by explorer900408
I hope there is more too.
Just wish you would look over your spelling a tad bit better but if not, i still like the stories!
The story line is over done, but not terrible. However, it does require LOTS of editing. The sentences are halting and forced. The scene descriptions and dialogue are rushed. The details need to be more realistic. If she was raped beaten and starved for days she wouldn't be able to walk. Mr. Kean's would want her to be tested for std's and other infections before sleeping with her. She would very likely require intensive care for days, if not professional medical attention.
Wouldn't Mr. Edward know where Mr. Kean lives? and find them.
anyway, I like your other story the Brother's best friend one. So I can see you have improved! that is much better.
TY
No more was needed...a nice finish is always a good thing...thanks and take care
Other then wantng mr edwards to jump off a cliff it was a good story. Ty
I want to know what mr Edwards reaction is to finding her gone also see him get what he deserves