tagRomanceKate & Jim

Kate & Jim


June, 2011

Katherine once was an insufferable shrew of a wife married to a two-timing cheating wimp of a man for almost 16 years.

Jim is a wrecking yard owner and scrap dealer. He comes from a long line of lawyers, doctors, and family members in the diplomatic corps. He has three brothers and one sister in those professions. Jim absolutely loves his work, especially the hard physical labor involved.

Jim is a plain man bordering on homely. He is also built like a fireplug wrapped in muscles and is as strong as an ox. Jim's intellect is as sharp as a virgin scalpel. He plays it down to his advantage so that people will underestimate him. He finds their lack of insight amusing.

Jim and Katherine were neighbors for almost ten years when unforeseen events devastated Katherine's life. She is a very pretty woman with shoulder blade-length copper red hair and green eyes. Katherine has freckles that decorate her lithe and trim figure which she used to hate them.

Jim started calling her Kate to annoy her, the reference being the Kate from Shakespeare's "The Taming of the Shrew".

At first, Katherine had no idea of the inference, or the fact Jim attended private schools, followed by college to earn a six year degree. Kate was a pretty thorn in his side, while Jim was a thorn in hers until she moved in with him.

Kate has nothing to go back to because she came from nothing, growing up in a shabby trailer court in an immaculately clean rundown trailer in central Florida. Kate lived in that tiny abode with her mother, grandmother and grandfather, Kate's father leaving when she was five. Her grandpa Jack taught her the fine sport of billiards in the recreation hall of the trailer court.

Grandpa Jack was a scoundrel in his younger days, making a living as pool shark; he taught Katherine well. Katherine's grandpa Jack loved Kate more than anything in the world and died when Kate was thirteen followed by Kate's mother who was killed by a bus walking to work when Kate was fifteen.

An honor student, Kate dropped out of school to work full time so that she could care for her grandmother. At nineteen, Kate married a man almost twenty years her senior and moved with him to New York.

Kate's ex-husband, the passive aggressive wimp, ruined her finances and reputation. He left her nothing but the clothes on her back when the house from the divorce settlement literally burned to the ground destroying all of the contents.

The fire marshal deemed the suspicious fire as arson. Katherine was the prime suspect in the ensuing police investigation that led to a grand jury hearing and subsequent bench trial culminating in a plea deal out of desperation.

Kate's husband, Thomas, is no doubt laughing his proverbial ass off in his Villa in Costa Rica with his new young bride who would be Thomas's age of 55 subtract 40.

Thomas planned everything with the precision of an atomic clock. He took three mortgages plus several loans against the house forging Kate's name. He opened and charged to the max on multiple credit cards letting the balances accumulate interest and late payments ruining her credit.

To make matters worse, the home owners insurance was canceled without her knowledge a week before the fire was deliberately set. Katherine was in Florida on a bi-yearly trip visiting with her Grandmother in the nursing home.

Kate's bank accounts were frozen shortly after the fire by the Internal Revenue Service as were her credit cards. To compound her problems, Kate received a letter from the Internal Revenue Service demanding payment for 7 years of unpaid joint taxes; her husband is untouchable in Costa Rica or so he thought.

Their story begins in Jim's driveway the day after Katherine was sentenced to five years probation.

Jim was rebuilding the engine of his restored 1969 Plymouth Road Runner and the silence of no Kate to complain was bliss to his ears.

Kate or Katherine, whatever you prefer was in one dandy of a mess. Jim saw an opportunity to have a clean house not to mention a piece of ass on the side.


"So let me get this straight, Kate, as a condition of your probation you are required to have a place to live with valid mailing address."

"We have been neighbors for 10 years, Jim. I know we have our differences but I have always thought of you as a good man. Your business sponsors several youth sport teams and you coach your own little league team. You have such a big house and it is just you living here."

"Why should I, Kate? You and I never got along, but assuming I agreed. I will wash your mouth out with soap if you talk to me the way you did to your husband.

Afterward you wouldn't be able to sit for a week when I finished spanking your tight little ass. You are hard on the ears but nice on the eyes, pretty Kate.

How many times have you complained to me for working on my cars on my own property, or because the leaves from my oak trees blew in your yard, an act of nature; or because I threw snow on your yard with my snow blower....ridiculous nonsense like that? Your bull shit list of complaints over the years has been endless."

"I know I went a little overboard as a neighborhood activist but if you don't agree the alternative for me is prison. I can't find a job yet to suit my station. I promise you won't even know I'm around."

"Suit your station? That's a good one, Kate" Jim said laughing. You could tell from the look on her face that Katherine wasn't accustomed to being laughed at.

"I'll be dipped, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha," Jim continued to laugh at her, "Suits your station, ha, ha, ha, ha...make yourself useful your Eminence. Please hand me the 3/4" open end box wrench in the third drawer from the top of the tool chest behind you."

Kate was thinking, 'You are a homely unfeeling crude beast, Jim Brady. I paid you a compliment about youth sports and you basically being a good man and I meant it.....if I were your wife indeed; fat chance of that ever happening.

Just try washing my mouth out with soap and spanking my bottom you brutish ogre. You are nothing but a junk man trying to live above your station in life with the biggest house on the street and it's not fair.

I never graduated high school but neither did you Mr. Junk Man.' (a wrong assumption on Kate's part) 'To think I have sunk so low that I have to come begging to you for a place to live.'

But in the end what could she do. Kate swallowed her pride and said, "You have to believe me Jim I didn't do it. I'm not that kind of person."

"I listened to you talk for the past hour. Are you done?"

"Yes, I..." Jim interrupted, "Good, now shut your yap and listen for a change.

I believe you pretty Kate," Jim said wiping his hands on a shop towel as he walked over to her, "It is an election year and the district attorney saw a slam dunk case when he brought your case quickly to trial. You were distraught having lost everything and took a plea deal.

You can be a first class bitch do you know that Ms. self-appointed neighborhood activist. I often got the impression you think your shit doesn't stink.

Don't mistake for a minute I don't know you look down on me. I'm just a common uneducated junk man to you with dirty hands who has his junk cars cluttering up an otherwise compliant neighborhood.

At times you can be an insufferable shrew. That being said I do not doubt your veracity or misguided good intentions.

I don't believe you did it. I believe you are basically a good person who likes to put on airs.

I also think it is a shame your so called friends and compliant neighbors, the one's you managed to bully, turned their backs on you the way they did.

But lucky me; I'm your last choice. How sad is that.

In your defense your husband did you wrong. Thomas wasn't much of a man to begin with so there is no great loss there. Why an obviously intelligent woman like you would marry a man who was so much older is beyond me. You have every legal right to divorce him, however, Thomas has no moral right to do what he did to you.

Like it or not the courts decide divorce settlements no matter the outcome. You didn't do too badly there until your ex-husband got his revenge. I believe he is behind everything.

It is said that women marry men thinking that they can change them. That is why I never married.

It is also said that men marry women hoping that their bride will never change.

I will never change. I doubt you will ever learn to curb your mouth unless someone tames your tight little ass.

Despite your acid tongue, I have often wondered if there is a tender woman's heart beating in your chest, a heart as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. I have been enjoying the view, you ever since you moved here.

If you are offended by my assessment too damn bad. I'm no prize either and I'm anything but handsome. Granted I'm rough around the edges and blunt, perhaps even crude in your eyes.

But I'm an honest troll...nothing like your former piss ant passive aggressive husband Thomas the investment broker with his soft clean hands and manicured nails.

Tell me the truth, am I your last choice, Kate?"

"I won't lie, yes; I'm just looking for a fresh start."

"Excellent, I respect honesty even when it's directed at me. You have just gone up a notch in my eyes.

Let's get down to the nuts and bolts; how much money do you owe the half-ass attorney that allowed a plea deal?"

"I owe him twelve grand."

"Do you owe anyone else money?"

"I filed bankruptcy for everything else except for what the IRS says I owe them. Bankruptcy doesn't cover that. I need to meet the terms of my probation to stay out of jail."

"I'll cover the attorney bill in consideration for your housekeeping expertise.

You can move into the first floor Master bedroom with the attached bathroom my mother used when she was visiting. This will allow you privacy, and I am sure you will be more than comfortable.

Nobody alive I know can keep a house like my Mom used to in her day. Nevertheless I believe you can do a far better job at it than me

I know your house was spotless, Kate. By reputation and the one time you tricked me into attending a neighborhood meeting when my junk cars was the main topic of conversation. It was very clever of you to keep it as the last item on the agenda while you plied me with coffee and coffee cake to soften me up. I never saw it coming.

"Thank you."

"How old are you Kate?"

"I'll be 36 in five months."

"What day in September?"

"The eighth."

"If that doesn't beat all, we have the same birthday; I'll be 37 on the 8th of September," Jim said laughing, "You can bake us a cake. If that coffee cake you served is any indication I know you can cook."

"Of course I can cook."

"I just said that....I need a housekeeper who can a cook. You will fit the bill nicely. Better yet make that a surrogate wife.

It will be a pleasure to have a pretty woman to look at around the house. You will get room and board plus $ 50.00 a week in spending money, provided you learn to keep your yap shut."

Kate was seething and trying to bite her tongue thinking, 'room and board? Fifty dollars you smug bastard...surrogate wife! Who are you to tell me I can't express my opinions. How dare you, you troll.... only when pigs can fly.'

I will send your attorney $250.00 a week until his bill is paid. After your attorney's bill is satisfied your wages will be fourteen hundred a month in addition to room and board. This pretty much means that you will have the run of the house.

That should satisfy the conditions of your probation. You now have a place to live and are gainfully employed. I don't think we require a written contract. There is no need to thank me, as it will be an equitable deal for the both of us."

"What duties other than cooking and cleaning do you require?" Kate asked sweetly."

"As I said, you are a pretty woman, Kate. I might want to roll in the sack on occasion as any good wife would do as part of her wifely duties. At least until your attorney is paid."

"Don't think for a second I will ever let you put your coarse dirty hands on me. You probably can't get it up you ugly beast. It's no wonder why you never married. I'll bet you a year wages that your tiny weenie is a joke. Do you think I'm some kind of high class whore?"

"I never said or even implied that you emasculating shrew.

I never used the word "high class".

What a shame you are such a frigid, unfeeling, ungrateful bitch. What a shame your beauty is only skin deep. I take back what I said about a woman's heart.

I'll bet my left testicle you never had an orgasm in your life.

I also doubt you've ever been with a real man. A good fucking followed by an honest orgasm might thaw you out some. It might do you some good; now you will never know."

"You conceited egotistical troll, you a real man? Don't make me laugh, ogre! If your imagined libido was as huge as your enormous ego your little cock would still only be 1 ½ inches long, assuming you can manage to get it up.

"Who do you think you are some kind of satire? Why are you laughing, asshole? Stop laughing at me!"

"The word is satyr, Kate, not satire. Satire is a literary work in which human vices or folly is attacked through irony, derision, or wit. It can be of a verbal nature such as you just unsuccessfully attempted.

While a satyr is a mythical manlike woodland creature from Greek mythology depicted as having the pointed ears of a goat, the short horns of a goat on his head; the short tail of a goat and the hairy legs of a goat ending in hooves. I'll only concede I'm an ugly man going bald," Jim ran his hand over his close cropped bristly head, "minus the mentioned appendages of genus Capra."

Jim grabbed Kate roughly and kissed her lips making her eyes get big. Kate gasped and sputtered with surprise and indignation, thinking, 'He has been playing with me all along. Nothing I said rattled him. Nothing I said got through his thick troll skin.'

"You...you can go to hell you smug bastard. I'd rather go to prison!" and with that Kate picked up her donated Salvation Army suitcase full of used clothing from the same and walked away.


It was almost midnight when Jim's doorbell rang and he leisurely got out of bed. He put on his robe to answer the door.

When Jim opened it, "I'm not going to beg. Is the job still open?"

"Well, hello, Kate."

"Hello, Sir, may I come in?"

"Of course you may. Let me take your suitcase," and Jim did, leading Kate into the kitchen. He pulled out a chair for her to sit down.

"Have you been crying, Kate, you look terrible."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Fine, are you hungry? Do you want something to eat?"

"No thank you, Sir. Why do you insist on calling me Kate when my name is Katherine?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Kate."

"Fine, you're the boss, Sir."

"Well you woke me up. I'm going to make myself a cup of Earl Grey tea to have with some short bread cookies. Would you like a cup?

"Yes, Please." She gladly accepted as it was her favorite tea, and his.

"What happened to calling me Jim?"

"That wouldn't be proper, Sir."

"I can live with that. Call me Sir if you wish."

"Then... you are going to hire me?"

"Of course, we share the same birthday and as I said, you are a pretty woman and a delight to my eyes."

"What if I wasn't a beautiful woman? Would you still hire me?"

"There you see, we do agree on something."

"What do we agree on?"

"That you are a beautiful woman.......ah hah!"

"Now what's the matter?"

"Stop pretending that you can't smile.....you are still pretending.....that's better.....very nice."

They sat quietly for a time in the kitchen sipping their tea. Jim pretended not to notice that Kate ate most of the cookies, finally, "It's getting late, Kate. Let me show you to your room."


Kate lay on the bed without bothering to undress or unpack her suitcase. Earlier she cried her eyes out. She was absolutely drained and exhausted from worry that Jim wouldn't take her in.

Kate was thinking, 'I'm surprised Jim didn't to rub my nose in it.....the hell with him. The troll only wants one thing from me, sex. I'm not going to change for anybody. I'll call them as I see them.....I'll just have to be extra careful around him; the troll really would spank me.

I also better get accustomed to being called Kate.'

Kate woke up late the next morning feeling refreshed if somewhat momentarily puzzled. Someone, Jim, had taken off her shoes and covered her with a cotton quilt while she slept. Jim also unpacked her suitcase putting everything in the closet or dressers.

'Well I guess the troll saw my "GPS" ankle bracelet. I can deal with everything else but this is so humiliating. I'm not some kind of wild animal or dangerous career criminal or rapist. I was going to tell him.'

Kate went looking for Jim and found a note on the refrigerator addressed to her, "Dear Kate, I'll be overseeing Little League tryouts for most of the day.

Look around and get used to the house. You may have noticed there are no locks on any of the inside doors. I'm not being sarcastic. Help yourself to whatever you need and make yourself at home, Sincerely, Jim."

Kate made herself a poached egg on wheat toast along with a banana for breakfast before taking her shower.

She was pleasantly surprised and then mildly annoyed to find her bathroom freshly stocked with towels, washcloths and toiletries. 'What an ego the troll has to assume that she would come crawling back.'

That was Kate's wrong assumption. Jim's intentions were good even though he guessed right that Kate would be back. He knew Kate was in a hard way; just as he knew somebody close to her case.

There were several brands and types of shampoos and conditioners for Kate to choose, as well as ladies razors, shaving creams or gels. Kate found several styles of toothbrushes and different brands of toothpaste.

Then there were the soaps, however, not just any common brand of store bought soap. Jim bought Kate locally made hard milled organic soaps by Hawk Moon Soaps with names such as Pink Clover. The wrapper described this soap having a light fruity and floral combination with fresh jasmine, lily of the valley, violets and lavender topped off with notes of fresh ripe peaches and raspberries.

There was Jamaican Sunset, Slice of Summer, Powder Room, Red Ripe Raspberry, Mystic, Spring Lilac Herbal and Scented Goat Milk. There was Sun Shower, Sweet Grass & Sage and finally, Country Almond Oat.

Jim is a practical man and planned on using any or all of the soaps that she didn't like.

Kate was thinking, 'the troll can go to hell if he thinks I'm impressed or I can be bought this easy.' Despite the fact that Kate was secretly pleased.

Kate took a leisurely shower. She dressed and explored her new home for at least the next year. Going room to room Kate was thinking, 'The décor and color scheme in most of the rooms in this house are very masculine in flavor and seem to emanate testosterone.

All the furniture is heavy and massive. It looks to be very comfortable. This must be his favorite chair,' and with that Kate dropped down into the well worn but lovingly cared for brown leather chair putting her feet on the matching ottoman.

'Just try laying a hand on me Mr. Troll," she thought punching the arm of the chair, 'I bite as well as bark.'

Kate sat there for a moment imagining that this was her house with Jim as her indentured servant. Jim was wearing a long blond wig and dressed in a French Maid's Uniform serving her tea.

This thought had Kate grinning from ear to ear. "This tea is tepid," she said out loud while pretending to pour the tea from an imaginary cup to the floor, "bring me a fresh hot cup immediately and clean up this mess! You can then stand in the corner, sissy boy. When I'm done with my tea you will be spanked again with my hairbrush," and this caused Kate to get silly and laugh out loud.

Report Story

bybeagle9690© 14 comments/ 41260 views/ 56 favorites

Share the love

Report a Bug

6 Pages:123

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar: