."

She knelt.

"Follow me."

Kat went to stand, but a firm hand on her shoulder pushed her back down. "Crawl."

She slowly knelt back down, and, hand over hand, she followed her Mistress up the stairs, thoughts racing through her mind. Still, she obeyed. She swallowed dryly, if only to keep her guts inside of her. Up the stairs they went, down the hall, Kat crawling shakily behind her Mistress, until they got to her study. Mistress Alexa opened the door and snapped her fingers, pointing Kat to the center of the room, and shutting the door behind them.

Then, after grabbing something off of her desk, she sat in her chair by the fireplace, and sighed. She looked down at Kat, staring at her for a moment, before saying, "So, you don't want to do your chores, hmm?"

Kat sunk into herself.

She continued, "That's fine. You don't have to. But what you can do, is write me a hundred lines. Now."

She threw down a paper pad and a pen before Kat, who stared at the lined paper for a moment, confused. "What?"

Mistress Alexa looked down at her and frowned. "I will not disobey my Mistress, and I will do all of my chores. A hundred lines, let's go."

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it and taking a deep drag. "Look, you've got me smoking inside," she said, snapping her fingers. "Let's go, Kat."

Kat was unsure. She stared at the pen and paper, trying to make sense of it all. Where was the slap? The beating? The cursing, the screaming? Where was the pain? It didn't come, instead leaving her in the quiet of the study, a pen and paper before her, and an expectant Mistress looking down at her. Would she do this? Or would she push her luck? She wasn't sure.

Mistress Alexa cleared her throat. "Now, Kat."

Shakily, Kat picked up the pen and pressed it to the notepad.

"A hundred lines," Mistress Alexa said. "Get to it. I'll be watching. Don't mind me. Though, I don't have to tell you that, now do I? You didn't seem to mind me before."

A pang of shame rose in Kat's heart as her cheeks reddened. The disappointment in her Mistress's voice was palpable. The tension in the air, electric. Slowly, shaking, she put the pen to paper and began to write. A hundred lines.

That couldn't be so bad.

Her hand ached as she walked back to her room. The cramping was the worst part, physically, but the worst part was the way the words echoed in her mind. I will not disobey my Mistress and I will do all of my chores. Over and over they replayed in her mind. She'd obeyed, written all the lines, and by the end, she was suffering. But even though her hand could rest now, her mind remained as active as ever, examining the words, replaying them, listening to them.

She made it to her room, slipped inside, and went straight to her bed and laid down. Staring at the ceiling, she realized the beating never came. Oh, she'd been punished. She could feel it in her hand, hear it in her head. And she could still see the disappointed look on her Mistress's face, and... she shuddered. Something about that look hurt her. Cut her like a knife through butter.

She hated it. She hated herself. Her mind wandered back to her conversation with Cobb. About how she'd been disrespectful, ungrateful even. She felt that now. Understood. With a heavy sigh, she rolled over, and stared at her desk, where she'd sat her pastels. She wasn't in the mood for them, now. Something inside of her felt shameful, too shameful to create.

Her mind felt heavy. She should sleep, she knew. It was getting late. The rains outside were still thundering down, but it was getting darker in her room. She should sleep, she knew. But she had a feeling that sleep would elude her tonight, as it so often did. Such was the luck of a slave, she thought.

And what luck did she have.

Alexa, Chapter Five

Alexa sat in her study after Kat left to go to her room. Head in her hands as she stared out the window, she let her mind go blank. That didn't seem like Kat at all. Kat had been such a sweet girl, always doing as she was told, stuttering nervously. Well, she did that last part for sure. But why had she done any of it in the first place? Was it a lack of gratitude? Acting out?

She shook her head and watched as the rain came down darkly in the twilit evening. Perhaps she was acting out, Alexa thought. Maybe she felt cramped, or nervous, and she just wanted to feel like she was in some sort of control of her life. Alexa had been there before, when she was a teenager.

But Kat wasn't a teenager. Those years should've been behind her. And yet, Alexa found that she could sympathize with the poor girl. That didn't mean she could let it slide, though. A hundred lines seemed like a fitting punishment. Hopefully the words wouldn't leave Kat's mind anytime soon, but Alexa had a feeling that she didn't really need to worry about that.

But what could she do to stop it from happening again? That was the real conundrum here. She would need to talk to Kat, for sure, and figure out what exactly it had been in the first place. And Cobb. She'd need to talk to Cobb. Get his opinion, and apologize for making him do Kat's work for her.

She stood with a sigh and left her study, going to hunt for Cobb. She headed out and took a right through the east wing of her house, and found she didn't have to go far; he was in the foyer, finishing up cleaning.

"Cobb, you mind coming here for a moment?"

Cobb set aside a mop and nodded to her, following her back into her study. There, he took a chair by the fireplace, while she took the chair at her desk. "Cobb, did you see what happened?"

He shook his head. "But I can imagine it wasn't pretty."

"It wasn't. Kat flat out defied me. I could use another cigarette," she muttered, rubbing her eyes. Nicotine sounded excellent right now, but she wasn't keen on smoking inside, and even regretted doing it before. But she'd needed it. "She refused to do her chores. Just... completely refused. Told me no. But I directly ordered her to."

Cobb studied her and then shrugged. "Sometimes slaves get pushy. You remember when Sarah tried to do something similar, yes?"

She stroked her chin for a moment, eyeing the cigarettes on her desk. "Yeah, true," she said, eventually. "But Sarah was sick that day. Pretty badly, too."

Cobb nodded. "A fair point, Madam. But perhaps Kat is feeling under the weather as well."

Alexa sat straight up in her chair and looked, darkly, at Cobb. "Did she go out in the rain?"

"No, no, she's fine. Perhaps a little stomach ache, or something of that nature, was all I was suggesting," he said, putting his hands up in a placating manner.

Alexa gave a sigh of relief and leaned back in her chair. "I don't want her getting sick."

"I assure you Madam, she will be fine."

"But then," Alexa continued, "Why did she just act out like that?"

"Perhaps she wanted attention?"

Alexa shook her head. "I don't think so. And besides, there are much better ways of getting it. Plus it's not like I ignore her."

"And this is another good point, Madam," Cobb said. "But you could stand to spend more time with her, if I may say. She is doing chores most of the day. Perhaps give her a day off?"

Alexa rubbed her eyes. "Yeah, that's not a bad idea. She mentioned wanting to draw. Maybe I've overstressed her."

"It could be," Cobb said, nodding. "Or perhaps she was testing you. Seeing how you'd react to her acting out."

"Testing me?" Alexa asked. "You mean, to see what kind of punishment I would give her, right? Because she had to have known that there would be consequences."

"Of course," Cobb said, clearing his throat. "I've noticed how skittish she can be, and I've come to believe that there is abuse in her past. Perhaps she wanted to see if you were the same."

Cobb had that glint in his eye that Alexa knew meant that he knew more than he was saying. She stared at him for a moment, but let it go.

"Okay. So supposing that's the truth, then you think I can rely on her to not do it again?"

"Probably, I would say," Cobb said with a nod. "She got her answer. I doubt she'd need to do it again."