All Comments on 'Kathy and the Beach Vacation'

Really liked the story. But definitely needs a sequ. A big bonus to you by having her a redhead. I’m like t h e male and burn in 15 minutes a tanned redhead goes high on the Peter meter. More info on why she has gone from church lady to sex slut. You have only given his point of view of her transition to sex Lovett. Good luck on next story.

Learn to use quotation marks.

A story written by an admitted skank whore. Who else has over 100 "partners" as you've called them? You wasted the chance to introduce yourself as someone worth reading. Yours will be the next writer heaped onto a huge pile of writers to ignore.

The characters are fun, and exploring something outside of vanilla has great potential as a story line.

Constructive criticism: don't change the subject midway through a paragraph, and use quotation marks to indicate when someone's talking.

Keep writing!

First listen to your author friends. They will have a better perspective than random people from the shadows. Second write for yourself but please share it. You may want to consider using an editor. I did have some trouble following who was saying what. I am not a great writer but I like what I have written and shared it. Not everyone likes it but that won’t stop me. Look up “the man in the arena” by Teddy Roosevelt. It guides me through the comments. And yes, keep writing.

Quotes need marks around them.

It skips around in tone a bit.

It felt less like a written story and more of a written account of an oral retelling.

There was no stabbing or minotaurs. I like stories that have both. Or maybe Emma Watson.